'Things aren't always what they seem to be'

"When are you going to tell me what's going on?" Anna asks before shoving more Chinese into her mouth.

"I've told you a thousand times now that nothing is going on," I reach for my glass of wine.

She rolls her eyes. "I know something is up...did anything happen with Tyson?"

"No."

"Then what happened?"

I sigh, knowing that she won't drop this. I can't tell her about the gun or The Lost Souls, so I decide on something I can tell her. "I told my parents about the abortion."

She puts her fork back down in her dish. "How did they take it?"

"They were so supportive."

"I'm really proud of you Bella, this is such a big step for you," she squeezes my hand.

"Thank you, it's starting to feel easier."

"Is that why you aren't seeing Tyson?"

"I'll see him tomorrow night, I just wanted to be with my parents and catch up with you," it was half the truth. It's not that I'm purposely avoiding him, I just found everything so intense that I needed some time for myself. I know that it would be destroying Tyson, but he has been very understanding.

"Okay good, because he has really brought you back to life."

I can't help but smile at this. Even though we have been surrounded with stress and danger, Anna is right. I would still choose this life with Tyson in a heartbeat, over the sadness I couldn't escape from.

Anna is about to say something else when our doorbell rings. She gives me a frown, one that I return. "I told Lincoln not to come tonight," she says as she heads for the door.

Part of me has a sinking feeling it's Ace, even though he promised he would leave me out of that life; but could I really trust the word of someone I don't know?

"What are you doing here?" Anna says with way too much attitude.

"Who is it?" I call in a panic, as I quickly head for the door. I round the wall to see Nora and a worried Chantelle on the other side.

"Can I come in?" Chantelle asks.

"Why?" Anna shoots back aggressively.

"I just want to talk to Bella...please," she looks to me.

"Okay," I say eventually, and Chantelle gives me a small smile. Anna on the other hand gives me a look that says 'are you out of your mind?' Possibly, I think.

"You better make this quick," Anna says as they both come in.

"Actually, I was hoping to talk to you alone," Chantelle says looking to me again.

I give Anna a nod who sighs loudly. "Come on Nora," she says as she heads into the kitchen.

Chantelle and I move to the couch. She sits cautiously, no longer are we comfortable in each other's presence. She almost feels like a stranger now, sad when I really think about it; and all the memories we have shared. "I wanted to personally thank you for saving me the night-" She can't seem to finish.

I give her a sad smile. "I would never let something terrible happen to you, no matter what." It was the truth, but I also didn't want to hang out like we would before she betrayed me.

"I have never felt so helpless...it made me realise what a true person you are. I wanted to apologise for hurting you and ruining our friendship."

My lips purse together and I must show doubt on my face because Chantelle keeps going. "I'm not here to ask for your forgiveness either, or to plead for your friendship- no matter how much I miss you. I came to say sorry sincerely, and to explain to you why I told Tyson."

I give her a confused look. "You had a reason?"

"It doesn't at all justify what I did, but I want you to know-" She inhales a deep breath, and her eyes look away from me. "I had an abortion," she says painfully. "I'm not even sure who the dad was- I didn't really think it would affect me, but it didn't take long until I started to hate myself."

She has a few tears falling from her eyes as mine start to sting, I know exactly how she feels.

"Everything I said to you, I really was saying to myself. When I saw that Tyson was into you, something inside me just snapped. It was like, how could you be loved and I couldn't- I know that's ridiculous, and I hate myself even more for telling him when it was your choice whether you wanted to share."

"I'm so sorry Chan..."

"I pushed away the one person that could help me, the one person who understood what I was going through. I really am so sorry Bella."

As I look into her sorrow filled eyes, the same look that I would see in my own reflection; I did feel a connection with her.

"I do forgive you."

"Bella- I don't need you to say that out of pity..."

The truth is, between everything I have been through lately, this seems like not that big of a deal anymore. "I'm not saying things will go back to normal or ever be exactly the same, but I do forgive you."

She nods with a sad smile. "When will I stop hating myself?"

"When you forgive yourself."

"Have you?" She asks.

"I'm getting there," I smile.

Nora and Anna come join us, and for just one night; things almost feel normal. I couldn't tell if I would ever trust Chantelle again, but I did understand her now. Loving yourself is one of the hardest battles to face and like with any battle; doing it alone is almost a suicide mission.