“Report.”

“That's what I came here to do. Try to look authoritative somewhere else. In front of a mirror or Nixa. That's what I do. Gyahahaha!”

“I tried that, but she just looked sad. That's no situation for Quircy Rau! I receive reports, give orders, accept honors. That sort of thing.”

“Here's one for you, then. Ahem.” Santa C. Dorenz unrolled a long scroll before tossing it away and picking up a tablet. “That's a contractual obligation for Santas. Double ahem. Exploring insists it has mapped every game reachable from Opuwa. At present, that means right now, Convergence/Divergence controls or maintains treaties with Legendary War Chronicles and Calamity Online, Afterschool Hunters, Prince of Advancement, Automatic Adventures, Endless Disco, Fields of Steam, the most able captains come from there you know, and Gold and Dynamite.

“Furious Galaxy claims as its infernal 'sphere of influence' the following: Project Contrails, naturally, Alloy Saga, Slaughter Pandora Mobile, Styleful Happy!! To the Live, Let's Do It With a Racket!, Climax Net, Radiant Illusion Country, Modern Incidence Record, and Dinosaur Rumble.

“Also at present, that continues to mean now, don't know why they say it like that, the sole remaining unaffiliated properties are card games like Deck World because there's nobody to sign anything there, Lament Epoch because nobody wants them around depressing everyone, lowering morale, just no good, and Universe Testament.”

Quircy Rau looked around at her ministers, Metatron, and representatives from other games such as Paradise the Enchant's very own Higgins of Fort Fondue. She looked around some more, and a bit after that, before she threw up her hands in both the literal and figurative senses. “Fine! I'll take the lead and ask the dumb questions. What's up with Universe Testament, and where are all the other games, like G******* F******, G****** I*****, and G*** C*** G**? There are probably ones that start with other letters, but I can't think of any. Start with the first question if you would, Gaelvry.”

“We sent a diplomatic team there. They couldn't find anyone to talk to. We did some research after that setback, and here's what we found. Universe Testament is a revival of a series of strategy games that wasn't unpopular back on the PC-88 and PC-98. In fact, they've never admitted it, but it's widely suspected the developers of Furious Galaxy were inspired by it. The old games even had an emperor called the Fifth Eminence. Well, they don't have any reason to come down to the ground because it's all space battles in there, and it seems like they don't trade with other games, either. Dungeon Express Re:Development tried once. It turned out the cultural gap was unbridgeable. The seller mentioned tier lists, and the UTs asked what kind of weirdo thing that was.” She shrugged.

“Good summary. Here's a present from me.”

“Thank you.” Gaelvry tucked the monogrammed handkerchief into her bouquet.

“Hey! That's mine!”

“You can fight her for it later, Alvin. Who wants to talk about the second thing? Planning?”

“We did assume responsibility for the issue for a moment,” Gintus Pelluina said. “Before we dropped it when we realized we had absolutely no idea where all the other games are. Betting men and smart men would both say the Gacha Core knows, but also that it would never tell us. Above? The other side of whatever that place under Opuwa was? Beside us, imperceptible, made from a strange form of matter?”

“Hm. It's cooler if they're above us.”

“You look serious when you say that, but are you?” Gintus asked Eten, whose deep frown and chin-stroking presented an intellectual scene worthy of immortalization in marble.

“We can't get to them anyway right now. We might as well think about something fun.”

“I can't defeat a man who understands philosophy so deeply as that.”

“I don't think you should try to defeat me, Gintus Pelluina. We're allies. Now suppose those games are up high. We know our Angels can't reach them. Neither can the Brave Cumulus, even though it can get past the clouds. Did you know the complaint ceiling goes vertical sometimes? It forms a cube around games. Quircy Rau found that out.”

“I also found out what turbulence was.” Quircy began looking intellectual herself. “I'd only heard the term before.”

“Oh, is that why the meeting is held here while they hose down the Brave Cumulus? And would anyone like another cookie?”

“Yes to both, Princess Asuza. Thank you.” Eten ate his cookie intellectually as well, with a view toward minimizing crumb pollution of the pristine Styleful Happy!! The Battle castle base. “But that doesn't mean Universe Testament can't do something up there. Doesn't mean it can either, but . . .”

