《I Have Even Read the Rulebook!》Interlude 3: A red happened to ME?! Part 2
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Shinead still had a bad day.
Just as she arrived at the dungeon where the Human was waiting for her, what was the first thing he tried to do? Touching her! Obviously, he was so horny, that he wanted to touch and have his way with her even dirty as she was. That pig!
She was able to fend him off and send him back to the campground with the rescued items, before cleaning herself up in the spring. If she had to lead around the monkey to secure his help, at least she would be clean!
Of course, her determination left her as soon as she arrived at the camp. That monkey found another female in the deep forest, and said female was questioning her dedication to the traditions! As every full-ranked scout, she had the permission and means to check the Character Parchments of everyone in the Domain and even outside of it, if she was on a mission. She haven't bothered to check the monkey's, he was so below her, but the Elven woman with Prof… She was shocked. A mixed-race pervert? Of course, one disgusting creature would be drawn to another! However, she expected more of an Elf, even if she was just a perverted cur. Sleeping with a monkey just for the fun of it?!?
Instead of covering in shame as it would be proper in front of a true, pure-blooded Elf, the new female stood up to her!
It took Shinead a few seconds to get the meaning of what the cur was saying and signing. And who she was.
A Little Sister from the All-Elven Investigation Bureau for Internal Insurances' Office for Extra-Arkadian Infiltrations, Intrusions, Influences, Incidents, and Inklings and she was here on official business! Damn it to the Heavenly Game Master! She even ordered Shinead not to lay hand on the Human. Damn it again! And she was the thrice-damned Rabid! Even Shinead heard about her exploits, including her executing some upper-echelon leaders of the High Kings Academy. That bitch was hard-core!
Waaaaait…
If the Office and the Bureau were involved, sent The Rabid of all the possible Little Sisters, and she was basically told to piss off, that could mean only one thing…
The human was a Traveller!
Everyone knew, what kind of depraved perverts they were (even the so-called heroes), trying to build up a harem and rule over their braindead bed-warmers in perverted depravity! Or even worse, was he trying to build up the next Hero's Party? Everyone heard the cautionary tales of the last one, the carnage they wrought, the people they killed, the burial grounds they plundered! But no, he probably wasn't building a Hero's Party, the Little Sister would have ended him already. Probably. Hopefully. Even so, Shinead dodged an arrow with the Little Sister shoving up on time. No, she dodged a whole volley of arrows!
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If the stories were right – and why shouldn’t they be right? – she needed to get away, fast. Probably even the perverter Little Sister was in danger of being seduced by the Traveller, and would warm his bed before long. What else could happen? Would he find an undead or a reptile for the collection? A donkey, maybe?
At least, the Little Sister gave her an out by informing her, that technically she could continue the Clan even on her own. She only had to register the claim with and present the regalia to the final arbiter of any Clan-related issue, the Klánügyi és Garanciális Bizottság, which would mean a month-long journey and conferences. Probably also trials. However, it was worth it, if she could continue the Clan on her own, she would be able to exact revenge in an official manner and secure the epic poems and paintings for the fallen. If she did well enough, probably even statues weren't out of question.
It would be a legendary epic: the last surviving member of a destroyed Clan exacted revenge in the official, Proper Elven Way! She would be a role model, not a failure!
The best of it, she wouldn’t need the help of a monkey. Or sleep with one. Or get into the harem of one. The Little Sister was welcome to him.
To give any advances to join his harem less possibility (yes, she was aware, of how aroused the little pig was when they visited the bathing house in the nearest town), she left at the earliest possible time. The town that housed the Bureau wasn't anywhere near, so she had to leg it. Revenge waited for no one, after all. The sooner she re-registered the Clan, the sooner she could start recruiting and finding out, who the attackers were.
The sooner she got her target, the sooner she could start slicing and dicing. All those filthy animals would know their places soon enough!
It wasn't revenge fantasy, if you had the means and will to inflict every last piece of pain on your target, your target's family, and your target's dog you dreamed and planned on, after all. It wasn't psychopathy or any other mental issue either. She checked on her Character Parchment – if they were, it would show up there. She was totally fine!
