The young guard, Kovu, looked barely older than me, yet the gun at his hip was real as any other. He lifted a strange machine— like the scanners they used but smaller— and pointed it straight at me. My heart beat an unsteady rhythm, so loud I feared everyone would hear it and understand exactly what I was. I closed my eyes, waiting for him to tell the Kaptain I was unlettered, for them to shoot me right here and now. At least we'll be together soon, Yaneli.

Instead, a small beep sounded on the machine, and the guard lowered it. "Done, sir."

My eyes popped open and I barely managed to choke back a hysterical laugh. Done, sir. With two words and a beep, the thing I'd spent my whole life trying to hide, was gone.

I'd finally found the one place I didn't have to hide: The Letter Trials.

"Take three steps back," The Kaptain said to Dagger and I. His voice held a disappointed edge, like he'd been cheated out of a reaction. I almost wanted to tell him how close I was to falling apart. Dagger and I both took three steps back.

"Any fighting and I pull rations and whip two of you at random." The Kaptain said to the room of sulking men. Then he turned to me, running his eyes over my body and smiled, "And watch out for the Alpha Killer."

Dagger didn't react, but I flinched, hating the satisfaction my reaction brought to the Kaptain's eyes. Alpha Killer: it was a term they used when someone was given all the kills in the Arena.

Me.

"Now turn around and face the wall."

I turned obediently, but Dagger stayed facing the door. It slammed on us regardless.

Without a backward glance, Dagger walked to the furthest possible corner of the room. The two men there moved at once, and he sat down, crossed his arms over his chest, and closed his eyes. I could feel the weight of the eyes of the other men, so I forced myself to move as well, to the opposite side of the room, and sat against an empty section of the wall. The closest man to me rocked back and forth, arms wrapped around his knees, with a bald head covered in more vibrant tattoos than I'd ever seen. As I settled, he turned to me, stuck out a forked tongue between two missing front teeth and hissed.

I flinched, ready to fight, but he closed his eyes and went back to rocking.

Alright then...

The weight of the other men's gazes bored into me as the silence stretched out. Instead of acknowledging them, I took stock of my arm. It was worse than I'd feared. I'd landed on it when I'd jumped into the Arena, and only now did I realize I'd left my pinkie finger jammed into the wall socket in the pit. The loss of the finger hurt in a way the loss of my fake letter hadn't. It was a part of me in a way my fake letter never had been. Yaneli had pressed it into my hand just before—

No. Don't think about that.

I leaned up against the wall, then began repairs as slowly and methodically as I could. Each step I spoke aloud in my head. Now, tighten the auxiliary bolt, can't let that fall out. You'll want to take out all the circuits and double check them. I refused to think about Yaneli or Xyla or the men in the pit, because if I did, I would fall apart. I was nothing but a cold, empty machine following commands, and machines didn't feel pain or heartache or regret. The cold raised the hairs on my flesh arm but I fought the temptation to curl into a tight ball. Machines didn't get cold. Machines just followed instructions. I sat straight backed and cross legged, and kept my eyes only on my arm, determined to talk to no one. To merely sit silently and repair and not cause problems.

My plan lasted about ten minutes.

"Hey beautiful, what'd you do to that one? He looks like he needs another round with you. Wouldn't mind one myself." The man with the black mane and tattoos smiled at me from across the room. Dagger's eyes were closed, leaning back against the wall in a way that he made look comfortable and yet I knew couldn't be. When Dagger made no reaction, the men grew bolder.

"So, how many times did you have to screw him so that he spared you in the Alpha Kill?"

My fingers paused in my repairs. Of course they assumed Dagger had made the Alpha Kill and protected me; anyone would, looking at the two of us. I undid my middle finger, the knife, and set it on my leg, where it reflected the weak light of the lone bulb. I refused to glance up at the small window set into the door, to see if any guards were watching. Something told me even if they were, they wouldn't help me.

"All skin and bones," one of the men said. "Not enough curves for my taste."

"Your taste! How many girls you tasted?" The skull-tattooed man's laughter made the room feel even colder.

And then the man with the thin fingers and eerie eyes spoke: "I bet she's some kind of spy the guards sent in—trying to get an edge for the betting pools. Maybe if we rough her up a bit she'll talk."

I shifted the blade to my hand, clutching it so tight it hurt. A deep fear grew in my stomach.

But it wasn't one of the hecklers who made the first move.

Dagger opened his eyes and stood up. The conversation stopped, every eye turning to him.

The soft slap-slap-slap of his footsteps filled the room. Fear burned down my throat; was he here to help the other men? To take his revenge? It only took ten steps for him to reach me. Then he opened his hand, and something thin and metal fell to the ground, bouncing twice and rolling to rest against my leg.

I picked up my pinkie finger, staring at it and then him in disbelief.

"You left it in the Pit."

He'd found it in the socket... Did he know that I'd saved him? Did he know that I also killed him?

He stared down at me, but whatever lay beyond those dark eyes, I could read nothing.

"Thank you." I folded my flesh hand around my finger. It was warm, like he'd been clutching it tight.

The conversations elsewhere had died. The tattooed man looked back and forth between Dagger and I, as if trying to figure out if we were allies or enemies. I wish I knew. Was the finger a thank you for saving him, or a promise to pay back what I'd done? Could it be both?

Dagger turned and walked back across the room. Before he went back to his spot, he paused in front of the tattooed man.

"It wasn't me who made the Alpha kill. It was her."

No one bothered me after that.