Chapter Fourteen - The Late Viscount

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"Where has Anthony gone?" I huff, poking my head into the makeshift office that Anthony and Violet had very kindly offered to Frederick. "He promised me that he would help and show me the grounds..."

Frederick glanced up towards me with a furrowed brow. "he should be in the house... have you checked his office? He does like to hide away from his siblings there."

"Yes."

"What about the kitchens? We would always sneak down there to grab a snack when I would visit?" He offered.

"I'll check there next, I suppose," I say, sighing.

"If he's not there then you may want to check the clearing in the woods... Edmund's grave is near there... Anthony sometimes goes there to clear his mind," Frederick added in quietly, glancing up at me with a remorseful look. "If he's there then just be- well, just be gentle."

I nod and offer him a small smile before turning and starting off down the hallway.

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"Frederick told you you might be here," I call out, offering him a small smile when he turns around to look at me with a raised brow.

"And why are you here?" Anthony asks. There wasn't any malice or anger behind his words, but rather a sorrow whose origins I couldn't quite place.

"I thought you could use a friend," I explain, sitting down beside him on the wooden bench. "I can listen... or talk... whatever you'd prefer."

"He would be proud, you know," I sigh, glancing over at the headstone.

Anthony scoffed and sighed, "proud of my inability to find a wife. Proud of my inability to navigate a season without scandal- nay, without two scandals? I am sure that he would have been more than happy with finding Daphne a match as soon as she was named the Season's Diamond last season. I am sure that he would have dealt with Miss Thompson and Colin before it led our family to potential ruin-"

"But he is not here- you are... and you are doing all that you can at the moment to provide for your family, which is all that Edmund would want from you. We cannot always be the best at everything Anthony, but what matters is the effort that we put into it."

I glance back over at him and watch as he falls back further into the bench, sighing and softly shaking his head as he mutters to himself. Eventually, he falls silent once more, opting to stare out into the green grass, his jaw tensing every few seconds as he quickly became lost in his thoughts.

"He loved lilacs," he whispered hoarsely.

I look over at him and softly smile, sighing and leaning my head on his shoulder. "Lilacs are a lovely flower... symbolic of first love."

"He and mother were so in love... I know that it killed a piece of her when he died," Anthony continued softly, "she... never regained that same sparkle in her eyes after he died."

"I know that your mama was thankful to be by his side when he passed," I whisper, raising my head and glancing at him. I pause, watching as a single tear fell and ran along his cheek. I reached up and wiped it away before lowering my head once more onto his shoulder. "If anything was to happen to Frederick, I know that I would want to be by his side, no matter what. I would want to be able to comfort him, and he me."

Anthony falls silent once more, staring out into the woods that surrounded his father's grave. A gentle breeze came through the clearing, causing my loosely done hair to fly free.

"I can't hurt someone the way that I saw my mother hurt... I can't risk that," Anthony confessed.

"The way your mother hurt, Anthony-"

"I cannot risk a marriage that could be ravaged by heartbreak and grief," he continued, "I cannot and I will not."

The determination in his wavering voice made me pause, knowing that, no matter what I tried, I wouldn't be able to switch his mind. I slowly nodded my head and sat beside him.

"Florence... Anthony."

I turn at the voice, but Anthony doesn't seem to hear it, too lost in his thoughts to even register the appearance of his mother.

I stand and offer her a small smile. "Lady Bridgerton."

"Violet, please. I have told you before, Florence, there is no need for formalities when we are in private," Violet says, chuckling as she gazes at me.

"Of course, simply habit La- Violet," I say, I glance over at Anthony, who finally seems to have registered his mother's arrival, and offer him a small smile. "I shall leave you two."

I bend over and offer Anthony a quick kiss on the cheek and hug as I whisper into his ear, "don't let fear control you Anthony... please."

Before he is able to say anything in response, I stand back up and offer Violet one more smile before starting off back towards the house.

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"I watched from the window," Eloise confessed, shutting her book and looking over at me with wide eyes. "I saw mama run over to him, and I saw Anthony stagger back towards the house to push everyone inside. Francesa and Gregory didn't understand why they couldn't go out to their papa... Daphne was singing to them to try and distract them. Colin, and Benedict... well, I think that it was one of the first times I heard them cry."

