He left stuff behind;

He left ugly notes and sheened shadows behind;

He crumbled the love-stained tissues

and tossed them off as "garbage";

He left me, us behind:

That's it.

I screamed in this never-ending pain;

I wanted him as my burning oxygen;

I wanted to break this damned floor

and see oxygen gushing out of it and into my lungs;

I wanted to see us as the colors of the fading sunset again;

But we remained as each other's broken mistakes and regrets—

burning lamps of stormy evenings.

And I'm not becoming any of these tonight.

It's just me tonight.

No more tight dresses, high heels;

No more vampire lips or cat eyeliners.

It's just me this purple night:

Flowing laughter, swelling violin,

Rustling foliage of murmurs carved on gray stones.

Just the blue sky, the warmth of foggy windows,

Comfy bed and loud pop songs.

No more you, no more them—

No more us.

Throw these damned flowers out of the window;

Burn those thoughts that have chased the sleep away;

No more convincing, no more crying, no more screaming.

Just keep his memories intact, for life values memories—

not looking back.

Let's shut this world for a while,

Breathe a little deeper,

Spin around in exuberance,

and be the same "crazy" myself again.