“Let’s talk.”

“No.”

“Fine.” Joy stepped away from my door. How many times would she come here? I just... I was done with this. This too much to ask. Too much to expect from me. I’d already been dragged into this whole thing, but it was getting harder and harder to even pretend that we were... good? Good? What was good about this? About any of this?

“How long are you going to skulk?” Vespa’s annoying little hornet voice wasn’t helping matters at all. “This is just how things are.”

“I don’t like it,” I said. “Okay? It doesn’t have to make sense. I know this is how things work here. But I refuse to... to... that thing isn’t even Carmen anymore. It isn’t even human.”

“What, and Joy is not human, either?”

That wasn’t quite right. “I... she’s just really good at...”

“You are not being sensible. If she is human, then—"

“Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up! Maybe I should take a page out of Thea’s book and trap you under a cup for a while. Anything. Just shut up and leave me alone.”

At that, Vespa retreated to a corner of the room, finally letting me skulk in peace. I lay down on the rough covers, just trying to take in everything. I hadn’t even had the opportunity to think about Carmen and... and everything surrounding her before we’d gotten swept up in this siege thing. We’d be fighting humans. My mom was here. My mom was here! My eyes turned to the portrait of my parents sitting on the shelf. What was I even after, now, then? I’d been jumping from person to person, place to place, always just surviving, just trying to deal with whatever the Demons and Angels had been throwing my way.

What did I want?

Really, what did I actually want? Thinking back to this fall... I’d wanted a double life. I’d wanted something to spice up the bland and uninteresting world I was stuck in. A way to break free from the constraints and expectations that my parents had placed on me. And to give credit where credit was due, that certainly had happened. But I’d only exchanged one set of constraints for another. I felt so far removed from the high school student I’d been just months ago. And all the while Alice was probably... probably still fretting about university. My classmates’ biggest concerns would be how well they’d perform on the math contests or what they’d wear to prom, or... I sighed. It was pointless to think about any of that now.

After my parents had been.. taken. Sold? I’d chased after them. I found Sanctuary 73, and met the Angels there. I got involved with Thea, and I’d... I’d kinda gotten sidetracked from there, hadn’t I? All the stuff with Ecto and the snow and ice, and the armada from Mali... but ultimately it had been for my parents. And then they hadn’t reappeared. Because something far more than Ecto had been involved. And now mom was with Blood Thunder... was I supposed to join them? To defect... or something? Was that even possible for me? Certainly it wouldn’t be allowed, and if I left, the other Angels would take notice. I wanted to... I wanted to talk to her at least. To figure out was going on. My mom wasn’t like, evil, or anything. And she wasn’t gullible either. And if she was here, where was my dad? Maybe that was what I wanted first. To just... talk to my mom. To see where I wanted to go.

Now how could I talk to her?

Who would know where she was? I could always just hope she found me during one of the attacks, but that was far from an ideal situation. I mean, if she saw me there, what was I supposed to do? Fight her? Kill her? No way. But if she was a genuine danger to us... to me... what would I even do? There was always the spy, though. Or spies. Nep had insisted over and over that there were some. Some people betraying our locations to the Demons and to Blood Thunder. If only I could find the spy...

Well, Grace seemed to know a thing or two about these Demons. And she knew their names, and their.. personalities? That was a little suspicious, I supposed. That would be a good place to start, wouldn’t it?

Okay then. What about this whole conflict in general? In Vancouver, things had seemed so easy and simple. I couldn’t believe I was saying that, but it was true. Ecto was the bad guy who’d taken away my parents. And ultimately, we stopped him. Sure, it had made us look bad, but that was a minor thing in the grand scheme of things. But now, though the Demons we were facing were far more ruthless and violent than Ecto had ever been... the series of revelations about the Angels and our own place had made me sick. Even though I knew that they were evil, I couldn’t help but wonder if we were doing any better. No free will, our futures predestined in some grand tapestry, even if that meant... that meant whatever had happened to Carmen. Not to mention the more aggressive, militaristic place, the divisions, the Flights, the Archangels and their bodies, and...

And Viviana. Oh, I still hadn’t forgotten her. The leader of us all. And yet even the thought of her terrified me still. Even though the was small, and had been friendly (to me, at least), something had to be up with her. She looked down upon the others in such a cold, calloused way, saying nothing to the other Angels because they didn’t even... deserve it? She had such a superiority complex. But then again, it seemed like she knew what she was doing better than anyone else. With one touch, she’d let me see everything so much more clearly: the Angels, the Demons, the Echoes, all extraneous information blotted out from my consciousness. At the same time, it felt even more invasive than being an Angel was on its own, especially when her touch had such a compulsive power in it. It was like her fingertips could tap straight into my nervous system and hijack it. She was... hiding her true intentions. That was what it had seemed, when she’d talked to me. But just what was she planning?

