《Just a Kiss》Chapter 35
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Seconds turn into a minute and one minute turns into five. Hermione has yet to respond to his announcement. Or rather, she has yet to respond at all. Her mouth hangs agape, eyes as wide as saucers, and her face has gone horrendously pale.
Draco isn't entirely sure she's still breathing.
"Hermione," he says, reaching out for her. "Are you alright?"
Before his hand can land on her arm, she jerks back. Her expression contorts until it settles on a look that he can only describe as disgust. His hand falls back to his side. Her reaction hurts far more than he'll ever care to admit aloud.
Turning away so he can't see anymore of her, he murmurs, "I understand. I shouldn't have told you, should have realized I didn't have a chance in hell with you." He squares his shoulders and clears his throat. "Why would you like me anyway? Why would you ever fall for me like I fell for you? How could I mean anything but a friend when you're clearly disgusted by the very thought of me touching you now?" He snarls the last part, the words ripping out of him.
For a moment, he waits for a response. Anything would be welcome. Even if she just laughs and calls him foolish. All that greets him is silence, though.
"Right, I'll just be going now." Chest aching, he walks away. Down the stairs and towards the entrance of the astronomy tower. At the door, he pauses and glances back up at her. She hasn't moved. "I won't bother you again, I swear on that. It'd be best if I don't see you anyways. Maybe someday we can try for being friends again?" The last words come out in a whisper and he isn't sure she hears them.
No reaction, not even a twitch. He walks out and doesn't look back again.
Hermione isn't sure how long she stands alone in the tower, staring at the space where he had stood. It could have only been seconds, or maybe even hours. She has no means of telling the time, not that she can find the need to know it now.
Her mind has gone completely blank. Her own name isn't even processing. His words have no chance of being understood quickly, and now he's gone. One of her best friends have quite literally ran out of her life.
She'd be lying is she said that it didn't hurt.
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"Hermione, are you up here?" Feet thunder up the steps to the upper deck. "Thank Merlin I've found you! We've been searching everywhere for you and...Hermione, are you alright?" A warmth blooms over her arms, wrapping around the entire circumference of her forearm.
She turns slowly, tearing her gaze away from where Draco had stood. "Harry?" Her voice cracks. She tilts her head, feeling rather numb. The only reminder that she's still conscious is the constant heat of Harry's hands on her arms and a terrible ache in her chest.
"Yes, Hermione, it's me. Are you alright? You've been gone an awful long time searching for Malfoy." The word, his name, sends a spark of pain straight through her already hurting heart, igniting it with a burst of agony.
She whimpers and presses a hand against her chest. "Harry," Hermione chokes out. "Harry, I've messed up badly."
"Hermione!" Harry exclaims, "what happened? Tell me what's wrong!"
Hermione sinks into him, letting him bear her weight for a little while as she launches into a recap of her conversation with Draco. Every sentence, each last painfully uttered word, until she reaches the part where Draco had left. Once she's finished, she buries her face in Harry's shoulder and lets her tears come now.
"I haven't felt this horrendous since the wedding," she murmurs, voice muffled by his shirt. "I want this feeling to be gone and, more than anything else, I want to have my friend back."
Harry sighs and rubs circles on her back. "I am really sorry for this, Hermione. I'm afriad it's partially my fault."
She sniffs. "How so?"
"When you left Draco and I alone, I told him I knew about him loving you," he admits quietly. "I thought I could get him to tell you, even threatened to tell you myself. It seemed the best way to make you happy, having him tell you that. I had thought...but maybe I'm wrong."
Hermione lifts her head, frowning. She wipes away the tears on her face. "Wrong about what?"
He bites his lip, sorting through his thoughts carefully before speaking. "When you think of Draco, what do you feel?"
She knows what she could say; Her and Draco are friends, close friends, and that's all. She's going to say it allowed, too, even opens her mouth to do so, but those aren't the words that come out. When she speaks, they are her thoughts, raw and pure and true.
