I could already tell that Jake was drunk by the way he made his way over, slower than usual to try and hide just how much he had been drinking, but I could tell. I could always tell. I had his every move memorized for years, just wanting to be part of them.

I wondered which version of him I would be getting tonight. I hope it went easier than I was anticipating.

He held his stare on me for a moment before finally handing his gift over to me, flashing me a gentle smile as he stared back at me with bloodshot eyes. Even still, he was adorable. And it was taking everything in me to keep myself away from him.

But I knew what I was waiting for.

And it was worth it.

I reached under the tree, grabbing his gift and placed it in his lap. He stayed quiet, biting down on his lip as he looked down at it, now carefully holding it in his hands.

I could tell this was going to be excruciating for the both of us.

"There.. there are.. a few parts to your gift." He said nervously, now crawling over next to me as I began to unwrap it. He watched eagerly, taking the scraps of paper from my hands and placing them beside us, then moved his hand onto my leg. I let him.

Moving the tissue paper, I eventually saw a black leather-bound notebook. I peeked up at him, asking for permission to open it. He nodded, smiling back at me. I untied the leather strap that kept it closed and lifted the cover to see a slip of paper fall out and into the gift box. He reached over, stopping my hand as I began to reach for it.

"That one is second." He giggled, motioning back to the notebook. I could feel my heart beating faster now from his touch, his hand fitting so securely around mine.

How much I'd miss being held by him.

Bringing my attention back to the notebook, I could see that he had written something on the first page. I already felt the tears come to my eyes.

Jaime,

Whether or not I'm the one by your side, I cannot wait to see where this life takes you. You are the most beautiful being there has ever been, inside and out, and you deserve everything you want from this world, and I know you're going to get it.

Our entire lives, you have always been there for me to support my dream, so I need you to know that I will always be there for you, supporting yours.

With this journal, I want you to write about our love story, because no matter how short-lived, it was so beautiful, and it was great, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Every moment with you was straight out of a fairytale, so I trust you to bring it to life.

I love you, Jaime, and I always will, no matter what. And if you ever change your mind about us, just know that I will always be here waiting for you. Just kidding. But really.

Love always,

Jake.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him, quickly wiping my eyes before the tears fell onto the page when I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me up against him and into a tight hug. I held on tight, hiding my face in his neck, just letting him hold me, the way I had wanted to be held for so long, knowing that tonight would most likely be the last time.

"I'm so sorry." I sighed, squeezing him tighter as I felt his hand slowly moving up and down my back. I cuddled closer.

"It's okay." He muttered. I knew that it wasn't.

"There's a little more." He said, finally moving away, bringing my attention back to the notebook as he flipped it over, pointing out the small embossed letters on the bottom. I held it up, inspecting in closer.

Go be great.

"I'll try." I said softly, peeking back up at him. He nodded, giving me a sweet smile as he lightly caressed my face, his thumb gently brushing against my cheek.

"You will."

"Is that piece of paper going to make me cry even more?" I asked, giggling to myself. He shook his head, his smile growing into a toothy grin.

"No, probably not. It's not nearly as.. poetic." He laughed. "But.. it's something you've been asking for."

I reached over for it, cuddling close in his lap as I finally opened it. It took me a minute, closely examining the sloppy handwriting and the old, tattered paper to finally realize what it was.

I couldn't believe it.

"Is this-"

"This is the first song I ever wrote." He giggled, wrapping his arms around me again, leaning his chin on my shoulder. "And.. it's awful and unoriginal and humiliating but.. you deserved to see it. At least once. So.. here you go, and we'll never talk about it again." I leaned my head against his, reading it over and over again.

My heart swelled at the thought of young Jake in his bedroom that night we met, sitting on his bed with a guitar that was much too big for him, strumming along and writing this.. about me.

So pretty, so sweet

So perfect for me

So hard to believe

My Jaime.

I'm nervous and shy

I could be the guy

Her prince and shining knight,

For my Jaime

One day, Jaime and me

So happy we'll be

married out by the tree

me and Jaime

One day I'll be brave

and I'll tell her the name

of the boy named Jake

Who loves Jaime

"Can I keep this?" I asked. "Or.. do you want it back?" He shrugged.

"If you want it.. it's yours." He said softly, nuzzling his face into my neck. I held it close, knowing just how much it took for him to show me something like this. Especially now.

"Thank you." I sighed. I felt him nod.

"Anything for you."

I climbed out of his lap, reaching for his gift, and handed it back over to him. He smirked up at me, biting down on his lip as he motioned towards his lap again. I felt my face get hot, now unable to contain my flustered grin as I carefully crawled back over, cuddling close to him again. He let out a relaxed sigh as I leaned my head against his.

"Only tonight." I said softly. I felt him nod, understanding that tonight was the last time we would be like this with each other ever again.

He tossed the wrapping paper to the side, and opened the box that revealed two smaller wrapped boxes inside.

"Open this one first." I said, grabbing the smaller of the two and placing it in his hands. He nodded and began opening without a word.

"W-what are these?" He asked, pulling out a small bag and peeking inside, finally pulling out one of the guitar picks. I reached over, grabbing it and held it up to him to show him.

"So on the front I had them put your band name, and on the back your signature, so when you toss your pick out into the crowd like the other rockstars do, they'll all know it was yours." I said, peeking up at him. He kept his eyes locked on the pick, inspecting it closer as his lips slowly curled into an excited grin.

"Jaime.." He sighed, peeking back up at me. I could tell just by the look in his eyes there was so much more he wanted to say, but nothing came out.

But the look was enough.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tight, instantly feeling him hug me back even tighter, hiding his face in my neck again. He was never one to talk much about the things that got him emotional, so I could tell by the silence that he loved it.

"Thank you." He finally managed. "This.. means a lot."

"I know." I said, reaching back for the second box, placing it in his hand. He sighed, hesitating for a moment before finally ripping off the paper and tossing the lid to the side.

He was quiet again, but eventually pulled out his matching bracelet.

"I finally got yours engraved." I said. He peeked back over at me for a moment before finally flipping it over.

Go be great.

Suddenly silence with him was comfortable again.

"I'm always going to love you, Jaime." He said. My heart jumped, my body now feeling like it was on fire. I knew how easy it was going to be to get caught up in this again, to get caught up in him, but also this time.. was different.

"You know I'm always going to love you too." I whispered. He smirked back at me, now shaking his head.

"Don't say that." He sighed, his smile growing. "Because then I will never be able to let go."

We held our stare on one another for a moment before he finally leaned in closer, gently holding my face in his hand again. His eyes moved down to my lips, asking for permission before diving in one last time. I nodded, and he instantly pulled me into a deep, tender kiss.

He tasted like the sweetest cinnamon, like the ice melting winter away as you slowly readied yourself to welcome summer's warm embrace once again. It was the daybreak after surviving the frigid night, knowing the sun's blistering heat was just moments way.

It was goodbye.