9.5

“Hmm…”

John had a hand underneath his chin, his face deep in thought as he tried to evaluate the long sword in front of him. It had an enchanted jewel for its bezel, an albeit small one that doesn’t stand out much but provides a good enough buff that would make one less prone to combat lethargy.

It was the day before Moxnet’s orientation month comes to a close, John was currently in a weaponsmith’s shop located in the capital of Dezarith Empire, Registoria, where all weapons from the hero’s party were produced. John was currently here with all his friends from the hero’s party to purchase a few weapons in preparation for the upcoming event that academy had planned for all the students when they return from their one week break.

“It’s just…” he raised a finger and retracted it. “Even with the enchantment imbued in it, carrying this around is a hassle.”

John reached to grab the sword that was sitting on the wall shelf, wrapped his hands by the grip, then slowly lowered the weapon with his arm and pointed the blade at the ground.

The sword made a small clang as its edge bounced against the marble floor. Despite John’s arm being bent a good deal inwards the sword was far still too long for his stature.

“Sigh… I knew it, it’s too long. The grip is good, but yeah…not for me,” he shook his head dejectedly. Most of the long swords here either had overly flamboyant designs or their length did not fit his height at all.

What’s wrong with the flamboyant long swords? In the first place, he was never the type of person who never liked attention or garner awe from others, it was more of his style to maintain a low profile, so he wanted a weapon that could match his private personality.

Along with his growing notoriety as an associate to the hero Scywell Shatterstep, John certainly did not need any more prying eyes on his back.

“Guess I’ll go to where the short swords are, their section doesn’t look too bad either,” he consoled himself for not finding an appropriate weapon, it was a pity since he was thinking of wielding a longer sword.

Using different weapon types had never been a problem for him, if anything, he knew the basic moves for all the commonly used melee weapons, it was just a preference of his to go for single handed double-edged weapons like the bastard sword, long sword, short sword, and daggers alike.

But ever since his encounter with the shapeshifter in Kershent Village, John felt that the usual short swords that he carried around him did not have the length he desired. So, here he was seeking for a lengthier replacement.

I wonder if there is a weapon that changes form according to the wielder’s thoughts, that would be so useful.

His feet eventually brought him to his destination, and just like the previous section, the place where short swords were displayed had each of the metallic blades arranged according to their function.

John’s eyes darted to the various weapons, especially towards those that had a clean, non-reflective coating to their blade polish. He stopped observing when he saw Angeline who already purchased something looking in his direction.

John instantly averted his eyes from her, though she had not done anything to make him feel uncomfortable, just thinking about how Angeline has a strong romantic attraction towards him reminded him of Ephinelyth who broke her promise.

It has been a week since the day that Ephinelyth promised to return to Moxnet, the orientation month was nearing its end, and by tomorrow’s late evening, John would be back in Parac Village with the Harvests.

His heart jumped at the thought of the Harvests, a full month passed since he left for the academy, but to John, being rescued from freezing to death by the Harvests and them accepting him as a part of their family felt just like yesterday.

Let alone directly asking him about what caused him to be left for dead in Reperane Woods, the Harvests had went the extra mile and made up a story that he was their distant relative just to help him blend in with the outside world.

He was truly, truly grateful for having such understanding people as a part of his family.

Maybe, I’ll tell them what exactly happened to me, and everything about A’vetheas when I get back…

And unlike a certain Elder Dragon who had not kept her promises, John was intent on seeing this through, the Harvests deserved to know his origins.

“Having a crisis here aren’t we?” Angeline suddenly appeared from his back. “I was right to come here.”

“A-Angeline!?” John stuttered from his concentration broken.

“Aww, you’ve been day-dreaming again? You’ve been doing that a lot recently, not only that, you’ve been joining us more on our activities, guess Randolph was right, the fallout between you and the red-haired tanned skin girl…”

Not wanting to elaborate on what happened, since Angeline’s memories of Ephinelyth was now replaced by Sheila, John quickky to shifted his eye to the nearest short sword that caught his eye, it was a magical sword, the type that allowed non magic users to use the blade as though they had magic themselves through the usage of mana rocks.

“Ahhh, look at this one!” John quickly spoke to shift the topic at hand “I wonder if I should pick a magic weapon? I never really used these but what if the imbued magic runs out, then this flaming sword would just be a fragile sword.”

A large pout formed on Angeline’s cheeks when John ignored her previous sentence but she quickly dismissed that expression of hers and moved to where John was.

“We still have no information on where the academy would hold the event. Since it is a test of sorts from the way they posted the riddle, there is also a good chance that we won’t be allowed bring magical tools.”

