《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Bonus Quest: One, Two, Three, Four
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Matt watched the setting sun from the balcony of the Belching Flame—an inn in Shulan reputed for its immaculate service. Fire crackled in the hearth behind him while the voices of his Party made enough noise to have the police called. Matt chuckled.
The air was getting colder every day. Specks of snow spotted the Shulan rooftops while the catgirls below tried to hawk expensive jewelry to window shoppers. Nyarlea was celebrating their annual Starbirth Celebration, which meant Christmas was right around the corner. Christmas already… Leaning on his forearms, Matt sighed.
Keke appeared beside him. “Why don’t you join us inside?”
“Gotcha, bitch!” Ravyn’s bellowing echoed outside. “Who’s the boss now?”
“Squawwwk! Lick the boot, squawwwk!” Ball Gag cried.
“This game is not yet over, Ravyn,” Came Ceres’ resolute reply.
“I’m not very good at this, am I?” Cannoli whimpered.
Matt turned his head toward Keke, glancing over his shoulder at the girls playing cards inside. His gaze returned to the peddlers in the market square. “I’ll be there in a little bit.”
Keke leaned against his shoulder. “What’s bothering you, Matt?” She smelled like pine and lavender. “It’s the first day of our vacation. We should all be enjoying it. You included.”
He paused. If he were back on Earth, he’d be spending Christmas—hell, all of December—alone. Commercials, marketing material, family and friends, all of them spun the same narrative: that he should be spending it with someone he loved.
And every time, he’d fabricate some story about how his girlfriend broke up with him at the last minute or how he preferred to stay inside during the holidays to avoid that dreaded question at family gatherings. The truth was, he’d never managed to hold on to a girl longer than a couple months.
Now, here he was, in a world filled to the brim with catgirls. Every man’s dream. And still, he couldn’t call any of one them ‘his.’ The realization left him feeling bitter, angry, and—worst of all—detached.
The most wonderful time of the year, my ass. “I think I just need some time to myself,” Matt said. Standing there didn’t seem to be doing him any favors. “I’m gonna go take a walk. Got a lot on my mind.”
“I know we’ve dealt with a lot this year, but we’re all here for you,” Keke said, smiling.
“Thanks, Keke.” Matt turned around and went back inside, Keke following close behind.
“About time you came back. Sit your ass down,” Ravyn said, pointing at the ground. The Party had gathered in a circle, cards strewn across the floor. “These two don’t know how to bluff for shit.”
“Bad poker faces, eh?” Matt said, chuckling.
“Is that another rule?” Cannoli asked, tapping her cards against her forehead. “Goodness, there are so many rules. I’m never going to understand this game.”
“You undermine your abilities,” Ceres said.
“Maybe later,” Matt said, gesturing behind him. “I’m heading out for a bit.”
Ravyn raised a brow. “If you say so. Watch those fucking kittens. They’ll rob you for all you’re worth.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t have my [Cat Pack] on me.” Matt pointed at the bed’s side table. “It’s in there. Don’t let it walk away.”
Ravyn grunted and turned back to her cards.
“Travel safely, Sir Matt!” Ceres called.
Matt offered a casual salute as he left.
“Mou ii. What’s wrong with him now?” Ravyn asked, sighing. He’d been out of it all damn day. Who was upset during the Starbirth Celebration? Let alone their overdue vacation.
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“I’m sure he’ll be alright,” Keke said as she sat down cross-legged. “Hey, where are my cards?”
“You looked busy,” Cannoli said from behind her cards.
“You left to go console the boy, so we took the liberty of distributing your cards among the active remaining players,” Ravyn added.
“The game can continue anew,” Ceres said, nodding.
“Actually.” Ravyn tapped her cards against her lips as she looked up at the ceiling in thought. “I have an idea for how we can cheer him up.”
“I admit, that sounds devious coming from you,” Ceres replied.
Ravyn gawked, and Cannoli giggled.
“What are you plotting?” Keke said, frowning.
“Have you ever heard of Christmas?” Ravyn asked. The others shook their heads. “In Matt’s old world, women dress up in sexy outfits to encourage the men to work extra hard during that time of the year.”