“Well, Furious Galaxy sure thinks so. That's why they're planning to attack it today. Say, could you turn a little bit this way? The light would be better. I want a picture for this article I'm working on about how the council is blind to the common man's problems. No, don't open your eyes, that's the whole point! Don't you know anything?”

Quircy Rau jumped out of her chair but sat down again, hoping nobody had noticed. Hope is wonderful. “Lasva? Did you just drop a gigaton bomb right in the middle of the meeting? Accidentally? I know you don't have a flair for the dramatic. It's one of your most charming points.”

“You can't butter me up, Tyrant Quircy. This gal came out of the baby factory with non-stick coating.”

“I don't think that stops . . .” Exploring's Clint of Spinach City trailed off after Higgins tapped him on the shoulder and shook his head, as did several ministers.

“Good to know. Let's talk about something that happened between then and now. Apparently, you heard something about Furious Galaxy's plans and didn't tell me. I'm used to that. There's a lot of insubordination around here. My people keep ducking out to secret tennis assignations and covert cyberpunk conventions. The slayers are grumbling about how I'm 'not Eclipse enough' too, and some of them are conspiring to call for an election to replace me. They're all wrong to think I don't know but right to think I can't stop them, and 'fifty-fifty's good enough in this empire.' Speaking of which. Who wants to support a motion to change our motto?”

“Nobody” competed with “Not a soul” as the most popular answer. Quircy Rau allowed the issue to drop and prodded Lasva to return to the main topic.

“Stop prodding me! That's my writing arm. Don't prod the other one, either. That's my holding things arm, and what this reporter holds is the truth.”

“It must be heavy. Let me share your burden.”

“You're still prodding me. Look, I heard from reliable sources that the highest echelons of Furious Galaxy are planning to assemble as many battleships and carriers as they can, march them over to Universe Testament, and persuade them to see things their way.”

“What are these sources?”

“Not a chance.”

“Eten, I hate to say it, but I think we need to find someone else to cover the sessions where we'll go over the plans for that base we want to build in the forests of western Perandra Regna, you know, argue, compromise, make all kinds of corrupt deals where contractors skimp on material quality . . .”

“Gary Whitecrest and diGriz send ideas for confidence schemes back and forth all the time, and that same diGriz is head of their equivalent of Exploring. He asked if we knew how to fly over the clouds. When Whitecrest told him no, he wrote back and said Universe Testament looked to be their best chance after all. Skay Pact Elizonas is part of this mail ring where they do chess problems, and he confirmed Angelina Segretti warned them her next response might be late because she'd be busy leading the biggest fleet Furious Galaxy had ever formed.”

“They just tell everyone this information? I thought they were more restrained than that. The uniforms threw me off.” Quircy Rau shrugged. “The myth of competence has been dispelled, so let's go beat them up.”

The ministers and representatives cheered, and Alvin tucked away the petition to recall Quircy Rau which Slay Every Dragon had entrusted to his discretion. After Princess Azusa took away the plates, Quircy stood and gave the order. “Chew first, then swallow, then cheer, then run forth to do my bidding!”

“What's the magic word?” Inorrea Vacationer asked.

“RAINS OF ENZET!”

“That's a phrase.”

“Magical though, is it not? How did you manage to charge your Nova? Have these meetings become a battle for you, and every argument you make a blow? To see a class change from Warper to Manager happen before my very eyes is a privilege I am proud to claim.” Gintus Pelluina bowed, smirking. The smirk itself did not prove his insincerity, as that was a permanent feature of his face as far as anyone there had seen, but further evidence supported that conclusion. For instance, the absence of rain and damage numbers led some to suspect Quircy Rau had not in fact filled her Skill Star and unleashed her ultimate ability. As another clue, she started punching Lasva, since the prodding had been insufficient in severity for Nova gain.

“Ow! This dopey dictator's getting violent!”

“Nah, she genuinely wants to show you why she thinks those are the magic words. That's just courtesy where we're from.”

“Zimley Boe! A question! Shouldn't she be punching Inorrea then? She's the one who wanted to know what the magic word is.”

Quircy halted mid-swing. “You're right. Too late, though. My Star's ready. Who wants to feel the magic?”