This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks

Searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb

Chapter Thirty Five

||KIT||

†

"What do you mean he didn't say it back?" Amy's voice rose in pitch as she was in the aisle across from me grabbing items off the shelf.

We were at the local pharmacy the following morning after I'd woken up to see Masky gone.

Considering I didn't want to even entertain the thought of getting pregnant, I'd asked Amy to follow me to the pharmacy so I could pick up some plan b, as well as some other necessities before we went to school.

I shrugged even though she couldn't see me, "he just didn't. Maybe he doesn't feel the same."

"I'm surprised you already said it since you weren't sure you even liked him just a week ago."

"Can you blame me? I was forced to make a deal with some demon king. It doesn't even feel real sometimes."

"Yeah, life feels too normal now, huh?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that," I dropped a box of tampons into the basket I was carrying as Amy rounded the aisle and came up to me, chewing gum.

"In any case, I think you should talk to him about it."

I shrugged again and we made our way to the cashier with our items.

I can't believe I told him I love him.

In truth, I felt like an idiot. I didn't mean to say it so quickly, really, but when it slipped out I was hoping he would reciprocate my feelings.

I wanted to take it back after the fact but unfortunately, I couldn't.

In a way, I had expected him to say it back. Maybe to him I was just someone he could get a different kind of pleasure from.

The fact that he'd said he hadn't had sex before was a little strange to me and I still had a hard time wrapping my head around it considering he seemed to know what he was doing.

I was his first. The thought made me wonder what he saw in me that he felt I was the right person to do it with. Or was he just not lucky with girls?

I sighed as the cashier rang my items up, eyeing the plan b in my hands with distaste.

At least it's not a pregnancy test.

I paid for the items after she told me the total and once everything was in paper bags, Amy and I exit the pharmacy and got in her car.

As she turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot she raised a brow at me, "he did say that you two are dating though?"

"More or less."

"Mm," I could see her narrowing her eyes as she turned the steering wheel, "he sucks at communicating."

"He does right?" I groaned in agreement and sank lower into my seat.

"Yeah, but considering Hoodie seems to be his closest friend I'm not surprised. That guy has no social skills whatsoever."

I chuckled at that, "yeah, I wonder how he's doing."

"He seems to be doing just fine since he won't stop stalking me."

Both my brows shot up, "he's been stalking you?"

"Pretty much. He's been standing outside my window every night for the past few days."

I blinked in surprise, "and you're not gonna do anything about it?"

"Like what, invite him in?" she was obviously being sarcastic but I grinned.

"I mean-"

"Hell no."

I giggled a bit, "well tell him to get lost then."

"Not yet," she said, pulling up at a red light, "I wanna see if he'll find the guts to do anything."

"Doesn't it creep you out though, I mean knowing he could be contemplating your murder or something?"

"Not really. It's kind of endearing, I think. Doesn't it creep you out to know the guy you love killed someone just for buying you a donut?"

I grimaced at that, "touché."

I should have known that would've been her thoughts on the whole situation. Amy was always attracted to the weird ones.

The lights changed and we were off, turning the corner and heading down the street slowly as people were arriving at school, crossing the streets illegally and being obnoxiously happy for some reason.

We pulled up in the school parking lot a minute later.

I stuffed the paper bag into my backpack and hopped out, walking to the entrance with Amy by my side.

"Can't wait to be done with this shit," she mumbled and I agreed wholeheartedly. We only had a few months of high school left and then we'd be free. At least she would be.

Amy had decided to take a gap year before starting college so she could do some traveling. She'd mentioned taking me along with her but I wasn't so sure considering Sara wouldn't be able to afford it and I didn't want to be too dependent on Amy's wealthy parents' support.

As we stepped through the double doors we were met with a face full of paper.

I grabbed the flyer that was slammed in my face to see GG and her friend Norma standing there handing them out.

Gwendoline Gacy had always been an overachiever having already ran for Prom queen once despite being a Junior and her circle of friends was just as bad, especially Norma Allen who was never very far behind. They'd also seemed to collect a new subbie as the tall skinny boy pushed his glasses up onto his freckled nose, timidly passing out flyers as well.

Ever since Cass and the other populars 'disappeared', Gwen and Norma had been trying to put themselves in power as the new face of the school, apparently.

I looked down at the flyer in my hand.

'SAVE OUR STUDENTS' was in bold letters and in the background were the faces of all the students who had been killed or went 'missing' from school under mysterious circumstances.

