(Two poems? Back to back? What am I, mentally stable? Wait that wouldn't make sense considering the topic of this... Anyways, this will be the last poem of the year, wow omg it has been a wild year, this year this book took off and I found out that people actually like the poetry i write and are interested in them. I found out that, not everyone, finds me weird or boring or overtly dramatic and people relate to my experiences, and i think its wonderful that i can write about thibgs and people will understand my point. But anyway, sorry for going on about that, I'm just really grateful for the people that like this book and have read through my little weird and mentally broken life, and I want to say thank you for this wonderful year. I don't care if this sounds like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill I'm still so happy about this and want to say this. So yeah, no tws for this poem and its in a simalr style to my first poem, end this year with how this began[ it is also very long so you have been warned], again thank you all for this lovely year and I'll see you all in 2023!)

Your the problem

You know you are

There is a reason you're fucked up

And it's you

But it can't be you

Right?

How can you be the reason?

How did you do this?

There is so much more happening

So there's no way it's you

But it is

You think to much

Talk to much

You do so much

And it all ends in pain

In tears and sadness

You're the one who does this

But other people make you do this

Other people prompt conversations

Other people cause your thoughts to run

You do so much for other people

So they must be the reason you're hurt

But they aren't

You can't blame others for your issues

That has been clear for years

So why blame them now?

Why blame yourself?

If you can't push blame onto others then why yourself?

If you can't say others caused this

Then why say you did?

Because you must've

You have to be the issue

For everything

Everyone was happier without you

You know this

Just like you know you caused this

And you know you are the problem

The reason behind your dread

And sorrow

And anger

You can't blame them for being like this

But you can blame them for leading you to this

Right?

There's no way you lead yourself to this

To this pain

To this hurt

How can you do this to yourself?

Because you know nothing else

You've always known how to destroy things

It's why all you relationships fall

You turned that destruction on yourself

But of course

You wouldn't get that

You wouldn't get how you did that

Because you don't see the way you destroy

The way you break everything

Break everyone around you

Because you didn't know

Or did you?

Maybe you did know and ignored it

Just like you ignored the red flags

Ignored your issues

Ignored how you're the problem

Because God

You are just a walking problem