I've been thinking what to wear since I got home yesterday, after my 'date' with Zach. I wanted something casual, yet very feminine and at the same time something he'd like. I went for a long sleeve fuscia blouse, leggings and black ballerinas. My face had a tad of makeup on the lips and eyelashes, trying to make my eyes pop out. Bella had a family dinner, that was the reason she wasn't here helping me out with this crisis, but Alex and Zoey were thrilled to join me tonight. To be honest I was nervous and confused and excited. I had a mixture of emotions playing around inside of me.

I threw myself on the bed, feeling the soft texture of my eiderdown and my mind planning every possible scenario occurring today. Thinking about what could go wrong and what could go right. What if his girl arrives and sees me and she feels like I want to jump into him and make out with him and steal him away from her. I just hated this. Always over thinking and over analyzing everything, when will I ever stop?

I heard a knock on the door. ''Lily, your friends are here.'' My mother said, slightly opening the door, noticing me lying on the bed like a sea star.

''Thanks mom.'' I stood up from the bed and in a matter of seconds Alex and Zoey's footsteps on the stairs were breaking down the silence living in the house.

They entered the room. ''I love your blouse!'' Alex said, pointing at it, with a happy expression on her face.

''Thanks!'' I hugged her and then I hugged Zoey, they sat on the bed as I stood in front of them, wanting to speak about something really important. ''Okay girls,'' I put my hands together. ''I hope everything goes right tonight, because we are going to Matt Galdieri's party.'' Stating the obvious.

''But you need to calm down,'' Alex spoke, while Zoey nodded, agreeing to her comment. ''Don't get nervous and everything will be fine.''

''You really think so?''

''Of course,'' She rolled her eyes and then a smile stretched on her lips. A sigh escaped my lips as I tried to act chill about it, but truth is, I wasn't. I was nervous because I liked this guy and even though it was really weird and awkward every time we talked, he was something. ''But before we leave, we must speak about something.'' They both looked at each other and then their eyes were on me as they moved their eyebrows up and down.

''What?'' I questioned, confused.

''The date with Zach...''

''Oh,'' I let out a chuckle, before letting them know how it all went. ''It was a mess, he thinks I like him and I'm such a coward because I didn't let him know I wasn't into him.''

''Wait, what?!'' Their jaws dropped with surprise. I shook my head, chuckling in disappointment.

''He told me how he was feeling and before I could go on, my mom called and I just felt bad after I hung up, you know? I didn't want to break his heart.'' They had death glares on their face as I tried to understand them. In fact, I did. I was so stupid. I should've just told him the truth and he'd probably would've understand. But instead, I let the the truth be stuck inside of me.

''Oh Lily.'' Alex shook her head as I looked at them, completely lost as I remembered everything that happened yesterday. He opened doors for me, he payed the check, he took me home and he acted differently. He called me when he got home just to say he got safe and sound and that he wanted to go out tonight, but I said I couldn't because I had plans already and the tone in his voice changed.

''What if I give it a shot?''

''With who? Zach?'' Zoey asked, an indignant tone in her voice. Her eyes were wide open and so were Alex's. I nodded. ''Think about it twice.'' She warned.

● ● ●

I watched my mom's car become smaller in my sight as it slowly drove away from us. We stood outside of Matt's house, hesitating to ring the bell. The cold was starting to live in my bones, as I tried to warm myself up by blowing some air into my hands. For a second there the cold left, but then it came back. Damn it.

"This is so awkward." Alex spoke. I agreed with her, but didn't speak a word.

"For fucks sake." Zoey complained and rang the bell. I covered my face with my hand, as I could feel my cheeks turning bright red from the embarrassment. Zoey always jumped in head first, she didn't care about what people had to say and she was never scared of saying or doing things. That was something I admired from her, because I was never like that. Taking risks and speaking up my mind were such hard tasks for me, because I used to be insecure of my surroundings. Sometimes, I still am.

We heard heels clicking on the floor, as the sound became louder. The door opened. "Hi, are you here for Matt's party?" A beautiful lady was in front of us, she had Matt's eyes and nose, and her voice was sweet and soothing. Her long black hair cascaded on her shoulders and a smile was written on her lips.

"Yes." Zoey and Alex said together, I simply nodded. She let us in and showed us the way to the patio. The loud music was resounding in my head and I could easily hear giggles and people yelling. A swooping breeze made me shiver, as I tried to keep myself warm by rubbing my hands on my arms. Even though I was wearing a long sleeve blouse, it wasn't warm enough for me, the cold air could still pass through.

"Guys we are finally here." I whispered, glancing at them as we kept on walking toward the different groups of people who were enjoying the party.

