It has been nearly a week since the Pandavas returned to Hastinapur after Ashwatthama's coronation. And surprisingly the palace hadn't seen another face off between the princes as nearly 1/4th of the Kauravas were in Anga. This gave Vidur another chance to fuel the minds of everyone against how chaotic Duryodhana's presence was. Devrat & Satyavati downright ignored him. Dhritarashtra after the show at Kalapradarshan too maintained his distance from Vidur. Clearly, with arrival of Karn , the tides had turned to be in favour of Kauravas.

On a fine morning hour , the palace corridors were bustling with noises. The servants scurried here and there to put everything for the journey in place and ready the chariots and carts soon to leave. The Pandavas, Kunti & Priyamvada were already present in their chariot when Satyavati, Ambika and Ambalika arrived. Their chariot was far much royal and functional unlike the Pandavas. Along with them , only 4 handmaidens , 20 soldiers were going to visit the palace made by Dhritarashtra in memory of Pandu and Madri in Varnavrat.

After a short talk better say explaining the do's and don'ts to Devrat and Gandhari , Satyavati mounted her chariot & all left for Varnavrat , for better or worse only the time would say....

It has been three days since Ananya has woken up , after being unconscious for two days straight. Her vitals are still in the recovery phase. She gets tired even if she speaks much or just crosses the room. I'm not surprised... She is human, not exposed to such powers & the dark magic cast upon her was too powerful to be cast on any normal human & to resist it as she did... Moreover the fact that she isn't from here makes her more susceptible to it... Her nightmares are getting worse each day , evading my sleep. I have tried to ask her but every time I do so she gets stressed out...

I too feel stressed. I have a lot to ponder on... First and foremost is the power lurking in the shadows, second Ananya's safety , third trade alliances suggested by Manipur and certain other tribes & fourth... The Marriage proposal.

I have already appointed my specialty unit consisting of humans , Nagas rescued by me , some reformed rakshas and Asuras on the first task . So far no such incident have been spotted.

Coming to the third , the offer is good, Manipur is blessed with abundant mineral resources and the tribal people produce very fine weapons... But the Kingdom is just beginning to thrive would it be fine to have imports of such amounts? I will have to make changes in the quantity of imports otherwise it would blow to our blacksmiths.

The second one... Ananya's safety... I'm already running my investigations on it. From whatever Shaktiraj has relayed, Meghdutt is definitely connected to what has happened with Ananya or better say whatever is happening with her... But question is how & why? How?..can be attributed to his dark powers whose source can be the powers of Yakshraj. But then y is Yakshraj helping him? And why is he after Ananya? Definitely not because he likes her... There's something missing... Something that's stopping me from solving the puzzle...just one piece.. I hope I get information about him soon...

Vallandhara: Bhrata Karn.. Everyone is waiting for you on dinner..Come..

Suruchi: Bhrata Karn sorry for barging in... Dhara u should ask permission before entering someone's chamber especially a King's ... U are becoming unruly...

Vallandhara: But I am entering my brother's chamber ... Do I need to ask permission there too?

She gives the famous puppy eye look and I couldn't help but nod. Suruchi and Vallandhara, both have taken after Ananya... Suruchi is obedient, punctual, knowledgeable, disciplined & humble . Vallandhara a bit of a rebel , smart, intelligent and the one who knows how to stir as well as get out of trouble.

Dhara squeals and shows tongue to Suru...who just glares at me for supporting her & exits the chamber. I follow her and am followed by Dhara . We are having dinner in the room next to mine , that is Ananya's room as she insists on having dinner with everyone.

Radha maa and Adhirath baba are already there talking & laughing with Ananya on god knows what... But the sight somehow causes a warm fuzzy feeling in me.... It feels good seeing her and my parents together. My eyes met Ananya's and we didn't know for how long we were holding each other 's gaze. Her lotus shaped eyes with black iris, lined with kohl are the most beautiful eyes I have seen after Mata Shakti's. It seemed as if her eyes wanted to say something but were not able to... It was only when someone cleared their throat, we shifted our attention to the surroundings.

Radha maa , Suru , Dhara , baba & me assembled everything , Ananya too wanted to help but Radha maa glared at her. Soon we were all seated & served each other. Meanwhile Dhara kept on speaking about her day , what she did and observed. At times, Suru , Radha maa and baba too joined in...But Ananya was quite... She didn't speak a single word. Just a nod or simple hmm... This is strange.

After dinner, four of them moved to Antarmahal and I went to my chamber.

I tried to sleep but it was as if sleep had forsaken me.... It was then, that I thought to visit Ananya... It is after midnight, she might be sleeping and it's almost time for her nightmare. From the past 5 days , around this time only she starts having them..maybe I can know about it today. I'm not creeping on her or something... I'm just looking out for her ...

"By sneaking into her room from the secret pathway and being with her till brahmamuhurat"

My conscience has a peculiar time for mocking me...