"Eloise," I whisper, taking a step towards her before pausing.

"Every time I look out that window, I cannot help but remember the memory," she continues, "it is like reliving a nightmare- except this one is real, and it took father away... Hyacinth never even got to meet him, she has no memories of him. All she knows of the man is what we tell her and sometimes even we forget."

"But you still remember," I say, watching as she turns her gaze away from the window and towards me. "You still remember the laughter that you all shared together and the love that bonded you all together. You cannot ever forget that, Eloise... it- it is something that will be with you forever, no matter how old you grow or how far away you move. The love that bonds a family together is one of the strongest forces that has ever existed, no amount of time can break that. Sure it may ware and grow duller, but it is still there, it is still an ever-present force in your life."

Eloise nods her head and fiddles with the book in her hand for a moment before slowly starting out of the room. As she reaches for the doorknob, and pauses and glances back at me. "Thank you, Florence."

I nod my head and offer her a small smile in return. "No problem, Eloise... if you ever want to talk..."

She nods her head and turns her head back and starts back out of the room.

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"He put glue into my shoes, you know?"

I whip my head around once more and let out a little sigh when I see Benedict stroll into the room.

"What?"

"Dad- Edmund," Benedict clarifies, "I went to put on my shoes and they were filled with glue... I found him hiding behind the staircase with Colin just...laughing... that type of deep laugh that you remember, even years later. I think even Anthony joined in after a little bit."

I hum and smile over at him, "he sounds like fun."

"He was... everything was... brighter when he was here. It was nice. Anthony was happy, carefree even," Benedict chuckled and continued to stroll around the room, fidgeting with his hands as he walked. "If you could believe that, anyways."

We both share a quiet chuckle as fall into silence, Benedict opting to look around the room nervously while I peer back outside of the window- not that window- but one of the side windows, which still had a great view of the grounds.

"Eloise told me you were in here," he confessed, "she came to talk to me for a little bit before going back to her room to read."

"Always a book in her hand," I chuckle.

Benedict chuckles once more, nodding his head in agreement before falling silent. "I don't think that any of us ever stop to say thank you for all that you do for us. So thank you, for helping us, and offering us advice when we thought we were forever lost."

I look over at him and offer him a soft smile, "of course. I'll always be here if you need me... if any of you need me."

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"He was... fun."

I turn once more and offer Colin the whisper of a smile. "I am sure that he was, based on the stories I have heard."

"He was so much like Anthony... yet so little at the same time," Colin continued, leaning against the doorway, his hands crossed against his chest. "They both took the family so seriously, fought tooth and nail to protect us."

I nod my head at his words and look at him with a soft smile, "that certainly sounds like Anthony."

"Forgive me for intruding," Colin said, suddenly looking bashful, "I overheard heard you and Benedict talking earlier and I couldn't stop myself from coming in."

"There's nothing to apologize for, Colin," I assured him, "I meant what I said to Benedict. I am here if any of you need me."

Colin falls silent as he gazes down at the floor, his fingers nervously fiddling with the ends of his shirt, "it scares me, sometimes. The fact that Gregory or Hyacinth may not know their father."

I bite my lip as I paused, looking at him for a moment before slowly speaking. "They do... through the stories you all share and the examples you put forth."

"But they never got to learn those examples from him, or experience making those stories together," Colin said, "I can tell them how fun it was to fill Benedict's shoes with glue with father, but they will never truly know the feeling- they will never get the chance to experience that feeling of doing something alongside your father."

"That is true, they never will get that chance to experience that, but they also, now, get the chance to experience it with you. Take them out to do a prank, take them walking where you and your father would go walking. Make those memories with them, but do it your way. Remind them of their father and connect them to those memories, but don't try to replace him. Take the lessons you learned from him and adapt them to what you know and what you have learned in your life, then go out and teach them."

Colin falls silent once more as he peers up at me, "thank you."

I let out a soft chuckle and nod my head, "of course."

He lingers in the doorway for a few more seconds before bowing his head and slowly backing up, clearly lost in his thoughts as he slowly turned and started down the hallway. His feet dragging along the carpeted floor as he continued to fight his internal battle.

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sorry for the late update! i just moved into college and was freaking out about it all last week 😅

don't forget to comment and vote!

-T