Published on 20th February 2021.

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– S H R U T I –

Wedding.

Just the word is enough to bring shivers.

I don't want to be the centre of attention.

But this day makes me the sole harbinger of everyone's attention.

I don't want to marry.

Can I run away?

"Shruti!" Akriti shook me, pulling me back from my thoughts. "Where are you lost? Don't you want to marry?"

"I....." I wasn't able to say anything. Is this what brides feel on their wedding day?

Then I don't want to.

Court marriages are better.

But now, I can't change anything.

"Your baraat is here. So don't even try to run away." She said and I looked at her with shock. "What? I'm your own sister. I know what you could think at these times."

"Let's go." I said and she nodded while we went down.

Is this the right time to marry?

Even if I want to, I can't run away.

Do all marriages result in same?

What if my marriage turns out to be like Akriti's?

What if it becomes like mumma and papa's relationship?

I still remember my parents fighting over small matters when I was just ten. Akriti was fifteen and didn't care much about these things. But I couldn't take my mind off their fights all the day.

Sometimes, it was because of us. Sometimes, because of money and things like that.

They fought in early day, which made my mind stick to them all through the day. For a few days, I couldn't even study properly.

As for Akriti, she always tried to be away from them and their fights to focus on her studies.

But I couldn't ever do that.

I tried but I couldn't.

How could I chill around when my parents were never happy?

Although every thing is alright now, could I go back in past and change my life to better?

Ofcourse not.

"Shruti?" I heard a voice which pulled me back from my thoughts. I turned aside and saw Rishabh calling me. "You need to forward your hand." He said and I did the same.

When did I even sit in the mandap?

Maybe when I was busy in my thoughts.

As the wedding rituals went on, I followed everything but was nervous at the same time. What if I fail in any of the rituals? I really don't know anything about them.

How could you expect me to gracefully follow all the rituals when I don't even know how to light a matchstick?

Sigh!

As he tied the mangalsutra around my neck, I knew there was no back-up now. I closed my eyes and he filled my partition with sindoor. We followed rest of the rituals and were pronounced as husband and wife.

✨

When I liked him back in school days, I dreamt about him proposing me and us marrying happily. But wedding night?

Never.

We had our wedding just three nights ago and reception tonight. And I was well aware of the fact that we'll have our first night tonight.

Although I know him from my childhood, but it wasn't personally. We didn't even say a single word to each other in schooling days.

In short, he's my husband who's still a stranger to me.

And as for sex tonight, I don't know.

How can I lose my virginity just like that?

Even if he's my husband, we still don't know each other properly. I admit that I liked him and had a crush on him in childhood. But this doesn't make me lose my first time so easily.

Wouldn't it be called nothing but lust?

Also, if I am a virgin, I expect him to be the same.

But if he isn't, I can't really do anything now.

And why am I still a virgin?

Because I can't lose it to anybody. I never liked the idea of losing my first time in a one night stand.

When we were in our graduating days, Aditi forced me to go on a double-blind date. She was sad on my singularity. And the guy I met there was initially a good guy with etiquettes. We went on three lectures together and a few coffee dates, which were ofcourse forced on me by Aditi.

But as we proceeded, I came to know that he was a real creepy guy. On our seventh day together, he tried to kiss me and only I know how I escaped it. And that was the last day I saw that creepy guy.

And after that day, I never tried to be in a relationship. It was something I couldn't go through.

After graduating, I started working in the country's biggest law firm. When I was twenty four, I saw Akriti getting divorced, which made me lose my faith in men.

How can they easily cheat on their wife without feeling guilty?

But then, Parth isn't like them. From our childhood days, he helped girls in every single way. He literally stole his mother's pads to help out our class' girls in their periods.

I still don't know why Aditi didn't fall in love with him.

But what if Rishabh turns out to be like Yash Jiju?

No, he isn't my Jiju anymore. He's such a bastard.....

In their dating and early marriage days, he acted as if Akriti is everything for him and he can't live without her. But everyone knows the reality now.

As for mumma and papa, I've seen them fighting over small things in my childhood. But now, it's the opposite. Maybe their experience and aging brought them on the right track.

I don't want to go through the same phase like them.

But we can't escape fights in a real life relationship, can we?

The only thing we could do is staying away from getting angry over small things.

I was getting tired in my attire and wanted to change. But then, wouldn't it be rude to get comfortable when he would be rotting in his sherwani?

I was sitting on the edge of his bed and busy gazing his room which was decorated with candles and rose petals.

Why do sons get such grand rooms but daughters don't?

Hearing the door of his room opening, I turned my gaze towards the door and saw him closing the door. "You haven't changed? You should go and change your dress."

"Hmm..."

"It looks too heavy. I'll go and change in the adjacent room. You can use this room." He sighed and I walked towards the mirror to check for all the pins inserted in my hairs.

After a tiring work, I sighed and sat on the chair. I tried to open the hook of my necklace but it was hell bent on being stuck.