Disregarding it , I move towards her room and hear sounds of thrashing... Sheyy!!! Her nightmares has started... I rush towards the room with lighting speed. Sweat beads mar her face, tears make their way from her doe-eyes to her silky hairs, her lips are moving as if she wants to say something but is not able to , her body is shivering ...and suddenly she starts thrashing.... I rush towards her and hold her before she hurts herself, she continues punching me and kicking in air , all the while trying to speak. This is worst than the other nightmares. I hug her tightly and cuddle her for sometime.. soon she starts to relax in my arms.

I slowly try to separate myself from her but she tightens her hold on me....it is then I realise her being awake. Inthe silence of the night, I hear her sniffles which soon turn into sobs....

Sobs that pierce through my heart... Sobs that are originated from pain , despair, fear and anguish... With her every sob , my heart constricts painfully and something sinister rises in me...bloodlust.. the thirst for seeing Meghdutt drenched in his blood.

Ananya: Ahh!! Karn...

I don't get angered or feel such things... But when this happens my body temperature increases 10 fold the normal temperature.. She makes me face her and looks in my eyes... Her eyes calm me..

Her arms go around my neck and I hug her ....

Karn: May be I shouldn't ask u... But I really need to know what is happening? I have an inkling it's all connected to Meghdutt... U need to speak it all if u don't want me to know it on my own. My ways are not always very righteous...

It's not that I don't want to share my problems but I am not sure if someone will understand what I am going through. I'm willing to share, who won't be? Who wouldn't want someone to help ? someone to hear ? Someone to pacify ? Someone to trust and be understood?? Everyone!! Everyone wants someone with whom they could say anything without any restraint, without any filter but sadly no such person exists. The only one u have at the end is yourself. People come and go , either make u or break u... but they never stay forever neither to they understand. They judge u for being strong and taunt u for being weak... Everyday u search for a person who would understand u and find none... But urself... That's life..

I learnt it years ago...& even if I had someone to talk to.. these strange incidents and nightmares are something I wouldn't be able explain to anyone..

I feel a soft warm touch on my cheeks. I realise Karn wiping my tears which were shed by me....

I look at the man before me... I know he won't judge, taunt or feel any less about me if I share everything with him... He always understands me , advices me and has been a strong support in all worst scenarios.... I can share all of it with him but then he will make it a mission to help me out. He already has too much on his plate Hastinapur, Anga , Shaiva and now this.... But I can't keep it in me anymore and there's none other than him who can help me .... I will have to say it ...

Ananya: It all started 6 months ago.. When Meghdutt sent the first proposal... After rejecting it , everything was normal for a week or so and then I started having weird dreams or better say nightmares..

I initially saw a palace with me standing in the middle of a circle and someone standing before me... Cries of pain , pleas of help and screams of fear and anguish was the only thing I heard....

Later on I started hearing words... Words that seeked for help and warning... although I could never make out what the warning was.... But I would always hear them begging me to either help them or runaway...

With time the nightmares started to get intense... I would see places more clearly, people more clearly and even hear some words ... But nothing more... From the past month , strange incidents are happening... Appearance of footprints in thin air, the feeling of being watched continuously, hearing someone calling for me, zoning out and some unnatural attacks ... It was all getting too much , for which I decided to take a break. Initially I thought it's a trick played by my mind but no... No Karn ... It's real...All of it is real...

From the past 5 days,the nightmares I'm having are soul chilling... Just remembering them makes me shiver...

Tears of fear , failure, pain and anguish flow from my eyes...I close my eyes to control my emotions....

I feel Karn's arms around me and am engulfed in a sense of security like never before. It feels as if nothing in this universe would harm me here ...no worries, no hurt nothing.... If it's possible for time to stop , I wish it stops and I never have to get away from here....

Ananya... Are u okay talking about it?

Worry and concern are etched on his face and honestly I am worried too... because once I tell him everything he won't be in peace...

Karn... U already know about Meghdutt don't u?

He nods...

That means u must have sent ur spies to get dirt on him???

He again nods and crosses his hands before his chest... His look is clearly saying to stop beating around the bush and give him his desired answers....

Karn: What were the nightmares about?

The mention of the nightmares ignite anxiety and worry in me...

The winds were howling, carrying screams of despair and gut-wrenching pain. The moonlight known for vanquishing darkness was intensifying it instead. The fallen pillars , broken doors and walls having dragged bloodied handprints were telling a story of their own. The illuminated tantra circle painted in blood wasn't letting a girl escape. Tens of red eyes glared at her , some with pain and anguish, some with pity , some with greed and maliciousness...and some were empty. Their formless black shadow was accompanied by horrid loud screams representing their feelings added up to the pain and struggle the girl was facing. Her energy was draining, her ears and eyes were bleeding, her hands & feets were burned from all the contact with the circle and voice was heavy from all the screams of pain and anguish. She was being forced to kneel down. Even after facing these soul shivering situations, the girl wasn't ready to give up... She was struggling to get out... trying everything in power to save herself.

I was there ... Standing still... I was trying to move to help her out but I wasn't able to... Something was holding me back... The girl looked at me pleadingly... But there was something else in her eyes too dread and worry... I couldn't hear her voice but it seemed as if she was asking me to run away....

