Jed, and Mule had drove all night long. Their car's energy stone had never been able to be fully charged. That had limited reserves in a deep jungle camouflaged garage that the human empire had now discovered evicting them in the process. The morning birds flew overhead as they puttered up a hill.

“We just made that one I would say Jed, I think we better hope there’s a town coming up” said Mule chewing on a reed he had brought in his donkey sack.

“Yeah if I see any town I'm planning on skipping it,so how about shutting that trap to conserve my nerves” yelled the driver, swerving a curb.

“You could live in a monastery for a thousand years and they still couldn’t make a monk out of you” said Mule grinning.

“Enough!” demanded Jed smacking the steering wheel.

Mule's point proved he remained silent as they continued to ride. He thought it funny how a man who claimed to give a damn about free will let himself be so totally controlled by his emotions.

The road had grown muddy like the contents of a pig pen. A steep downhill before a stone bridge sat over some kind of river. Jed gripped the wheel straining to concentrate on holding her steady as they barrelled down. Mule looked forward as they continued to gain speed. The bridge was coming in hot.

“Watch out for that bridge bump!” yelled the passenger.

“Too late,” said Jed.

The race car hit the ramp leading to the stone bridge, and everyone went airborne. Jed looked down as they flew high crossing over the river, and then to the other side of the train tracks.

“SPLASH!”

They had come crashing off the tracks into a swampy bog. Mule spit out swamp water. Jed struggled to force the door open trapped by water pressure. Lilies, and thick blankets of green algae still edged the pond but the crash had muddied the waters directly around them.

“Great just great” said Jed climbing out the window.

“Splash”.

“Hee haw ha ha” said Mule from the passenger seat.

A spray of water that looked like it came from a small whale came up with a fit of coughing.

“Mule get out here we gotta keep on marching” said Jed struggling for air.

“No kidding you really are back in soldier mode now huh” said Mule climbing into the driver's seat.

He stuck his head out the window then bent to the water. Face to face with the swimmer.

“Come on,” said Jed treading water.

Water was dripping off his mangy black hair covered in kelp he wiped away.

“Let me just angle myself best to avoid your fate” said Mule, getting ready to jump out the window.

“Never mind all that nonsense wet is wet..gasp splutter splutter” said Jed being pulled under.

“Splash” said Mule, diving underwater.

Jed thrashed his arms while his legs remained constricted in the murky pond held together by a large snake-like creature slowly cutting off his circulation from below. Of all the things to kill him, he would be drowned, and feasted on by a smaller eel.

Four legs kicking a pounding dive down to the predator wrapped around its prey. Mule turned around looking to get set at the perfect angle, then he kicked and kicked. The eel hit in the head by two hoofs recoiled away fading into a thick green mat of plant growth knocked unconscious.

Jed was also out cold. Mule grabbed onto his tunic with a soft bite and pulled him to the surface. The donkey was a good swimmer. Jed’s body quickly found itself drying on a beach in the morning heat. A space crab laid its eggs behind a rotten stick of driftwood.

“There we go,” said Mule, slinging Jed to his back.

He, being without thumbs, had his own ass backwards ways of doing things.

Gentle mist rose off the fauna from the evaporating water. A hummingbird purred close as a woodpecker worked a tree job far off. The monkeys remained uncharacteristically quiet.

Mule had not wanted to frighten Jed so he had kept him in the dark about the jungle's deadliest predator. Of all the things that stalked the underbrush the tigers remained kings of killing. A strict lone beast culture of stripes, discipline, knowledge gathering and never knowing love. Tigers were something you either successfully avoided or died.

The path traveled under the trees, vines and shrooms that hung overhead. A well worn path of exposed roots carved into the woods, and filled with a fallen mixture of needles, and spores. So somebody had to be dwelling nearby, and using the pond as their water supply. Around the next bend Mule came to a donkey chained to a redwood.

“Howdy,” said the donkey.

