《Humans Must Adapt!》Chapter 157: Wonderfully Competent
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Half of the enforcers cordon off the area and keep the onlookers from interfering. The other half cautiously approaches the area. It would be more bothersome if these two died, so I contemplated doing the bare minimum to keep these assholes from bleeding out. Would I be in more trouble if I healed them or if they died on the spot? Dead men can't accuse, after all. My deliberation was unnecessary since an enforcer did the bare minimum to keep them alive in my stead. It's hard to tell enforcers apart. They all wear the same uniforms and protective helmets covering their face, but I feel I've seen this exact enforcer before.
"Sir, I'm going to ask you to drop the weapons and explain what happened here."
The enforcers don't have their weapons drawn, but they are one step away from it. I drop my trophies on the ground and casually put my hands up. I don't put my hands above my head. They are just up.
"Self-defense. Also, that puddle of meat was a victim of this guy over here. I'm sure you can put two and two together."
"...Can you explain how someone of your level can defeat these two on your own?"
Ah, they see my level. Let's play the prodigy card. Let's see if they know who I am.
"I'm not the representative of the human race for nothing."
"..."
"..."
Our wonderful conversation was cut short by the wonder twins waking up. Blue Mask immediately shoots for his sword, but an enforcer stomps on his back and forces him to the ground. A shotgun gets pressed against the back of Blue Mask's head.
"Stay down. You are being detained. Comply."
Red Mask casually sits up, his hands in a similar situation to mine. He doesn't say anything and doesn't resist. He only stares at me. Making eye contact even though I can't see his eyes. He gets escorted away, but he keeps his eyes on me. Blue Mask was dragged into the back of a van. He was cussing and screaming for his sword the entire time. The enforcers took the swords as evidence or something, which is disappointing. My armory is pretty barren.
The familiar enforcer cuts in front of my eyeline and continues the conversation. "I'm going to ask you to come down to the station and give a statement."
"Am I being detained?"
"You can be. At this moment, we cannot determine if it's self-defense or not. Or who instigated what. This seems open and shut, but we have to follow procedures. It'll be easier if you comply."
"I want my lawyer."
"That can be sorted."
"Are you the same enforcer from the vest bombing?"
"You are mistaking me for someone else, sir."
"No, I don't think so."
~
Now that I got an upgraded phone, I can make video calls, and the first one I ever made was for my lawyer in a room inside the enforcer's station. Free Chains wasn't surprised that I needed help again, which bothers me somewhat, but I'm glad he was prepared, at least. I expected him to be my lawyer from my phone, but he's in the capital currently. He joked that he was in town because he was hunting down the money I owed him for reviewing a contract for me, but the joke didn't distract me from him avoiding the question or the hint of desperation. I figured it wasn't a good time to push him, so I waited for my Silvestris lawyer to arrive.
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They took my sword but let me keep everything that wasn't perceived as a weapon. Good thing they don't know that my arm is a gun, or else they'd take that too. A captain, Free Chains, and an old lawyer-looking fellow enter the room. The old guy looks at me for a second before waiting outside. The captain is a well-groomed man who looks like a younger man aged from his job. Free Chains is still a feline theriomorph, so basically a cat man.
"I'd like some privacy with my client."
"Sure, this is a formality anyway."
The captain leaves and closes the door behind him.
"Who was that old guy?"
"Some bigshot lawyer, but that's not pertinent right now. What's the story?"
"I was walking down the street, and I heard someone shout his name right before I heard a scream. A person was turned into meat. On their way out, they destroyed a few phones and stopped when they saw my gi. I used a skill to see their levels, and they somehow detected that. They attacked me before I ever put up a fight. I didn't even touch one, technically. There should be videos."
"Good. Write something up. Sign it, and we are good. By the way, they might hold you to get a witness statement regardless."
"A 'formality,' huh? How much do I owe?"
"I'll waive the fee if you can do me a favor."
"I don't like the sound of this, Free Chains. Are you trying to get one over on me?"
"No, not really. We can talk in a bit, but I'm having some difficulties with the current 'life' I'm on."
Free Chain handed the paper to the captain. The body language of the captain makes me furrow my brows. He holds himself like there's a problem and there is nothing he can do to fix it. He wistfully takes the paper and barely looks it over before putting it away. The other lawyer is talking to the captain, and it looks like the captain is having none of his shit but can't do anything about it.
I got up to leave as well since there was nothing left for me, but the old lawyer man stopped me as I exited the room. The captain took this opportunity to bail, leaving me with the two lawyers.
"Mister. Please, can I have an opportunity to apologize on behalf of the Ken family?" His voice carries a joyful, charismatic tone.
"My name is Kendal Ken, and this is my new sword, Crushing Tiger."
"Pardon?"
"That is what I heard the man in the blue mask yell out before murdering a passerby in public. He was so brutally destroyed that it is impossible without magic to determine who they were before they attack."
"Yes, but did you see the attack with your own eyes?" He bites back with a hint of arrogance bleeding through his voice. This entire time he is smiling, but his eyes are dead.
"I saw them attack me with my own eyes."
"Did you do anything to instigate the fight?"
