RAIDEN ||

Furious.

The only word I could think of that best described the way I was feeling right now.

It's now been 14 days since I left the room I shared with Dylan and I planned to keep up his punishment until I reached the 21st day, the total number of days he left me to rot in that cell.

The punishment I'm handing out may not be as severe as the one he handed me, but it was getting my point across.

I know doing this to him was necessary because I don't trust him anymore, it was so hard to believe that he was as cold hearted as Onyx said, but what reason did Maddox have to lie? I'm sure he was desperate to get on our good side, they must have argued or something to make Maddox get to the point to where he would sell his human out.

And I'm glad he did.

He really was thinking about rejecting me while I was suffering. He only kept our bond intact for his own benefit. I could have handled him saying that he didn't reject me because he was scared, but wanted his mate, yet he didn't reject me because he didn't want to weaken himself or Maddox. That's so unbelievably selfish and that right there was enough to keep my head leveled.

Giving into his tears and his pleas wasn't an option right now, even though it was killing me seeing him so hurt. Dylan needed to understand how badly he's treated me and how forgiving I've been.

He could have at least told me himself, he's been honest about everything else, but truly accepting that he's been a selfish asshole seems to be too much for him.

I honestly don't believe that he's as sorry as he says he is. If I would have given into him the first night, he probably would have reverted back to his selfish ways.

Trying to think of anything he's actually done for me other than hunting that deer and giving me a home was pointless. I couldn't think of anything else.

Not even when he kissed me or hugged me or cuddled with me. Really looking into those actions, they were all for him.

He kissed me because he was caught up in his own emotions and he continued to kiss me because it felt good for him. He hugged me because he wanted to, not because I wanted him to. He cuddled with me because he craves attention and he damn near held me hostage to keep himself comfortable and happy.

None of his affections were for me, he didn't do anything because I wanted him to. He did it because he wanted to. That's not him holding up his end of the compromise at all.

I've given him everything he's asked for, everything he's wanted from me, I've given him. I didn't even make his life hard after suffering the way I did, yet he still can't see how awful he's been.

Even the reason he came into my room that first night was for his own gain, not mine. Sure he apologized again, but one of the first things he said when he walked in uninvited was that he couldn't sleep without me. He never asked me how I was feeling or if I needed anything, the only thing on his mind were his own needs.

He couldn't even give me the space that I needed. I asked him to leave me alone, I asked him not to come into my room, yet he did anyways.

I told him to leave when he was inside, yet he told me no. He didn't actually leave until I forced him to and I had threaten him to get my point across.

Mates shouldn't treat each other this way.

My parents would never do this to each other.

My father never once punished my mother, even after they first met and their bond was fresh. She attacked some of the lionesses, causing them weeks in the hospital and an uproar in the pride, yet all my father did was try to understand what made my mother attack the way she did.

Shaking my head to stop the painful memories, I quickly get off the bed to take a shower. I stood in the hot water for what seemed like hours before I actually got out.

Letting my hair hang down my back to air dry, I get dressed before heading towards the door in search of the kitchen.

Opening the door, the sight in front of me didn't surprise me as I felt his presence and held his scent every night since I left.

Dylan was sleep on the floor right outside my door with a blanket and pillow as he has been for the past 10 days. I almost allowed my emotions to flow freely this time, but I quickly tightened up so I didn't give into him too early.

Two weeks hasn't nearly been long enough for him to understand what he's done.

I stepped over his body, gently kicking him with my foot, thinking to myself that little kick was for him allowing his brother and cousin to beat me in the cells without punishment.

"Mmm." He groaned before slowly opening his eyes and sitting up as soon as he saw me.

He went to open his mouth, but when nothing came out, he quickly shut it and his shoulders slumped. My command was still in effect and he knew as well as I did, that he couldn't speak to me unless I spoke to him first.

I simply nod in approval as I had every morning before, then I close the door behind me and make my way to the kitchen. It take didn't long before I heard him shuffling behind me.

Dylan was mumbling behind me, almost like a hum because he couldn't actually talk to me. It was starting to annoy me, so I decided to speak first so he could actually produce words.

"You can speak now Dylan." I say and I heard him gasp.

"Raiden, can we talk? You haven't said one word to me in days." He says as I turn the corner into the kitchen, I drop my distance command so that he could actually be in the same room as me.

As much as I hated to admit it, these last 10 days had been hard on me too. Not only was I angry, but I missed my mate so much. Allowing him to stay in the same room as me, would help satisfy my need for him.

"I don't have anything to talk about." I answer back, opening the freezer to get a piece of deer leg that Dylan's aunt Sophie cut up for me during that first family dinner.

