DYLAN ||

"You lied, little one."

I swallow nervously as I continue to look at my mate. What the fuck did he mean by that? What did I lie about? Why is so angry with me right now?

"Dylan."

I frowned at the sound of my name, I hate that fucking name coming from him and he knows that. I knew from all that's happened in our past, that I'm in serious trouble if he ever calls me that.

"Baby, what did I do?"

"You lied."

"About what?" I ask, taking a hesitant step towards the bed.

"About not putting yourself in danger... you fucking lied to me." I flinched at his sudden use of foul language, if it's another thing I knew about my mate, it was that he didn't use strong language as much as me, so when he did, he was either really upset or was about to lay down the law in his own way.

"Babe, you're cursing at me."

"Yeah I am, because you fucking lied Dylan."

"Stop calling me that." My frown deepened.

"No, because you lied. You told me you wouldn't put yourself in danger, you promised me." He growled, standing up from the bed and making his way towards me.

I immediately was concerned about his back, he hasn't moved this fast in 2 weeks and he's still healing, so he needs to calm the fuck down. Yell at me and be mad, whatever, but I won't allow him to hurt himself in the process.

"Babe, stop, calm down, your back." I tell him as I met him the rest of the way, then wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Don't fucking touch me!" He roared as he shoved my arms from his body.

"What the fuck Raiden! What's wrong with you? Why are you being such a dick?"

"Because you lied Dylan! You promised me you wouldn't put yourself in danger, but you lied. I heard your whole conversation with Gabe and Hunter, oh and Taj of all fucking people!"

I sucked in a sharp breath at my mates words. I didn't know he was listening to that, fuck me, that's why he's so mad.

Fucking shit...

"Ok babe, ok I can explain." I reach out for him again, only for him to shove my hands away.

"Stop touching me Dylan! I don't want to hear shit that you have to say, you promised me something, knowing you were lying straight to my face."

"No, it's not like that babe, please listen."

"I don't want to fucking listen..." He growls, trying to move past me before hunching over and crying out in pain. I rushed over to him to help, slowly pulling him upright despite his constant ways of trying to fight me off.

We both knew that if he was fully healed, he would have no problem overpowering me, as he's shown me so many stupid times, but right now, I was the stronger one and he needed my help, whether he wanted to except it or not.

The curse words that flew out of his mouth and the continuous ways he was fighting me off him were absolutely ridiculous though. I understand that I lied and I would have to make that up to him, but he needed my help right now, so he shouldn't be going against me like this.

Plus he's strong as shit, despite having a serious back injury. It took more effort than I intended to use to get him back onto the bed.

"Stop it Raiden, stop fighting me damn it, just lay down and relax." I tell him as I dodge his many swats and try to pull the blanket over his legs for like the tenth time.

"I don't want your help, you lied to me! How could you say you love me and lie to me?"

"I know and I'm sorry, but I didn't want you to worry." I tell him as I attempt to hold his legs down, so that I could pull the blanket up.

"And I do love you Raiden, so fucking much, but I lied because I didn't want you to worry, I know that was the wrong thing to do, but if I told you the truth, you would have totally flipped your shit."

All of his angry leopard swats stop abruptly as he drops his hands and stops kicking his legs.

"I love you too pups and I wouldn't have flipped my shit." He argued back, finally letting me pull the blanket up.

"You're flipping your shit right now."

"No I'm not, I'm being calm now, there's no shit flipping happening."

"Babe, just a minute ago, you were flipping your shit, so just because no shit flipping is happening right now, doesn't mean that you weren't shit flipping a second ago, shit flipped everywhere, you totally proved my point behind why I lied, you would have flipped your shit, which is exactly what happened, shit flipped, so I win."

I raise my eyebrow when he opens his mouth to argue again before shutting it just as fast when he seen my expression. I smiled triumphantly when he rolled his eyes and growled.

"Fine, I flipped my shit." He says folding his arms and pouting like the pup he calls me.

"Yes you did." I tell him, before leaning down to kiss his forehead.

"But I flipped shit for a good reason." He tells me, unfolding his arms and pulling the blanket open so I could climb in bed next to him.

"Yes, it was for a very good reason and I'm sorry for lying babe." I smile when he scoots closer.

"What you're planning to do is dangerous pups and I hate it, can't you just stay here and wait for me to heal so that I can go with you?"

"I wish I could babe, I really do, but like you told me weeks ago, I have to grow the fuck up and pull my big boy briefs up and be the Alpha that my pack deserves." I chuckled when his eyes widened at the remembrance of his own words.

"Dang it, that was rude to say, I'm sorry about that pups." He grabs my arm and pulls me even closer. I place my hands on his chest as I look into his eyes.

