Nate

As my vision comes in and out of focus, I know this is stupid. I know it's stupid when at strip club number four, I still don't care about seeing naked women. How when Xavier tries to get me a lap dance, I turn it over to the bachelor party next to us. The groom hollers a thanks to me over the music, and I think I wave back.

Have fun while you can, buddy. You want to get married now, but one day she'll screw your best friend and leave you hanging.

"You're no fun." Xavier hands me another shot, which I take even though it burns like fire all the way down.

"Piss off." I'm too drunk to care if I've made him mad.

"Mom said you went out with that hot girl. The makeup one. What happened with that?"

"Nothin'" Because makeup girl-Celeste-she's not the one I want, and the one I want is Brooke, but she's too deep in my head. I can't go there right now.

Xavier hauls my sloppy ass out of the chair and I stagger against him as he half drags me from the club. Normally our positions are reversed, and I'm sort of impressed my little brother can half carry me.

"Nothing because you don't like her, or nothing because you haven't done anything to get closer?" he asks.

Actually none of the above. "The second one." I poke his chest but it feels soft and he yells a few curse words so I'm thinking I got his face instead.

"Gimme your phone." He holds his hand out.

I'm confused for a moment because I haven't pulled out my phone all night. The people on the sidewalk are blurry and the sound of the cars is killing me. "Why do cars have to be so loud," I groan.

Xavier is seriously feeling me up.

"You gotta buy me another drink if you want a piece of this ass," I tease.

Now he's staring at his hand. Phone.

"Isss tha' mine?" I reach for it, but he pulls away.

And then he's talking. "Yeah. This is Nate's brother. Your name was at the top of his contacts list so I thought it would be a good place to start... You don't know why that is...? Okay. I know this is sort of weird, but he's hammered and needs a place to sleep it off... You're awesome, no wonder my brother talks about you so much... Kay, thanks your address just came through... Yeah, we'll see you in ten."

"Wha...?" The pieces are smooshing together, but it's still not making sense. "Brooke?"

"No, dumbass. Celeste." He shakes his head. "Isn't Brooke that tight-ass chick who works with Mom?"

"Yeah... She does have a tight ass..."

"You're an ass. Come on." He hauls me to his car and ten horrible minutes later of Xavier taking turns too tight in his Porsche, we've stopped in front of a condo.

"Come on." Xavier's to my side so fast I'm thinking maybe he does have some magic in him.

"Wow," I whisper as he drags me from the car.

Celeste's face appears, and I realize I'm not by the car anymore; I'm next to a door.

"Why can't he be at your place?" she asks Xavier.

He shrugs. "My girl is there, and we have, uh, plans." Xavier wiggles his eyebrows, which makes me scoff, which unsettles my stomach. Not good. I'm not a drinker. This was not smart. None of it.

"I gotta lay down." I grasp the doorframe as the room spins.

Celeste looks at me with amusement rather than a scowly frown, which is what Brooke would do. Or what most people would do.

"Come on, Nate. Let's get you to bed."

"You can thank me later," Xavier whispers before he claps my shoulder briefly and jogs down the stairs.

I look behind me but the stairs go so far down. I mean, really, really far down... and I stumble as I lean over to get a better look.

Celeste puts a skinny arm around me to lead me inside.

"You live in a tower?" I ask.

"Oh, Nate." She sighs.

Celeste's hot. So perfectly hot. So perfectly my type. Tall, thin, dark hair... Why don't I feel it? Why don't I want to wrap her legs around my waist? She doesn't know my insides. She doesn't see through me. It would be simpler.

"You're so pretty," I say.

"You're so hammered," she says back with a half smile. "Take the couch. Here's a bowl. Don't puke on my carpet."

I give her a salute, which throws off my balance again before falling onto her couch.

The lights are on when my eyes close and my world fades into blissful nothing.

***

The light is just...who invented the sun anyway? I reach around me until I find a pillow and try to cover my head with it, but it's a tease of a pillow. A small pillow. A decorative pillow.

A decorative pillow?

Where am I?

I sit up, the room spins so hard and fast I nearly fall over. I'm gonna be sick. There's a bowl. I reach for it, and barely get it in front of me before my stomach empties its very few contents.

