That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:

Interlude 2.3 Noel - That time I was reincarnated into a Holiday Special

Twas the night before Blissmas and all through the suite, not a creature was stirring, save Bonbon A. Petit.

"Hiro-san!" she protested as she stirred the Blissmas gravy. "Get over here and help out! These are your recipes, aren't they?"

Bonbon set the pot on a decorative spoon-holder shaped like a clam, and moved to a cutting board, where she was peeling and chopping potatoes. I nodded, and gave her a thumbs up.

"You're doing great, Bonbon!" I encouraged her, "You can do it, if you just believe in yourself!"

She started saying something to me, but I tuned it out as I turned to watch Wanda, who was busy decorating the Blissmas Tree. I'd wanted to bring some real culture to these Isekai dirtworlders, but was surprised to find out that they actually already knew about Blissmas! I guess it was a holiday that Kamiko must have told them about, because most of their Blissmas carols had to do with her, instead of the real spirit of the holiday: spending lots of money on presents. I'd have to remember to add my name into songs if I ever decided to introduce this Isekai world to the concept of music.

There was still a lot I could teach them, though! Blissmas trees, for example. When I'd arrived, I'd found out that they didn't have any of the classic chrome-and-fiberglass Blissmas Trees, so I'd had to improvise, and wound up cutting down a regular tree, one of those ones that look like a triangle. It was crude, but It'd do in a pinch!

As for the food...

"Hiro-san?" Bonbon sighed, "Are you listening to me?"

I quietly closed my eyes and pretended I'd fallen asleep until she eventually stopped calling my name and had gone back to cooking. That was close! It was true that I was absolutely incredible at cooking. However, while I was an expert at taking credit for the recipes that other people had come up with, improvising on those recipes was my weak point!

For instance, I'd told Bonbon about the classic Blissmas dish of Fried Psuedochicken, but this world didn't have any of the Artificial Chicken that they served at Captain Kenny's Fried Chicken, and I wasn't sure how to make it, either. I guess a regular chicken would work, but it just wasn't the same. Bonbon wanted to know what secret spice blend to use, and a bunch of other specifics, but I couldn't find it in me to instantly and effortlessly solve her problems with my [Skills].

It was worse than I had thought: I just wasn't feeling the Blissmas spirit! I let out a sigh. Something was missing, and I wasn't really sure what it was. Was it just the fact that I was in a different world, and impossibly far from home, separated from my family and loved ones?

I shook my head. It couldn't be that. I had a harem, after all. A harem was like a family you could fuck without getting into legal trouble. I smiled as I looked at the hot busty anime babes that had joined me on my quest.

Bonbon, who was rushing about in the kitchen, simultaneously breading chicken pieces while slicing potatoes into a pot of boiling water and sauteing bacon and about six other things.

Wanda, who had stopped mid-decoration to stare at the brightly-colored lights as they flashed around the tree in strobes of colors, drooling slightly.

"Yo, Hiro-kun," Ciel said as she walked up, holding up two similar-looking tapestries of Kamiko in a Santa outfit. "Which one do ya think we should use?" She held one tapestry up to the wall, holding the other protectively close to her Blissmas sweater, before swapping them out and scrutinizing the other.

"I think this one looks nicer with the color scheme, but the other one is a limited edition print, so I think it's-"

"Ciel..."

"Yeah, you're right. We should hang both of them up. You think the Innkeeper will mind if I get rid of that bookshelf?"

"Ciel," I replied, raising my voice a bit and smiling gently. "Get the fuck out of here."

She stopped, staring at me in shock and confusion. "Huh?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "We haven't even met you yet. You gotta get out of here."

Ciel set both of the Santa Kamiko prints carefully on top of the sofa, then turned to look at me, scratching her head. "Bro... are you feeling alright? We've been traveling together for like, months now."

I shook my head more fervently. "You can't be here. You're just gonna confuse everybody. Go... go get some [Eggnog]."

"E-[Eggnog]?" She frowned. "I've never heard of it."

"I believe in you!" I told her, handing her a bag of gold and shoving her towards the door.

"W-wait, hang on a second, I don't want to miss Ka-"

"You'd better hurry up, then!" I told her, slamming the door in her face.

With that potential disaster of canon settled, I turned and let out another long sigh. I was still no closer to finding out what was missing.

I sat down on the sofa, confiscating the Kamiko prints into my [Dimension Box], in case I needed to sell them or use them in a bribe later. Wanda had apparently finished her 'stare blankly at the lights' break, and was back at work decorating the tree. She hung up a glowing crystal, reaching up to hang it from a higher bough, her [Sexy Santa] DLC outfit clinging to her underbust for dear life to ensure our rating didn't jump higher. This was a holiday special, damn it. We gotta market this to families.

"Wanda," I mused. "What's the true spirit of Blissmas?"

"To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women, wan?"

I shook my head. "No, that's Black Friday. I meant Blissmas itself."

Wanda paused, her tail wagging as she thought about it.

"Hmm... It's a celebration, is it not? Isn't that enough? We could go on and on all day about what represents the true spirit of the season. We could cite religious scripture, if you wish, wan. Perhaps we could deploy a few touching, but ultimately meaningless platitudes about 'family' or 'togetherness' or 'charity'."

She shook her head, holding up the shining bauble in her hand. "But at the end of the day, is it not about the festivities themselves? All this reasoning about 'spirit' is just trying to find a justification, wan. The truth of the matter is that any excuse to eat, drink, and be merry is a welcome one. That society agrees upon this day to show absolute decadence makes me think there might be hope for people yet."

I blinked, my eyes widening, and my heart racing. "Wanda..." I murmured, covering my mouth with my hand. "Y-you..."

