Published on 16th May 2022

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♡ I follow your steps

I'll never leave you again

'Cause when I'm with you, it feels like homе again ♡

- R I S H A B H -

"Shruti, is it done?"

"A minute more."

I sighed and controlled myself from walking to and fro the room because of anxiety. This was the matter of nervousness and it wasn't a first for me. It was, I guess, the thirty-seventh pregnancy testing stick she was using. Number wasn't the issue, but her disappointment after numerous negative results surely was.

The door of bathroom creaked open and I raised my head up when I saw her stepping out. Before I could ask her about the results, she shook her head in no and took her seat beside me.

"Hey! It's okay." I wrapped my arms around her and lingered my lips on her temple. I knew this wasn't easy for her but she had to stop thinking about kids all the time. It brought only disappointment and worsened her health. Instead of facing me, she kept her eyes down and continued to sob. "Shruti..."

I clearly remember what happened six months ago.

That night, when we were about to have our dinner, Shruti went back into the kitchen to bring the dessert from fridge. She took her time there and we were too busy talking to notice her absence. Our attention went towards her only when we heard the sound of bowl falling on the floor.

Panic rushed in my veins when I saw her lying unconscious on the ground, clutching her stomach, as pool of blood surrounded her clothes. It was the worst thing I could ever think of.

I didn't know when we reached hospital. The only thing I knew was I failed her. I should've forced her to go for a check-up when she complained of stomachache but then covered it up for a normal digestion issue. I should've been more serious.

Doctors told us what she experienced was ectopic pregnancy, which resulted in a miscarriage. We always took caution; she was on her pills yet the pregnancy happened. Things weren't easy to absorb.

Shruti was devastated when she woke up and heard the news. The first two weeks were too difficult for us to cope up with. But we had to. Things got better with time as we moved on with our lives and realised that there was no point in holding upon such a sensitive topic. It brought only pain and nothing else.

"Shruti, look at me." I lifted her chin and made her face me. "Why are you so eager to get a positive result? Do you really want to have a child?" She shook her head and tears stopped flowing down her cheeks. "Is it just for the sake of having a child or you're actually ready to parent?"

"Rish-"

"Answer me. Do you think you're ready to parent a child? Not because of societal pressure, not because of insecurities. Just because you want it. Close your eyes and think about it." I waited for her answer and sighed when she shook her head in negative.

I knew it.

It was just her insecurities speaking. She wanted to be sure that we were capable of having a baby after the miscarriage. I knew it was so wrong of her to think about something like that but always gave in to her demands. Our entire sex life changed and shaped as per her menstrual chart. The two to three days of ovulation became the most important days of month.

All the pregnancy tests she had till the date answered in negative and worsened her mood. It always took me a day at minimum to lighten her mood and to make her talk to me.

I wanted an end to it.

I wanted an end to the machine like lifecycle.

I wanted to live normally and carefree, as we did before.

She needs to understand that I went through the same loss as her. Dwelling in the pain forever and not moving on wasn't an option.

"I told you it's not in our hands. We even had a medical check-up on your insistence and you know that everything's fine with us. I repeat, nothing is wrong with us. It's just not our time. When we're ready to have child and parent it, we'd surely have it with us." I wiped the dry tears off her face and smiled when she wrapped her arms around me, hid her face in my neck and relaxed in my arms.

She had to know that I was there for her always and nothing was worth worrying.

"You scare me a lot."

"I'm sorry." I pulled her on my lap and raked my fingers through her locks.

"I need you to be happy. Promise me, you'll stop thinking about kids for now. Let's wait for a few more months. Okay?" She nodded and smiled when I tickled her sides.

I wasn't ready for a child now, after all this fiasco. Neither I was six months ago, when we experienced an unwanted miscarriage. It wasn't that I would've rejected our child if she got pregnant, I would've loved it with all my heart. But, had we provided him or her with all the emotional and physical security needed?

