I stood in front of my parents looking down. Everyone was present there in confusion. Dad cleared his throat making me looked up a little, "Aziya is going to marry in this week," he said in his cold voice leaving no room for arguing and dismissed everyone.

I went in my small room silently which had nothing just a small vanity and a small single bed. The room was colourless just like my fate and soul. I stood in front of the vanity and looked in the mirror. The girl I was seeing, looking broken, her eyes, her soul are empty. She didn't know how to smile and how can she know when forgot the meaning of smile.

I moved from there to the corner of the room where a window was. I looked out of the window and looked at the moon who was shining brightly and the sky which was dark like my soul. My soul was like night but the only difference was I had no moon in my life to illuminate my dark soul.

Slowly tears started flowing from my eyes, one by one sob started escaping from my mouth. I slipped down and leaned my back against the wall, curling my legs and wrapped my arms around them. I cried over my fate, I cried of being an unwanted, I cried for my future which I didn't see, I cried because I knew I would never be happy.

No one asked me, if I wanted to marry or not. I didn't even know who was the man to whom I was going to marry. Millions of thoughts run in my mind just thinking about my dark future.

What if he is just like them?

What if he sees me as unwanted?

Will he love me?

Will he hate me?

I didn't know what to expect from this marriage. I was just 19 years old and wanted to study but after college my parents didn't let me continue my studies. They all called me bad omen and I believed everyone that I was a bad omen.

I woke up and found myself on the floor. I felt ache on my back but ignored it because I was used to all this. I slowly made my way to my small washroom and did my business.

I went downstairs to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for everyone. I didn't eat anything before everyone because it was my punishment which I didn't know why they were giving me.

With the heavy heart, I wiped my tears which were flowing. I quickly made breakfast and put it on the dinning table in dinning hall. Everyone entered in the room one by one and sat on the chairs.

I silently served them and was about to went in the kitchen when dad stopped me, "On your wedding day, don't make that type ugly face. I don't want anyone to think that you are not happy," he said making my heart hurt. I just nodded my head and went back in the kitchen.

I pressed my lips tightly in a thin line and closed my eyes, tried to my cries. I heard dad's voice, "It's just a business deal not a real wedding. They just want a simple Nikkah and a grand reception," he was talking slowly but I heard him. Just a business deal.

At night time, I went back to my room once everyone ate dinner. I was in no mood so I skipped dinner. I locked the door of the room and sat on my bed, after taking my diary out of the drawer.

I opened the empty page of my diary and looked at it. Slowly, my tears flowing again from my eyes once I started writing.

The girl is slowly breaking,

Yet no one care.

The girl is slowly dying,

Yet no one see.

The girl is slowly fading,

Yet no one notice.

Dear diary,

They are now finally getting rid of that bad omen. No more burden they will have. Life is so amazing right? This is what everyone says. Wrong. They all are wrong they don't know life is not amazing. It's difficult and full of twists which made every person a mess.

My life is also mess. I am a bad mess, a bad omen, a burden, an UNWANTED, an empty soul, and much more. The people who says life is beautiful then they don't have seen the real life, a life which is cruel and have cruel people.

I am going to be someone else. What if he is just like them? What if he is worse them that? Tell me will he give the love which I ask in my every prayer from Allah? I want just a love nothing more. Tell me should I keep this hope that he will not like them?

Tell me should I forget this all and start a new life with a hope of being love? Tell me?

I couldn't keep myself together more so I closed the diary and put it under my pillow. I put my head on pillow and slept after crying my heart out.