John’s smile faded when he heard Angeline’s explanation, he was not particularly bothered by it, yet loneliness filled his heart when he was reminded that the dragon girl had abandoned him.

Despite that, John kept his expression neutral, “Hmm… If magical weapons are not allowed, do you know if any swords here have [Eternal Edge] and [Indestructible] spells enchanted on them? Because I have been looking for them but haven’t seen a single weapon with those.”

“[Eternal Edge] and [Indestructible]!? John, are you sure you’ve got those spells right?”

Angeline almost shouted at him for mentioning the standard spells that were applied on all weapons in A’vetheas before they were even considered suitable good to be sold. His dagger back in A’vetheas had those spells imbued in it, those spells were also why he became somewhat proficient in fighting with shorter weapons. When one is wielding a blade that never dulled nor broke, it allowed the user to go into combat with full confidence that their weapon will handle their fighting skill.

“Are those not the bar for good weapons?” John asked as he reached his hand to grab the longest sword he could find in this section of the short sword section. He lifted the weapon above his head, then lowered it as to feel its weight.

“If we are talking about the Emperor’s weapon, then it is.” Angeline retorted sarcastically. “The nobles wouldn’t pay for swords with such high tiered spells simply because of how costly it is to have such magic imbued in the material itself.”

“Is that so…”

Elves really are something else huh? Their weapons are a world above the outside world’s…

“Yes, John. No one would go that far for just a weapon, if it breaks, it will be reforged into a much stronger one.”

“I suppose that’s true…” he nodded at her words, then gestured for Angeline to come to his side with his chin. “This is labeled a short sword, but the length, it’s more like an arming sword than your traditional sword short. It must have been misplaced by the staff or something, arming swords should not be in this section.” John had his eyes on the weapon, his was inspecting it from various angles to ensure that it has a good build. “Hmm… I am sure this has a large mythril composition, but I can’t really figure out what they imbued to it. Mind helping me, Angeline?”

“Of course.” Angeline replied and pulled out a small monocle from her bag and gave the sword a good look. “[Greater Sharpness], [Lesser Strength Amplification], [Lesser Stamina Regeneration], these are not bad at all… Oh wow, it even has [Resistance] and [Environmental Adapt]!”

The first three spells were familiar to John, they functioned as what their names implied, nothing too significant, but from Angeline’s voice, the other two spells were enough reason for him to buy this mythril sword, he had heard of them in the past, but could not quite recall what they did.

“Mind telling me what the other two spells do? I don’t think I know them too well.”

“[Resistance] multiplies the amount of force you use when you use your blade against something, it also makes your weapon five times more durable. [Environmental Adapt] helps with the metal to maintain its function harsh environments, good to have on a sword but not as useful as it sounds.”

“This arming sword…”

John glanced at the sword. It’s design was sleek, it had a straight edge that strongly resembled the swords used by knights of old. No doubt it would deliver powerful slashes and thrusts. But the thing is, he was not quite sure if he would be doing a disservice to himself for suddenly using a longer blade in combat from his usual fighting style.

“I should get this? Or—”

Before he could even suggest looking at the other swords, Angeline declared, “Get it, weapons imbued with [Resistance] cost a pretty coin, this arming sword costs only twenty gold! I can help you pay if you still hesitate about—”

“I’ll get it, I’ll get it. Calm down, Angeline, I’ll pay with my own coin,” he hushed her before she rambled on.

Angeline puffed her cheeks once more at John. “You really have been weirder recently. You know about [Eternal Edge] and [Indestructible], but when a weapon that has [Resistance] imbued to it, you have no idea what it is.”

“Can’t blame me for not knowing everything, Miss Angeline-who-entered-the-invetor’s-department-at-a-young-age.”

Angeline let out a laugh, “Ahahaha, even your teasing doesn’t make as much sense as they do recently.”

John rolled his eyes at her, “No shit, it’s because I have been around you guys for the whole week, of course it gets predictable.”

“That’s not what I meant…” Angeline’s face became soft and looked at John with concern. “I am asking if you are alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You know, I don’t see you around that other girl recently, you know, that tanned skinned girl who gave you the letter on the first day of professor peter’s class. A-and you give off this seriousness when you are alone from us, I was wondering if anything bad happened?”

“…”

“I know what I said about pursuing you, I don’t intend to stop that. This is by no means me capitalizing on what happened. But I need to know if you are fine.”

John became quiet, his heart pounded loudly, but he hardened his face, he was unsure whether Angeline was the right person to confide into.

