1749

~Tove

This is probably a big mistake.

Raising my fist, I knock quickly on the door before I can decide against it. My courage is waning, even if I am excited to see my mate tonight.

He answers after at least a minute, rubbing a hand down his face tiredly until he see's it's me standing at his doorway.

"Is everything okay?" He asks, looking over me and past me, as if harm may have suddenly befallen me.

It is the middle of the night. Mary and I go carried away talking, and now, I'm standing at Keo's door at a time that can hardly be excused as innocent.

"Yes...everything is fine," I force out uncomfortably. The reality of my decision has settled on my shoulders.

Keo relaxes, leaning against the doorframe.

"Oh. Good."

He looks beyond tired. His dark hair is all mussed, messily draped down over his forehead and ears. His eyes are shadowed by a lack of sleep, and considering all the stress he's under, I'm not surprised.

"I wanted to talk to you," I tell him softly, as someone may overhear.

Other than Mary in the wing on the other side of the house, we are entirely alone.

He steps back, motioning into the room. "Of course. Come in."

I wander in, flinching a little at the click of the door closing. I like Keo's room here, I decide. It has large glass doors - which are a useless addition considering the weather- that showcase the blizzard gathering outside.

My eyes can't help but drift toward the bed, which looks both wonderfully comfortable and terrible sinful at the same time.

Keo doesn't say a word, watching me cautiously.

"Look...I want to thank you for bringing Mary to me. I feel a lot better," I tell him in one breath.

I'm hyper aware of how awkward this moment is. Keo stares at me with passionate intensity, knowing that I haven't just come to his room in the middle of the night to thank him.

"You have a lot of potential, Tove. You just need to get out of your head," he affirms.

I rub the back of my neck. "Yeah. You're probably right."

If he wasn't looking at me, I would be physically wincing. I'm aware that I'm the one that should be coming clean with my intentions for being here, but it's more difficult than I anticipated.

"Is something else going on?" He prompts softly, sensing I'm holding back.

I look up at him, at those earnest eyes. Keo rarely brings his guard down, even around me, and right now, in his tired state, his vulnerable emotions are laid out before me.

"Are you not attracted to me?" I whisper, almost hopeful he doesn't catch it.

He frowns. "What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. You flirted with me so much when I first came here. Now that you know I'm your mate, it's like you don't want me," I admit sheepishly, shrugging my shoulders.

Heat is blooming in my cheeks as I face my own insecurities. I don't want to be special to Keo, not when it means my entire life will shift off it's course and into an unknown future...

And yet, I don't want this space between us. I don't want to be strangers.

"I'm respecting your boundaries," he tells me slowly, picking his words with care.

"I know that..." I rub my hand over my face, feeling foolish already. I'm subjecting him to a pointless conversation that is only going to make me feel worse.

"Do you?" He takes a step forward. "You made it clear, Tove, that you don't see us having any chance together. I didn't want to push you."

I turn around for a moment, needing to break my gaze away from him.

"I'm sorry. I'm being ridiculous," I mutter, shaking the thoughts from my head. He's right, I did tell him to give me space, that it wouldn't work, and I still believe.

It's just currently fighting a battle with the other part of me that is heavily influenced by the mate bond.

"I've taunted you with sex before to make you feel something, so you could harness your magic," he explains gently, like I'm a mindless fool who needs everything regarding a relationship spelled out to me.

"Right..."

Keo takes another step at me, looking like he's considering touching me. "It's not because I don't think you're attractive. In fact, your beauty has always taken me off guard."

I look up at him with wide eyes. My beauty? Has he seen himself? Sometimes I forget he's real and not something I conjured up for my own pleasure.

"Really?" I breathe. This isn't helping the state of my red cheeks.

He touches the ends of my hair, twisting a lock around his finger. "I don't admit this often, Tove, but I am painfully attracted to you."

It feels as though all the breath has been knocked from my lungs.

"Oh..."

His gaze darkens. "Why did you come here tonight, to my room, Tove?"