Dylan gasped obnoxiously loud as I turn around to look at him. He was looking at me, then looked around the kitchen, down at his feet and then back at me. He's clearly just now noticing I dropped my distance command.

"Thank you Raiden."

"I don't want to talk about it Dylan."

"But all you've done is tell me to leave you alone Raiden.. it's been 2 weeks, please talk to me. I'm losing my mind.... You dropped your command, so you must not hate me anymore."

"Dylan, I just told you I don't have anything to say.. if you keep pushing the issue, I'm going to command you again."

He whined loudly before hanging his head. We both knew I had no problem with commanding him now, I promised I would never do it, but he's pushed me too far. This is for his own good, even if it's tearing me apart seeing him hurt like this.

There was a deafening silence between us for minutes before Dylan spoke again.

"Well, well how did you sleep?" He asks gently and I freeze before looking over my shoulder to see Dylan staring at me.

I know I told him to leave me alone, but he just asked a question that had nothing to do with himself and it actually felt good to hear.

"You want to know how I slept?" I ask skeptically and he nods. "I slept fine, great actually. Thank you for asking."

I stare at him for a few more seconds before dropping the frozen piece of deer leg in the sink and running the cold water to safely thaw it.

"Do you want to know how I slept?" He asks and I shake my head.

"No."

I didn't even turn around, I couldn't see his face right now. I was still pissed off and he needed to know that, but I also knew that if I continued to look at him, I would cave. His pain was starting to become mine and I had to stay strong if he was going to understand.

"Ok." That was all he said before I felt him move from behind me. Glancing back over my shoulder, he was taking a seat at the island counter.

"Do you need any help with your food? I can do whatever you need me to do." His eyes were almost pleading with me to say yes.

Damn this is going to be hard..

"No, I can manage Dylan... Thank you."

He nods again then sits quietly, placing his hands in his lap as he watches me pour myself a glass of orange juice.

I quickly drink the first cup, then pour myself another. Just as I put the container back in the fridge, I heard my brother and Hunter arguing as usual.

"You need to take a high five to the face... with a brick! You are so unbelievably frustrating!" Hunter yells storming into the kitchen with Rome hot on his heels.

I swear everytime these two come into a room, they are arguing. Well Hunter is arguing while Rome is laughing. The sexual tension between them was all too serious, obviously Hunter needs more dick in his life. Maybe then he would stop being so damn hostile all the time.

"Babe, you're so damn cute when you're angry, but your threats are getting out of hand." Rome laughed looking down at his mate.

"Whatever! You know what's really getting out of hand?" Hunter yelled again, closing the gap between himself and my brother.

I really didn't want to be nosy, but man they are so entertaining. Hunter is like an angry little chihuahua, always yapping to get his point across and Rome clearly loves every minute of it.

"What's getting out of hand little one?" Rome asks holding his big dumb grin.

"All of your damn teasing! What can't you just be a man and fuck me already?!"

Oop.. that's my cue to mind my own business.

I quickly grab my orange juice and make my way to the livingroom, leaving my deer leg to thaw in the sink. There was no surprise when Dylan joined me only minutes later.

"Do you mind if I watch TV with you?" He asks and I shake my head, knowing if I denied him, with the distance command dropped, he would just find a way to follow me wherever I went next.

Dylan sat on the couch opposite of me, being respectful and keeping his distance while I picked a movie. I could feel him burning a damn hole in the side of my face, but everytime I looked at him, he would hang his head.

So I just shrugged his nonsense off and continued to watch my movie.

After the movie was over, I turned the TV off and walked back into the kitchen. The piece of deer leg had thawed beautifully and I was excited to get something in my stomach.

After eating my share, I threw the rest away. I definitely wouldn't be putting thawed meat back into the freezer, that's just asking for a stomachache.

Onyx was super antsy since we left Dylan and Maddox, so I allowed him to shift in the backyard and sun bathe. Fortunately for us, Dylan had an amazing tree with the sturdiest perching branches we've ever felt under our paws, so Onyx took to claiming that tree as his own.

Unfortunately, today wasn't a nice sunny day, so I would have to find something else to do knowing I couldn't let Onyx shift. We loved the water, but this is still foreign territory to us and I wouldn't be caught dead in the rain on foreign territory.

Everything about that screamed ignorance.

We wouldn't be able to see as well, hear as well, smell as well, nothing. So shifting in the rain on Dylan's territory was a big no no.

I still don't trust his family, not to mention his pack members that I haven't even met. He's yet to host that pack meeting to introduce me as his mate, which I was thankful for to be honest.