Shruti and I need a lot of time to figure out about our lives, to get emotionally strong to take the next step in our journey. I want to spend more time with her to understand her better.

Call me selfish, I want no-one between us for now.

Not even a child, our own blood.

"Shruti." When I got no answer from her, I looked down and saw her drowning in sleep. Although she looked serene while sleeping and I wanted to gaze her like that all my life, this wasn't the time to sleep. "Shruti... Wake up!" I shook her in my arms and her eyes opened slowly.

"What's the matter Rishi?!"

"Shruti, you just wake up thirty minutes ago. Wake up. Get fresh." She looked at me and scrunched her nose. "What? It's nine. Brush your teeth and have breakfast. Get up."

"Can we sleep?"

"No. Do you want to bath or eat first?"

"Rishi, please."

"Shruti..."

"I'll have my breakfast first." She immediately jumped off my lap and walked to bathroom. I woke up earlier than her and had already brushed minutes ago.

"By the time I'll prepare our breakfast."

She halted in her steps to restroom and turned to me. "Please, do it properly, not like the last time."

"Okay madam." I smiled and walked down to the kitchen. From last five weekends, I had been preparing the breakfast, ofcourse with Shruti's assistance. The first weekend's meal was fine enough to pass the eatable grade. Second, third and fourth one grew comparatively better. But the fifth one got ruined because I had mistakenly added excessive amount of salt in it.

I had to do it with excessive care.

I grilled the first garlic bread cheese corn sandwich and prayed that the taste was alright. When I sandwiched the third oregano bread with stuffing, I felt a pair of arms slithering around my torso. Just the touch was enough to let me know who it was.

"You're still not done?"

"No."

"Let me help you."

I pulled arms off me and faced towards her. "No, I want to learn it by myself. Sit there and enjoy the meal made by me." She nodded and stepped back to the dining table.

"Let's see if I could actually enjoy it." I tilted my head and smirked, showing her who was gonna be boss today. When I was done with all the sandwiches, I placed them in two plates and took them to the dining table. "Here we go." She squeezed minimal amount of ketchup and dipped the sandwich in it. As soon as she took the first bite, my heart came out of my body in anticipation.

It was no less than an exam for me.

"It's good." I sighed when she smiled and took my cue to start the breakfast. It was really good, not exaggerating. It was the first time I was proud of my cooking skills.

Time passed by as we rested for a few minutes and spent our time in watching TV. When I felt my eyes drooping, which was extremely common as I feel sleepy after eating, I gazed towards Shruti and saw her already being deep in slumber.

I untangled our legs and walked to the bathroom without waking her up. After a quick bath, I changed into fresh clothes and went to bed. As expected, she was still sleeping.

"Shruti." I called her name out and laughed when I heard her soft snores. The change in weather had probably clogged her nostrils. I pecked her cheeks and groped her in my arms. "Get up my lady." Her eyelids slowly crawled up and she looked at me with confusion. "You stink. Go and take a shower."

"Rishi..." She whined and I hugged her more tightly. "What's the time?"

"Ten thirty."

"What the-" She jerked up and pushed me away. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"You were sleeping and I had no heart to break your sweet dream."

"You just broke it. Nevermind. Is the geyser on?"

"Yup, it is waiting for you." She sighed and pecked my cheek before rushing to the bathroom. I smiled at her nature and picked my laptop to pay the pending bills.

"Rishi!" When I heard my name, I hummed and shut the laptop. "Can you shampoo my hair?" There wasn't something to think about twice. She loved it when I gave an oil massage to her head and shampooed it later. I had no problem with it and me washing her hair had become our usual routine.

"Yeah. Just a minute."

I walked to the balcony to fetch my towel, by chance if I needed it. As I pushed the door of bathroom and stepped my toe in, my gaze went towards her stature inside the shower area. I could trace her body movements through the translucent door as she raked her hand in her hair while standing under the shower.

