Summer and I don't go to the party with the guys.

Why?

Because we're far too exhausted to even think about it, and we know next weeks party is gonna be even bigger than this weeks one, specifically because it was the very last game for them.

And we were mentally preparing ourselves for that party because we knew it would be, well, freaking exhausting.

And since everyone knew Karsen and I were dating now, I was not ready to be out of the house, and I didn't want to step into the shoes of an extrovert just because I was dating an extrovert, so I was instead snuggled in a blanket on Summers couch while she was on the other couch, legs crossed and popcorn on her lap.

She was very into the movie we were watching.

I on the other hand, was not.

I was thinking about my mother, and partially Karsen.

My mom asked me to come home after the game so we could talk. So I sent her a text saying i'd be staying with Summer and I put my phone off after that because I knew she'd try to phone me to convince me to talk to her but I was not ready for that.

Life was moving too fast for me.

Too. Fucking. Fast.

"Are you okay?" Summer asks me, and I look over at her, realizing the movie was on pause and she was staring at me, looking worried, and she'd probably been staring at me for sometime to have noticed how lost in thought I actually was.

I swallow before I smile. "Yeah I am, just thinking." I knew I couldn't lie and say I was fine just tired, because I already used that one in the car and well I was awake right now so...

"About?" Summer asks, unconsciously leaning closer.

"Everything, all at once, is that weird?"

She smiles a small smile, "No, its not."

Knowing I wasn't going insane was more comforting than I expected. "Sometimes I wish I could turn off my thoughts for a moment." I say honestly, for once letting the words out and it helps me for some reason when she nods, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I don't.

She can tell even if I don't speak.

She nods again. "Theres no shame in speaking to someone, even if its a professional."

"I've spoken to a professional once, I'm not sure it had any benefits."

"Try another, find your pick, you have your whole life to try to feel better Adrienne, you should you know, try." She tries to urge me, "Plus, you deserve to be happy more than some of the time."

Summer was speaking to me like she knew more than i've told her about. As if she knew I needed the encouragement.

"Did Karsen say anything?" I ask her.

And she smiles, "Not much, don't worry, but he worries about you a lot, like how you're doing especially, so I figured its private but I understand life can be a lot sometimes."

I nod in understanding. Of course he worries. He gets anxious and so he worries. I almost feel bad but I try not to hold the burden of that. That was one thing my old therapist taught me.

So, huh... maybe she did teach me something beneficial.

Summer puts the movie on again for us, eating her popcorn and I smile a small smile.

Summer is a good friend. And I was lucky to have someone like her in my life.

===

I had no idea I had fallen asleep. Till I was being woken up.

"Its for you Adrienne." Summer says softly, tapping my leg and I blink repeatedly, looking up, rubbing my eyes before I sit and see Karsen, hands in his pockets and he smiles at me gently, his dimples deepening slowly the longer he looks at me.

He's here.

I look at Summer and I nod, pushing the blanket off of me and we walk to the bathroom, or well I walk to the bathroom and hope he is following me.

I go to wash my face with cold water since I was still kind of tired and I knew that would wake me up, but he closes the door behind him, and locks it as I wash my face and I keep quiet till he speaks.

"Im sorry I didn't get back earlier."

I look at him in the mirror, shaking my head. "I didn't mind."

"I know, but we were talking before the guys... you know."

I bite the inner part of my cheek, not replying as I play with my wet fingers. I was kind of nervous. Because the last thing I said was I love you.

He clears his throat and I wipe my hands on the towel hanging beside the basin, looking back at him. "It was just a thou-"

"I want to know if you really meant it." He interjects, just before looking at my face as if he was analyzing me and I almost shy away.

I just had one of Summers loose crop tops on and a loose black shorts of hers, it was hot, and it was only us here anyway.

Now being alone locked in a bathroom with Karsen after I admitted I was in love with him hours ago, these clothes could be a little, compromising, for the both of us.

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it." I say softly but he can hear me. And he knows its true. I'd never say something like that if I didn't mean it.