"It's ok babe, I needed to hear it, you were right, I was being an idiot for wanting to lock myself away at the moment." I lean in to kiss his lips briefly. "You were also right by saying we have our whole lives for me to punish myself for the past."

"Wow, Dylan Harris, admitting his mate was right about one of his idiotic plans? I thought I'd never see the day." Raiden's voice was laced with sarcasm, all I could do was glare at him.

"You're so fucking annoying." I complained with a smile.

"And you love me." He teased, grabbing the front of my shirt and pulling me into him, our lips crashing into each other's.

This kiss was a lot different than our other ones. I didn't feel self conscious or scared of anything with my mate's lips pressed against mine anymore. He made me feel comfortable and safe and loved, so it was beyond easy to let myself go and just indulge in everything that was my Raiden.

My nails dug into his chest as his hands cupped my face, pulling me impossibly closer to him, my nose melting into his. He purred heavily into my mouth, the vibrations radiating from his chest reached into mine. I couldn't stop the moan that forced its way up as I felt one of his hands move to the back of my head, his fingers tangled into my hair as his other hand slowly traveled from my cheek, down my arm, until he reached my hip and stopped as he gripped the bottom of my shirt.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, licking his bottom lip and he opened up for me so beautifully, almost as if he was trying to be the most perfect, submissive mate that we both knew he wasn't. This man, my man, was anything but submissive, that was beyond clear at this point.

I wasn't expecting the moment when he broke our kiss and pulled my shirt over my head, completely tearing it from my body and throwing it across the room.

Looking into his eyes, they were glowing with desire as I'm sure mine were. I wasn't ready to have sex with him yet, but I damn sure wanted to keep whatever this was going. He ignited every fiber of my being in the most primal, naturalistic way.

My heart was pounding in my chest, pounding so hard to the beat of his seductive ass scent, I didn't give one fuck about being almost completely naked with my mate. We slept in our briefs every night, so this was normal for me at this point.

Grabbing his face, I place my lips back onto his with the pure hunger and satisfaction that only he could bring me. Feeling his hands run up my back, sent a shiver up my spine as the sparks of our bond danced across my skin.

Then his arms wrapped around my waist and he flipped us with such ease and speed, it caught me off guard as my back landed on the bed, with my mate hovering over me as he opened my legs and positioned himself between them.

The moment I felt his erection grind into my hips, I broke our kiss and attempted to catch my breath as I tried to contemplate what the fuck just happened.

"Raiden." I breathed out, my chest rising and falling heavily.

"Yes pups?" He asks, eyes glowing even brighter as he leaned down and kissed my neck. My entire body shuddered underneath him as his canines grazed my sweet spot, the spot reserved for my mate's mark, the spot that would only ever belong to him.

"B-babe, wait t-this is too m-much." I was panicking, legit freaking out. I've never been intimate with another man, never once been under another man, I've never been belly up before, I didn't even like this position when I had sex with girls, it made me feel even weaker than I already am, more vulnerable, too submissive.

"Pups?" He asks, pulling back from my neck and I take a few deep, shaky breaths, trying so hard not to ruin this moment with my mate, but fuck me, I was scared. Too scared.

I don't know if I'm ready for this..

"Dylan."

Hearing my name once again, I blink a few times before focusing back on my mate, who was still above me.

"What's wrong love?" My eyes brimmed with tears as I tried to find the right words to explain how I was feeling.

"I've never.." I let out a heavy breath. "I've never had sex with a man Raiden, I'm not ready for this." I tell him, frantically shaking my head.

"Hey, hey, hey, shhhh, it's ok pups." His hands cup my face once again as he propped himself up on his elbows. "I wouldn't force you to do anything you don't want to do, love." He kissed my forehead. "I'm so sorry that I scared you, I know you're not ready for this yet, you just got to a point to where kissing me and cuddling was ok, I never assumed you wanted this, I'm sorry I got carried away, I'm so sorry."

He planted gentle kisses all over my face as I slowed my breathing, soaking in my mate's reassurance.

I appreciated him so much for saying what he did, for slowing down, for understanding, but I didn't understand the part of me that actually wanted this.

I've accepted that I'm attracted to Raiden, I've accepted that I love him, I've accepted that he's my mate because he's perfect and I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have been blessed with such an amazing mate, but I was still scared of being intimate with another man.

I blame my fucking dad and uncle Jake for this shit, with them shoving the idea of a female Luna so far down my throat, I'm fighting against the one man that's been perfectly destined for me. This fucking sucks and I want it to stop!

I want to accept this part of me, I want to desire my mate the same way he desires me, I want to love him the way he loves me, I want to spend the last night with him in the best way I can before I leave for weeks to scout out these stupid rogue camps. I want to want him.