“Hey mister I take it there’s a village nearby?” asked Mule.

“What’s it to ya huh?” asked the donkey.

“My friend and I are in need of a lot of assistance, mister,” said Mule.

“You pay for it?” said the mangy donkey exposing a hairless neck on account of a collar too firm.

The beast began to scratch his dry back bone on a rigid rock near the tree he was chained. A mist of dead skin cells flew into the wind with each rub.

“You want a little piece of the pie?” said Mule raising an eyebrow before turning away his vision.

“Yes please” gulped the donkey stopping the scratch.

“You must serve somebody else, and we will pay whoever it is handsomely for both of your help in order to pull us out of this rock and a hard place we have submerged ourselves into” said Mule.

“I’m afraid master is on vacation leaving me chained between this here rock and tree,” said the donkey.

“I see you're in the same kind of predicament we are. Would you want me to cut you free, and join our journey” said Mule.

“No all I know is the farm, now just give me something valuable and leave me be” said the donkey.

Mule approached, and set down a small teleportation stone next to two half empty water and food dishes labeled “daisy”.

“You know how to use one of these teleports in case he doesn't come back. This one this small isn't much too take you a distance just outside your shackles” said Mule.

“Ooooh shiny, so pretty” said Daisy inspecting her newest jewel.

“Where can I find town Daisy, by the way name Mule” said Mule.

“Huh, how you know my name?” Daisy asked, confused.

“Never-mind where's town?” said Mule.

“You look like trouble,” she said.

Mule continued on the path with Jed strapped to his back leaving one more crystal behind for Daisy in a front to bring good fortunes. Luck appeared to be briefly on their side for ten minutes later distant village lights beckoned to them as the dusk approached.

Entering the village the scent entered Mule's nostrils long before his hoofs did. The overpowering pollution of heavy citrus dilution only became stronger as the path grew closer. It was powerful enough a combination to wake Jed who sputtered alive falling out and onto his ass.

“What on Tenare is that overpowering essence, some kind of poison cloud come to choke us out” said Jed, fastening a shirt over his nose and mouth from the floor.

“We’ve got no choice but to march forward for their stinking help,” said Mule.

He barreled forward shutting off smell receptors with a mind of stubborn pride. From where he lay Jed spotted a half visible trip wire reflecting as Mule pulled it with one leg.

“Nooo!” yelled Jed.

The forest floor came alive as a net below sitting camouflaged pulled itself tight. Jed and Mule flew up smashing together in a tight net. They had both found themselves caught in the same trap; swaying from high trapped in the trees.

“This isn't a good place to find ourselves snared trusted steed, for out here outside the domains of civilized men and women cannibals feed” cried Jed rocking.

Finally he found his knife and started cutting.

"Oh good you got us" said Mule.

The pair came tumbling to the ground where they rolled in pain. A crowd of many sharp spear tips had formed near their faces. Jed froze seeing the outlines of Crazins behind the weapons.

The captives found themselves paraded into the center of the village. A place of multistory rock huts fastened together with some sort of clay cement. In one area the huts were much nicer than all the others. A feeding area where a large snake was being chopped into food, a court to play some sort of ball based game, and then a palace or ritual area in the center fastened with human skulls with crystals put into their eyes. A large pool of bubbling orange took up the town center. The citrus stank was so funk Jed gagged involuntarily as they went by.

Man and Mule found themselves gently guided to the base of palace steps where they were left alone.

“Hello jungle friends, are you ready for today's show?” called an amplified voice from above.

The crowd behind them let out a ravenous applause as drums pounded along. Many flashing lights came on before a man painted purple and covered in nothing but tiger stripes, and bones covering his bone came onstage.

“At least if we are eaten it will be in style” said Mule laughing at the spectacle.

“Tribe our savers have arrived here, just in time to clear the citrus orchids, then truck, truck, truck our precious big rig load of jungle juice across the kingdom in record time” the host sang as a spotlight focused onto Jed, and Mule.

