The royal coffin was carried by a dozen. A heavy weight that sparkled in the sun and blinded eyes between all the crystals adorned to the gold painted final resting place and the guards' polished ceremony armor. A funeral procession that headed down to the sea where the citizenry awaited them. The red waves splashing up from the hot shores as the volcano bubbled underwater below the ledge. The trumpets began to play as the communication crystal further up the rocks was hammered by two drummers who were sectioned off from the crowd with an iron gate cage.

“Our history books will never forget that this king slayed a dragon, the greatest of honors for any life” said the eldest son, the rear guard.

“Let the black curtain roll,” said the eldest daughter holding the front.

And with that the king's empty sarcophagus was dumped into the volcanic waters. The crowd clapped and screamed in celebration as the executioner came down with his ax cutting open one spout after another on the kegs of shlock that had been brought. After giving troth to the crown, all gathered shoving each other on their knees and stomachs, lapping up liquor with tongues into the trough formed by a small dent in the rock.

Snaggy sat all alone in the throne room as the party raged outside. The sun had set, and king Mardin’s soul had long left his body now evidently self-contained in underground crystals at the center of the planet as the book of Smormox described. Death, as all death is, was natural and not something to be sobbed at in the kingdom. The jesters' soiled garments lay on the floor beside him as he reclined in the king's old throne in his underwear.

The door bashed open smacking the wall as Snaggy jumped and ran to cover himself up. He looked over to see the queen glaring at him.

"Uh your majesty I was just fooling around, summer is still heard, and you know the heat is very extreme" he managed to stutter out.

"What are you doing?" he said his face now bewildered.

Queen Elizibethy the 6th had him in an iron grasped hug squeezing him out like a snake. She smelled like she had been swimming in shlock and much of her weight was now resting on him holding her up.

"Oh" he said.

"Everyone needs some kind of love or touch Snaggory buuuurp even an evil witch like me" she slurred.

"Oh, well nothing is that black or white my lady, just a hug I hope you don't want to fool around with a fool ever especially in that state?" he said face red in embarrassment.

"Just one more minute of embrace an ifs you speak of this after you will be sleeping with the king" she said her voice getting meaner and already sounding more sober.

"Oh of course you can trust me more than any Bootlicker oh empress of the empire" said Jester remaining as still as a potato underground.

“What is your name pacifist?” asked Jed as they descended deeper into the dark.

The jester on the donkey could no longer be by himself because of the narrow path. Dirt from the tank treads was pushed over the edge from narrow margins and all they had was light from torches to guide the path. A cold stale breeze of death blew into them coming from the dwarven mines below.

“I’m Ned” he said, taking out a book to sketch in the dim light.

“Nice to meet you I am Jed” said the man walking beside the donkey rider.

They were in formation in front of the mechanized vehicles.

He pointed to the soldier at his side who was still alive but pale and grim, already resembling a zombie. Those whose souls blunted so much on their return, much of it not returning from the afterlife of the crystal when the corpse was resurrected.

“Your friend doesn’t look well, friend,” said the pacifist.

“I know but there is nothing I can do to help him” said Jed, his face worn with worry.

The pacifist reached into one of the donkey pouches pulling out a wrapped tin.

“Here, my friend gives this to our friend to chew. It will give him strength as his vitamins look low,” said fool.

“Ok I trust you, but you have to understand a man that goes to war with no weapons I strongly suspect of being mad” said Jed taking the chew with a suspicious mind.

The other laughed.

“Yes that does make sense to me. A man who will die before he kills another probably does look very strange to you” he said.

“Yes indeed at least you seem to be self aware” said Jed looking away over at Fred.

“I do believe in things very strongly, I think. To treat others creatures with respect, with who we all share this land that lives and breathes, if you listen close to the trees. Besides you already let that witch doctor have a go at him. What harm could another quake hope to accomplish” said Ned.

“Very well I suppose he does not have much to lose” said Jed feeding his friend who ate from his palm.

“Very well I suppose he does not have much to lose” said Jed.

He was feeding his friend who ate from his palm as many soldiers snickered from behind.

An hour later they were still headed down hill. The sunlight no longer could be seen at all above, and the air had started to become oppressively stale. The only thing that had slightly brightened was Fred's face.

“Dead dwarf ahead!” yelled the soldier in the very front.

“Soldiers ready arms!” screamed the biggest commander.

Five hundred swords sounded scraping out of pockets as the bows were drawn and crossbows were at the ready. The Trooper in the front pointed to the dead dwarf lying on the ground before four more came into the light, stacked in a pile.

“Stab em we don’t want any traps” a voice yelled as swords were inserted to check the dead for signs of life.

The little bodies crunched under heavy treads as the advance continued. A gust of wind blew up from the depths still below blowing out the torches. It was pitch black.

“MOOOOORAAAKAAA!” was loudly chanted by a hundred voices bouncing off the walls.

A loud deep horn of battle sounded after.

“Relight your torches men!” yelled a commander as sparks of flint flew all around.

“MOOOOOORAAKA!” was yelled again getting closer.

“BOOM!” the tank behind them shot its cannon over the soldiers heads into the dark.

“AAAAAAAAAA” screamed Fred falling to a heap on the floor.

"Out of the way you weak waste of space," said a soldier pushing past as another kicked the fallen man as he laughed.

Ned got off his ass slapped its rear sending it back to safety. He stood beside Fred helping him up off the dirt as Jed drew his sword in front of them ready to attack.

"It is time to go to your happy place soldier take my hand. You as well Jed join me in prayer" said the jester calmly.

Jed was silently focused on offense not looking behind. Ned quickly down and took off his boot then turned it upside down and began to shake it out.

"Hmmm I know I put that somewhere" he said taking off his other shoe.

"Ahah" he grunted as out of the jester's footwear he pulled a dirty sock.

The pair walked up behind Jed one leading the other as Ned dumped something out of his sock in the dark.

"Jed do you hear me asked?"

"Yes, I will defend the both of you as long as I remain on my feet there is no need to fear death," said Jed.

"You will come with me and your friend to a happy place far from here if you wish. There is no sense in dying in this pointless war" said Ned hold Freds hand.

"Do you understand they will kill us if we turn around, I didn't plan on dying down here but sometimes with life there's nothing you can do but go down fighting tooth and nail"

"hmmmf I might have a few magic tricks up my sleave, young man" said Ned touching Jed back with a crystal very cold.

"Oh boy," said Jed.

"Poof"

It was still dark, but all sounds of battle had gone quiet. Peepers made peeping noises, a frog croaked, and the sound of ocean waves hit some kind of shore.

"Where are we?"

"A happy place".