《That One Isekai》Scroll 19: That time I was resurrected into another world and invented pizza
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That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not:
Scroll 19: That time I was resurrected into another world and invented pizza
The hot busty anime babe cook looked up at me with sparkling eyes, eager to see more of my culinary expertise, which I organically sourced from the hard work of tons of other people.
"Well, hmm..." I mused. What kind of food should I make? Ah! Of course!
"How about pizza?" I suggested. Pizza was pretty delicious, but also really easy to make. More importantly, using western food would let me test the waters on how they'd enjoy the superior Earth cuisine in general before I introduced the vastly superior Japanese Cuisine. If a well-done steak was enough to make somebody turn into a mecha, who knows what ramen might do to them.
Wanda's ears perked up at the mention of some new kind of food, but not as much as the ears of the hot busty anime babe cook. I did a textbook double-take as I realized her ears were long and pointy. I nervously activated my [Calculator] Cell Phone Artes and measured the length of her ears. Pointy ears could mean one of two things, but if they were too short, that might mean she was a d-d-d-demon!
I took a look at the readings. 0.35 cubits. Phew! I instantly felt a surge of both relief and fantasy-moe. She was an elf! A real, bona-fide, kick-ass isekai world litRPG busty anime babe elf.
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"Wow, an elf..." I whispered to my dog-girl slave as she cast magic to create a small vial of pills of some kind, "I guess I really am in a fantasy world, huh?"
"Wow! What's a peekza?" the elf-chan asked, her eyes glimmering like a handful of sapphires being flushed down a toilet.
I chuckled to myself, shaking my head. "It's a wondrous invention that... I made up. It's a type of food. Crispy, cheesy, and delicious. I can teach you how to make it."
The elf-chan pulled out a notepad and nodded. I struck a pose so that she could sketch me, before realizing that she probably wanted to record the recipe down on paper. I held the pose anyways, but continued.
"The first thing we will need is pizza dough," I explained, "It's like bread dough, but more pizza-like."
The elf-chan furrowed her brow, as if deep in thought, then nodded suddenly, before holding her hands out as if she were charging a [Flaming Energy Ball].
"I think I got it," she said, before closing her eyes and focusing, activating some kind of skill. Suddenly, a flash of light appeared in between her hands, and expanded to become a ball of pizza dough, which she immediately plopped onto the counter.
My eyes bulged out of my sockets in surprise. She had somehow created food from nothing?! What an overpowered ability! I had the [Create Food] spell, but my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] skill had told me that [Create Food] can only create bad-tasting food, and what's more, she hadn't activated any magic Skills. Then... how?
The elf-chan caught my disbelief and grinned a smile. "I have a unique Culinary Arte!" she explained, "It's a one-of-a-kind Culinary Arte called [Short Order Chef]. Six-and-a-half times per day, I can make any food that I can think of!"
"Sugoi..." I said quietly. "That's an amazing skill! I bet that's the sort of thing that makes you super respected as a cook." I silently activated [Instantly Learn Skill], and learned [Short Order Chef]!
ERROR:
CANNOT ACQUIRE ARTES USING THIS SKILL
Please purchase using Skill Points or Gold Stars (Purchase more Gold Stars from our cash shop!)
...
What the hell?! That's bullshit! What kind of twisted world was this if I had to spend resources or put in effort in order to acquire a unique, extremely-powerful ability? I resolved to look into this further later, but for now, I'd just increase my sass level by about 3 roentgens and keep working at my cooking.
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"A-Anyways, Then you do this," I said, using [Time Slow] to quickly spread the pizza dough out into a large circle, before rushing out to the garden to grab more tomatoes and pulverize them into a sauce. I rushed out to grab a handful of shredded cheese from their cheese cabinet, as well as filling a bowl with my previously-cooked steak, some shredded chicken, mushrooms, red peppers, shrimp, flaked coconut, bacon, fried chicken, kiwi, green onion, anchovies, and sliced olives.
I threw everything onto the pizza, loading it up with ingredients. It immediately began to take on an intimidating aura. My mouth was watering just looking at it. I was a little worried that this might be a little too good, and overshadow the other recipes I wanted to make, so I also added some pineapple as a handicap.
