《Her Eyes Bedevil...》Prologue: Tragic Fate
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"Eternity, so understood, is not an extension of time, not even an indefinite time. It is, rather, a vertical dimension cutting through time at each of its moments."
- Erazim V. Kohák, The Embers and the Stars
"I need you to come home ASAP!" sigaw sa kanya mula sa kabilang linya. Ano na naman ba to kaaga aga eh yun agad ang bungad sa akin ni daddy? Tahimik lang ako at masayang ineenjoy ang napakaganda kong view ngayong umaga.
"I'm sorry, anak." rinig kong sabi ng daddy, napukaw naman ako na may kausap pala ako sa telepono.
"It's okay dad, naiintindihan ko po kayo. I know we need this for our expansion. I will get this done when I get home. Just let me enjoy this vacation. I love you dad, send my love to momma." sagot ko naman sa kanya.
"Etong daddy ko talaga halatang tumatanda na, puro init na ng ulo ang pinapairal. hahaha" dagdag ko na medyo pabulong.
Tumawa siya ng malakas na tila joke yung sinabi ko, "Naku! Ikaw talagang bata ka, kung hindi lang kita baby ay malilintikan ka talaga sakin. Anyway, take care anak, mag-uwi ka ng boyfriend ha! hahaha. " Nangaasar niyang bilin, "Daddy!!!Grrr!" sigaw ko sabay pagputol ng tawag.
Ewan ko ba kasi bakit pilit pilit akong pinagboboyfriend eh alam naman nilang sobrang hirap ng situation ko. "Hay Buhay!!!" sigaw ng isipan sabay bagsak sa higaan.
Bigla akong nadrain sa sinabi ni daddy, masakit parin pala kahit matagal mo ng tinanggap na tapos na ang lahat. "Hoy Madam! Madamdamin! Tigil tigilan mo ko jan! Ang ganda ng lugar para sayangin mo kakalinger mo sa past. Di na uso ang move on gurl?" sermon ng utak ko.
Ou nga naman! Hindi ako nandito para magreminiscing, andito ako para magcelebrate at magrelax. Napanalonan lang naman kasi ng company namin ang government bidding para magrant kami to be the third major telecommunications provider in the Philippines.
And the perfect treat for myself, is a holiday on the private island of Song Saa Resort. Eto lang yung gusto kong buhay, tahimik, malayo sa magulo at maingay na totoo kung buhay. I can't help but to wish na sana ganito nalang lahat, yung isang pikit mo lang, eh andun na ung feeling of tranquility. Just being there, under the sun and listening to morning bird's lovely songs.
.
.
.
"Wake up beautiful, we will be late to the party tonight..." He said in his deep sexy voice, his eyes glinting under the moonlight as he trailed small kisses on my cheeks. "... I love you mi Corazon, my one and only, my Sarah."
I forced my eyes to open as I sat up on the bed. I looked around the place to make sure na nasa Cambodia parin ako at hindi sa lugar na yun. "Anong panaginip yun?" tanong ko sa sarili ko. Di ko maiwasang ihilamos ang kamay ko sa aking mukha. Bad dreams lang yun! It's just a bad dream! I thought to myself.
Hindi ko namalayan unti-unti na palang pumapatak ang mga luha ko. Ayaw ko ng maalala ang mga pait ng kahapon na pilit kong inilibing sa nakaraan.
Ayaw ko ng matulog ulit, takot ko lang na baka mapanaginipan ko na naman siya at ang aming nakaraan, kaya mas pinili kong lumabas ng aking villa at pumunta sa resto upang maglibang ng konti. Masaya pag gabi sa isla, buhay na buhay ito, may konting tugtugan at sayawan. May stage, banda at orchestra sila doon, nasa choice mo nalang kong ano ang gusto mong mag accompany sayo pag gusto mong kumanta.
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Ako naman andito lang sa tabi, pa wine wine lang, may dinadamdam kasi si ate mo gurl, masakit parin pala. At yung mga kantahan pa nila dito ambigat, may I can't find my words to say goodbye, Until I fall in Love again, at If ever you're in my arms again.
Akala ko wala ng mas lala pa sa mga kantahan nila eh. Tapos na ata ang mga oldies but goodies na mga kanta kasi mga medyo bata bata na ang mga kumakanta. Akma na akong tatayo, ng pigilan ako ng sobrang lungkot na boses.
[Plays When You're Gone]
Bumagsak ako sa kinauupuan ko, sobrang nacarried away na ako sa kanta, ang sakit sakit. Yung emosyon ko walang paglagyan, feel na feel ko rin ang pain sa boses ng babaeng kumakanta, siguro pareho din kami ng pinagdadaanan.