I pointed towards her with one shaking hand as a blush started at my chin and slowly filled my entire face like I was a cup being filled with juice, or in this case, blood.

"Y-your tail... w-when you wag it, I can see..."

I gestured to her impractical, but highly marketable fur-trimmed miniskirt, which she had apparently tucked her tail under, then lifted. Our family-friendly rating was in shambles.

"Wan," she sighed, lowering her tail and restoring my ability to think and move freely. "Did you catch any of that, or were you too distracted?"

I had definitely caught plenty of that, but I felt like she was referring to some other kind of that. Did she have some kind of special technique or skill I wasn't aware of, or something?

"Um..."

She sighed again, for some reason, before breaking into a wide smile, her eyes sparkling. "Wan! Fun things are fun!" she barked.

Her wisdom made me reel back, tipping over the back of the couch and falling backwards onto the floor. Was that the secret... was it just about the fun? It seemed like a pretty straightforward answer, but a part of me wasn't sure.

I decided to get a second opinion, and walked into the kitchen.

"Bonbon," I asked. "What's the meaning of Blissmas?"

The elf looked up at me from the deep fryer, her eyes dark and frenzied.

"Cooperation and teamwork" she said, her voice monotone.

I shook my head. "No, I don't think that's it."

She sighed, doing a double-take at the fryer before determining that it was either fine to leave for a bit, or beyond saving. She moved over to the stove, tossing cooked bacon into the pan with the green beans before tossing a handful of almonds into the air. Her knife blurred in a way that I definitely didn't find intimidating, and I decided to casually sweat in solidarity to her hard work.

"Well, it's related to The Divine Brat, right? Kamiko enters her 'Deluxe Santa Kamiko' Forme, and flies across the world, giving presents to good little boys and girls. That's what the sermons say, anyways." She gave me a pointed look. "Shouldn't you know more about that than anyone?"

Hmm... that... seemed a bit off to me. She'd given me a straightforward answer, but somehow it didn't seem to resonate right. Plus, I was pretty sure that wasn't even factually accurate.

"Now, as long as you're standing here, do you mind rolling some bis-"

I walked away, trying to clear my head. I still wasn't in the Blissmas spirit! Maybe I was looking in the wrong places. Maybe I needed to look deep in my heart, or appeal to a higher power. I walked onto the balcony of our suite, looking out over the quiet town below. There had to be a deeper meaning, I thought, as I stared at the snow halating in front of the moon.

I bowed my head and reached out to God, literally, by calling Kamiko on my CODEC.

"Hiro-kun~" She gasped, her voice bright with happiness. "Merry Blissmas!"

"Merry Blissmas," I repeated back, leaning on the railing of the balcony.

"Are you having a happy holiday, Hiro-kun?" my childhood friend asked. I thought about it. Was I having a happy holiday? Bonbon was busy making food, Wanda was finishing up on the decorations... I was rich and powerful, and having more fun than I'd had for the past few years back on Earth. But still. Something was missing.

"It's okay," I told her. "But... I'm still not sure about the meaning of Blissmas. Something is missing."

Kamiko let out a sympathetic noise. "Oh, Hiro-san... I know, um, in Neo-Shinjuku, Blissmas is usually a c-couple's holiday, right? So, um, maybe you, um... well..."

Wait, she had a point... Blissmas in Neo-Shinjuku was mostly for couples, so... in that case...

"Kamiko-san..." I whispered.

"H-huh? Yeah? What is it, Hiro-kun?"

I rubbed the back of my head, not quite sure how to ask. "That is... well..." I took a deep breath. I should just ask. Being direct is the best way, after all!

"Kamiko-san... why are you pretending to be Santa? Isn't that illegal?"

I heard a surprised intake of breath, and the line suddenly went dead. Huh. I looked at the back of my neck in confusion. Well, maybe she had a roast in the oven or something.

I let out a long sigh, my breath fogging in the cold air. I still wasn't any closer to finding out what I was missing. I started to stand up, when I heard the slamming of a door from within the suite.

I turned and saw Ciel, her back pressed against the front door, her cheeks and nose pink from the cold. She had an exhilarated look on her face, and had an object clasped to her chest.

"Hiro-kun, you won't believe it, but I actually found one!"

Huh? They actually had [Eggnog] here? I was a bit disappointed. I'd wanted to invent it myself, but I hadn't found any nog to mix with the eggs yet. I hadn't expected her to find anything. I mostly just wanted her to be offscreen for as long as possible.

"You did?" I asked, walking towards her. "Really?"

She nodded emphatically, flexing a 'cep triumphantly. "Yeah! Check it out!"

She thrust her other arm forward, revealing a large, ovoid egg about the size of a loaf of bread, speckled with green spots. Huh?

"Uh... what's that?"

She grinned a smile. "A Knogg's egg! I had to track down the nest myself, but I managed to sneak one away before the momma Knogg got back."

I shook my head. "That's not..."

Suddenly, an ear-piercing screech shook the room, and I heard an alarm coming from the city outside. Ciel's face fell, and she set the egg on the counter to reach for the mace on her belt. But for me... my heart was racing. From out in the city, there arose such a clatter, I ran to the balcony to see what was the matter.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a giant fucking lizard attacking the town, throwing guards this way and that. My heart was racing as I heard the sounds of sirens and combat fill the air. Instantly, I felt the years melt away. It was just like home.

I bowed my head, smiling, as a single tear traced down my cheek. Outside, the Knogg rampaged through the town, crashing through buildings and breathing jets of acid on the soldiers and adventurers who were assaulting it. Gentle snow framed the scene, casting an otherworldly glow in the air from the various flames and spotlights.

"Alright," I said, drawing my skateboard and katana as my harem joined me on the balcony.

"It's time to spread some Blissmas Cheer!"