Chapter Two - The Distant Cousin

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Lady Whistledown's

SOCIETY PAPERS

It has been said that, 'Of all bitches dead or alive, a scribbling woman is the most canine.'

If that should be true, then this author would like to show you her teeth.

My name is Lady Whistledown.

You do not know me, and rest assured, you never shall. But be forewarned, dear reader, I certainly know you.

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"Oh, Cressida, I'm sure that your presentation wasn't nearly as terrible as you say!" I sit down next to her on the couch and offer her the best smile I could. "I mean, at least you didn't collapse at the Queen's feet!"

"She didn't even acknowledge me, Flore!" Cressida cried, "she called you 'beautiful' and Daphne 'flawless'... but she didn't even so much as glance in my direction!"

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true!" I reach over and grab her hands, pulling them away from her face. "You are just as beautiful and flawless as me and Daphne, if not more so. You just have to believe it for yourself! I mean, how is anyone supposed to believe what you are saying if you don't even recognize it to be true!"

Cressida sniffles, wiping away her tears and nodding her head.

"Renny?" Mother walks in with Lady Cowper and offers me a smile. "We should get going..."

"Wha-" Cressida looks from me to my mother, then to hers in confusion. "Where are you going?"

"Mama accepted an invitation from the Featherington's for tea..." I say, sighing before leaning in and I lower my voice so that only Cressida can hear what I have to say next. "Apparently that means that I also must go along..."

Cressida stifled a giggle behind her hand and waves me off. "Go on then... have fun! You must tell me everything the next time we see each other."

"Of course!" I rise from my spot and walk towards mother, stopping to say goodbye to Lady Cowper as I pass.

"Lady Cowper... always a pleasure to see you."

Lady Cowper nods and waves us goodbye before moving to sit at the table, a copy of the most recent Whistledown in her hand.

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Mama sets down her tea and watches with hidden amusement as Lady Featherington hastily stands up to gather up all the copies of Lady Whistledown that had been brought into the room.

"I should not be surprised if this Whistledown is revealed to be Violet Bridgerton herself." Lady Featherington huffs. "These pages certainly report on the viscountess's family with much indulgence, indeed."

She turns the pages over to a footman who nods his head and leaves the room, most likely to destroy the pages.

"The pages report nothing but the truth, Lady Featherington," Mama says simply, "Daphne has bloomed exquisitely, and the sooner she is taken from the market, the better for the other young ladies... even ones prone to hysterics in front of the Queen."

Philippa and I hide our giggles behind our cups of tea as Prudence leans over and swats us, obviously still embarrassed about her collapse at her presentation.

"Not all of us can be called 'beautiful' by the Queen, Florence," Prudence grumbles.

"Yes, how did it feel to be complimented?" Philippa asks dreamily.

Lady Featherington pauses, her lips pursing as she takes in what mama had said. Suddenly she turns toward her daughters with a tired look. "Ladies, hurry with your minatures before our guest arrives. And, Penelope, put down that book at once. You shall confuse your thoughts."

Mama glances over at me with an excited look before turning back to Lady Featherington. "So..."

She pats the seat beside her and offers her friend a charming smile. "Tell me about this cousin. Joining you for the entire season?"

Lady Featherington sighs and sits down on the gaudy couch, "she is a distant cousin of my husband, and with no close female relative to sponsor her debut, Lord Featherington has... directed me to take her in... for charity."

Mama hums as she reaches for her cup of tea, "hmm. You are known to be quite charitable."

"Precisely what this new rumormonger should have published," Lady Featherington says, putting her cup of tea back down on the table as she looks over to mama. "Instead of erroneously specifying that I shall only have three young ladies under my care this year. She knows nothing."

Mama raises her eyebrows at her friend but slowly nods her head anyways, "hmm."

"Philippa where ever did you get your necklace..." I ask, leaning over and getting a better look at it under the sunlight. "It's rather pretty..."

"You think?" Philippa cranes her neck to try and look down at her necklace, "I think papa got it for me..."

I nod my head and wordlessly look over at Penelope, who has shut her book and is now standing in front of her mother. "I should gladly sit this season out."

"Pen's been trying to get mama to delay her presentation for a while now," Prudence whispers over to me, "not like it's going to work."

I chuckle and lean back into my chair, watching with amusement at Penelope's attempt to get out of another season.

"Penelope is quite nervous. This shall be her very first season." Lady Featherington explains, turning to look at my mother with excitement.

Penelope chuckles and shakes her head, "I am not nervous, Mama."

"What she is," Prudence declares, "is two stone heavier than she ought to be."

Philippa nods her head in agreement, looking at her sister with a critical eye. "Mm, those blemishes on her face are quite difficult to conceal. Oh, perhaps some arsenic and lead might help."

Penelope ignores her sisters and turns her attention back towards her mother, "should you allow me to delay only a year, just as Lady Bridgerton has done for Eloise, and Lady Huntingdon had done for Florence, I may remain decided to my studies, perhaps."

Lady Featherington looks at her daughter with a blank face, unimpressed with her reasoning. "The answer is no, Penelope."

"Mama only let me delay my presentation because I wasn't proficient enough on the pianoforte..." I mutter.

"Are you any better now?" Philippa asks.

"No."

Mama sighs and leans in closer to Lady Featherington.

"You may wish to listen to her, Portia. Shepherding four young ladies through these endless rounds of affairs at the same time..." Mama huffs and cocks her head, "can you imagine the competition?"

"Well, how much competition can this... cousin provoke?" Lady Featherington asks, glancing over at Mama with doubt. "She came of age on a farm, she has a mere four-figure dowry, and as for her appearance... well, let us hope Miss Thompson is more presentable than the legions of unkempt animals she has spent her entire life tending to back home."

Lady Featherington chuckled as Mama only smiled at her, taking another sip of her tea.

"Where ever is Lord Featherington?" I ask, looking over at Philippa and Prudence. "I would have thought that he would sit in the corner and read his paper, just as he always does."

"Papa is away... working?" Philippa says, looking over at Prudence in confusion. "Who knows... mama is not worried, so we need not be worried either."

I open my mouth again but am cut off by another footman, who bowed in both mama's and Lady Featherington's directions before speaking.

"Lord Featherington's cousin has arrived, madam."

Lady Featherington gasps, setting down her teacup once more and instructing her daughters to stand behind her.

"Renny?" Mama looks over at me and nods her head.

I stand up and begin to make my way over to her, standing beside her as we both watch Lady Featherington address her girls.

"Now, remember to be kind, ladies..." she says, quickly plastering on a smile, "and charitable. The poor are our burden."

We all fall silent as we watch Miss Thompson enter the room.

"Oh!" Philippa nervously looks over at Prudence when she realizes who they're now up against.

"She's beautiful," Penelope says, smiling in the direction of the girl.

Miss Thompson was beautiful. Despite not having the finer clothes or the shiniest jewels, she possessed a kind of natural beauty, which radiated throughout the room, causing us all to pause and catch our breath.

"Good afternoon, Lady Featherington," Miss Thompson says, going into a small curtsy before standing back up and looking around as an awkward silence filled the room.

Mama hums knowingly as she looks between Lady Featherington and Miss Thompson.

This was certainly bound to be an interesting season indeed.

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-T