Sliding the door, I stepped in. I tried so hard to hold myself from hopping upon her after seeing her naked state. Clothes make her look sexy and no-clothes turn her sexier. Call me a pervert for her, I don't mind. Water droplets ran down her hair and escaped through her curves. I gulped loudly and turned the shower off.

I didn't want to get wet just after taking a bath few minutes ago.

The changing weather won't do any good and I don't want any of us to get sick.

But it's too difficult to resist the temptation this vixen erupts in me everytime!

She smiled as soon as she saw me and handed the bottle of shampoo to me. I squeezed the liquid on her head and added a little amount of water before massaging it all over her head.

"Rishi."

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

An I-love-you just for the shampoo?

I jumped back when I felt drops of water on my skin. After looking up I came to know what the exact cause was. She had turned on the shower just to tease me.

She gets naughty sometimes.

"Shruti..." I whined and looked at my damp clothes. Those sweatpants of mine take a lot of time to dry!

"Sorry." She laughed and increased the intensity of shower. I narrowed my eyes at her and took no time in pulling her into my arms. My fingers worked together in tickling her sides and I heard her laugh more.

She looks more beautiful when she laughs!

My clothes were wet but I could care less about them. My priority was her for now. My hands fell rigid in their place as I stuck my mouth to her jaw and licked the droplets of water off her face. I settled my palm on her curves and pressed them firmly when I felt her breath rising.

Not just a butterfly, an entire zoo erupted in my gut as I pressed my mouth on hers. It felt as if I was kissing her after an eternity; too close yet too far away.

As she leaned her head forward when we tried mingling our breaths, the bitter water flowing through her hair touched our tastebuds. We pulled our head backwards and cleaned our mouths to regain the normal taste back.

"Your shampoo's bitter." I said and she nodded. My hands involuntarily went towards her head to wash the remaining soap off before it could turn things worse. When her locks were devoid of all the soapiness, I took a step back and pulled my t-shirt over my head to take it off. I couldn't go out in wet clothes. Spending entire day in soapy clothes wasn't an option either.

Taking all my clothes off along with my underwear, I threw them out on the bathroom floor. When my gaze went towards Shruti, I took a deep breath and gulped down all the saliva in my mouth which was watering excessively.

She rubbed the ends of hair underneath the shower while her round ass swayed side to side on a known tune. As her eyes locked with mine, my mind couldn't help but betray me and look south at her plump lips. Clear water droplets crawled down her lips and turned pink.

God!

I knew I had to suck them.

Now.

Without any delay.

I caught her off guard and put my lips on her. Before she could comprehend what was happening, I wrapped my arm around her back and pulled her closer. My hand palmed her ass and squeezed it with force which caused her to gasp.

As she felt my arousal on her belly, her hand wrapped around it, providing me with just the same warmth I needed, while her other hand slipped in my locks. I moved my mouth down to her jawline and felt her hold on me getting tighter.

"Shruti..." My heartbeat rose erratically as I felt her thumb rubbing upon the tip of my sensitive bundle of nerves. I turned her around and settled her hair on the right side of her neck while my mouth travelled down to kiss the crook of her neck.

She gasped as my lips moved down her back and grazed her spine. As she couldn't see me, she leaned her head back in my direction and sighed when my hand grasped her left breast. She took hold of my hand and palmed it tightly as I kneaded her soft flesh firmly.

My other hand crawled to her south and touched her sensitive bud down there. She jerked in my arms and held me with force as my fingers stimulated her nerves. My thumb continued the work while its two companions slipped inside her slowly. With her growing wetness, the speed of my fingers increased and in turn her moans did too.

"Stop it Rishi." She mumbled and I frowned.

What?!

But why?

"I can't take it anymore. I need you now." She arched back, whispered in my ears and I nodded with relief. I palmed my hardness, stroked it to make it ready for our workout and positioned it on her wet tract. As soon as I moved my hips forward, she moaned loudly and bucked her ass in my direction.

How long had it been?