"Should I help you?" Rishabh said, making me shocked. When did he arrive? Ofcourse, when I was busy in searching for pins.

I nodded and he walked forward. Putting all my hairs on my left shoulder, he looked for the hook and tried unhooking it. While his attention was on the hook, mine was on his hands. The moment his fingers touched my upper back, I felt all the hairs on my body standing straight.

Goosebumps!

"Done." He stepped back and said. "You want to change here or in closet?"

"Closet." I said without thinking much. Standing up, I paced towards the first door I saw.

"That's bathroom." I heard him saying and averted my gaze around the room to search for another door. "It's left to you." He chuckled and I walked inside the closet.

I saw my luggage and unzipped it. And the first thing I came across was a lacy negligee. Who the hell packed it inside?

Putting it aside, I checked all of my clothes and found my pyjamas.

But, wouldn't it be too wierd to wear pyjamas on the first time when I'm spending the night in his room?

Picking up the least revealing nightie, I saw another door inside the closet and opened it. Seeing the bathroom, I sighed and went inside. So, his bathroom was having two doors. Great!

Removing the makeup off my face, I washed my face and applied the moisturiser. I brushed my hairs and stepped out, only to find him doing push-ups.

Wait a minute!

Don't men exercise before having sex?

Is her really preparing for that?

"Ri... Rish... Rishabh." I stuttered and he stood up, facing me. "You were..."

"I had a few cups of coffee today and couldn't sleep. Exercising is the only way to feel tired and sleepy." He said and I nodded. He took a glass of water and drank it while I looked around the room.

Why was the room getting too warm?

Maybe because of candles.

"You want some water?"

"Hmm... I'll take it." I said in my lowest voice and started walking towards the mug, until I tripped. I closed my eyes, in anticipation to fall down but couldn't feel my butt on the floor.

Opening my eyes, I saw his face in the first sight. He was the one who prevented me from falling down.

"Rish-" I was about to call him before he made me stand up. Seeing the tension in room, I stepped towards the water jug and poured it in the other glass.

I was about to take the first sip but he shouted, "Don't drink it while standing. Sit down." I immediately sat down on the bed and took a few sips.

What's with sitting down and drinking?

Even mumma mocks me all the time about this!

"Which position would you prefer?" He said and I choked on my water. Lifting my head up, I saw him looking down at his wet clothes. He looked up to my eyes and said, "I think I need to change."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. By the way, I was asking which position do you prefer? You like to sleep on your right or left?"

Okay, so he was talking about my sleeping position.

And I thought...

"Left." I said and he nodded.

As he went inside the closet, I kept the glass aside and looked the condition of bed. A few minutes ago, it was filled with petals, but now it was deserted.

Thank God! Even I didn't want to face such embarrassing moments.

Crawling on the bed, I reached the duvet and pulled it over my head as air-con was on. Otherwise, no-one in Delhi would use a blanket in warm October, that too with the growing rate of global warming.

I mean, five years ago, you could feel that chilled breeze in early October. But now, you need to wait for winters till December, which would probably end on a short term by mid February.

But, won't it look rude when he's wide awake and I'm sleeping peacefully with the blanket over my head?

As I heard the door opening, I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep. Waiting for him on the bed wasn't a good idea!

Feeling the bed dipping beside me, I opened my eyes and saw him looking me. He smiled and shook his head.

What was that?

Did I do something wrong?

"You don't need to do this. If you're feeling uncomfortable in sharing the bed, you can tell me. I'll go and sleep on the couch." He said and sat up. But before he could go, I stopped him.

"No wait! I mean you don't need to change your sleeping place because of me. You can sleep here. I'll take the couch." I said and he glared.

"Do I look like someone who would let my wife sleep on the couch, while I'm relaxing on the bed?"

My wife?

I am his wife...

And it's true.

But I can't believe.

"Uhh... We can share the bed. It would be beneficial for both." I said and he nodded before lowering the temperature of air-con.

As he slipped inside the duvet, I shifted more to the edge. Lying close to him, I would be considered nothing but desperate!

The air was cold and, even the blanket wasn't helping. Lying in the foetus position, I tried to touch my bare waist to gain some heat, but the idea failed as I wasn't wearing shirt. I was in the nightie, which reached my feet.

"Ri... Rishabh..." I stuttered due to cold. Also, I wasn't sure if waking him up was a good idea or not.

"Hmm..."

"It's cold. If you don't mind, can you increase the temperature?"

"Sure. I thought that I was the only one feeling cold." He said and directed the remote towards the air-con. I gazed the remote and saw the temperature— 17 degree.

Who the hell sleeps at this chilled temperature?

Increasing the temperature to 25 degree, he kept the remote on side-table and looked towards me, "Is it okay?

"Yes." I said and closed my eyes to fall into sleep while counting sheeps.

One sheep. Two sheeps. Three sheeps. Four sheeps. Five sheeps. Six—

Thank you for reading.....

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