There's a soft, steady beeping. It's driving me crazy. My mouth is dry. My muscles are sore. It's way too bright. I just want to go back to sleep. I groan, blinking slowly until my eyes adjust to the light.

"Y/N? Hey! Hey, you're up! How are you feeling? Wait, don't talk! Your throat needs to heal. God, I was so worried. I thought- well, you know. Do you remember what happened? Don't talk! Just nod," Florence rambles. I nod, signaling that I do in fact remember everything that happened.

A crazy stalker slit my throat and then we killed him.

"Um, I'll let the doctor know you're awake." She begins to stand up, but I stop her with my hand on her arm.

"Sydney?"

"She's still with Ash. She's safe, I promise. We haven't told her what happened; we wanted to see how you would wanna approach it. Oh, it's been about 14 hours by the way. You've been asleep for most of it. Which is good! You need your rest!"

"Flo, what's wrong?"

"You're not supposed to be talking." I give her a pointed look and she caves. "I almost lost you, and it was fucking terrifying. I just need a minute, that's all."

I don't know what to say, so I just hold her hand. A few minutes pass and I squeeze her hand, sliding over on the hospital bed. "Come here," I whisper.

"Darling, you need to rest."

"I don't care, I'll rest better with you next to me. Just come here." She gives in and gently gets in the bed next to me, laying stiff like she's afraid to touch me. "Flo, relax. You're not gonna hurt me." She puts her arm around me and I lay my head on her chest, tangling our legs together because why is it so cold in this damn hospital room?

I don't know how I'm going to explain any of this to Syd. I don't know where JJ is. I don't know if there's going to be a trial for Ben's death. I don't know anything, except that I fucking love this woman with every piece of me, and I don't ever want to let her go.

~

"I feel fine. Can I please just go home?" I ask the doctor. "I feel like I've been in here forever."

"It's been three days," he deadpans. "And yes, you can go home today. You just have to take it slow, okay? I'll get a nurse started on your release forms."

I dramatically whisper thank god before swinging my body off the hospital bed. I untie this stupid hospital gown and Flo hurries to close the door so the entire hospital doesn't see me in my underwear. I toss the gown at her as I rifle through my duffel bag, looking for some sweatpants. I pull them on and realize Flo is staring at me.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing," she says, blushing slightly.

I click my tongue at her. "You're like a teenage boy. They're boobs, Florence. You can touch later." Her mouth bobs open and closed as she searches for the right words. "And you can do that later too. Right now I just wanna see my daughter."

~

"Momma! I'm home!" Syd yells as she enters the apartment. I already explained everything to Ash, so now I just have to figure out how to tell Syd why there's a huge bandage on mommy's throat.

"Hey baby," I greet, kneeling down to meet her in a hug.

"Momma, what happened to your throat?" she frowns.

"Well...um, this really bad person tried to hurt me, but he didn't win, and we don't have to worry about him anymore."

"Oh...Was it my dad?" she whispers, catching me off guard. I make eye contact with Flo, then Ash.

"No, it wasn't your dad, but he knew your dad. What are you feeling right now, Syd?"

"I don't know. Does it hurt?"

"A little. But I'm okay. It's okay for things to hurt sometimes. And it's okay to cry, to admit that it hurts. It's just part of being human." She nods, hugging me again.

"Je t'aime, Momma."

"I love you too, baby. Now, let's eat some ice cream for dinner because mommy hasn't gotten groceries in three weeks."

"Yay!" she screams, running to the kitchen.

"Yeah, yay," I repeat. "God, I'm bad at parenting."

"No, you're really not," Flo says from being me. "Hell, I don't know how you handled that so well."

I shrug. "It's just a matter of being honest. She's five, not stupid. After the shit we've been through together, the least she deserves is the truth."

"Then let's tell her," Flo says, and I immediately know she's talking about our relationship.

"A lot has happened. Not tonight, but soon, okay?" She nods and winks, kissing my cheek before joining Syd in the kitchen.

"I'm still pissed at you for not telling me about the whole psycho-stalker thing," Ash states grumpily. I roll my eyes and pull her into a hug.

"Thank you for taking care of Syd."

"You're welcome, honey. Just take care of yourself, okay? And go get some of that ass," she whispers, gesturing wildly at Florence.

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"Unfortunately."

hey, hoes. this is a really short update but I felt bad for disappearing off the face of the earth and immediately giving a cliffhanger😭