《Missing Moments》Finn is Confused
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7x11 (But with a twist...)
The next day, Piper was still acting strange and distant. Finn knew as soon as she backed out of seeing Hotel Dystopia that he had to get to the bottom of this. He and Piper had been counting down the days until Hotel Dystopia: Do Not Disturb came out, and there was no way she would give up going to see it for anything, not even a school project.
Despite the obvious tension between the girls last night, Amy was still the first person that Finn thought Piper might talk to if something serious was going on, so she was the first person he went to in his investigation, and his heart nearly stopped when she admitted that she thought Piper might have feelings for him.
There was no way Piper could have feelings for him. Not after all of the times she'd turned him down when he asked her out. Not after that day in Shakes and Ladders when he'd admitted he probably wasn't her type and she hadn't denied it. Not after he'd accepted that she would never have feelings for him and tried so hard to move on.
And as it turned out, he was right because according to Amy, Piper did this weird laugh around guys she really liked, and in all their months of friendship, Finn had never heard her do that laugh around him. She definitely did not have feelings for him.
But then, not an hour later, in the middle of an uncomfortable conversation in Studio A, Piper did the laugh, and something in Finn immediately shifted. The part of him that he had been trying so hard to repress since Regionals sprang to life again. The part of him that liked Piper. The part of him that had always liked Piper.
He hadn't stopped thinking about her since.
It didn't make sense. Piper had done nothing but claim that she didn't have feelings for him since the moment they had met. She had never given any indication that she might feel otherwise.
When could her feelings have changed? And why hadn't she said anything if they had? Finn hadn't exactly been discreet about his crush way back when. She had to know that he'd had feelings for her.
There was nothing to do but wait and ask her about it himself. Finn needed answers, or he was going to drive himself crazy wondering about this.
The longer he waited for her in the locker room, however, the more he started to wonder if she had already gone home. It was getting late, and most of the team had already left. Had he somehow missed her? The locker room had seemed to be the best place to catch her alone to talk because she would have to get her stuff before she went home.
Just as he started to wonder if he should let it go and head home himself, he heard footsteps in the hallway and looked up to see the girl in question entering the locker room. His presence clearly caught her off guard, and Piper froze as their eyes met.
"Pipes, we need to talk," Finn said, serious as he'd ever been, but she was already turning back to the door and muttering an excuse about leaving something in Studio A.
She was avoiding him. And somehow, that told him everything he needed to know. She'd lied to Amy. She did have feelings for him. It was true.
But he needed to hear it from her. So he jumped straight to the point before she could run away like he suspected she so desperately wanted to do.
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"When Amy said you like me, was that true?"
Her shoulders tensed, and she turned back to him, clearly knowing that she was caught. Even still, she forced a smile and faked a laugh as she took a reluctant step toward him. "Come on, Finn. You can't be serious."
He raised his eyebrows at her, wishing she would stop running from this and just face it. "Well, I am. I am serious."
Her face fell as she seemed to realize he wasn't going to drop this. Averting her gaze to her fidgeting hands, she muttered, "It's not important."
"Answer the question." He knew her too well. She would keep diverting the conversation or denying whatever she didn't want to admit until he either dropped it or forgot what they were supposed to be talking about, and he wasn't letting her do it this time. This was too important.
Piper reluctantly met his gaze, and he could practically see the resignation settling in her eyes as she realized she couldn't run from this anymore. She took a deep breath, fidgeting nervously with the ring on her finger. Softly, she finally uttered, "Yes."
Finn expected to feel excited or overjoyed or relieved at the confirmation that she liked him. For such a long time, he had dreamed of hearing that one word from her. But that was months ago – before they were best friends. Before everything got complicated. And that was why he found himself asking, "Is it because I'm with someone else now?" Because he knew that was a possibility, and he didn't want her to like him if it was purely because she was jealous of Amy.
He wanted her to like him for him.
"No," she said, shaking her head. "I thought so too at first, but..."
"Then how do you know it's not?"
She took a deep breath, glancing up at him reluctantly. Once she started talking, the words began pouring out of her. "Because I want to go to the movie with you tonight. And when we got onto Dancemania, you were the first person I wanted to celebrate with. And you're the only person I've wanted to talk to all day, but I couldn't because I was avoiding you because I thought avoiding you would make my feelings go away, but it just made me miss you more." She paused, reconnecting her gaze as she told him earnestly, "And you're my best friend, and I think that maybe... Maybe I've always liked you."
Finn found himself smiling in spite of himself, and it was taking everything in him not to kiss her right then and there – until she uttered those last words. Because if she had liked him all along, then why hadn't she said yes when he'd asked her out? Why hadn't she said something at prom? Or Regionals? Or when they'd ridden that bike around Studio A together before he'd gone out on a date with Amy?
He wouldn't have gone on that date if she'd told him not to. But she hadn't.
"Piper, I asked you out so many times," Finn said, averting his gaze and clenching his fists in his pockets. He didn't want to get upset with her, not after that confession. It was hard for her to be so openly vulnerable, and he knew that. But he was frustrated. He couldn't help it.