Getting to the KGB head office in Princely Administrative Clan-Neutral Town of Red Elves’ Directorial Committee took her five days, even when she pushed her Endurance to the limit. Getting into the office and finding the correct administrator was in comparison hard. Naturally, she had to provide her identification papers to the guards in front of the compound, then again to the front desk clerk. There she had to explain, why she was there and what she wanted.
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Finally, the clerk handed her a number and told her to wait in the adjacent hall, where she would called up by the right administrator. The hall had the proper yellowish-beige paint over the wooden walls, with a brownish-beige color on the floor, and uncomfortable white wooden benches. The decoration consisted of a few potted plants and heroic epic paintings of the great deeds of Red Elves. There was even a banner reminding her to be a good Red Elf and dispose of the enemies of Elvenkind. Everything was exactly how a proper official Elven office had to be. Shinead approved. As it was proper, she had to wait.
So she waited.
And waited.
She was the only one in the hall, but it still took half a day to be called up.
“I understand, you want to apply for the leadership of an almost destroyed Clan, right?”
“Yes, I'm the last survivor, and want to continue with the Clan to exact revenge on those un-Elven criminals who disrespected the Domain in such a distasteful way."
The administrator nodded proudly. She obviously approved Shinead’s zeal to be a proper Red Elf.
“All right, in order to register you as the official leader, I will need a confirmation that you are the only ranking survivor, your signed passing exams for the courses on Leadership, Organisation, Accident Prevention, and Causing, Elven Laws, Clan Laws, Bureaucracy, Controlling, In-, Ex- and Crossfiltration, Party Organisation, and Composition, as well as…"
The administrator listed a total of twenty-five courses she would have to pass. Fortunately, she had completed a few of them previously but had to authenticate her certificates at a different administrator. Unfortunately, she had lost those certificates with most of her stuff, so had to apply to another administrator for a copy, so she could go to the second administrator for an authentication.
As it was proper.
The first administrator also listed about a dozen other confirmations, authentications, permits, and certifications she had to collect.
It was good to live in the Domain! Shinead couldn't imagine, how the other species would handle such important things. Without proper parchment trails to follow, what would they do? Simply walk into an office and declare themselves the leaders of their respective organizations. Were they even literate?
At least in the Domain one did not simply walk into an office!
As it was proper.
The courses were not held directly by the KGB Head Office, but by the separate Nevelési, Képzési és Vezetési Divizió in the building next door. There she had to register as a student – for that, she had to go back to the Head Office to get a confirmation, the study is for her appliance for Clan Leadership – and also register for the different courses. Filling out the proper parchment work only took a few hours.
All in all, it took her only two days to wait for the different administrators to fill out the proper parchments. It was amazing, how well-organized and effective Proper Elven Administration was! In only two days Shinead was well on her way to getting started to become the next Clan Leader!
Shinead was proud to be an Elf and live in the best possible country of all the multiverses, the Domain.
Surprisingly, there were only two other students currently enrolled, a middle-aged man, preparing to be the Deputy Clan Leader of a Clan in the South and a KGB administrator for advanced studies. Elves, with their long lifespan and low fertility rates, did not subscribe to mass education, and medium to top level Leaders tended to stay in position for decades or centuries. Not much need for accelerated replacement training.
So, no school arc for you.
Normally, completing a course would take about half a year, with a lesson of one and a half hours each week, but Shinead joined in the middle of the summer semester and was pressed for time. She allocated only a few weeks at most for completing all twenty or so courses to herself! With an Intelligence of 14 it should be doable, right? Right!? Right?! Failure was not an option!
She collected the textbooks and collected information about the expectations. Actually, she only had to pass the exams, not be the best in the class, so even if she just barely passed, she would get the certificates. It still wouldn't look good on her resume, but she would be able to retake the exams at a later date for better notes. After she dealt with the attackers and got her revenge, she would have time for that, but now she just needed to pass.
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