Astrid was immensely grateful when her mother arrived because Hiccup was utterly broken by his mother's death...and Alvin, in a final vicious blow, had removed himself as a contact and from any responsibility for Valka's final illness. Hiccup was landed with responsibility for her hospital bills and for arranging the undertaker and the funeral at a time when he was least able to cope.

But Ingrid refused to let him deal with it alone and had sat by him, her arm around him and leaning close. "I will help," she told him gently, "but please tell me what you want, Hiccup. She's your Mom and I know you want to do what's best for her..." He nodded silently, his eyes still unfocussed.

"Cremated," he murmured. "She observed the old religion. I will get Dad's Memorial inscribed with her name...but I know where she needs to go. I will do my Final Duty to her once things settle..." Astrid took his hand and he raised her hand to his lips. "I know, Milady. But I know where she would want to rest and I can't go there now. I need to wait until after school finishes."

"Whatever you say, babe," she said gently. "You wanna come home..."

He lifted his head and a tear escaped, slowly trickling down his cheek.

"I don't want to leave her alone," he whispered.

"She'll be well cared-for...I promise," Ingrid said gently. "And she's not here...she's with your father and safe..." He nodded and bowed his head, shaking again. Astrid wrapped her arms around him and held him, looking up to meet her mother's warning look. Above all things, Astrid knew she was responsible for looking after the boy because he was at his most vulnerable now...and he needed the people who loved him around him to help him through.

oOo

Astrid awoke the next morning, her head muzzy. Then she frowned: it was Valentine's Day and she had been looking forward to spending her first Valentine's with a boyfriend...but Hiccup's mother had died the previous day and she felt stupid and selfish for even considering such an inconsequential consideration. And even worse when she looked to her bedside table and saw a neatly wrapped package lying on a handmade envelope with Hiccup's slightly scruffy handwriting on the front. She sat up, ran her hands through her messed up hair and stared at the gifts, then gently lifted the envelope and opened it, seeing a beautifully painted picture of Astrid in a heart-shaped border, with the legend 'Miss Perfect' written underneath. Inside, was the very simple message:

To me, you are perfect and I love you with all my heart, forever- Your Bad Boy H

She blinked, her eyes suddenly burning with tears. If Snotlout had written that, she would be scoffing at a cheap sentiment easily expressed...but this was Hiccup and he didn't say things he didn't mean. Especially to her. The words were a real declaration...so with a shaking hand, she lifted the package and found the little gold bracelet, shimmering on the red velvet cushion. Eyes wide, she lifted it up and put it on, lifting her head and grabbing her card and present and heading for his room...but when she entered, the bed was neatly made and the room was empty.

She urgently dressed, braided her hair and raced downstairs, finding her parents in the kitchen. It was Saturday and they were relaxing.

"Where's Hiccup?" she asked urgently. Ingrid gave a sad smile.

"He went out with Toothless about an hour ago," she said. "Though he looked as if he hadn't slept a wink." Astrid slumped into a chair and accepted the coffee she was given.

"I-I can't imagine how he must be feeling," she said hopelessly. "I know his Mom sided with Alvin and disowned him only a few days ago...but he really loved her and he went through Hel to try to protect her and stay with her. And it's almost like he lost her twice...once when she disowned him and again when she died." She sighed. "I'm really worried for him."

"So am I," Ingrid admitted. "One thing he always hung onto was that he hoped he could get his Mom away from Mr Treacher and they could live together...and her death has shattered that dream." Astrid sighed.

"I'm going looking for him," she decided, grabbing some toast and heading to collect her coat and boots. "Stormfly could do with a long walk..." Martin rose and gave her a sudden hug.

"Be kind to him," he said in a low voice. "He needs you." Astrid's eyes popped wide but her father gave a small smile. "I trust him not to hurt you. And I know he cares for you." She flashed him a smile and chased for the door, winding her scarf around her neck and jamming her woollen hat on as she exited. She swiftly collected Stormfly and the golden Berkhound eagerly trotted alongside her as they headed out.

She didn't want to call him because she knew he wouldn't answer her and she suspected he needed to think. And she could hazard a good guess where he would head. With a sigh, she set off down the street and walked into town, knowing where she needed to go first. She eventually reached the Forge and let herself in. Her head snapped round at some cursing: Gobber looked up from the back and sucked his pinched fingers.

"I don't suppose yer've seen yer boyfriend?" he said gruffly. She sighed and peeled her mittens off.

"I doubt he's coming in today, Gobber," she sighed.

"And he couldnae ha' told me?" he grumped. She walked forward and shook her head, her eyes sad.

"His Mom died yesterday," she told him without preamble, knowing Gobber didn't do subtle. But he did do compassion and his big face folded into a sympathetic grimace.

"The poor laddie," he murmured. "Gods...how?" Astrid sighed.

"I think her heart gave out...she was expecting a baby and had come off her meds some time ago...apparently she was told never to have another child..." Gobber nodded, scratching his big chin.

