《Getting Hard (Journey of a Tank)》111 - Heroic Fruit Collector

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“Ow! Damn monkeys with five hands!” A ball of ice from the left zipped over my shield and bonked the side of my head. “None of that!” I raised my shield higher as I galloped. Did their feet count as hands? Or were their hands, hands, and their feet, feet?

Another projectile came straight for my face, passing right between my shields and smashing my flat nose. That snapped me out of my nonsense musings. I noted the difference between the damage of that attack and the others striking the rest of my body.

This must be a Decisive Strike—the counterpart of a Head-On Block.

There were mechanics such as critical strikes that increased damage by an RNG chance in the same way that shields have an inherent block chance for a smaller amount than Head-On Block. But aiming for an enemy’s weak point, such as a headshot, would increase the damage by a significant amount.

I rarely encountered monsters that could reach my head since most were shorter than me. And usually, they only had melee range, so I haven’t thought much of Decisive Strikes. Learning my lesson, I prioritized protecting my head while running. Because I wasn't standing still, I lost the buffs of [Band of Loamy Renewal] and was a tad less tanky.

“Haven’t you guys heard of overpopulation? There’s no way the ecosystem can sustain your numbers!”

The Feral Frost Macaques had no care for that.

Their chattering had turned up to deafening levels. The whooshing sounds from all the flying ice balls increased to a roaring wail.

On the flip side, Essence and Gli swirled around me like I was the chosen of the heavens.

The abundance of mobs I continuously killed made up for the endless hailstorm with debuffs I suffered. Half my mind considered letting Yusa die so I could continue farming these monkeys.

But the negative consequences would be high—I didn’t want the villagers to hate me, for one. Plus, it was much better to build my connection with Gibil, especially since he was a Pathfinder and connected to other important NPCs such as Arakmad and Gula.

“Was that a voice?” I lowered my shields to look around and got rewarded with more balls to the face. “I’ll make you monkeys extinct!”

“Help! Help!”

It wasn’t my imagination. “Yusa! Where are you?” I repeatedly called out to her as I continued running.

There was no answer—I must’ve taken a wrong turn.

I circled the area, then retraced my steps as I tried to get another hint of the voice. It was like I was in a dead spot, trying to find a signal. The slow debuff of [Minor Chill] hampered my search; I had to act fast, for there was a real chance she’d get hurt or worse by these pesky monkeys.

“Is there—one left?” I said, checking my inventory for anything that could help me. I consumed the last [Tart Dapple Juice] I had bought to fight Zoar Elab. It more than countered the debilitating effects of [Minor Chill].

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[Tart Dapple Juice: +15% Attack Speed, +15% Movement Speed for 20 Minutes] ★☆☆☆☆

Stock up on meal buffs for emergencies, I mentally noted. Players could have three meal buffs active at a time. It was too expensive to keep them up for hours of grinding, but they’d be definitely worth it if I were in a pinch or if my party was doing something important like boss hunting.

“Can anyone hear me?” cried a demonic voice that I recognized as coming from a female Mardukryon. It was barely audible over the grating cacophony of the monkeys and the dozens of ice balls shattering as they connected with my armor. “I’m over here!”

“Where the hell is here?” I switched my [Thorny Worn Targe] to [Mehubanarath’s Old Sling] and shot at the nearest Feral Frost Macaques. “Can you shut the hell up for a moment?”

I didn’t even need to aim. The stones hit some of the monkeys because of how numerous they were. It further angered them, causing them to screech louder—the exact opposite of what I wanted them to do. I switched back to dual-wielding shields.

“Yusa, continue shouting!” I zigzagged through the trees as I peeled my ears to discern where to go. “I’ll follow your voice!”

“This way! Help me, please!”

“Herald Stone is here to save the day!”

The trees in this area grew close to each other; there were points I had to squeeze my huge ass through. Gnarled roots threatened to make me tumble, and the low branches whacked my face. The upside was that the thick growth stopped the monkeys from shooting at me—[Minor Chill] and [Shattering Ice] wore off after a few seconds.

The bad news was that some Feral Frost Macaques decided to jump on me instead.

“Get off! I can’t see!” I bashed my head against a trunk I passed, dislodging a couple of monkeys clambering on my horns. Several of them dropped on my back, clawing and biting. “I’m not a ride, you pests!”

I didn’t dare twist my upper body and try to pick them off like giant ticks—I would crash if I did that. And if I stopped running to do so, more monkeys would catch up and pile on me. Everything was getting cramped here.

Then I figured out a plan to get rid of them.

Switching to my [Buckler of the Invigorated Pygmy], I summoned my [Superior Replicant Totem] up ahead. As I passed my Totem, it cast [Enraging Call], taunting the monkeys. The troublesome simians jumped off and went for the Totem instead. Since it was only a level one skill, the Totem immediately died as the monkeys mobbed it.

But it had done its job. I was already several meters away in the short time it became a distraction.