The girls blinked.
“You’re not serious, are you?” Keke asked.
“Kuso! Of course I’m serious!” Ravyn set her cards on the floor, then raised one finger to the ceiling as if she were teaching a course on the subject. “On Earth, the women would wear red and white outfits, hoping to alleviate the stress of the overworked men.”
“If that’s the case, then what does Christmas even celebrate?” Keke asked. “Women?”
Ravyn didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she put a finger to her lips and wracked her memory for Finn’s explanation. It seemed it had been too long. “I have no idea.”
“D-Do you think it would help Matt feel better? I don’t like seeing him upset,” said Cannoli.
Ceres bowed her head, her hand across her chest. “Nay. Neither do I,” Ceres said. “I will do everything in my power to assist. Sir Matt deserves a respite.” She rose to her feet. “What would you have me do?”
Ravyn’s eyes drew into half-slits, and a salacious smile stretched the corners of her lips. “I know a few places.”
“A-Are you sure about this, Ravyn?” Cannoli asked, pinching a red skirt that left little to the imagination. “This is s-so short.”
“Oh, sweetheart, not that one,” said Ravyn, grabbing Cannoli by her shoulders and turning her around. Ravyn plucked a skirt somehow shorter than the last. “Now this is a skirt. And yes, I’m sure.”
Cannoli blushed and buried her face in her hands. A series of high-pitched noises came out of her mouth, none of them coherent.
“How splendid!” Ceres cheered, her eyes alit with wonder. They practically sparkled in the firelight of the store. “Cannoli, cast away your timidity and embrace the spirit of Christmas!”
“Do you even know what those words mean?” Keke asked, standing behind her. In her hands was a single ribbon of scarlet dangling to the floor on either side.
“Mou ii. Did you pick something out or not?” Ravyn said, rolling her eyes.
Keke paused. A hint of pink colored her face. “Yes.” Whipping the ribbon over her shoulder, she revealed the hanger underneath, holding it up so the others could see. A short red dress highlighting a tight hourglass shape. The fluffy white fur Ravyn had spoken so highly of lined the top and bottom hems. Hung across Keke’s arm was a pair of black nylon thigh-highs to complete the ensemble.
“You have better taste than I thought,” Ravyn said.
“Thanks for the backhanded compliment,” Keke said, grimacing.
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“Yes! Yes, yes! That is sure to brighten Matt’s mood!” Ceres said, her hands clasped together.
“I think we should have him pick his favorite,” Ravyn said. All eyes locked on her. “You know, make a little contest out of it.”
Ravyn had expected opposition. To her surprise, all three appeared thoughtful.
“Do…men like that sort of thing?” Keke asked, the blush in her cheeks growing deeper by the second.
“Absolutely. They held beauty contests all the time on Earth. Women would stand on stage while the men picked their favorites.” Ravyn nodded to herself as if she could see it right in front of her. Finn had commented more than once that she would champion a swimsuit contest. “It’s an extremely popular pastime on Earth.”
Ceres grinned, a determined glint in her eye. “A contest of champions, you say?”
I don’t think she’s getting the point. “Sure.”
Keke looked at the dress across her arm, then nodded. “All right. Let’s do it.”
Suddenly, Cannoli turned around to hide her outfit. “I’m going to win,” Cannoli said. “I know Matt will pick me.”
“Nay. It is I who fights by Sir Matt’s side most often.” Ceres looked up, smiling. “Men love a woman who fights beside them.”
“I met him first,” Keke said with obvious irritation in her voice. “There’s nothing like your first.”
“What does that even mean?” Cannoli whined.
“Kittens, all of you. I know what makes a man tick,” Ravyn said.
Keke furrowed her brow as a cocky grin split her lips. “We’ll see about that.”
The girls turned on their heels and walked away in opposing directions.
Matt paused as the tips of his fingers brushed against the doorknob. It’d been a few hours, and they’d need to figure out dinner soon. His appetite was shot, but he had no doubt the girls were just as hungry as they always were. They were having fun, so why wasn’t he?
Come on, man. Lighten up. You’re on vacation.