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"I can't think of a better place to be than with him. I can't think of any reason as to why I'd ever want to let him go," she says, slowly, but with gaining assurance. "Tonight, when I thought he wanted another woman, I could hardly contain the feeling of betrayal and...and jealously. It took everything I had to keep from acting upset." She pauses and shakes her head, a rueful grin flitting over her lips. "That's not how a person who wants to be only friends is meant to act, is it?"
Harry lifts a brow, smiling, telling her that she already knows the answer to the question. She drops her head back onto his shoulder, a muffled groan falling from her mouth.
"This is a mess, Harry."
He chuckles under his breath. Then, he says, "you're hurting because you love him, and him walking away without you stopping him is making you feel awful." She flinches, but he continues on. "Personally, I think you're both a pair of fools. I can't believe it took him so long to tell you, and you even longer to realize that you feel the same. I don't think I've ever met a denser pair than you two, though I suppose it just makes you all the more fitting for each other."
Hermione rolls her eyes and pulls away from him. "You don't mean to tell me that you've known about this all along? I don't think I believe that, not one bit, in fact." He laughs, loud and boisterous, and she smiles, forgetting for a moment the problem at hand while she jokes with her oldest friend.
"It's your choice to believe me, but I'm telling you, ever since you came to visit me after your time away, I have known. Though, I suspected it long before that, his feelings for you at least." His brow wrinkles. "You're more difficult to understand than him. Though, he was never very good at hiding his longing stares." Harry feigns a horrified shiver that makes Hermione thump him hard on his arm.
"He hid them well enough that I never noticed," she points out. "Now I'll never get to see them at all. I didn't even get the chance to reply to his confession."
Harry clicks his tongue, having picked the habit up from Ginny. "Who are you and what have you done with my Hermione? The woman I know would never give up so easily. She would fight until her very last breath to get what she wanted and wouldn't care who got in her way."
"But Harry, he doesn't even want to see me!" She bellows, distraught. "What am I meant to do about that? This isn't exactly a situation where I can just command something and get what I want!"
He narrows his eyes, crossing his arms. "Honestly Hermione, you're worse than he is!" She growls indignantly at his barb but otherwise remains silent, waiting for him to explain. "You have to go to him! For Merlin's sake, just chase after him and tell him you feel the same way!"
"You're supporting this, then?" She asks, unsure. "You actually want me to be together with him?"
"All of us do," he shrugs. "Ginny, Luna, Blaise, even the rest of the Weasleys do." He grins, but it fades quick when he catches sight of the tears in her eyes. Silently praying that they're tears of joy, he questions, "what's the matter, Hermione?"
She waves his worry off, scrubbing her eyes. "Don't bother, I'm just overly emotional tonight. It's just...thank you. All of you, actually. It means the world having you all wanting this-" He stops her before she can go on, jumping to his feet and dragging her up with her. Hermione yelps in shock, clinging to him to keep from losing her balance. "Harry, I was talking!"
"I know, I'm sorry," he apologizes. "But precious time is passing. The longer you put off finding him, the harder it'll be to convince him you feel the same." She nods her understanding. "Besides, the mushy feelings can be saved for later, when Ginny is there to help me." He smirks and it's enough to get any remaining disgruntlement off Hermione's face. "Now go! Before I have a drastic change of heart and decide to keep you two apart," Harry jokes.
"Like I'd let you," she fires back. Then she stands straighter and steps back, her entire demeanor changing. A determined glint illuminates her eyes. She starts down the stairs and nearly disappears before remembering to shout back to her friend. "Thank you, Harry! And I swear, there'll be "mushy feelings" when I next visit," Hermione teases, then is out of the tower and is racing through the castle.
Only pausing to snag her shoes at the bottom of the stairs, she runs from the castle and out to the gates. The moment she's there, she pulls out her wand and apparates to the one place she's sure she'll find Draco.
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