I don't do crowds, I freaked out during family dinner, I definitely wouldn't be able to handle pack events. I mean I could bring my scarf, but kneading could only bring so much comfort.

No, I don't think I'll be doing pack meetings anytime soon.

What is that? Who's touching me?

Blinking a few times, I focus back in on my surroundings, somehow I was sitting next to Dylan at the kitchen island and he was tapping my hand.

I looked at him waiting to see what he wanted, but he never said anything. He motioned towards his mouth and I groan knowing that my speech command was still affecting him.

Quickly dropping my command, I stare into his eyes and wait for his response.

"Thank you for dropping your command Raiden."

"You're welcome, but why were you tapping me?" I ask as I watch Dylan swallow then smile softly.

"You were rubbing my back and I didn't know why." He explains. I tear my eyes from his and look to the position of my hands, one on the counter in front of me and the other was on my mate's back. I was subconsciously rubbing circles on his lower back.

I guessed even in my state of mind, I was craving my mate more than I thought.

"Sorry." I move my hand from his back and place it back onto the counter, but he whines at the sudden lose of my touch.

"You didn't have to move your hand." He whispers, his voice was so low, I almost didn't catch it.

I stare at my mate trying to decipher my own feelings as well as his. When the silence became overwhelming, Dylan was the one to speak first.

"Raiden, I want to talk to you so bad, but I don't know what to say... I don't want to be selfish and just think about myself, so can you at least tell me what you want and I'll try to give that to you.... whatever it is. If you want me to leave you alone, to give you space, to continue not talking unless you talk first, whatever you want, I'll give you.. I'm really losing myself here, all I want to do is make you happy so that you can come back to me. Please just tell me what you want and I'll do it."

I didn't really know what to say after that. What he just said, it seems like he's learning just how hurt I was and just how selfish he was being.

"I understand if you don't want to talk to me Raiden, I know what I've done in the past doesn't help make the decision any easier, but I'm begging you babe.... Please."

I narrowed my eyes at my mate, just hearing him call me babe was setting off every flame that burned for him so aggressively 2 weeks ago.

My jaw clenched as I seen tears build in his eyes, my own forcing their way to surface. My anger for him was slowing dissipating.

Dang it..

Dylan scratched up his face, full off emotion before he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I was being selfish again huh? I'm sorry, I'll just g-" He starts to say, but I quickly cut him off.

"Come to my room Dylan."

His eyes widen at my sudden attitude or lack thereof, he never moves or shifts in his seat. He just continues to stare at me, so I took the lead and stood up first. Grabbing his hand, I gently pull him from the stool and walk to the room I had called my own these past 2 weeks.

I open the door and guide him inside, his steps were rough and stuttered, but he made it inside. Dylan's eyes dart around nervously as I close the door behind him.

He flinched at the sound of the lock clicking it place.

Trying not to show how nervous I was, I quickly make my way to the bed to lay down before I look at my mate once again.

His eyes were trained on me, watching me so intently, I could hear his heart rate picking up.

I slowly pulled the blanket back and motioned for him to come over to me.

My mate shook his head, more to himself than me, I'm sure. So I motion for him to come over to me again and he takes a hesitant step forward before stopping, never once did his eyes leave mine.

"Pups, come."

He sucked in a sharp breath, then sighed heavily before rushing towards the bed. He got under the covers with such speed, it scared me, then wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face under my chin. Snuggling as close as he possibly could before inhaling deeply and releasing just as deep.

"Thank you." He cried out as I wrapped my arms around him, cradling his head and rubbing his lower back as he cried into my neck. His whimpers and the way his chest jerked with each rough sob that escaped his lips, had my heart stinging with regret for my actions.

This wouldn't be the end of my frustration with him though and it definitely won't be the end of our tough conversations. As soon as he pulled himself together, I planned to lay it all out on the table.

I want the truth about everything.

Everything he felt and thought while I was in those cells, down to what he thought when I was in the hospital. I want to know how he felt about me dying in that cell, I want to know why he never came for me, why he allowed so many things to happen to me and I don't want his weak ass excuses of being an asshole or being an idiot or his brother Bennett playing a part in his decision.

I get that he lost his brother and I feel for him the same way I did when he first told me, but he has to own up to his actions instead of placing the blame on something other than himself.

He needs to think long and hard about what he's going to say because our bond depends on it.

I don't trust him and a relationship without trust is bound to fail.

No, once he's done crying and feeling the emotions he needs to work through, we would be having the toughest conversations of our bond to date.

I wouldn't let this go by without truly talking about what the past and the actions that went along with it.

____________________________