Could we even plan things? If we didn’t have free will... then... ugh, just thinking about it made my head hurt. It didn’t matter regardless.

Another knock at the door. Again? “Look, I already told you, I don’t want to talk.”

“I wasn’t asking.” The voice was not Joy’s. It was crisp and thin, but clear. Nearly hypnotic. Her voice demanded I open the door, though the words the words were never spoken. I simply understood. My mind barely registered my body getting up and moving, turning the handle and opening the door to... “Viviana.”

The Archangel of Flight Magister. The head of all of the Angels. She stood before me in her complete imago: warm, golden-bronze armour covered her petite body, her eyes a smooth black visor, her head crowned with leaves. Her honey-coloured wings were folded neatly behind her back. In her hand, she bore the bright, translucent green sword, which was stained with blood. I kind of wanted to ask whose it was, but held my tongue. I suddenly felt like I didn’t want to know. “Hello, Quinn. How are you?” I was scared. Why was I scared? She was greeting me in a friendly tone. All I needed to do was respond.

“So what are you doing here?” Immediately I regretted my words. Surely that was too casual. Way too casual. “I mean... I mean—”

Angrily, she stepped right up to me, grabbing me by the shoulder and roughly pulling my back against her chest. She held the blade to my throat. My heart was pounding in my chest. How? What? Had she overheard my... my thoughts? Would this be the end? She put her cold, carapaced fingers on my shoulder. “Are you for us?”

“I am,” the words spilled out of my mouth immediately.

She immediately withdrew her sword and stepped back, her wings opening up and flapping once or twice in excitement. “I’m so glad,” she said. “Well, now that that’s out of the way, we can get to the real purpose of my visit.”

“The real purpose?”

Viviana laughed. “Your classmate, of course.”

“My classmate?” Oh. Carmen. Or not-Carmen. “I see.”

She stepped closer to me again, her wings still fluttering every few moments, sending little puffs of air through my hair. “I know it must be challenging for you, Quinn, but you need to hurry up and accept her. She is your sister now.”

I didn’t really want to think about this now, but her voice conjured up pictures of my friend. I mean, I’d only known her for a short while, but still... her body was being completely controlled by something else now. Maybe it would’ve been easier if she’d merely died. “Why does she have to look the same as Carmen did?” I asked.

“That is her body,” said Viviana. “That is all there is to it. Carmen was a lesser vessel, simply safeguarding the body before the one growing inside her could inherit it. It is a perfectly natural part of the lifecycle. You know this. Joy has told you this, too.”

“I...”

‘It is merely your own psychological weakness that gives you trouble, Quinn. Can you overcome it.”

Did I even want to overcome it? “It’s a perfectly normal human response.”

“You are not human anymore,” she said, pricking her finger against the tip of her sword. The hemolymph that oozed out was emerald-green. “You cannot afford to be merely human as an Angel. You are a daughter of Earth. An inheritor of Gaia’s power. Your allegiance is to more than just what is human and familiar to you.” Her voice softened. “We need you, Quinn. To lead, to guide, to kill Demons. Not skulking in your room.”

‘I want more time,” I said. “There’s so much to take in. Can’t you just give me—”

“We don’t have time,” said Viviana. “Look, the enemy is on our doorstep. They attack our kingdom. They tear us apart. And now that they have captured one of us—and may she hold fast in her conviction—the whole world is about to take notice. The whole world will have to choose sides. If you remain in here, thinking about yourself about what you want, this whole world of yours will collapse around you. It is the time of action, and this should be the least of your concerns.”

“I never asked for any of this!”

“None of us did!” She spread her wings wide, the sudden flash of golden-amber stunning me for a second. “None of us wanted this. But we were chosen for a reason. Now please cease this whining.”

“I...” Perhaps I’d been being selfish. The whole world really was at stake. If that was true, then why even care about my own issues, my own worries, my own desires... when there was so much more to worry about? My old friends, my family... they were about to be dragged into this too, weren’t they? And... oh.... “I’m sorry,” I said.

“Or, I can make you okay with it,” she said. Through her plated, expressionless visage, I got the impression that she was smiling. “It’ll just take a touch. Just one little touch. Nothing to worry about. And you’ll have no more angst about it. Why, I could do that for all your worries. You’re worried about so many things, aren’t you?”

She took another step forward, and I recoiled. What was this?

“If you want me to, I can take those things away. You won’t ever worry about them again. You’ll be able to focus on what is... important.”

“I... I think I’ll be fine.”

She stepped back, her posture sagging. “What a shame. But if that’s what you want, you can have it. As long as you’re ready to be have like a proper Angel.” She turned around and headed out the door.

And Joy came in.