🎶🎶🎶
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd
Need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missin' you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missin', too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear
To always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missin' you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missin', too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear
To always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you
Siguro dahil sa bigat ng nararamdaman ko at dala narin ng alak, nakahugot ako ng lakas ng loob na umakyat sa stage at inilabas lahat ng sakit na dulot ng kahapon. [Plays I'll Never Love Again by Lady Gaga]
🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
Wish I could, I could've said goodbye
I would've said what I wanted to
Maybe even cried for you
If I knew it would be the last time
I would've broke my heart in two
Tryna save a part of you
Don't wanna feel another touch
Don't wanna start another fire
Don't wanna know another kiss
No other name fallin' off my lips
Don't wanna give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won't even let the sunlight in
No, I'll never love again
I'll never love again, oh, oh, oh, oh
When we first met
I never thought that I would fall
I never thought that I'd find myself
Lying in your arms, mm, mm
And I wanna pretend that it's not true
Oh, baby, that you're gone
'Cause my world keeps turnin', and turnin', and turnin'
And I'm not movin' on
Don't wanna feel another touch
Don't wanna start another fire
Don't wanna know another kiss
No other name fallin' off my lips
Don't wanna give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won't even let the sunlight in
No, I'll never love
I don't wanna know this feelin'
Unless it's you and me
I don't wanna waste a moment, ooh
And I don't wanna give somebody else the better part of me
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I would rather wait for you, ooh
Don't wanna feel another touch
Don't wanna start another fire
Don't wanna know another kiss
Baby, unless they are your lips
Don't wanna give my heart away
To another stranger
Don't let another day begin
Won't let the sunlight in
Oh, I'll never love again
Never love again
Never love again
Oh, I'll never love again
I was crying the whole time while singing my heart out loud. Wala na akong pakialam sa lahat, wala ng hiya-hiya. I'm embracing the pain, para tuluyan ko ng maalis to sa aking sistema.
Bumalik ako sa aking ulirat ng mag palakpakan ang mga audience sa resort. Saka ako nakaramdam ng hiya at agad agad umalis sa resto at tumakbo pabalik sa aking villa.
This would be a long and cold night, Sarah! I thought to myself while sobbing...
.
.
.
Five years ago...
I can't believe it is really happening now. I can't contain my excitement, I'm so sure about this. Hell! This is the best thing that I am about to do. I silently thought to myself to overcome the quivering of my whole being. I am really nervous about this...
As I turn around, my heart warms at the sight of the most gorgeous woman in my eyes, just a glimpse of her sweet smile, everything is gone, she's the calmness in my storm.
"Can I have this dance, My Sweetness?" I smiled dazzlingly in her direction as I kissed her hand.
"Of course, you may." she answered in giggles as she took my offered hand, before leading her to the dance floor. I pulled her closer to me as she snaked her arms in my neck.
This beauty is to die for... I smiled affectionately and wondered what would happen if I didn't have the guts to ask her to dance with me on our prom night way back in highschool.
Then maybe I wouldn't have all the chance to be this close to her like this. Then maybe there wouldn't be us.
"Is there something wrong in my face?" she asked, "Don't you like the way I dressed tonight? What's with the sadness in your face, My Sweetness?" she added.
"No." I shook my head, "Relax, you're the most beautiful in this room. And even if you wear bedraggled clothes, for me you'll always be loveliest and the prettiest."
Pink stains spread through her cheeks like a fire. "You are really a charmer, Matthew Alejandro Valderrama. You exactly know what to say to a woman."
I couldn't help but to laugh, "Flattering! I didn't know that I could still make you blush even after so many years." I told her.
I released a deep sigh, "The truth is, I was just thinking about what If I didn't ask you then, maybe I am dancing on my own right now."
She shook her head and looked straight into my eyes with assurance, "Cheer up, Mr., even if you didn't ask me then, I might ask you myself."
"Thank you for saying yes then, I can only hope that you would say the same tonight."
Then...
Piano...
Orchestra...
[King and Queen of Hearts by David Pomeranz on the background]
We're King and Queen of Hearts
Hold me when the music starts,
All my dreams come to
When I dance with you....
"There you go! That was our song." smiles lovingly at me.
"Yes, of course. How can I forget? That song is special and tonight we'll make it extra special." I drew her closer and kissed her on the forehead.
The place went black and only the widescreen and the electric candles were giving light.
On the widescreen...
"Hello My Sweetness! I know you are wondering what the hell I am doing over here but I couldn't find any other way to make this perfect.
We were both young when I first saw you...