It was then a voice from the darkness with blazing orange eyes spoke... That voice and eyes chilled by soul to numbness.... I couldn't even think , move or do anything.. Tears were flowing from her and my eyes... Mine of helplessness and hers of... inevitable end but there was determination too...

Voice: Don't worry... It won't hurt. U won't feel pain if u agree to it. If u don't, the pain u are facing will intensify,then don't complain I didn't warn u... I love u and that's why I am so soft with u ...or else my methods are rough....

: U don't...*cough* U don't love me.. u don't...*deep breath* love anyone ... U are a monster... I hate u... I... I .. I will never give ..in to ur demands... Monster..

The atmosphere chills to silence and the only sound audible is her breathing ... Her determination was laughed at by him... I didn't even blink & he reached her .... Grabbed her by hairs all the while laughing at her face and...me. He looked in my eyes with a sinister smile , challenging me to stop him and save her ... The more I struggled ,the weaker I got... I looked at her and she was looking at me with hope... She wanted to live ,for me to save her...but I.... (Crying in present)

He nonchalantly dragged her towards the never-ending darkness...which lit up just at the end to give a glimpse of a door from which red light came ... He threw her in and smirked at me... conveying I failed... I failed to protect her... Soon after the area was submerged in her screams. Every of her scream caused me to double over in pain.. I could here the maniacal laugh of the formless creatures but was too weak to even be frightened by them... When the scream stopped and the door opened , he stood there , soaked.... in her blood.. I looked past him to see a glimpse of her dead body ..... I couldn't do anything... She died , she was killed mercilessly and I ... I ..

I wanted to cry but found myself too weak for that too... It was then I realised, I was in the same circle and he was advancing towards me...the only difference being the circle was of gold..

He was daring me to escape him and smirking at my incompetence in doing so... His eyes were conveying his intents for me , I was his next target... With each step he took ... Something in me broke... I felt choked and anxious.. the weakness grew ... I couldn't even move a finger..forget trying to get up ... The panic dread and doom I felt are indescribable..

Never had I felt this weak , this helpless , this worthless... (Crying uncontrollably in present) My eyes catched the dead eyes of the girl and all the fight left me... The last thing I saw before falling into the abyss of darkness was a bright golden light....

*

My eyes were swollen, throat constricted in pain and sobs wrecked ... I found myself in the arms of Karn.... He was holding me tightly, trying to calm my shivering body.... I took my time to calm down in his embrace...

Out of nowhere, all those scenes flash before my eyes. I immediately opened my eyes to evade them...

My eyes fall on the mirror. Looking back at me with eyes full of fear , unshed tears is my reflection...the reflection of the old me... The girl who was dependent on everyone, the girl who used to wait for permission even to make an appearance, the girl who feared everything and everyone and never took a stand for herself , the one who used to seek validation... The unconfident, insecure, pathetic, dependent, frightened little girl was looking back at me.... The girl I used to hate , the girl I still hate and maybe will always hate...

Not being able to see in the eyes of my past , I averted my eyes. I can't be that .... I can't become that pathetic again... I can't.... I ... I ... I won't... I won't become like that again... I had promised myself & a man can't break it or me...Nope..Never . I close my eyes and take some deep breaths....

My determination flares up ... When I open my eyes... I see myself, as confident, independent, strong and powerful. This is me...

At this moment I realised , the war isn't between good and bad or wrong and right... It's not between me or him ... It's a war about me... The weak and strong me... If I fall weak , he will win. He preys on weakness .For me to win , I will have to defeat my weak , insecure, unconfident and scared self ...

I'm not letting you win Meghdutt, not this time... U will have to pay for ruining my 6 months of sleep and peace , u will have to pay for ur every sin and I will make sure u do...

Looking up from my reflection, I see Karn , his eyes shining in pride, faith and... respect? For me? No!! Y would he, the Maharathi Suryaputra Karn have such high feelings of pride , faith and respect for a mere mortal like me?? Well!! He definitely can have those attributes... Afterall he was the only one in the ancient Mahabharata who had respected and appreciated each of his nemesis.... And it is his purity of heart that led to him being used by others.... But I won't let that happen this time...

Karn: U are one of the strongest women I have seen & I am proud of u...

Coming to nightmares... I don't want to scare u ... But I can't lie to u....

I nod at him to continue...

Karn: The things u described and how u described it... They seem like... Visions more than nightmares... It's as if someone is trying to speak to you through them...

I will find out about it...

I nod at him ...

Ananya: ... Thank you.

Karn: Don't thank me... I did what I should have done... & U only said no formalities...

Ananya: It's not a formality, I really am grateful to you for being here and handling this (gesturing towards herself) crying mess. & Sorry... I was so occupied with all this that I forgot to ask u about ur life , kingdom , Anga . I'm sorry...

Karn: Don't be because nothing extraordinary has happened.... Same pretty old things and all.... We can catch up on my life tomorrow... For now u have exhausted urself enough... Go to sleep...

Ananya: No!!! I'm not feeling sleepy.

& from sleep I remember why aren't u sleeping in ur room it's past midnight and what were u doing in my chamber so late?