She was not in her Imago, no. Her hair was still dark, the bluish streaks faded now into vague greenish bands. She’d made no effort to put on makeup tonight, though she was still wearing her black gloves under her plain white uniform. She took one step into the room and closed the door behind her. She stood stiff in the awkward silence before speaking tersely “Thank you.”

“Thank you?”

“For um... for having my back there. I realized I didn’t thank you the other day.” She closed her mouth and continued standing right by the door, refusing to meet my eye.

“You’re mad at me?”

“Yes, I’m mad at you,” she said. “Or, I’m... you know, I looked up to you, Quinn. I’d heard of what you’d done in Vancouver, saw what you did here... and you were Vespa’s host. So I guess I thought you’d be different.”

“Different?”

“That you wouldn’t treat me like I’m a monster. I mean, I explained everything to you. But as soon as Carmen is gone, you just can’t handle it. I know it’s hard, but I expected better. Because.. because...”

“Because what? What do I owe... that thing?”

“Quinn.” She put her hands on my shoulders and shook me. “I was ‘that thing’. I know what it’s like to have the only person you think you know turn against you. Remember, Carmen was ready for this. She told you that. So you need to be ready for... for... Faith.”

“Faith?”

“That’s her name, Quinn. Just like I have mine, okay? Stay calm. I know it’s confusing, but try to have empathy for her, too. She didn’t ask to be born. She didn’t ask to take Carmen’s place. She’s just as confused as you are, and, on top of that, the only one she really knows... is you.” She took my hands. The fabric was rough against my skin.

“I’m sorry,”

“Don’t worry. I forgive you,” said Joy. She finally looked me in the eye and smiled. “Now, do you think you’re ready to meet her again?”

“I can try.”

I heard footsteps coming down the hall, and voices with them. I recognized Melody, gently encouraging the other. And though it was Carmen’s voice, I understood it wasn’t Carmen who was talking. This was Faith.

She stood before me in Carmen’s body, but wearing a white uniform. White because she was part of Flight Magister as well now. She looked straight at me, no shyness in her eyes. None of the hesitation that Carmen had been full of. “Quinn,” she said. I still found the combination overwhelming. “Hello.”

“Hello,” I just about managed.

“I’m Faith. My symbiote is Trogus.” And at those words, a glossy orange wasp crawled out from her collar, buzzing out on its shiny blue wings. “I... I’ve been watching you plenty. Um... behind Carmen’s eyes. I’ve always been in there. I know it’s kind of weird, but I... I still want to be friends with you.” She held out her hand.

It was still too overwhelming. I couldn’t... “I’m sorry, Faith. Let’s take things a little slower. Okay?”

“Quinn!” Joy started.

Melody hugged Faith “It’s okay—”

“Both of you stop.” Faith said, slowly nodding her head. “Thank you, Quinn. I look forward to working with you in the future.”

***

That night, I heard the scratching, scratching, claws against stone, driving me crazy. Vespa couldn’t hear it, but I could, and I knew who it was. My body knew who it was.

“Thea,” I said.

“I expected more of you, Quinn,” she said. “You’re just going along with whatever they want you to do and whoever they want you to be. Whatever happened to thinking for yourself? Whatever happened to what you want?”

“I still know what I want,” I said. “I’m going to talk to my mom. I’m going to get to the bottom of Blood Thunder. I’m going to get my parents back. But I can’t just abandon the Angels to do that.”

“Why not? What’s stopping you?” She seemed even closer tonight, But my body wasn’t reacting anymore. No bloodlust. Perhaps that was for the best.

“Because... because...” Even though they’d done all that. Even though they were asking so much, pushing the boundaries of what I was willing to do...

“Because they’re in the right?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure about that? I mean, she just came in here and walked all over you. She trampled all over your self-identity, your agency, your feelings. She even threatened to completely take them away, if you wanted.”

“As if you have it any better,” I mumbled.

“Pardon?”

“Okay, that’s enough, Thea. I’m not going to answer any more of your questions tonight. But, if you still want to chat, I have some questions for you.”

Thea giggled. “Ask away.”

“How well do you know Quetzal and his lieutenants?”

“Ollie, Mia, and Dawn? They’re serious, alright. All of Quetzal’s are. So, so, serious. They’re no fun to hang around. They’re all narrow-minded, like Ecto. Though at the very least they’re more competent than him. As for Quetzal... I mean, he’s an Archdemon. Of course I know him. But I’m still young, so they let him and the other Archdemons take charge... oh well. Archdemon of Empires... you understand his plan now, don’t you? You guys made it so easy after the stunt Ecto pulled, you know.”

“He’s going to turn the people of Earth against us.”

“That’s right! You win. I hope you enjoy killing humans. Because tomorrow, all hell is going to break loose.”