Chapter 159: Fast Friends

With the Cure Toxin skill activated, Derek slapped the back of the sleeping Guild Master. His skill was still at a low level, so it didn’t have immediate effects. He waited for the cooldown to finish and used it again.

After the second hit, Shae woke up if a drowsy state. He was still drunk, but no longer passed out. The man looked around with confusion in his eyes before Derek hit him again. The third hit did it. His previously glazed over eyes became sharp, and his confusion disappeared.

“What the hell, man?” Shae called out.

“Just wanted to sober you up before you had to go home.” Derek said.

“Yeah, it won’t be any fun for Judy to lay into you while you’re drunk. It’s better for you to take the beating sober.” Roman said.

“What beating?” Shae asked.

Roman snorted. “The beating you are going to get once she finds out how much you paid for a jug of brew and that you aren’t going to make any of it back with your typical referral fee.”

Shae looked at Derek. Derek shrugged. “It’s not my fault that it doesn’t have any effect on me.” He said. “You took a gamble and lost. It’s a shame, huh?”

“Such a shame.” Roman agreed.

Derek reached over and grabbed what was left of the jug of brew. Only around a quarter of it remained in the jug. He put it to his mouth and turned it up, polishing off every last drop. The large amount of the toxin put a dent in his HP, but it wasn’t enough to warrant any intervention.

Derek slammed the jug down and let out a breath. He turned to look at a shocked Shae. “See, no effect. Nothing at all. I’ve drunk over half of an entire jug by now, and I’m still stone cold sober. It’s a pity.”

Roman busted up laughing at Derek’s antics. “What a pity.” He looked at Shae. “I have an idea, Shae. Why don’t you order another jug full, and we can let Derek drink the whole thing and see if it works on him? Who knows, he may become addicted and end up being a customer. That way, you will get your referral fee.”

Shae was blankly staring at the empty jug sitting on the counter in front of them. “Why?” He asked in a low voice. “Why did you have to drink the whole thing?”

Derek slapped him on the back again, this time without any active skills. “Well, you tried to set me up by getting me hooked on this brew, so I decided to take a little revenge. Besides, what’s a little prank between friends?”

“That’s right! We’re all friends here.” Roman chimed in. “I have to thank you for introducing me to Derek. We became fast friends while waiting for you to finish taking a nap.”

Derek reached over the counter to Roman, and the halfling clasped his hand and pulled him in. It was awkward, as there was a counter between the two of them. Also, if the floor wasn’t higher on the opposite side, Derek doubted Roman would even be able to see over it, much less enact a makeshift shoulder hug. Still, they got it done.

“That’s right. Fast friends.” Derek said, as they broke their awkward embrace.

Shae put his hand on his forehand and shook his head. “Judy is going to kill me.” He said. “Why did you let things go so far?” He directed at Roman.

Roman placed his hand on his chest and gasped, offended. “What ever do you mean? I’ve just been playing along with your plan all this time. How was I supposed to know that Derek wouldn’t be affected by it?”

Shae snorted. “Whatever. You can find somebody else to test your potions from now on.”

Derek raised his hand. “I’ll do it.”

Both men looked at Derek, surprised.

“What? It sounds interesting. I mean, I won’t do it for free, but I have something else in mind for that. Plus, with my constitution, you won’t have to take as many precautions as before.” Derek explained.

Roman’s eyes lit up. “I have just the poison… ahem… potions that you could help test. I’ve been afraid that they would be too much, even for Shae, so I haven’t tried them out. Plus, with that skill you used to sober Shae up, it will be even more helpful.”

Derek nodded. “That’s what I was thinking.”

Shae cut in. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait… I was just messing around. I’ll still test your potions for you. Just increase the amount of brew for me. In fact, how about I clear my guild schedule and test all this week?” Then, in a conspiratorial tone, he said, “That way, I won’t have to tell Judes that I spent all that gold on an empty jug. I can show her a full one.”

Roman laughed. “I think she’ll be more offended at you not doing your job than spending some coin on some brew. Taking a week off? Do you not cherish your balls?”

Shae furrowed his brows and frowned. “You’re right. Maybe I could get by with taking another day off if I work late tonight. I’ll tell her I’m showing the new Onyx Adventurer around the city. He’s important enough. What do you say?” He asked Derek.

Derek shook his head. “I think it would be best for you to come clean to your wife. The longer you drag it out, the deeper of a hole you’re digging yourself. Besides, apparently, you won’t miss anything with the testing. I’ll be testing these ‘poisons’ that you wouldn’t be asked to test to begin with. I’ll leave the regular stuff to you, so you don’t miss out.”

Shae let out a defeated sigh. “You’re right. I can never hide anything from that woman. She knows me too well, and I’m a terrible liar. Her damn class gives her a stupid amount of attention to detail.”

Derek pat Shae on the back one last time. “Happy wife, happy life.” He quoted the cheesy line he’d heard so many times back on Earth.

“Happy wife, overworked husband.” Shae snorted. “Overworked, but still happy, I guess.” He said.

“That’s the spirit.” Roman said. “Now, about buying another jug.”

“Fuck off!” Shae shouted, then stormed off out of the bar.

“How rude.” Roman said as he picked up the already clean mug and started polishing it again. “It was nice to meet you. Don’t forget about the testing.” He said to Derek. “Now, I have to go make sure those idiots don’t destroy more shit than they can pay for.” The halfling walked away from the counter and back to the makeshift fighting arena in the back of the bar.

Derek waved to Roman. “Don’t worry. I’ll swing by your alchemy shop sometime tomorrow. Or the next day at the latest.”

Derek smiled and looked at the empty jug. Maybe I went too far. He thought before shrugging it off. No… he’s a big boy, he can handle it. Derek cast a quick Rejuvenation and Cure Toxin on himself to dispel any lingering effects of the brew.

Derek stood from the barstool and dusted off his black shirt that caught dust from the bar during the odd hug he had given the halfling. Today was a pretty interesting day. I guess I’ll go see what the others were up to all day today. I’m sure they’re fine. They had Silvi with them, and she hasn’t tried to communicate with me all day.

With that thought, Derek left the seedy bar and headed back to the hotel.

Back at the hotel, Derek looked around the lobby to see if any of his party members were having dinner. Derek winced when he thought about that. Thomas was the only person he had given any gold to. The others had spent the entire day penniless in a city all about trade and commerce. Plus, they had Silvi, a veritable black hole when it comes to food.

Jacks probably has gold of his own, and I’m sure someone as sly as Rudy would do fine. He thought, but still hated that he forgot about Rayna and the others. Finally, he shook it off and went upstairs to their rooms to see if they were there. They probably spent the whole day holed up in their rooms because all they could do was window shop.

When he got to their floor, he saw Jacks leaning against the wall outside their rooms.

“You on guard duty or something?” Derek asked.

Jacks smiled when he saw Derek. “Nope, just waiting for you. Dinner’s ready, and Mal wanted to wait until you got here before we all ate.”

Derek was taken aback. “Really?”

Instead of answering, Jacks knocked on the door beside him, and Thomas opened it. “He’s here.” The boy said after turning his head around to shout in the room.

Derek followed Jacks into the women’s room and looked around. It was a little cramped, but still large enough to fit the whole party inside, at least for a gathering or a meal. If needed, they could all cram inside and sleep even.

With Derek and Jacks inside, Malorie began divvying out plates and eating utensils before placing steaming food on each one. Everything she put on the plates came out of her storage ring.

Derek looked down at the food, then back up and Brandi, Rayna, and Mal. “So, what exactly did you all do today? I just realized I forgot to leave you with any gold. I’m sorry about that.”