"I know, but I..." She gestured with her hands regretfully as she sought the words she wanted to say. "I didn't know you back then, not like I do now. And I was scared."
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His resolve softened at that, and he frowned. "Scared of what?"
She hesitated, looking like she wanted to say something but was afraid to say it. Backtracking, she told him instead, "It all just snuck up on me. I think seeing you with Amy brought it all out."
Finn sighed and looked down at his shoes, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably. So it did come back to his relationship with Amy after all.
"You told me to say yes to everything that day, remember?" Piper continued on, almost desperately at this point. "And I guess I just..." She took a deep breath, forcing herself to meet his eye again. "I finally allowed myself to see you in a way that I wouldn't let myself before."
He met her eye, thinking back on that day himself. Of course he remembered it. He had asked her to help him plan his date for Amy, and she had said yes, and in that moment, it had never dawned on him that she had done so, not as their best friend, but because of the bet he had made with her. He'd wanted her to let loose a little more, take some risks.
God, if he had just asked out Piper that day instead of Amy...
He'd wanted to for a moment – in Studio A, when she'd let her hair out of its bun, and it had cascaded down like something out of a movie, and he'd remembered why he had fallen for her in the first place. He'd told her she looked nice with her hair down. She was wearing it down today. She had been ever since that day actually...
He glanced up at her to find her biting her lip hard, her eyes pleading with him to say something. And he wanted to say something, but he wasn't sure what exactly. There were a thousand thoughts running through his mind, and he had no idea how to sort through them all. Part of him wanted to say, "Screw it all," and just kiss her. The other part of him knew that he couldn't do that because he was still dating her best friend.
Coming to somewhat of a decision, he said, "I need to think."
She blinked in surprise, and they stared at each other wordlessly for a moment before he stepped around her and walked out of the locker room, scratching the back of his neck vigorously. He didn't see the way her face crumpled or the way she practically collapsed onto the bench behind her as he left her behind, and that was probably for the best.
If he knew all the thoughts running through her mind in that moment, he'd hate himself for ever making her feel like she'd just been rejected for the second time.
-----
Finn was still reeling from Piper's confession when he got home. All he wanted to do was hole up in the basement, put on a movie, and figure out what in the world he was going to do. His mother, however, had other plans in mind for him.
"Finn," she greeted curtly as he entered the kitchen to grab a drink from the refrigerator.
"Mom," he greeted back, glancing at her curiously. She wasn't normally so formal.
Mark was sitting at the kitchen table, peering at his laptop over his reading glasses, while Finn's mother finished washing the dishes from dinner. "I left food for you in the microwave if you're hungry," she told him.
Finn simply nodded and said, "Okay," already taking a step towards the basement.
"While you're here," his mother added on in the tone of voice that usually ended up with Finn in trouble somehow. He paused, looking at her warily and trying to think of anything bad he might have done recently but failing to come up with anything.
"Are you planning on cleaning your room any time soon, or will it forever remain a safety hazard?"
Finn sighed, relaxing a little as he realized he wasn't actually in trouble. "I'll get around to it," he told her simply, turning once more to go down to the basement, but his mother stopped him again.
"Oh, you mean the same way you got around to it the last four times I've asked you to do it? Get it done tonight, or you're grounded."
"What? Mom, that's not fair! I've been busy," he immediately protested, but she gave him a firm look that immediately made him fall quiet.
"If you have time for dating and all those 'bro weekends' you've been going on between school and dance, you can find the time to clean your room. I'm not asking you again, Finn," she said, curls bouncing as she shook her head exasperatedly.
The right thing in this situation would have been to give in and clean his bedroom like she was asking him to, but that was the last thing Finn wanted to be doing at the moment given the major declaration of feelings his best friend had just made to him half an hour ago. So instead of relenting, he asked stubbornly, "Why does it matter how clean it is if I'm the only one who's ever in there?"
"I trip over something every time I go in there to put your laundry away," his mother snapped back.
"So don't put my laundry away," he reasoned.
"Oh, are you offering to do your own laundry now? Because that would certainly make my life a little easier."
"No. Mom," Finn groaned, throwing his head back dramatically.
"If you're old enough to dance on TV, you're old enough to do your own laundry," Mark interjected from his spot at the table. He gave a weary look to Finn that seemed to silently communicate, "Give your mother a break, and just clean the damn room."
"That's a great point, honey," Finn's mom said appreciatively, nodding her agreement as she pursed her lips at Finn. "You are going to university in a couple of years. You're going to have learn how to do it at some point."
"One thing at a time," Finn grumbled.
Arguing was getting him nowhere, so he mumbled that he would get it done and trudged upstairs to his bedroom. As he passed his little sisters' room, Gracie called after him excitedly, "Finn, I learned to tumble! Do you wanna see?"
"Nope," Finn called back before slamming his bedroom door shut behind him.
He let out a huff, leaning against his door as Gracie yelled at him that he was a meanie from the hallway. He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head at himself. What was wrong with him? It wasn't Gracie's fault that he was suddenly in a bad mood. It wasn't even his mother's fault. He had been putting off cleaning his room for a month because he hadn't wanted to do it.