"Just say it Dylan, it's ok to be scared, Raiden won't hurt you, you know that." Maddox whispered, making all my stupid thoughts pause.

He's right. My mate won't hurt me and it's ok to be scared about this, it's ok to be scared.

I don't want to be lost in my reality anymore, I want to be lost in his fantasy. I want him to be my reality.

"Pups, please say something, you're scaring the shit out of me."

I nod more to myself than him.

"I want this Raiden." I rush out the words before my mind was able to convince me otherwise. His eyebrows raise for a split second before he frowns.

"Dylan, you don't have to do this just for me, I won't make-" I placed my hand over his mouth, cutting him off.

"I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for me babe, I want you and I'm scared about being intimate with another man, but I can't get over this, unless I just try." I tell him before removing my hand from his mouth.

Raiden stares down into my eyes, taking in my whole soul and clutching it under his deep gaze before shaking his head.

"You're not ready for this pups." He tells me plainly.

"But I want you in some way babe, I'm just not ready for sex or I don't know, maybe I am or fuck I don't know..." I close my eyes, angry at myself for having such conflicting thoughts.

There was an awkward silence that filled the room before Raiden spoke again.

"There's more to sex than just penetration Dylan."

My eyes flew open to see a smile on my mates face.

"When you look at me, is your first thought, that you see a man?" He asks, I take a few minutes to think about his words before I shake my head.

That may have been my thought process in the beginning, all I saw was another man, a gorgeous man, someone who made me look and feel like the weaker one in the relationship, a man who could overpower me and I didn't understand why I was attracted to him, someone who was a feline and all of that scared me, but that was stupid thinking.

Now all I see is Raiden, my mate, a man who I love and have come to accept that I'm attracted to, someone who's perfect for me, I don't just see a man or a feline, I see my mate.

I shake my head again.

"What do you see when you look at me pups?"

"My mate." I answer a lot quicker than I thought I would. A beautiful smile takes over his face then, showing off his perfect teeth before he bit his bottom lip.

"Then don't think of what we do together as intimacy between two men.." He leans down and gently kisses my lips before pulling back just enough to look into my eyes. "Think of what we do together, as two mates loving each other, nothing more, nothing less."

"Ok." I whisper against his lips as he smiled against mine.

"Because of how nervous you are, we will need a safe word, baby."

I frowned. "What's a safe word?"

"A word that's unique to me and you, a word that you will say if I ever do anything that you're not comfortable with, hearing it will make me stop immediately because I never want to push you too far."

"Then why can't I just say stop?" I ask, then suck in a sharp breath as his lips hover over mine and his eyes deepen into my soul once again.

"Because sometimes you won't mean it."

His purr clutched every pore on my skin as his calling slipped over me, causing my back to arch slightly off the bed.

Fucking fuck, that was sexy..

I swallow nervously before nodding, then letting out a deep sigh when his eyes tear away from mine and he kisses my forehead.

"Safe word?" Raiden asks kissing the tip of my nose.

"Umm... apple juice?" I ask, hopeful that would work, but by the way he frowns, I could tell that wasn't going to.

"No pups, it needs to be a word that we don't talk about or hear often, something that when I hear it, I would get thrown off and immediately recognize that you're uncomfortable."

I nod again before thinking of something I hate, something if I talked about it or heard it or smelled it, I would get turned off or throw up or something.

"Pickles." I suggest with a smile, proud that I've thought of something that was unique.

Raiden nods before he looked away and frowned, not even seconds later, he snorted and tried to hide his smile.

"What?"

"'Nothing pups, I don't want to ruin the mood." He smiles, shaking his head.

"Tell me or that will ruin the mood."

"Your name." He chuckles. "And your safe word."

"What about it?"

"Pickles. Your name is Dylan, if someone called you Dill as a nickname, then it would be like dill pickles, like the brand, get it."

I frown at the realization before my mate bursts out in a fit of laughter.

The sheer joy that his attempt of a joke brought him, made me glare at him before shoving his body off mine. Completely forgetting about his back injury.

"Mood over." I declare walking towards the bathroom.

"Oh come on, Dill pickles, it's not that bad!" Raiden continued to laugh obnoxiously loud.

I slammed the bathroom door shut.

Well, at least I know that I'm ready to take the next step with my mate, at least I know I want him without freaking out completely.

Our time would come, maybe not tonight, but soon. When I come back from our scouting trip, I would be able to have my mate in a way that I want, in a way we both deserve, no matter what my conflicting ass brain thought.

I just wouldn't be using pickles as a safe word.

Dill Pickles, that shit wasn't funny.

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