Six days!

Six days to not being this close...

She rested her head on the translucent wall of our cubicle and tried to match my pace with her lower body. Her hands settled on the wall while mine were secured around her waist and chest.

As I increased my pace, my erection accidently slipped out of her. My gaze went down and my face lost all its colour after witnessing red structure on my skin when I tried to enter inside her again.

What the-

"Shruti, you're bleeding."

"Shit!" She turned around and faced me. "My periods started."

No wonder her mood was on a rollercoaster this entire week!

"Do you want to rest or shall we continue?" I asked and she sighed. Her lower lip jutted out as she gazed me.

"I don't wanna stop." I wasted no time in picking her up and fastened her legs around my torso. I secured her entire body between the wall and my arms and smiled when her hands slithered around my chest. "I've heard that sex during periods help in cramps! Let's verify it." She giggled and I shook my head vigorously before going inside her again.

During our escapade, I saw her cheeks reddening, her breath rising faster, her moans turning louder and her body responding beautifully to mine. All this was enough for me to know that she could feel the pleasure and was satisfied.

The sight of her breasts bouncing vigorously evoked a strange sensation in me and all I wanted to do was stop them.

And I did.

Not practically by stopping our activity but by pulling her breast in my mouth. I did it so fast that she got surprised with the sudden mischievousness of mine. When she understood what was happening, her fingers slipped into my locks and stroked them lightly.

A sound of hiss left her mouth as I took her nipple between my teeth and pinched it. My tongue immediately got to work and licked her skin to soothe it down.

I loved every second of it.

I stopped for a second, put her down and turned the shower off. Pinning her on the wall, I raised her left leg high up and found my way into her again. A loud moan escaped her mouth and she cupped my face as her eyes shut down. "Rishi..." This position was great! I could feel her insides and penetrate her deeper. "I want to tell you something."

"Hmm..."

"I want you to know that I love you. No baby, nothing. We're here, doing this just because I love you. Trust me, I have no intention to make a child right now. I know things haven't been good in these months and I... I've acted crazy." I stopped myself in an instant and looked at her when her heavy voice touched my ears.

This wasn't going in the right direction.

I mean, we did need to talk about it but I had no heart to see her cry.

"I'm sorry for not understanding you and dwelling in my own sorrows. But I want us to have a fresh start. I want to be together with you in whatever we do. Can we?" She took a deep breath while looking up and waiting for my answer and I raised my hands up to wipe her tears. Cupping her face, I pressed her cheeks inside, which made her lips look like a pout.

"Ofcourse, we can always have a new start. But you need to stop blaming yourself for all the things that happened. You did what seemed right to you and I did what I thought was right for us. No one's wrong. It's just that things don't go our way all the time." I smiled sadly and she nodded.

Ofcourse, we were shattered after her miscarriage but someone had to take the courage to handle everything maturely. I remember those nights I used to cry thinking about our child, but I had to hold myself just for Shruti. And, that's what everyone expected from me.

I pressed my lips on her pout and closed my eyes when her arms slithered around my back. We stood there for minutes without doing anything, just our lips lingering against one another.

"This husband of yours loves you and is never going to leave you alone. Never! We're together in the times of sorrow and happiness." She hummed and slipped her fingers in my locks.

Before I could have a chance to rethink about it, she deepened our kiss and tried wrapping a leg of her around my waist. I helped her do what she wanted to and sighed when she took hold of my junior. She broke the kiss and looked straight into my eyes while positioning me on her opening.

I took a deep breath as I felt her warmth again. Pinning her arms on the wall, I clasped her hands with mine and gazed my wife as her eyes remained closed. I rested my head against hers while my hips moved forward in their accordance.

Everything we did was slow and sweet. I didn't want to go hard on her when her periods had just began.

"Rishi, I'm near!" She moaned and I wasted no time in pulling her lips in mine. My pace increased as I felt her walls clenching. I had absolutely no control when I was with her.