I don't do anything, I know what will happen. Keo will kiss me, and I'm not going to have the strength within me to stop him. Not when my body calls for him at every hour of the day.

"My head has been all over the place recently," I admit, smoothing my sweaty palms down my sides. "I'm finding it harder to stay away from you."

"It's the mate bond," he tells me.

"It's scaring me," I whisper. I hate not having control over it, of feeling things that cannot be justified in my mind, and yet I continue to feel.

Keo doesn't look scared. He's always put together. He always knows what to do and say, and something like a mate bond probably has no control over him.

He may be attracted to me, but he doesn't seem to struggle with keeping his distance from me.

"There is nothing to be afraid of. I'm not going to hurt you," he murmurs. He is close enough to share a breath with me, silently tempting me to let go of what haunts me, to delve deep into uncertainty.

My gaze drifts to his lips for a second. "Maybe not physically..."

His fingers graze against mine, tentative, asking. He not pushing me, just waiting, gauging my reaction.

"There is a lot I can do to you physically," he whispers, watching my face as he leans closer. I'm as still as death, not wanting to ruin the moment as his breath brushes against my ear. "Let me show you."

My eyes flutter closed as I feel his hair brush against my cheek, his scent enveloping me. So softly I almost miss it, he kisses my neck, causing chills to race across my skin.

"We probably shouldn't," I mumble distractedly. I don't pull away though. It feels too good.

"Why not?" He kisses my skin again, hands drifting to my waist. I don't protest as he pulls me fully against him.

I can feel his heart beating steadily behind his ribs, while mine races uncontrollably. His hands grip me even tighter as I dare reach out, setting my palms against his chest.

"I don't remember," I admit as he mouth drifts up my neck, along my jawline and to my lips, where he pauses.

"Let me kiss you," he murmurs against them.

"Okay," I concede.

The moment the word leaves my mouth, he's kissing me, holding me so tight against him I'm convinced we are going to mould together to become one.

He kisses me like he's stealing my breath away, sweeping his tongue through my mouth like he owns me. I respond with equal passion, winding my fingers through his hair, pulling sharply.

He growls into my mouth, pushing me toward the bed.

After months of tension, I feel like I'm drowning in him, overwhelmed by the relief of finally being this close to him.

His mouth draws away from mine long enough for him to push me down onto the bed. The force of it rattles me a little until I see him standing over me, and my fear melts into excitment.

That look in his eyes...he's painfully irresistible.

He kisses me again, leaning over me again. My hands run down his back, feeling the hidden muscle shifting as he holds himself barely above me, his hips pressing against mine.

My skin is hot, burning in every place it touches Keo. I want all our clothes off. I want nothing between us.

His hands shift from holding my face to down my body. When he grabs my hips, pulling them against him harder, something sharp shoots through me.

Pressing my hands against his chest, I shove him off me.

I'm not strong enough to actual control his movements, but upon feeling my protest, he immediately backs away, leaving me lying breathless on his bed.

"You feel too good..." I tell him, my voice trembling as I come to terms with what I nearly let him do to me.

He sweeps a hand through his hair, examining with a playful smile on his face.

"Is that a bad thing?" he questions.

"One more second and I...I don't know what I would have done." I sit up, wiping my hair back off my face. I'm sweating, flushed with heat.

"It's okay."

"If we didn't stop it would complicate things," I tell him, standing up again. My legs shake beneath me, threatening to give out.

Keo looks far too good right now. His hair is messy and unkempt from where I ran my hands through it, and unspoken desire swirls in his eyes.

"I'd invite you to spend the night with me, but I don't trust myself around you," he admits, pacing back and forth.

His muscles look tense, as if he really is physically fighting with himself.

"You're probably right. I should go." I stand up quickly, heading toward the door.

"If you ever decide you don't care if things get complicated, let me know," he exclaims as my fingers brush against the door handle. His tone sounds joking, but I know there's a hint of truth in there.

"Alright..." I say quickly, knowing that if I linger a moment longer, I'll take up his offer too soon.

🖤••🖤

~Midika 💜🐼