《Why Did I do This to Myself?!? (One Piece Fanfic)》Life Be Like That
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Jinx's POV:
Do... Do these guys know what there doing? That guy over there tripped on something and fell unconscious, and that one's just waving his sword around with his eyes closed! I thought this would be a challenge!!!
"Why..." Is the only thing that falls out of my mouth.
After my amazing entrance, they screamed demon and started freaking out. It kinda hurt my feelings in all honesty, now I remember why I wore a mask in public. Im not even doing anything anymore!
"Quickly! Get to the ship!" One of the pirates yells out.
"What about the others?" One says looking towards there unconscious captain.
"It's too late for them! Go before that monster takes us all!!" Now that's just mean.
Wait...
Ship.
Sssshhhhiiiiipppp...
.
.
.
Right! The hole reason I did something was to stea- borrow there ship!
Man do I feel stupid.
Taking a step forward I hear a squelch sound. I wanna die ;-;. Looking down I see I've stepped in there captains vomit, that he's still laying in.
"Damnit, I just got these!" This sucks.
Whipping the gross liquid off on the unconscious body, I headed in the direction on there ship. After getting out of view of the shocked towns people I broke into a dead sprint.
"Stupid shoe, stupid cowards, stupid stupid stupid!" I grumble starting to get irritated.
Seeing a ship in the distance I came across a realization. These guys actually don't know what there doing! Like I new something was wrong when they freaked out like that but this just takes the cake.
They were trying to sail away but didn't pull the anchor up, so there probably gonna damage the ship if they keep this up. Screw that! That ship's gonna be mine- taken care of by me for the foreseeable future.
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I need a nap...
Latching myself onto the side of the ship, I used my good hand to start to pull myself on deck. "Ga, what the fu-" Just as I was about to successfully pull myself up a bristly thing his me in the face, multiple times.
"Would you stop that!" I shout getting annoyed.
"No!" This is either one of three things, there stupid, there high or worst of all, there vegan. Im betting on the first one.
Being completely over the hit the thing with a broom till it goes away thing, I move to the right keeping my my hold, lock my left arms elbow pit on the railing, use my right hand to grab the top of the railing and flip my body over the god forsaken railing! Getting up after faceplanting onto the deck, my head snaps in the direction of the person with that dam broom. To increase the panic levels of nearby individuals I made a loud crack sound when I did so.
I need so stop landing on my face, I think my nose is bleeding again... Making eye contact with this jerk he pulled a horrified expression and promptly passed out. Good.
Walking over I rip the broom from his clutch, and smack his face with it. "Jerk." Heaving out a sigh, I walk over to the mast.
"Now that's bad." To host the sail you need to pull two ropes at the same time. Why did I remove my left hand again?
This is why you leave people conscious, now I need to convince someone to help my disabled ass. Tightening my grip on the broom, I decide to get everyone one of these posers on deck- wait, isn't there someone trying to steer the ship?
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Because acting like a normal person is boring I decide the best course of action for my entertainment is to do a hulk jump up to the ship's helm. Right before committing to my dumb idea I remember these people are scared of existence. Damnit! Fine I'll use the stairs >:(.
Reaching the top of the stairs I see two guys trying to get the ship to move. It's kinda like watching a child try to drive a car but they forgot to put it in drive. Haha, Comedy.
How do I not scare man children... Do they have cereal? Using haki to locate the kitchen, in doing so I discover a majority of the pirate crew relocated themselves there... Fudge this, I'm just gonna act like I belong there and hope they don't notice.
Opening the door to the kitchen a loud squeaking noise is heard. Why has thou door betrayed me, whoa is me. For life do be like that sometimes.
Awkwardly shuffling to there cabinets, I somehow manage to step on ever god damn squeaky board on my way there. Why does this ship have so many squeaky floorboards?!? The worst part was the inhabitants of the room just watched me with there judgy eye.
After what felt like a eternity, I finally reach the damn cupboard. Opening the pantry door an unbearable squeak is released as the door slowly opens. Just kill me now.
Looking inside I see a cereal box. Now I wanna take it, but there's like this little voice in the back of my head the yelling at me to leave. It's probably fine.
While reaching for the box it moves, causing me to retract my hand and slam the cabinet shut. "What in gods name is wrong with you people?!" I impulsively screech out.
"That's not very nice." Looking in the direction of the voice I come face to face with a intimidating figure.
"Look, I'm not really trying to be rude but I don't think anyone here his fit to be any kind of criminal." I reply in the calmest voice I can muster.
This seems to piss this guy off as he gets up from his seat and sends a nasty glare in my direction. Standing up to his full hight he tower's over me.
Well I'm dead, as my last request I'd like the box labeled do not open to be thrown into a volcano.
Word count: 1008
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