“They didn’t even pay for the ride,” I grumbled, dropping my Totems in my path to draw the monkeys like moths to the light.

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The wall of trees opened up to reveal a small clearing.

A different kind of plant grew in the middle of the sea of trees. Beautiful orange flowers contrasted against green leaves. Roundish fruits of the same shade as the flowers hang from the branches here and there. It was a wild Peely orchard hidden in this obscure corner of the Golden Forest.

The monkeys paused at the edge of the tree line, hesitant to drop to the ground and follow me through the Peely plants.

“Yusa, help is here!” I shouted as I waded through the chest-high greenery, trampling some of them. “Where are you?”

“I’m stuck over here!”

couldn’t move because thick thorny vines, reminiscent of the Vinereaver, had entangled her legs. The tendrils grew out of a collection of bulbs with golden liquid inside that sat on a crown of thorns, looking like a giant eldritch pineapple.

Beyond it was a Peely plant with the plumpest fruits among all of them here. She must’ve tried to collect it but was inadvertently trapped.

Noticing that Yusa was hurt, I used [Healing Touch] on her. Then I equipped my [Heavy Spear] and got to work clearing away the vines. “I’m going to get you out of there.”

“I’ve seen you before,” she said, looking at me. “Arakmad sent you to pick up his laundry.”

“Yes, we’ve met,” I said through gritted teeth. The vines felt rubbery, like low-quality steak. A spear, a weapon meant for stabbing, was an unwieldy tool for hacking them.

“Thank you for helping me. You’re my hero!”

My hero? “Don’t fall in love with me now,” I said. “How the hell are you alive? I fought through a gazillion monkeys to get here!”

“The Frost Macaques weren’t here earlier. They got angry because I’m trying to take the fruits.”

“And they took out their anger on me? That doesn’t sound fair.”

The blade of my spear cut through the stubborn vines coiling around Yusa’s forelegs. She was able to push the front of her body up. But the tendrils still had a tight grip on her hind legs. She cried out in pain as the thorns dug into her flesh, and she fell back to the ground.

“Careful.” I healed her again. “Wait for me to remove all of them.”

Our troubles weren’t over.

The monstrous pineapple reacted to having its parts severed and began pulsing. It didn’t take long for me to realize what it was doing as Yusa’s health bar steadily dropped—it injected toxins through its spikes as a defensive mechanism.

“I feel…I feel weak,” Yusa said. “My vision is spinning…”

“Don’t worry. I’ll—” Screeches interrupted me. The Frost Feral Macaques finally decided that they should raise the difficulty. They made up their minds to drop from the trees and walk on the ground to reach me. This must be why I needed to have a Hunter-Warrior with me.

The first Macaque that emerged from the crowd of Peely plants met my [Superior Replicant Totem]. The others were taunted away by the [Lesser Replicant Totem]. The rest, I taunted to attack me. I formed a barricade with my body and Totems to keep the monkeys away from Yusa.

“Blazing meatballs! It’s like I’m working the line in our restaurant again!” There were so many things to do, different matters that needed my attention.

I had to keep healing Yusa so she wouldn’t die from the toxins, which meant constant switching between my spear and shield to be in an Unarmed State. And I also needed to heal myself to continue summoning Totems—my health was double compared to during our victory over Zoar Elab. Drinking [Commemorative Restorative Potion] helped with the health costs, but I couldn’t spam the Totems now. On top of that, I had to cast [Enraging Call] to hold these primates while stabbing the vines.

“Just a little bit more!” I awkwardly sawed off another tendril while a Frost Feral Macaque hung from my left tusk. Two of them pounded my head with rocks as a third tried to pull off my horns. “There we go! Yusa, run!”

She got up and tried to go over the thorny vines again to get the Peely fruit she wanted.

“No! Not there!” I yelled. “Fucking get out of here already!”

“I need the fruit!”

“Do you need to die? We have to escape—” Inspiration struck me. Or maybe that was the rocks hitting my head. “I’ll get that for you later!”

“You will?”

“Let’s escape first. Your safety is the priority.” The monkeys climbed over me, pounding my armor with rocks coated by ice magic. I continued casting [Enraging Call] so they wouldn’t turn their attention to Yusa. “I’ll return for the damned fruits later.”

“But the Frost Macaques—?”

“I swear on our ancestors that I’ll get the fruits for you no matter how many monkeys are in my way!”

[ Quest: Fruits of Love ]

Help Yusa make the perfect gift for Pathfinder Gibil. Gather five (5) of the ripest and sweetest Peely fruits to make the fruitiest [Peely Fruit Wine] that Gibil will love. But take care and be watchful of your surroundings, for the Frost Feral Macaques will be enraged if you steal their food. Collect the fruits quickly before the monkeys collect you as replacement food.

“Wow, that is a morbid line. Accept! Accept quest!” I was going to take my sweet time completing this.

“Thank you, my hero,” Yusa said as she backed away from the dangerous vines.

“Again, I’m not your hero. Run now! Go!”

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