"Aye...Stoick spoke tae me that they would ha' loved another bairn...but that she would ha' died," he admitted. "And that Alvin persuaded her tae ignore that?" Astrid nodded.

"I think he blames himself," she admitted, her voice concerned. "He told me he promised to protect his Mom...but that he couldn't do that any more because he was thrown out of his home and disowned..." Gobber stared.

"What?" he coughed. Astrid explained what had happened and the big mechanic sighed. "Look, lassie-if he feels that bad, there's only one place he'll want tae go," he told her bluntly. "He'll go and talk tae his father."

oOo

The Cemetery was pretty much deserted as Astrid walked Stormfly through the gates. Her grandparents and Uncle Finn were buried here so she had visited fairly often...but she couldn't imagine having to visit a parent here. Sighing, she slipped the dog a chew as she paced through the rows of monuments, then she caught a glimpse of the auburn-haired shape sitting before the plain stone, a familiar three-legged black dog sitting loyally at his side.

Quietly, Astrid walked to his side and knelt down by him, then sat back on her heels. Stormfly immediately went and sat by her friend, giving a little bark which Toothless happily returned. Hiccup sighed and looked at the stone.

"I just don't know what to say," he sighed, his voice hoarse. He looked dreadful, deep shadows under his dulled emerald eyes, his auburn hair wild and shoulders hunched.

"What do you want to say?" she asked him softly. He cast her an exasperated look.

"I don't know," he repeated irritably. Her mitten found his hand.

"Say it to me," she said gently. He swallowed and looked at her.

"I-I'm sorry, Dad," he said brokenly. "I failed you. I-I promised to protect Mom, to keep her safe...but I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't brave enough or good enough. I let Alvin take her from me...I let him persuade her to stop her meds and...and...ignore the doctors..."

Astrid stared into his shamed face, his downcast eyes.

"It's my fault she's dead," he whispered. She shook her head, pressing her hands to his icy cold cheeks and staring in to the desolate emerald eyes.

"No, Hiccup-it's not," she told him firmly. "You didn't make her stop her meds. You worried about her constantly. You visited her...even though you were sent away. You endured...such horrible treatment to stay with her until you were thrown out to die! You gave her your number...and in the end, she called you. Remember you were the person she wanted to be with at the end-no one else! And you are only one person. Alvin had under so deeply under his control she even came to see you on his behalf! And she never said anything about the baby when she saw you."

He swallowed.

"It's still my fault," he mumbled. She leaned forward and kissed him urgently, feeling him respond and kiss her desperately. He pulled back and took a shuddering breath. "That was...nice..." he admitted.

"Nice?" she asked him with a frown. But missing the sarcasm, his face fell and he leaned forward, resting his head against hers.

"How-how long have I been here?" he asked her softly.

"A couple of hours," she told him, holding him close. He was shivering lightly and she wrapped her arms tightly around him. "I was worried..." He nuzzled into her shoulder.

"You know...it just hurts," he sighed, his voice wretched. "I know she threw me out and cast me aside and told me I wasn't her son...but I loved her and losing her...it just feels like a pain here..." His had gently pressed onto his chest. "And time just seems eternal and I don't know how long I've been anywhere. I just lay in bed, replaying those last minutes, over and over...and I know life goes on but I don't see how...how can it when she's gone?"

"It can because she wanted you to live," she told him, feeling his arms wind around her. "I want you to live. Because I love you too, Hiccup." He sighed.

"I just feel numb," he mumbled into her shoulder.

"I got your card and your present," she murmured. "Thank you." His grip tightened around her.

"I'm letting you down as well," he mumbled. "I meant to take you out for dinner...had it all planned..."

"I'll settle for a warm dinner at home," she replied gently. "Freezing to death won't help her...or Toothless..."

There was a pause and a dry, faint laugh.

"Toothless? That's where you're going? Toothless?" he teased her dryly.

"Well, I prefer my boyfriends not actually being human popsicles..." she told him and he managed to lift his emerald gaze and inspect her face, the side of his mouth quirking up..

"Boyfriends? Plural? How many more have you got tucked away? Please not Snotlout..."

"Sorry but eurgh!" she replied and they both laughed. He pressed a kiss onto her cheek.

"You're freezing," he realised. "Come on, Milady...let's get you somewhere warm..." She allowed him to help her up and felt his arm wrap around her shoulders. She snugged against him.

"The Trading Post Cafe in just along the block," she told him. "I hear they do a mean hot chocolate..." He nodded and his face fell for a moment...but he valiantly forced himself to smile. because he did love Astrid and he knew, through the raw pain of his grief and the desperate guilt he felt at preventing the unpreventable, that she was his salvation and his safe harbour. And she deserved better than a moping boyfriend.

"Let's get you into the warmth," he said with a small smile, seeing Toothless switch on his big green puppy eyes. "I just hope they take dogs as well..."