That was the one. That was the name I never wanted to hear me with ever again. If I could sell my soul and get as far away from Rafe Cameron as possible I would.

Let me tell you a little backstory about me and Rafe Cameron.

~~~

I grew up in Outer Banks, obviously, as a poor person on the cut. I made a strong group of friends, the Pogues, and we never split up. Until Kie went for her Kook year.

It wasn't her fault, she didn't want to go, but it happened.

The boys didn't want to talk to her anymore because they felt like she betrayed them, so they didn't. I still went to see her though. And when I went, sometimes she would have one of her new friends over, Sarah.

I got along with Sarah just fine, and I still do now, obviously, so we became sort of friends. One time Sarah invited me and Kie over to spend the night.

I had nothing better to do, so I went. It was a fine night, nothing going wrong, just a normal sleepover. Until Rafe came home.

He was a normal guy, not a lot wrong with him. But he had a very flirty personality.

Or maybe he was just flirty with me.

Anyway, we started talking more and more, blah blah blah, you know the rest. So yea, I did use to date Rafe Cameron (and mind you I was 15, I'm 17 now, and Rafe was 17 then and 19 now so it wasn't that big of an age gap, it could be worse).

And I didn't regret it at all, until he went crazy. Rafe has never been fully right in the mind, everyone knows that. But one day he almost killed JB because he didn't know he was my brother and he thought he was a guy I was cheating on him with.

I broke up with him very quickly, I don't deal with bitches who hurt my brother, and then he became a coke addict, psychopath, whatever.

So then, yeah, I regretted dating him. And I still do. But also, yeah, I loved him for a while and he loved me and I do still believe that.

Now I was just disappointed. In what he has become, in what he does and how he acts. But I blame his father more than anything. Everyone that knows how his father treats him is the same as me. But it's not an excuse for what he's done.

~~~

I wanted to cry, to throw up, maybe to scream. I promised myself I would never touch Rafe Cameron ever again.

Yeah, Sarah was now John B's girlfriend but what am I gonna do about that. Sarah is different from her brother.

J let go of me. Oh I might be sick. What he did to JB, and I hooked up with him? What kind of sick fucking sibling would hook up with the man who made you leave the country.

Me I guess. Fucked up, high, drunk, mentally ill, me.

I wanted to punch something. The mirror? Myself? Both? Hopefully not JJ on accident.

"Stop it." JJ told me. "Don't blame yourself." "But no one else did it. It was my fault." I replied. I wanted to cry but no tears were coming out.

"Rafe Cameron. Rafe-fucking-Cameron. Are you kidding me right now?" I said. "I hooked up with Rafe, the man who killed Peterkin, who sent my brother out of the country."

I didn't know if I was processing it too much or not enough.

"I mean you guys used to date. It could have been feelings coming back up," JJ whispered. He didn't want me to hear it but I did. "You think I would still have feelings for that psychopath!" I yelled. "Yes!" JJ yelled back. That hurt.

"You think I would still have feelings for a man who almost killed my brother on multiple occasions, almost killed us, and literally shot a person?!" I shouted. "Fuck you JJ Maybank."

I despised Rafe now. How could JJ even fucking think I liked him still.

I started walking out of the bathroom and JJ yelled, "He still has feelings for you! He's clearly never gotten over it!", following me out.

"And you think that just means that I'll also have feelings for him?" I exclaimed. "That doesn't even make sense, J." I told him, wanting to strangle the man right now.

"Yes, I understand that it was me who hooked up with Rafe. I understand that it was my fault we broke up. But if you ever even suggest that I have feelings for that man again, I will never speak to you ever again." I said, standing in the doorway of my room.

JJ just looked down at the floor. Pope and Kie had come inside from our yelling and they were standing in the living room, behind J.

"It is my fault that I cheated, but it is not my fault that you are jealous of nothing." I added before closing the door.

😩