With her memory of Evie replaced by that Sheila girl. What am I going to say? That a person who has untold powers used her telekinetic powers and altered everyone’s memories of her replacing them with some stranger?

The jaw to his oval face clenched. What the Elder Dragon had done went against everything each and every word she said to him, what she stood for, it was blasphemous, hypocritical, and impossible. But such was the reality he lived in, one where Ephinelyth had not left a single message to him about her permanent departure from Moxnet Academy.

Despite his fragmented memories of his life prior to A’vetheas, John had never been one to manipulate the emotions of others—aside from harmless jokes and teasing, of course—since people were thinking and feeling creatures just like he was, he believed that most people should be upfront when it came to relationships. If any problems were to arise, both parties should speak up and settle their issues then and there, it was a strong policy of his to keep things clear and straightforward.

And for Ephinelyth to just trample onto what his beliefs were and toyed with his heart… His heart slowly became tainted with a bitter emotion.

And now, a flicker of that rage he felt when A’vetheas denounced his taboo reignited within him.

Afterall, trust, loyalty, kindness, and honor, they only exist in the fictional realm. His blood parents did not provide him that, his ominous dreams were just more proof of that, and if they did, John would have clear memories of it—which he unfortunately lacked.

After purchasing the mythril sword that Angeline recommended, John had accompanied the hero’s party to Registoria’s central bank, depositing some the allowance he gotten from being a scholarship student.

They even visited the survivors from Kershent Village at one of Registoria’s refuge centers and made sure the victims had properly settled in the homes that the empire provided.

Night came before he knew it, however, the void in his heart remained.

“There is no God.”

John’s lone voice echoed throughout his room as he stared at the nightly scenery. His voice was not that of a non-believer, rather he stated it as a matter of fact. It was what he truly came to the conclusion.

“If there was one, how would a someone belonging to the Elder Dragon race, could come to break their promises that they’ve made? Are they not noble creatures? Do they not honor their bonds?”

The world he lived followed a logic that was no longer familiar to him, what he believed so far had turned upside down when they were put into test. It still made no sense to John that Ephinelyth attempted to cut all contact with him, the unreasonable train of thought was as identical as how the elves treated him after he saved their precious Elven Princess.

John raised his empty palm and stared, “The reward of bold heroism, is exile. The act of opening one’s heart, is reciprocated with dismissal. Is there anything that I can believe in anymore?” his voice was fragile, as though something became amiss from him the moment Ephinelyth decided to void her promise with him.

He took a deep breath, and held it in.

To live in this world is akin to eternal damnation…

John shook his head, it made no sense, none of it made sense to him. Yet, it was his experience so far, he tried his best to rebuild his life independent from the life he had in A’vetheas, but with each setback, he was reminded of what could go wrong the next moment.

W-what if something were to happen to… John paused himself before the thoughts took hold of him.

This empty sensation he felt, the numbness in his limbs, the growing fear that sapped all of his heart’s strength, though Ephinelyth’s broken promise did not hurt him as much as his banishment from A’vetheas, John’s heartstrings still tore whenever he reminded himself of what she did to him.

John did not know what to do next, was he to just move on and acted like nothing happened? Only to repeat the same process when he tried his hands at romantic love once more?

Getting rejected by Raina on his day of exile was tough, it shattered his heart, it took him months thereafter until he realized that she no longer felt anything to him. Having experienced it the second time with Evie, to be tossed aside without another word since that day, John thought his heart was strong enough for it…

And he most certainly was not going to use Angeline as a rebound for his heartaches. Sure, he liked her a great deal, but the fact that Angeline had to constantly follow the hero’s party on their missions meant that he was in no position to rid her of that.

All of it felt though his life had a clear destination to reach but there was no available path for him to move forward.

Has life always been like this?

Undoubtedly, he was someone who was easily bored and had entertained various thoughts in his own mind, yet, now with the flaws of his own life laid bare in front of him, he had no choice but to accept that he was someone that failed in building lasting relationships with others.

Be it platonic or romantic, John was someone who utterly failed at maintaining them.

His body became heavy, his stomach tossed as he felt his strength leaving him. The familiar sensation of dread returned to him, one that rendered him physically immobile, paralyzed by his very own thoughts, John stared blankly at the ceiling above him.

This dreadful sensation was now stronger than he last experienced it, stronger when all of A’vetheas saw him as no more than a demon, stronger since Raina looked at him with her cold eyes… And now, he was abandoned by Ephinelyth whom he thought shared the same perspective in life...