"Now, the most important thing about baking pizza is to do it at high temperature." I explained, before activating all of my magical skills and casting [Blaze Ollie - Lvl 10]. I did a standing frontflip while unsheathing my skateboard, slamming on top of the skateboard and landing directly on the pizza. Flames erupted from my wheels, killing one of the cooks and completely ruining the finish on their counter. However, once I dismounted and picked a few rocks out, the pizza was cooked perfectly. It looked good!
"Looks good!" I complimented myself. "This is the power of pizza."
The cooks set to work devouring the pizza like a pack of animals, grunting and screaming in pleasure as elf-chan politely ate a piece in super slo-mo with exquisite animation detail provided to the food for some reason. Somehow, I thought that maybe this busty anime babe chef might be important some way, and it only partially had to do with the fact that she was the only person on the kitchen staff with a visible pair of eyes, or determinable hair color. I decided it'd probably be a good idea to appraise her, using my appraisal skill, [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)].
Name: Bonbon A. Petit
Active Title: [Enterprising Cook]
Faction: King Presley's Elvish Nation
Level: 6
EXP: 415/750
Skill Points: 75
Gold Stars: 5
Gacha Coins: 0
HP: 800/800
MP: 200/200
SP: 170/170
FP: 2/2
Attributes:
Stranth: 18
Dexterity: 31
Swoleness: 19
Magic: 35
Karma: 120
Mojo: 15
Luck: 28
Skills:
[Walking Mastery - Lvl 3] [Hustling Basics - Lvl 9] [Cooking Mastery - Lvl 7] [Burning Resistance - Lvl 4] [Slashing Resistance - Lvl 3] [Pain Resistance - Lvl 2] [Food Critic Basics] [Enterprising Chef] [Kitchen Hands] [Knife Supremacy] [Speak with Animals] [Speak with Plants] [Stealth] [Improved Dexterity] [Beautiful - Lvl 10] [Double Chop] [Aura (Food Preservation)] [Elf Ears] [Elf Eyes] [Immortal] [Magic Conscription] [Culinary Magic] [Magic Perception] [Magic Casting] [Divine Cookery] [Princess] [Secret Princess] [Fated]
Titles:
[Cook] [Enterprising Cook] [Scion of the Kitchen] [Chosen of Flavos] [Princess] [Rogue] [Elf]
Culinary Artes:
[Short Order Chef]
[Crunch Time]
[Precision Serving]
[Unbreakable Apron]
[Acquire Taste]
Spells:
[Create Food]
[Unburn]
[Bestow Flavor: (Spicy)]
[Bestow Flavor: (Sour)]
[Bestow Flavor: (Good)]
[Fistful of Spice]
[Purify Food and Drink]
[Freeze]
Hmm... it looked like she had quite a few interesting skills in there... interesting titles too. I gave her a knowing nod, but I would hold my tongue for now. She might not want people to know she was an elf, after all.
Bonbon finished scrawling in her notebook, and nodded again.
"I think I understand. Let's try this again..."
She held her hands together and kamehameha'd out a fully-cooked pizza, identical to the one I had just created. My eyes widened and bulged in raw envy, as if she'd just pulled out a business card that looked better than mine. I'd definitely have to look into getting more skills, this was just not cool.
Wanda quickly grabbed this pizza before the cooks (now reduced permanently to snarling food-beasts) had an opportunity to get any. She rushed off to leap into the rafters, leaving them to turn back towards us, a desperate hunger filling their eyes and an absence of pizza filling their hands.
Uh-oh.
The cooks growled and started to advance on us. I was afraid of this. My food had been too wild, too much for them to handle. There was only one way to solve this: with even tastier food. If I didn't act quickly, the rabid cooks would surely tear us to pieces. Even my [Absolute Invulnerability] was nothing in the face of pizza-lust.
I quickly turned to the chef's body, which was busy lashing his head back to his neck with a bit of rope.
"Quick!" I ordered him, "Do you have any rice?"
"Rice?" He asked, frowning. "That's only good for feeding birds."
I hesitated. "I... I don't think you're supposed to feed rice to birds. Doesn't that kill them?"
"I hope so. Fuck birds." The chef shook his head, disastrously, sending his head rolling from his neck and under the oven, where it gave me a nonchalant look.
"What do you plan on doing with the rice, anyways?"
I gave him a big ol' clever smile and stretched every muscle simultaneously.
"Just you wait."
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