"Did your mom abandon you as a child because you asked too many questions? What do you want?"
The fake positivity disappears as he hands me a stack of paper. Free Chains takes it before I can look at it and reads it over as the man continues to speak.
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"It would be in your best interest to sign this agreement."
"Kid, this is a magic contract stating that you wouldn't be able to sue the Ken clan or talk ill about them. In perpetuity. It's hidden in a bunch of jargon. There is even a thing here about having to apologize! What the hell is this shit?"
"I must insist that you sign and ignore the planetary refugee pretending to be a learned man. You wouldn't like the consequences that come with ignoring me."
I look at the guy like he's stupid. He takes obvious offense.
"A no-name like you would crumble under the weight of our-"
"But I'm not a no-name. You don't know who I am, and I don't care about who you are. But now I'm going to sue the shit out of your 'family.' Even if I don't win, the publicity isn't something your family would appreciate."
"Bluffs will get you nowhere."
"Maybe. Good thing I'm not bluffing."
I walk away from the lawyer, who is still defiantly standing there. Free Chains follows after me after pocketing the contract. I'm pissed. I hate being talked down to. I want to do something I'll regret. Free Chains walks me out of the building and presumably to his car.
"Can we actually sue them?"
"Yes. I've even done it for you before! We've sued the enforcer department back in Bluefield. They settled, and I got the money as per our agreement."
"How much did they pay out."
"A hundred grand. But that's not important. The hard part will be getting a summons to reach 'Kendall Ken,' as you put it. You can't sue someone if the proper channels can't reach them. The other option would be handing it to him personally. I can handle everything, but we really should have a conversation."
Right in front of the station is a white limousine. I wouldn't think much of it, but the vehicle has a sword on display on its hood. Not only is that pretentious as shit, but it's also a driving hazard. Am I being set up? It doesn't take a genius to understand who owns that car.
"Give me a moment, Free Chains." He did not give me a moment and instead followed me.
I go up to the limousine and knock on the window. If the lawyer of the Kens was here and the captain seemed defeated, then I can only imagine that the wonderfully competent enforcers have released these menaces. The fact that the lawyer was here so fast is concerning. If they haven't driven off, they must be waiting for something. The window scrolls down, and I spot three individuals in the back. Blue, Red, and a new one, Yellow. It looks like Blue Mask and Red Mask got their swords back.
"Are you here the apologize, peasant?" Blue Mask spoke to me as he rolled the window down.
"Did you get color-coded at birth, or did you pick for yourself?"
"Who is this rude man?" Says the ambiguous voice in yellow.
"So, why aren't you two in prison?"
"Is this foreplay before the big event? I'll answer that question with another one. Who do you think our father is? Oh! I'll say another one. Did you see anyone kill anybody? Maybe that person's body just turned into mush."
I'm done with these people. The attitudes, the sequence of events, and the audacity of that lawyer make my emotions boil under my skin. I could let it go. Let this random powerful family forget about me and I, them. But I don't want to. Even if it's easier to submit, I'll bite the shoes that try to tread on me instead of licking them.
"How do you feel about civil lawsuits?"
"That reminds me, I'll have to look into suing the city for the trauma I endured from the rough handling of the enforcers."
"Ahem. I, Free Chains, on behalf of my client Ellis Vincere have declared a civil lawsuit against one 'Kendall Ken' of the Ken clan. I do this on the authority of a [Lawspeaker]. May Ibere keep order ordered and the law lawful."
All three masked figures stare at the Silvestris. I can feel the tension rising, and so can Free Chains. They seem to know something I don't since they seem unreasonably pissed. Free Chains makes an executive decision and retreats, pulling me along with him.
"What was that?"
"I served them."
"I thought that required paperwork and a court with a summons?"
"Did you hear me? I used my authority. I can't go around throwing it, but I might as well. Use it or lose it, if you know what I mean."
"So what does that entail?"
"Officially, everything is peachy. The only issue is that if it's deemed that the civil lawsuit never had a case, to begin with, then the case would be retroactively dismantled, and I'd have my authority as a [Lawspeaker] questioned. Losing that would mean I wouldn't be a [Lawspeaker] anymore."
We arrive at his car. It's small and old but well-maintained since the paint job looks fresh. Inside is cluttered with paper and random nicknacks. I decided to take the free ride from Free Chains. I sit down and put my seatbelt on, not that I need it.
"You seem to be putting yourself out on a limb here. What task do you have for me that you couldn't tell me before? Word of warning, I'm still heated."
"I need a loan."
"Why? Don't [Lawspeaker]s get paid well? How much money do you think I have?"
"I'm sure that the representative of the human race has some capital."
"Still doesn't answer my first question. Don't beat around the bush."
"Remember how I told you about my species' culture circulating different lives and how I'm on my fifth? Some bad stuff from my past cropped up, and I need credits. Truth be told, I got really screwed from the money to credit shift. Most of my funds were from my online law firm, but that went kablooey. Most of my money is in things I can't liquidate."
"..."
He starts the car and leaves the parking lot. I tell him to drive me to the nearest auction house before continuing my questioning. I still need to buy some metal...
"How much money are you talking about?"
"I need over one hundred million."
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