All of a sudden, the sensation of a pike piercing at him grew in his forehead, shocking him out of his dreadful thoughts.

“Agggghh!!!” he screamed as he moved his palms to his head, but there was nothing on his forehead that caused the pain.

Why is this happening?

Unable to rid the growing pain in his head, John hurled his torso onto his bed, banging his body against the growing pain in order to rid it.

“Grrrkkk!!” he growled as he grit his teeth like a rabid animal, his hands were already on his face as he used every ounce of his will to cast his magic, “[Heal]!”

The pain stopped.

But it came back and assaulted his mind in much, much more intense then it first did, his vision started flashing red as the sensation pulsated in his forehead. The muscles to his face contorted, sweat poured like rivers from his pores, bits of foam formed by his lips as he resisted the sensation, at this rate, having an actual pike piercing his actual skull might be more tolerable than the phantom pain that he was experiencing.

“[Heal]! [Heal]! [Heal]!”

He kept using his magic on his body as he writhed in pain. While he struggled against the waves of pain, his bed clothes became drenched in sweat, the temperature to his body skyrocketed, John felt though he was going to explode from just the pain alone.

“Stopppppp… Pleaseeeee!!!” he begged as [Heal] did nothing to alleviate the pain in his forehead.

John can’t call for help. No one would hear him since he turned the soundproofing barrier to his living quarters on the moment he returned. Originally, he wanted sometime to himself, but…

“Arghhhhhhhh!!! [Heal]! Please! [Heal]!”

Just as the waves of blue aura from his hands were about to make contact with his forehead, they bounced off him.

Even his magic rejected him.

“I-is t-this…divine…punishment..!?”

John tossed his body on the bed, his head spun as he trashed his arms on the mattress just to find a way to keep the pain from driving him made. His breathing became heavy, his eyes teared, drool even dripped from his lips, and he could not do a thing about it.

A-am I going to d-die? J-just because I t-talked crap about Gods?

It was a ridiculous thought. If beings such as Gods, Elder Dragons, and Demons had such power, throwing his life down into a deep spiral then abruptly ending it was something the last thing that should do. The world has so much more problems and they chose to mess with someone as insignificat as he was?

He croaked and made a declaration while he endured the pain that made his eyes red, “I-if… a-any of you exists... G-go do something else with your…u-useless lives! F-fuck all of y-you for n-never allowing a-anything good h-happen to…me!”

No matter what he said, the growing pain in his head persisted and continued its torment against him.

Eventually, the sensation caused him to curl himself into a ball and hugged his legs, he could not take it any longer, the unending pain that plagued him was too much.

[Heal] failed him. Just like everything in his life, it came and go as they pleased, leaving him in the dust.

He lived short life, one where he did everything without regrets, one where he gave his all for the people who he lived with. Now, in his final moments, he was all alone, forgotten, and deep in pain.

John could not remember a time where he did things for himself.

For all his life, he had followed down a path that was set for him. He wondered, to what end had he been doing living an aimless life. For what purpose was living in this world, what truly was, the purpose of this life of his?

He could not answer these questions as his body failed him. The sensation to his limbs numbed.

It’s just like that time with Raina… But now, I am dying for real… Without a purpose, without a lived life… And all because I failed at yet another relationship.

He felt it in his bones, his will fractured the moment Ephinelyth failed to uphold her promise to him. And the longer time passed from then, the larger the fissures in his mind grew.

There was nothing in life that was worth pursuing, he tried, but like always he failed. What chance does he have when [Heal] could not stop it?

He did not want to go.

“…what are you doing giving up on life! I thought…”

In his death bed, John started hallucinating, he was beginning to hear a voice that he never heard off reprimanding him as his conscious fade.

…

“[Rebirth].”

…

A second in eternity passed, two, three…

Woosh!

The very next moment, flames burst forth from where John’s stiff body had collapsed, the torrent of flames enveloped him and started to wrap him, enveloping each and every inch of his body as though he was a caterpillar forming a cocoon around himself.

One would imagine a fire that came from nowhere, said fire would immolate everything within its surroundings, given the aptitude that was required to produce such magic from thin air. Yet, these fires were different, they responded to John, latched themselves onto him and caressed him…

And instead of turning his body into charcoal, his life force began to flow back into him, his vigor restored, his body stabilized, and the pain in his forehead was no more.

Gasp!

John’s breath returned to him, his heart returned to its usual rhythm as the fires that wrapped around him abated as sudden as it came.

What happened…? One moment I was dying from heartache, and the next…I am fine?

He was no longer certain about anything.