If only,

I could lean on your shoulder without the feeling

Of butterflies fluttering around in my stomach;

A warmth setting into my soul

And my brain filling with serotonin.

If only,

I could speak out loud the words I write

Each one describing you beautifully,

Telling you how your eyes remind me of rain

And whisper I love you under my breath.

If only,

I could learn to let go of feelings that hurt me,

Things that are never meant to be.

To accept that life is what it is,

This is the meaning of reality.

If only.

The two saddest words of existence

Filled with thoughts of what could've been

Or what I could've done

And what I wish to be.