"Shh." Alex said and I rolled my eyes. We found a bench, so we sat there, and the space was perfect for us three.

"So this is it." Zoey said as she stared blankly at the people walking around and drinking. They were complete strangers to us, of course some of them were from campus but no word has been traveled between them and us three, hence the fact they were complete strangers. I felt like a total outcast, just watching everyone and Matt was nowhere in sight.

"I feel like an outcast," My chin was rested upon the palm of my hand. "I mean, where is Matt?"

''I don't even know,'' Zoey paused. ''And your boyfriend's calling.''

''What?'' I looked at her, confused and then I noticed her finger was pointing at my cellphone. Zach Adam was written on the screen, so I stood up and walked a few steps away to answer his call. ''Hello?''

''Hi, I just wanted to see if you were having fun.'' Oh, Zach.

''I am, thanks for your concern.'' I pressed my lips together, as I waited for his reply. The loud conversations were making their way to my ears, so I raised my finger to my ear and pressed it. So I could only listen to Zach on the other line.

''Are you going to be free tomorrow?'' He asked, I simply rolled my eyes.

''Listen, I'm at a party and I'm with my friends,'' The tone in my voice was higher, for the purpose of being heard by him. ''The music's loud and it's hard to keep a conversation. Bye.'' I hung up, not letting him say anything else. I walked over to the girls and sat down on the same spot I was before. Between there was complete silence, we didn't know what to speak about. Until...

"Lily you came!" His voice made its way to my ears as my heart started to beat faster. He was excited to see me and that caused me some sort of joy in my insides. I stood up. His arms wrapped around me, my head burried in his chest as I didn't want to let go. I wanted to stay there, in his arms and I was praying for it to last longer. But seconds after, he let go.

"Nice party." I informed, as he greeted Alex and Zoey with a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, I'm glad you guys could make it," I nodded, not knowing what to reply to that. We stood there for a few seconds in silence, the music was the only sound traveling between our bodies. I pressed my lips together, figuring out a way to break the silence present. "So," He broke the silence. "I need to see if everyone's okay, make yourselves at home."

"Sure." I waved and he walked away from us, his hands on his pocket and a one million dollar smile on his pretty face. The same smile that made me crawl into his enchantment.

''What did Zach want?'' Zoey asked after Matt left us, I looked at her, and then it hit me. I didn't want Zach, I wanted Matt.

''I thought about it,'' My eyes went down to my hands, my nails purple. ''I don't want Zach and I need to tell him that.''

''Thank God.'' Zoey mumbled, and Alex just nodded in agreement. They were right in thinking that way. Zach was not good for me, actually he wasn't really good for anyone. Silence came back flooding into our conversation. The loud music being played made everyone around happier and in the mood. Red cups were on the floor and I could notice a few girls were drunk too.

"Bad news." Alex decided to break into a conversation.

"What now?" Zoey spoke after Alex stated the situation.

"Here's the thing," Alex turned to face us. "My mom doesn't know I am here, so we need to go back to your place ASAP, since she is leaving my sleeping wear in a matter of twenty minutes." Zoey and I rolled our eyes as she offered us an innocent smile. Damn it Alex, what a way to screw this up for me. I wasn't mad though. We stood up and headed outside, I didn't call my mother. She was probably going to take too long to get here and time was something we didn't have. We took a taxi and without speaking a goodbye word to Matt, we left his place. The taxi man was ordered to take us back to my place as fast as he could, of course, he charged us a bit more than expected but we got home safe and sound.

"Thank you," Alex handed him the money and I watched the car turn smaller as it drove down the street. We entered my house, dragging our feet. "I'm sorry I screw it up for you, Lily." She said as we made our way upstairs to my room. They decided to stay over and it was cool for me. I wasn't going to think about his party all night long and how it didn't go as planned. Having friends by your side made it so much easier, because they take your mind off things that are not worth putting your mind into. I was happy to have that kind of people in my life. I was a lucky girl.

"It's okay," I looked down. "I just didn't get the chance to say goodbye," Alex sat next to me on the bed. As we waited for her mom to bring her stuff. "But it's fine, I'll get to see him on Monday." She smiled at me, gently and I know she felt guilty, but it was okay. I was not angry, I was just sad that we left without a word. I really wanted to spend a few hours of the evening at his place, maybe he'll tell me about his girl and how happy he is and maybe we'll talk about his friends or whatever topic for that matter. But as I felt Alex and Zoey's bodies on my side, both staring at their phones. It didn't really matter if I was alone or not, because he was always on my mind. There was no way to get him out and it worried me. A lot.