“Okay, I can do this,” Matt said, gripping the door handle.
As the door swung open, his eyes widened. Three silhouettes stood by the balcony, their backs turned to him. As he stepped into the room, the door shut behind him, and two hands covered his eyes, steeping his world in black.
“Kekeke, you’re in our domain now, boy.” Ravyn laughed behind him. “No peeking. Not yet.”
“O-Okay? When can I look?” Matt asked.
“When I say so. Now close your eyes.”
The sensation around his eyes lifted, and he kept his eyes shut. The wood beneath his feet squeaked as Ravyn walked away, her—he supposed—heels clicking against the floor with each step.
“You may open your eyes now,” Ravyn said.
Four figures stood before him with their backs still turned.
The hell?
“D-D-Do you like b-b-beauty contests?” Cannoli called. “Because tonight, we’re p-putting on a show for you!”
“Sir Matt, I hope you gaze upon me with favor,” Ceres said to Cannoli’s right. “I knew not the importance of beauty contests. Particularly for Christmas.”
For Christmas? What did she mean by that?
“Please enjoy,” came Keke’s mutter.
Starting at one end of the line was Cannoli. She spun on her heel, barely catching her footing when she faced him. Her cheeks were a concerning shade of red.
“First up! The p-princess of the north! Cannoli of the—the uhm… the north!” White velvet covered her arms and torso, dipping around her collarbone and just off of her shoulders. The hem stopped right above her knees, where Matt’s eyes caught the next best thing—her stockings. Even at a few feet away, he could make out the silver snowflake patterns on her legs. Cannoli balled her hands and tilted her wrists forward like a cat, then bent her knees slightly. “N-N-Nyah!” The golden bell hanging from her choker jingled.
Mother of God.
“Still your beating heart!” Ceres, the second in line, announced as she turned around. Her outfit was anything but modest. A single red ribbon wound around her legs and hips, just barely covering between her thighs and touching her abdomen, before crossing her bust in an explosive bow. Her ivory skin poked through the wide gaps in the bow, and she leaned on the balls of her feet.
That’s some intense underboob. “Ceres…are you alright?”
She grinned. “I am the spirit of Christmas!” Her ears and tails twitched as a breeze hissed through the balcony’s window. “Though I am quite cold.”
“Next is the huntress of your heart!” Keke twirled on her short leather boots, posing with her two fingers in a v-shape over her right eye, her elbow out to the side. She clenched her jaw. “That sounded better in my head.” Her dress was strapless, red velvet hugging her curves and finishing in downy white feathers at her chest and thighs. A few inches of smooth skin peeked out from in between the black thigh highs and her dress. A red bow adorned her left ear, and a tiny red bell jingled around her tail.
Saoirse be praised.
“Saving the best for last is a lady who needs no introduction,” Ravyn said smoothly, turning expertly in her dangerously high heels.
Keke snickered behind her hand.
“Quiet, huntress,” Ravyn snapped. She recovered her smile before continuing, “As I was saying, here is the true spirit of Christmas.” Her red dress featured a sweetheart neckline, clinging to her ample chest with one halter-style strap. A black belt hugged her waist, and the skirt swirled just above her thigh-high boots. She wore a red and white hat over her ears that appeared eerily similar to Santa’s cap.
Hell, maybe Santa is real after all. “Guys, you didn’t have to do this.” Matt found himself smiling despite his assurances.
“We wanted to help you feel more at home,” Cannoli said.
“Yes. Your Christmas holiday is quite fascinating,” Ceres added, adjusting some of the bow slipping away from her chest.
“And you’re the judge of our fashion show!” Keke announced. She spread her arms wide in a flourish that nearly knocked her off balance.
“Yeah. So choose. Which one’s your favorite?” Ravyn asked, resting one hand on her hip.
Matt rubbed the back of his neck, eyeing each of the girls. He felt his face growing warm with the pressure and a few other thoughts. “I don’t know if I can pick.”
“Of course you can,” Ravyn snapped. “C’mon, boy. Before Ceres catches a cold.”
He laughed, then nodded. “Fine. If I had to choose, I think I’d go with—”

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