The crowd loudly cheered again.

“No more drought now we drink” screamed the purple man.

“What did we just get signed up for?” Jed stammered in shock.

“Who knows, just keep your mouth shut this time it’s better than being eaten” said Mule rolling his eyes.

Jed turned around as the crowd swarmed the pool behind them cupping the orange juice from hands lowered to the pull to then gulp into their mouths. Jed winced as one old man in a loincloth licked all he could off the floor. Mule pulled on Jed’s arm turning him back around. The purple chief waved at them descending the steps.

“Welcome to the village my name is Travis” said the purple man.

He extended both arms shaking a hand and hoof at the same time.

“You heard the missions we wish for you to do now what favors can I return for you” said Travis showing them into his quarters.

They pulled up stumps at a dining room table molded from fungus.

“It looks like you have more than enough manpower out there, so why oh why do you need us so badly?” demanded Mule.

“Good question, as you know the Empire loves schlock, but Crayzin tribal tradition calls for Jungle Juice instead of schlock. We are outlawed from its production but produce it in open secret anyhow. We are under constant watch so we need you to drive a tanker loaded with Jungle juice to our sister tribe in the Madlands, but first you will go with our warriors to free an Empire occupied citrus grove for ingredients' ' said the leader lighting a candle.

He sat down between them, putting a hand to pat each head.

“That contraption of yours was contaminating our drinking supply, currently it's being fixed up for you in the tribal garage” he finished.

“What is that? A stick shifting 18 wheeler crystal hauler loaded with jungle juice is well outside my wheelhouse I will need months of training” said Jed.

Travis went to speak but Mule cut him off at the first syllable.

“I’ve done just about everything for crystal, and driving big rigs with the wizard was one of them. When it comes to the art of trucking I'm a pro” said Mule grinning.

“Good to hear it first you will hit the weapon supply depot, then the orchid, and by first of tomorrow you will be trucking down Empire roads” said Travis whose many skulls almost looked like they were smiling along with him.

"I will drive ahead in my death dealing machine" said Jed.

Soldiers patrolled the citrus farm making sure the workers where picking enough fruit. The trees sprawled row after row as far as the eye could see. Every twelve rows a new fruit tree variety. At the front of the farm a big rig hauler was loaded with fruit.

"Boom!"

The rock wall on a far corner was blown in with a massive explosion. Jed sped into the whole in the wall plowing over a soldier, and several small trees. He restarted the engine before tearing off between the rows of fruit throwing back a stream of dirt. The soldiers out front unlocked the gate, and ran inside the farm to enforce.

With a bounding leap Mule ran to the big truck, his teeth ripping open the door in a swift flick of the jaw. He got inside uncapping the breaks and shifting the big engine into first gear. The Crazin warriors ran to the gate locking the soldiers inside the farm. At a nearby guardhouse the guard had already been stabbed a dozen times.

Mule picked up the receiver connected to the communication crystal onboard.

With a bounding leap Mule ran to the big truck, his teeth ripping open the door in a swift flick of the jaw. He got inside, uncapping the brakes and shifting the big engine into first gear. The Crazin warriors ran beside the truck to the gate where they locked the baited soldiers inside the farm. At a nearby guardhouse the guard was stabbed many times.

Mule picked up the receiver connected to the communication crystal onboard.

"Little buddy this is your friend Mr. EMule letting you know I got the juice all concentrated in one load'' said Mule.

The truck had 24 tires on each side, they flung mud as the pedal hit the metal, and the dirt roadside flew by.

"Roger" said Jed before he was cut off by static on the radio.

He smeared a guard into a red paste on the road before blowing a third into meatballs with the car's cannon. Another explosion rocked the orchid's rock wall. Jed flew out of the newly minted entrance burning rubber on the cobble street outside. He could see Mule hauling ass in the distance with his big rig.