You were rocking your favorite Avril Lavign outfit while wearing that lovely and sweet smile of yours as you introduce yourself as Sarah Joy Garcia. We were in second year highschool, you were a transferee then. How will I ever forget our first meeting? I said "Hi! I am Matthew Alejandro Valderrama." as I offered my hand. But both of your hands were loaded with books then, you couldn't accept my offered hand, so you gave me a kiss instead. I swear, my world stops for a while at that moment and my heart is in a frenzy, that was the first that I laid my eyes on you... "God bless you!" you told me that, the dumbstruck me just said "Thank You!" but now I say, Thank God for blessing me with her.
My Sweetness, for the last years I know how hard you've fought for this relationship. I thank you for always choosing us. I can't promise you all the happiness in this world but I promise to always be there and to always prepare that breakfast that you care so much for. Forever seems like a long time, but nothing seems like a long time. I love you then, today and till the end of time..."
"...My Sweetness, please be my wife?"
"Yes, I will marry you, My Sweetness. I love you, only you." I said, leaning in to kiss him passionately. I will never trade this moment.
"You're making me the happiest man, now." He said in tears as he slid the diamond solitaire ring to my finger. I am now finally engaged.
The people around us whistled and clapped. If it wasn't for the noise, I wouldn't even realize that they are all here. I thought there were just the two of us. Our family was even her, our mom and dad hugged us both. We received congratulations and well wishes from our friends.
This is the happiest night of my entire life, Matt and I never really wanted to end this night. But we have to because our jobs are waiting for us. So we are driving back home. "This is just the beginning of our happy ever after." I told him, trying not to distract his eyes from the road. "I can't wait to be your wife." I added, "Hell no! I can't wait to call you my wife." he announced. " I love you, Matthew." I said pouting my lips, "I love you too, Sarah,forever." he answered leaning in to give me the kiss.
Then...
...Poot poot poot...
Loud screeching of brakes...
Blag...
Blag...
Glass Shattering...
And everything went black....
.
.
.
.
.
I woke up in this unfamiliar place. Everything is a blur at ang ingay ng paligid.
"Nasaan ako?" tanong ko sa naaniag kong lalaki.
"You're in the hospital. You were in an accident, do you remember it?" sagot ng lalaki.
"Where's my dad? my mom? I need to see them." tanong ko ulit sa kanya. "They will be here, in just a few minutes, we will get them for you." mabilis niyang sagot sabay attend sa isa pang pasyente na andito rin sa room ko.
"How are you Mr.? Tanong niya sa kasama ko ditong pasyente sa kwarto. Sa palagay ko doctor ata siya. "Where am I?" tanong ng lalaki sa doctor.
"You're in the hospital. You were in an accident, the both of you." sagot ng doctor sa kanya. O kasama ko palang na aksidente yan, teka ano ba nangyari? malungkot kong tanong sa sarili ko.
"Can you please get my mom for me?" Pakiusap nung isa kay doc. "I will, a moment."
Maya maya pay andaming taong papasok sa room namin.
"How are they doc?"
"How are you son?"
"Hija, how are you?"
Tanong ng babae na nasa kanyang early 50's ata, anak ata niya etong kasama ko dito.
"Anak, kamusta ka? Okay ka lang ba? Pinagalala niyo kami."
"Matthew how are you?"
"Bakit ba kayo naaksidente?" Walang tigil na tanong ni mommy.
"Hindi ko po alam mommy, wala akong matandaan. Pero okay na naman po ako, pwede na siguro akong umuwi."
"Son, what happened? Why were the two of you in an accident? You two made us worried?" tanong na naman ng babae dun sa anak niya.
"Mom, I don't have any idea. I don't even know why I am with her. sagot niya sa nanay niya. Aba etong lalaking to, hindi ko nga rin siya kilala.
Naked shock was on their faces. Lahat sila ay nakatunganga sa narinig, ang mommy niya at si mommy ko ay maiyak iyak pa.
"My, bakit ka umiiyak? Hindi ko nga rin siya kilala eh, sino ba siya my?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Fiance mo siya anak." Seryosong sagot ni mommy.
Napatawa ako ng bonga. "Hahaha! You're kidding me right, mom? Single nga ako, wala akong boyfriend, fiancee pa kaya?"
"I don't have a fiance either. Mommy, I just started seeing Eunice. And that woman is not my fiance, I don't even know her." he said in frustrations.
Hoy chong! Wag kang ano! Hindi rin kita fiance, hindi nga kita kilala eh no. Duh!
Nakinig lang ako sa endless nilang tanong na hindi ko masagot kasi wala akong alam. I can't remember anything about him or us.
After ng consultation nila mommy with the doctor, they said na we suffered retrograde amnesia, eh wala naman akong pake kasi hindi ko siya maalala at ganun din siya. So from then, wala akong kilalang siya at pinagpatuloy ang buhay ko...
P.S.
Excited naba kayong magkita sila? Soonest.
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