I wish I was the one that was happy and content when the relationship end.

I wish I was the one that didn't gave it her all. Don't get me wrong I love becoming dust when it comes to loving someone, but when it's over I feel like shit, even my body becomes ill as if it was taken off a drug that kept it going.

Everyone has a comment on it, everyone has a stupid way of telling you "just feel it just; let it be" well fuck me! I am doing that and I am bleeding out yet nobody cares or notice because is an internal thing.

My body is the only one that notice it, the only one who lets me know that it's hurting... badly.

Yes I know it's a thing that I have to do my self; yes I know eventually I will be alright, but it's just damn painful and there are days that I wish him hell and then I feel bad and wish him well.

So I am letting everything out, the hatred, the frustration, the ugly and chaotic side of me because its part of who I am and I would not ignore it. Just for today I will be selfish and say "you are never going to find someone who loves you the way I did and I hope that girl finds out that you say my name in between dreams"