《Alpha's Leopard (MxM)》Chapter 31: MY SOUND
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DYLAN ||
"I'm deaf."
The words I never thought I would tell anyone outside of my family and my doctors.
I told babe because he deserves to know, I can't be selfish any longer if I want this to work and I do, I want this to work so bad.
If anything, these last two weeks have taught me that I can't ignore what's meant for me. I've tried and I just can't do it anymore.
I need Raiden and I'm going to do everything in my power to show him that I will do whatever he needs me to do to prove to him that I'm not selfish.
"Pups?" He asks as his frown deepens.
"Yes babe." I whispered, scared of what he would say next.
"You're deaf?" I nod, hanging my head.
"What does that mean exactly?" Babe asks, making me look at him again.
Does he seriously not know?
"It means I can't hear like everyone else can."
"And these help you hear?" His fingers gently graze my hearing aids in both ears. I nod.
"What happens if you don't have them?"
The same damn question I've heard so many times in my life...
"I basically can't hear much... in the simplest of terms, they help make the sounds around me louder so I can hear them."
He stares into my eyes for what felt like eternity. His lips never uttering a single word as his fingers continued to hover over my ears.
I was scared to say the least. I didn't know what his silence meant, I hate silence, it's the one thing that scares me the most in this world. Something I can't control, something that haunts me even in my happiest moments. Like here, while I lay in the arms of this beautiful man that's been destined for me, I can't help but feel the fear that takes over everytime things go silent.
Raiden takes a deep breath before narrowing his eyes at me.
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Please don't reject me....
I know I'm broken, I know I'm less than perfect, I know I don't deserve you, but please don't reject me...
When the silence becomes too much, I had to say something. The fear of the unknown scared me more than the silence did.
"I understand if this is alot for you to take in Raiden and I understand if you...." I pause before letting out a shaky breath. "I understand if you want to reject me, I know I'm not the most perfect mate and I'm not fit to be the Alpha..." I pause again to try and calm my heart rate down. "I'm sorry I lied to you about this, I was selfish and I was just so afraid that you would judge me like everyone else has."
My eyes find his again.
"I thought you wouldn't accept me because of this, I've been bullied my whole life because of it, I didn't want to lose you because of my disability, I know it's stupid to feel this way. I know it's selfish to think you would reject me for something like this, but I just... I'm scared Raiden... I hate everything about this, it sucks, it makes me weak, it makes me an easy target, I get so scared that someone will find out and then hurt me or something.. I'm not as strong as other Alphas, someone can just take my hearing aids and then that's it.. I wouldn't be able to hear hardly anything.. until it's too late and I'm scared Raiden.... Im sorry for lying to you, please don't hate me for it, I was just scared..... I am scared."
I hang my head as I let the tears fall, I shouldn't be so emotional about this because it's apart of who I am, but it's not fair to live in a state of fear all the fucking time.
"Can I kiss you pups?"
His sudden act of intimacy caught me off guard, needless to say, my damning thoughts shut the fuck up just as quickly and nod without much pause.
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I gasp when his lips gently crash into mine. His hands slowly traveling down until they're cupping my face and I reach up to grab his wrists.
Oh my Goddess... how I've missed his kisses..
Butterflies fluttered throughout my stomach as our kiss froze time. This kiss would stay with me forever.
In the shadows of the room, we were so close, I could smell that intoxicating mixture of scents that only my mate could wear so amazingly. His nose brushed mine as he slowly tilted his head. I could feel him breathing into me as I leaned in closer, I never wanted this moment to end.
My heart beat faster and faster as I felt his tongue slide across my bottom lip before he bit down so gently, I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips as he swallowed all that I gave him.
I opened my mouth for my mate and I feel his tongue slip onto mine, I didn't put up a fight, I wanted him to dominate me. I needed him to lead this kiss because I was so dumbfounded by the fact that this man was actually all mine.
Raiden never asked for more during his gentle kiss, it was almost as if he just wanted me to know that he accepts my everything. His lips cured any panic I once felt, any fear that crept into my heart as he held me so close, his breath became mine.
He was the first to break our kiss, I kept my eyes closed and let out a deep sigh before a soft smile tugged onto my lips. Raiden leaned his forehead against mine then kissed the tip of my nose.
"Pups, you may not be perfect, but you are not broken." His voice was soft and gentle as he spoke to me.
His lips meet mine for a quick kiss. "You are not broken." He kissed me again. "It's ok to be scared." His grip tightened. "And it's ok to want to hide this part of you from others, but you don't have to hide it from me."
Raiden pulled away just enough to look into my eyes as his thumbs rubbed gentle circles on my cheeks.
"Baby, you are strong and powerful, just because you aren't like every other Alpha out there doesn't mean that you aren't just as important." His gaze held mine until I nod in agreement, then he kissed the tip of my nose again before kissing my forehead.
My grip never faltered as I held onto his wrists for dear life. I didn't know I could hold myself up if I wasn't clinging onto my mate.
"Your strength is inspiring." He looks into my eyes again. "And these don't define you." His hands travel from my face to my ears again. "They damn sure don't scare me away."
The tears fall freely once again.
"We have a long way to go to get back to a point to where we trust each other pups, but I assure you that your hearing doesn't scare me away."
How did I get so lucky?
I sniffle trying my best to control my overwhelming emotions. Everything felt so intense with my mate's eyes on mine and his gentle kisses and his reassuring words.
"Whatever you need help with, whatever you're not sure of, I will be there pups. Always, even with this... your hearing doesn't scare me and if it comes down to it, I will be the sound of your life."
The tears continue to fall, but this time, with my permission.
Goddess...
He's just so perfect, how the hell could I ever compare to him? How would I ever be able to be the mate he deserves?
He gently kissed my lips one more time before laying my head on his chest.
"I will always be your sound."
_____________________________
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8 817royalty || beomryu
[ completed + edited ]in which, where a royalty ran away, from her own kingdom and family.just for somebody's sake.but, little did she know, after an encounter with somebody, her life starts to turn, once again.this book, took inspiration from "akagami no shirayukihime" or "snow white with the red hair".book one of the royalty series.↦ royalty series:↠ royalty || beomryu heiress || beomryu memoirs || beomryumost impressive ranking:#2 chaeryeong: 06 - 29 - 2020date published: 05 - 01 - 2020date ended: 06 - 12 - 2020date republished: 08 - 13 - 2020date edited: 07 - 26 - 2020© Center_Queen
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