I didn't bother reading the rest as GG was talking straight at me and Amy while everyone else hurried by so they wouldn't get involved as well.

"How much longer will we stay silent as our own peers continue to go missing from our prestigious high school? We need to do something now! Make sure to follow my Instagram and listen to my podcast 'GG Cares' to get-"

I turned to look at Amy and she rolled her eyes before crushing her own flyer up into a ball and tossing it in a bin.

"Um, excuse me?" Norma stepped before her, "do you not care about everyone that's gone missing?"

"If you don't get the fuck out of my face Allen, I promise you'll end up one of them."

She wasn't kidding, was she?

As we stepped by them I gave the shy boy a paltry smile. Poor thing.

Say what you want about Cassandra but at least she wasn't pretentious. She was a cold-hearted bitch to the end.

Apparently, there were more kids going missing from our school than I originally knew about and it seemed to be a hot topic everywhere I went. My first few periods were spent listening to everyone gossip about what they thought was happening and by the time lunch hour rolled around I was sick of it.

"Are you still planning on taking a gap year?" I asked Amy as we entered the cafeteria together.

She had a boy carrying her purse and I didn't pay him much mind as she seemed to be enjoying the company of a number of random boys lately.

"Yeah, I asked Zalgo to wait until I finish school before we start my proxy training."

I grimaced, "I almost forgot about that. So I guess going to The Maldives is out of the question now?"

"Who knows?" she slid a hand into the boy's pocket and took out his wallet, using the cash inside to pay for our lunches and I raised a brow in question. It's not like she couldn't pay for it herself, that was just a power move.

This girl is something else.

"Oh, did you want anything?" she asked the boy at the last minute and he shook his head, a giddy smile on his face.

Shrugging, we collected our lunches and made our way over to our usual table.

"It's been a while since you came over," Amy commented after we'd been eating for a while.

"Yeah I know, I just didn't want to intrude you know?"

"No, I don't know," she rolled her eyes and bit into her sandwich, "you should come over tonight."

I thought of coming up with an excuse for why I couldn't but decided against it at the look on her face.

In truth, I just didn't know when Masky would be back. He'd said he would be gone a few days but what if he came back early and didn't know where to find me? Then again, how could I choose a boy over my best friend?

"Okay," I agreed and I looked over at the boy who was watching Amy with a lovestruck expression.

"So are you gonna introduce us or...?"

She hardly cast him a glance, "Oh that's just Bryan."

After a few seconds, I realized she wasn't going to elaborate further so I shrugged and continued munching on my fries.

"Did you take the pill?" she asked once we were almost done eating and I shook my head.

"I was going to, after lunch."

"Well, we only have like five minutes left so you might wanna do it soon."

"Yeah, yeah," I cleared my tray and Amy followed me to the bathroom.

Once in the confines of the graffitied girl's bathroom I pulled out the pink box and as I was popping the pills out of their blister pack one of the bathroom stalls opened and GG marched out, heels click-clacking on the floor before she came to a stop by the sink, soaping her hands.

Why anyone would willingly wear heels to school is beyond me.

Catching sight of the box in my hands after I finished swallowing the pills and washing them down, she grimaced, running water over her hands as she looked at me in the mirror, "I suppose I shouldn't expect someone who doesn't care about the life of their own unborn baby to care about everyone going missing either."

Does this girl not know what plan b is-?

"I'm not pregnant," I scowled but she only finished washing her hands and instead of using the hand dryer like a normal person, she instead flashed her hands in my direction, causing me to step back as the water droplets fell on me.

This little-

She gave me one of her fake smiles and I clenched my fists, gritting my teeth. Did she really just-? I wanted to reach out and grab her by the throat but I didn't even have to since as she was walking by Amy to leave the bathroom she was grabbed by her hair and thrown backwards onto the ground.

She let out a shriek, sprawled on the floor like a helpless tortoise on their back, her heels screeching on the tiled floors as she tried to get up.

"Watch yourself," Amy warned with an index pointed at her face, standing over her with a crazed look in her eyes.

I sneered at her, stopping over her body while she looked up at us with wide eyes, "I've killed for less."

I stepped around GG who looked absolutely shellshocked on the floor and Amy took my arm in hers as we heard the late bell ring out, leaving the bathroom.

"Wow, we really did that," I grinned once we were outside and she chuckled.

"She had it coming."

×××

Amy drove me home after school and after letting Sara know I'd be spending the weekend at her house I packed a bag and hopped back in the car with her.

