That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:

Dungeon 1.37 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and entered my first dungeon

"W-what?!" Bonbon demanded, looking at me in panic. "I-I didn't kill them! They were like that when we got here."

"Oh, yeah, of course," I replied, giving her a knowing wink. "They were like this the whole time."

Bonbon blanched, shaking her head fervently. "No, I- I mean, I've been with you the entire time. How could I have done that?"

She did have a bit of a point, but I could think of at least 10 ways I could have killed the guards without leaving the group, so there was a good chance that at least one of them could apply to her. Still, as I looked at her mild panic, I wondered if maybe she was telling the truth. If she hadn't killed them... then who did?

I unholstered my board and tossed it down, hopping onto it and rocketing down the hill. I'd have to make sure to investigate this scene carefully. I started to use [Learn Skill Instantly] to learn [Detective Basics], but then I realized that my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] would probably be more useful. I went ahead and learned the skill anyways though, out of principle.

Wanda and Bonbon came following down the hill, the former leaping from rock to rock, and the latter sliding carefully down, using her apron as a sled.

"If Bonbon isn't the killer... then who is?" I asked rhetorically. I folded my hands behind my back and started to pace with a certain childlike glee. I was about to Detective Conan this shit wide open with the help of my skills. I'd always wanted to solve a locked room mystery, and that dungeon was probably locked before the door had been blasted open.

"I think if we examine all the facts-"

"Kun, kun," Wanda onomatopoeia'd, making an exaggerated sniffing gesture as she smelled the air. She hesitated, giving one last definitive sniff before turning to me, her usual mirth and batshit-genki energy gone for an instant.

"Demons," she announced, fixing me with a grave look. My hand involuntarily clenched on the magnifying glass that came with my [Detective Basics] skill, shattering it instantly and losing the deposit. I couldn't believe it! Wanda was stealing my thunder?!

"P-perhaps," I said, trying my best to save face. "But we don't know for certain. A lot of things smell like demons, after all."

Wanda narrowed her eyes, her tail wagging angrily as she put her hands on her hips like a sassy child. Apparently, I'd offended her by doubting her [Dog Smell] or [Smell Like Dog], whichever one it was.

"Oh yeah?" she challenged, "Name one."

"No," I replied, turning and pacing back into what I was going to say before. "Anyways, it may appear that Demons are responsible for this carnage, but only when we have all of the facts can we dis-"

"This sword... it's from the [Demon Lord]'s army," Bonbon interrupted, gesturing to a sword sticking out of the top of the dismembered guard's head. She pointed one tiny elf finger at the green-and white logo, depicting a flat-color demon girl with giant horns coming out of the side of her head. It made me want [Coffee] for some reason, but besides that...

I took a deep breath and turned back to the crime scene, mentally docking Bonbon a point for upstaging me. "You bring up a sapient point," I said wisely, "It definitely would appear that Demons are responsible. However... sometimes you can't judge a book by its stripes."

Bonbon frowned. "I... I'm not certain if that's the right turn of phrase."

I ignored her as I went to check the body closest to the dungeon door. Of course books had stripes. What else would those black lines on the pages be if not stripes. As I got closer to the man, he stirred suddenly! He was alive!

"Nnngh..." he moaned, before coughing up blood. I quickly dodge-rolled out of the way to avoid the spray of bloody mist, then dodge-rolled back after letting my stamina regenerate for a second.

"You're okay now," I lied in a hush, gently patting him on the head because I didn't know any First Aid. "Tell me... what happened here?"

The man towards me, his eyes wavering and unfocused. Sweat beaded his forehead and several liters of blood beaded his chest.

"It... it was..." he gasped, choking. "The... D... Dem....nngh..."

He collapsed, the life fading from his eyes. Damn it... I stood up, frustrated by my own powerlessness, and by whatever cruel monster had done something so monstrous as kill a handful of nondescript guards.

"Kuso!" I swore, my fist shaking. My fury was swelling more than my emotional maturity could handle. I would have my vengeance, for the pure, innocent life of this random NPC. Whatever mysterious, unknowable force did this would perish by my hand! I stared up at the doors to the dungeon, unzipping my katana decisively.

"Wanda... Bonbon... whoever did this..."

"The Demons?"

"WHOEVER did this... I'm going to make sure they pay." I turned to face the two of them, my face grim, and drawn in a much more realistic, muted-color shot with intense shadows.

"If we go in there... we'll probably have to kill someone. Are you prepared for that?"

I stared at the two women before me, waiting for their reply. Wanda was the first, giving a slow nod.

"Wan!" she began, "In this world where free will is but a myth, where the course of the future is wrought in an unyielding cage that binds us, there can be nothing resembling 'morality' or 'greater truth'. There is no purpose to life but to live, to experience, and to bask in the qualia that is our short, sweet existence. If there exists such a thing as 'sin', surely the greatest sin would be to willingly end the life of another, to deny them their own experiences."

Wanda fixed me with a steely gaze and shook her head. "But I have never claimed to be anything but a sinner, wan!" she said quietly.

I quickly brought my gaze back to Wanda, pretending that I'd been paying attention to her, instead of staring at Bonbon's butt as she did pre-murder calisthenics.

"Uh..."

"Wan! I love killing, Wan!" she replied cheerily. I let out half a sigh of relief, glad that I'd have her having my back. The left half of the sigh, though, I held onto, because Bonbon still hadn't given me an answer. I looked at her.

She looked back at me, holding a stern expression that trembled slightly from anxiety, or perhaps barely-contained bloodlust. I still wasn't sure that she hadn't killed these guys, after all.

"I already told you," she replied stiffly. "I'll do whatever it takes. I may not have ever killed before, but when I left on my own, I always knew it was a possibility. Not... every road is safe."

I nodded, turning back to the dungeon's entrance.

"Alright, then..." I said, grinning a smile of fierce determination. "Let's mosey on out."

**********

Several commercials and splash screens later, we had entered the dungeon at large. The pungent stench of mildew emanated from the wet dungeon walls. The low stone ceiling and the brick hallways closed around us as we advanced, swallowing whole the light from outside. We had walked willingly into the tomb, but the stone itself seemed to fester with a malign intelligence, and I knew we would not so willingly be allowed our escape. I walked past the sign which read 'Suggested Party Level: Lvl 2", my blade tense and ready.

I bet that this dungeon was gonna be super chock full of enemies, and have lots and lots of monsters. This was... gonna be really dangerous! Who knew what kind of threats we might run into. As if on cue, 1d4 [Green Slimes] and 1d3 [Basic Bitch Skeletons] oozed out of the cracks in the dungeon walls, letting out a surprised gasp from one of us, who I won't name to protect my dignity. The monsters took up turn-based battle positions, and I gripped my weapon tighter. Looks like it was time for our first real battle as a team!

"Alright, Bonbon!" I shouted. "These guys are all you! Show me what you've got!"

Bonbon flinched and turned to give me a look that said 'are you shitting me?' before seeing that I was fully unshat. She turned and stared at the various enemies, drawing her cast-iron skillet in one hand, and her knife in the other.

"O-okay!"

She brought her frying pan up and at the ready, holding her knife backhanded in a defensive position.

"ORDER UP!" she shouted, charging into the fray.