He walks closer to me and I blink, not wanting to move because even if I was nervous as to what was going to happen now, I wanted to hear what he had to say.

"You love me?" He asks me softly, and I feel my cheeks redden, my head tipping back to accommodate his height since he was so damn close to me.

I feel a dryness in my throat grow.

I nod and his lips tilt up. "Say it."

I want to hide away from him because suddenly I'm embarrassed and shy and I can't point out how this feeling of butterflies attacking each other in my stomach makes me feel but its well, a lot.

"Come on Krist." I practically whine, and he leans down, his hands moving to the sink behind me and he cocks his head to the side because I'm trapped between him and a sink and he knows he can get it out of me again, "Just say the words Addy."

"Why?" I push.

"I want to hear you tell me you love me." He says honestly, and even though it surprises me, it kind of... turns me on too, "Please."

"I love you Karsen, I really-"

I don't get to finish the sentence because his mouth is on mine, and I almost gasp at the suddenness of the kiss.

My hands move to his face, cradling it between my hands, and my lips move against his, soft and demanding and as if theres too much space between us he picks me up, setting me down on the basin edge and my hands slip up and into his hair, my legs wrapping around his waist and I pull him closer to me, deepening the kiss.

And I can hardly breathe between how fast we start kissing again but I don't want to stop.

He picks me up, and I yelp, my grip tightening around his neck, and he smiles, moving his face away from mine and I give him a look because I know what he wanted.

"We are so not doing it in here Krist." I tell him quickly, kissing him softly after because he frowns, "But-"

"No." I say, the finality clear in my voice and he rolls his pretty eyes at me, setting me down to my feet and I push his hair back, "Im too exhausted, and Im sure you are too, so come on, let's go sleep."

He hums, kissing my lips softly again, "Okay."

===

Karsen is a very deep sleeper. Deeper than I am. And for some reason he doesn't notice sounds near him, Karsen doesn't hear me toss and turn in bed, as I think, always thinking. I get tired of thinking. I need a switch.

I wish I had a switch.

I fall asleep sometime between tossing and turning, when Karsen wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him, so close that I feel stray hairs of his against my cheek. And I don't mind.

He hides his face in my neck and for some reason shielding him away from the world amidst his slumber makes me fall asleep.

And in the morning, around 7am, when I get up to go to the bathroom because my bladder can't handle how much water i'd drank the night before, he wakes up, and I smile at him because my heavy sleeping boyfriend only woke up when I was no longer in the same bed as him.

He now rubs his eyes, and yawns loudly, and I sit down on the edge of the bed, a glass of water in hand since I took a stop at Summers kitchen after the bathroom.

And I ignored that Chance's shirt was on the floor... and so was Summers.

But thankfully they were not in the living room or kitchen, they were probably asleep in her bed after their, activities.

"I think I need help."

He blinks.

And we're quiet for a moment. Because well, what do you say back to that statement immediately?

He licks over his lips, definitely thinking of the right words before he says it, "Help how?"

"I think I need medication again, or to see a psychologist or something because I'm just... i'm not as happy as I should be Karsen."

He stares at me but he still looks... confused, "You're not happy?"

I shake my head, and I explain, "Im happy with you Karsen but, thats it, only with you, Im not happy otherwise and little things, a lot of things, they affect me and it shouldn't be this hard being human, it just, it shouldn't."

I think he finally gets it because his eyes soften when he nods. "I get that, I'd let you see my mom but-"

"Oh yeah no." I say immediately because seeing my boyfriends mom as my psychologist would be too awkward for me personally.

He grins so widely his eyes smile back at me and I know its because he knows I'm happy right now. Right here.

I smile too just before my phone rings on the night stand beside him, and he looks away, picking my phone up and when he hands it to me, with the name, mom, on it in big white letters.

I cringe, shaking my head and he raises a brow, phone still in his hands, "I must let it ring?"

"Yes."

"But... it's your mom calling Addy."

"I'll call her back okay." I say, drinking my water and he shakes his head, putting my phone down. "Whatever you want."