There was just something about coming home to his mother nagging him about his room that really irritated him when that was the least of his concerns.
Who cared about how messy his room was when Piper had feelings for him?
He flopped onto his bed, running his hands through his curls and letting out a deep breath. Piper actually liked him. She'd been vulnerable and honest with him, and he'd left her behind in the locker room.
God, what was wrong with him?
He pulled his phone out without a second thought and immediately opened his text messages to Piper, but his thumbs simply hovered over the keyboard. What was he supposed to tell her? 'Hey Pipes, sorry for walking out on you. Thanks for being honest. I like you too.' No way. That wasn't even close to conveying everything he was feeling.
Why couldn't she have just been honest with him from the start? It could have saved them both so much heartache and confusion. Finn hated the thought that Piper's heart must have been breaking the whole time he dated Amy, and he knew Amy would feel the same way if she knew. But Piper had never given any indication that she felt otherwise, and she had apparently lied to Amy about having feelings for him in the first place. How were they supposed to have known when she never said anything?
And now Finn was supposed to celebrate his two-week anniversary with Amy this weekend. He had been planning a nice night for them- buying her chocolates, taking her to a new sushi place- but given the new circumstances...
Oh. No wonder Piper had been acting so strange last night. Finn had all but asked her what to do for his special date with Amy while she'd had feelings for him the whole time. And now that he was thinking about it, he realized that she had been very withdrawn and downcast ever since he started dating Amy.
Had the signs that she liked him been there all along, and he was just completely oblivious to them? It had never even dawned on him until tonight that she had been wearing her hair down every day since he'd told her she looked nice with it down.
Wow. Maybe he really was a bigger idiot than he thought.
Regardless, there was no way he could celebrate an anniversary with Amy now that he knew Piper actually had feelings for him. He had already been considering breaking up with her anyway because whatever they had between them was fading fast. He wondered if she felt it too, or if it was just him.
His phone suddenly began ringing, and he hoped that it might be Piper. It was Amy.
When he answered, Amy was speaking fast as if in a hurry. "Hey. I'm super sorry, but I'm going to have to cancel our date this weekend."
A wave of relief unlike anything Finn had ever experienced washed through him. He'd gone from being excited for their anniversary date to dreading it within 24 hours. Trying to remain impassive, however, he told her, "Oh, that's okay."
"My grandparents are coming to the city this weekend, and my mom completely forgot, and now we're rushing around, trying to clean the house for them. It's a whole thing. Anyways, I'm sorry. We can reschedule for next weekend maybe?"
"Um, yeah, sure," Finn said, squeezing his eyes shut. He pondered ending things right now, but if he had learned anything from observing his older sister's love life, it was that breaking up over the phone was generally frowned upon. He may have been an idiot, but he didn't want to be a jerk.
"Okay, well, I've got to go. My mom's sending me and Lainey to the store to find bed sheets because apparently the ones we already have for the guest room aren't good enough." He could practically see Amy rolling her eyes as she spoke, and the corners of his lips twitched upwards in spite of himself.
He really did like her, but he was starting to think that he cared about Amy more as a friend than as a girlfriend. Maybe he always had. That was why kissing her had never felt magical like it was in all the movies and why his heart had never truly felt at home around her.
"Have fun at the movie tonight. Tell Piper I say hi," Amy told him, breaking him out of his thoughts. She promised to talk to him later and promptly ended the call.
Finn sighed as he dropped his phone on his bed and let out a groan, rubbing his face with his hands then pressing his palms into his eyes. Hotel Dystopia had completely slipped his mind the moment he'd heard Piper's laugh in Studio A. They were supposed to be at the movie right now, but instead, he was at home agonizing over the fact that the girl her loved liked him back while he dated her best friend.
This entire situation was giving him a headache. He needed to think about something else.
Reluctantly, he set to work cleaning his room, distracting himself from the girl drama by tossing dirty clothes into his laundry basket and shoving clutter either under his bed or in the wastebasket next to his desk. He stacked his schoolbooks on his desk and straightened the clutter on top of it.
When he moved an old page of notes from his history class to throw it away, it was to find a photo of himself and Piper staring up at him, and he froze. He dropped the page of notes to pick up the photo instead. It was one of the ones they had taken at prom last year. There was a huge smile on Piper's face, and even though he was wearing oversized sunglasses in the photo, Finn remembered gazing at her and thinking that she had the most beautiful smile in the world and that he would do anything to see that smile for the rest of his life.
He'd been so hopelessly in love with her back then.
Except he didn't even think he knew what love really felt like back then, and he certainly didn't know now.
He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Piper actually had feelings for him. He wished he could go back in time and tell the Finn in that picture to be a little more patient and wait for her until she was ready instead of trying to move on with her best friend.
The only thing he had done in dating Amy was make a mess of everyone's feelings.
But it was a mess that had apparently forced Piper to come to terms with her feelings. A silver lining perhaps?
He begrudgingly set the prom photo aside and finished cleaning his room. Once he was finally finished, he sprawled out on top of his bed and checked his messages. Part of him hoped Piper might have texted him, but she hadn't, and he couldn't say he was surprised.
What was running through her mind right now?
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