As we rolled down the street she grinned in my direction, "so I may not have told you the whole truth."

"About what?"

"Us going to my place."

"Am I being kidnapped?" I opened my eyes wide.

She chuckled and shook her head, "well it wasn't a total lie. We are going to my place to change."

"Change?"

"Yup, I'm taking you out."

"Out? Out where?" I didn't pack any 'going out' clothes, only pajamas and oversized sweaters so I could walk around the house looking like a bum for two days.

"You'll see," she smirked and I shook my head in disbelief.

Amy had always been a free spirit and a bit of a risk-taker but since lately she's been acting out in ways she hasn't before. It was interesting to see. It's like she was finally being who she always wanted to be. I guess surviving a literal demon will do that to you.

Now, however, she was including me in her activities. I only hoped it wouldn't be anything life threatening like before.

A few minutes later we pulled up outside her house and as we trudged up the stairs to her room I commented on how quiet it was.

"Yeah my parents went on vacation, they'll probably be back in a few days or so," she pushed her door open and I stepped in while she closed it behind me.

"So, where are we going again?" I asked and she grinned, throwing her closet doors open. I watched her rifle through her clothes before she started throwing things on the bed.

Watching with a grim expression, I hugged my arms "this is making me nervous."

She stopped and came over to grab me by the shoulders, looking into my eyes, "Kit, you're eighteen years old."

"I know that."

"And you need to live a little!"

"I just wanna know where the f- heck we're going," I grumbled and she grinned.

"You almost cursed."

I rolled my eyes and she pinched my cheek, "you'll see when we get there."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"You'll love it I promise."

"Will there at least be food?" I watched her shake her head in disappointment as she went back to looking through her clothes.

Once she was satisfied with her find she started to hold up different items for me to choose from and I quickly realized we were probably going to a party.

I'd been to very few parties throughout my life and the last time I did go to a 'party' I ended up getting so drunk I almost burned the kitchen down trying to make cup ramyeon.

Needless to say, I wasn't invited to another barbecue by the Sheridans ever again.

I chose a short black dress with a plunging neckline and silver body chains that seemed to go well with my choker. It was a good thing Amy and I wore almost the same size in some shoes so I was able to find a nice pair of tractor platforms to go with the outfit.

We showered and spent close to the next hour and a half getting ready before Amy finally decided her makeup was perfect. I smiled at her as we went down the stairs, watching her hips sway in the red mini dress she wore, her manicured toes poking out of her nude stilettos.

I chuckled to myself and she spun to look at me from the bottom of the staircase, "what?"

"Remember when I said we were high school girls, not killers?"

She laughed out loud, "yeah?"

"I was wrong. You could definitely pull it off."

She grinned and placed a hand on her hip, "we both could."

I shook my head on a laugh, "I like things better this way."

"Sure you do," she waggled her eyebrows before heading out the door and I followed close behind with a questioning expression.

"Why'd you say it like that?"

"Like what?" She pulled the car door open and I got in on the passenger side, strapping in as I looked over at her.

"Like you have something else to say."

She rolled her eyes and as the car backed up so she could pull out of the driveway I saw her check her reflection in the mirror, "you're dating a serial killer Kit. You can stop pretending you don't enjoy the sick parts too."

"Pfft," I blew out a breath, ready to deny it when she gave me a look.

Okay fine, maybe she was right. I hated the fact that she knew me so well, though it wasn't really the sick parts that I enjoyed. At least, I don't think so. I liked being in control of my life instead of having to live in fear, like before.

Then there was Masky. I didn't know if I could trust him completely even now but I was drawn to him whether I wanted to accept it or not.

It wasn't just the sex either. He'd always expressed his interest in me and managed to make me feel like I was desired more than anything else in the world, even when he was being anything but gentle with me.

There was a part of me that craved his attention and thirsted for all the things he could make me feel with just a look or a word.

He was dangerous, but he never really hurt me. Could he? The thought was scary but it drove a pleasurable shudder down my spine.

Maybe I really did like the sick parts.

The fact that he was unstable and overprotective, direct and unpredictable and so so strong- all the red flags were there but for me, they were an invitation, a challenge.

He'd said that the voices were quiet when he was around me. That had to mean something. Even if he was a killer I knew he couldn't be all bad with what lengths he went to just to make sure I'd be okay.

In the end—

"He's just a really good kisser," I spoke up after my moment of silence before we both looked at each other and bust into laughter.

***