This is a really shitty way to wake up. I blink a few more times while trying to ignore my death-breath, and an apartment comes into view. I mean. I'm in someone's beige and white apartment. Boring. Can't be Brooke's place. I half laugh until I realize it's splintering apart my brain. I blink again as the splintering turns into more of a dull ache, and set down the bowl only it lands on a piece of paper.

Huh. I tentatively reach all the way to the floor and pick up the paper.

There's Advil and a room temp glass of water on the side table. I have crackers set out on the counter, and I'll make sure there's coffee in the pot. It might be lukewarm when you wake up. I'm at Neiman Marcus today for a MAC thing. You can come take me to lunch and explain your night if you like. Only shower first. Help yourself.

Celeste.

Damn. She's way nicer than I'd be. I grab the glass of water with shaky hands and pop the three Advil into my mouth. Last night is slowly coming back to me, and I cringe as I think about what I must have looked like to Celeste. Why don't I like her?

I pull off my clothes and set them in her dryer with a dryer sheet. It's a great trick I learned freshman year in college. I jump in her shower in her very pink bathroom and smell like flowers when I get out, but it beats smelling like vomit and strip-club so I take it.

She has more hair product than anyone I know, but I finally find something to rub in my hands and put on my head. The hair stuff is also slightly floral, but I'm feeling like I should find her, and at least take her to lunch to say thanks.

I pull my clothes from the dryer Springtime Fresh!, grab a few crackers, and head out to find a cab.

Turns out she lives two streets away from the strip and The Fashion Show Mall. Huh. Don't need a cab. Since the makeup counters are the first thing you see and smell when you walk into a department store, it's easy to find her.

She's sets a handful of makeup stuff next to a girl in a MAC apron thing and I watch. Celeste is sweet. Soft-spoken. Quiet. Nice. Stunning. Like, model gorgeous. That tall build I wanted until I found something different I wanted.

My stomach twists up at the thought of Brooke and how I don't know how to face her, but how desperate I am for things to be normal between us when I do.

I don't see Celeste walk up to me until she's there.

Her smile is amused. "You smell like gardenias."

I shrug. "No man products in the shower of the awesome girl who apparently let a very drunk Nate pass out at her place last night."

"She is pretty awesome," Celeste says with a breathy laugh. "Come on. Let's try some food in you."

"A very little amount of food." I run my hands over my head not sure what I should say.

She arches a slim brow. "I'd ask for an explanation, but you were with Xavier so I figure that's explanation enough."

I'm trying to figure out how honest I should be here. I really can't tell her that I kissed an amazing girl and then panicked. And because of that panic, I'm afraid that I've created the exact ending with her I was trying to avoid by pulling away.

"You're thinking hard there, Nate." She pauses in front of a Thai place.

I love Thai. Not sure my stomach will love Thai today, but it's something else Celeste and I have in common. I should so want to be here.

"Yeah. Thinking too hard probably."

"I just had a nasty split, too." She puts her hand on my arm for a moment. But it's just there. It's not squeezing or teasing or tickling or grabbing. Just there. "It takes a while."

Viv. Right. Funny thing is that in the mess I made with Brooke, Viv got pushed back. At least a little. "Uh, yeah," I say because I feel like I should respond.

"You should call her," Celeste says.

"That didn't go so well before."

"I'm just saying that Mace and I finally talked it all through a couple days ago, and he was right. We didn't fit anymore, it was just hard because we had such strong feelings for each other, you know?"

The thing that's different is, "Viv and I fit."

"Are you sure?"

"No." I'm not sure of anything. "You and I fit, too, but I don't think-"

"I know." Her eyes widen. "Every time we talk I think, I should totally be falling for this guy, but you're a mess I want no part of. I mean, friends is fine, but..."

"That extra...whatever isn't there," I say.

She nods slowly. "It's the extra that breaks your heart."

Don't I know it.

She orders and I step forward. "I got lunch. It's the least I can do."

Now I just have to unscramble my brain because I'm standing next to a girl who is everything I thought I wanted, I'm still hurting over a girl who I thought I was going to marry, and I can't get a girl out of my head who is the opposite of everything I thought I'd be with. I'm beyond relieved I have so much Photoshop work to do because I can't imagine facing Brooke so soon after I bolted. I'm such an ass.

I really need to take a step back and get my shit together.