《Her Song (Florence Pugh)》Don't You Want Me

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"Y/N, meet your daughter. Congratulations on a healthy baby girl," the nurse said, handing me the screaming 'bundle of joy' who seemed more like a bundle of chaos than anything. Her face was bright red and a small tuft of thin hair stood up straight on the top of her tiny head.

"Hey, baby," I laughed. "I'm your momma. I can't believe I'm finally meeting you. This won't be easy, but we're gonna get through it just fine, okay? I promise."

I gently kissed her forehead, hot tears falling down my face, heavy with emotion.

After cleaning her up, the nurses left me alone with my newborn daughter. She had finally stopped crying, looking up at me with wide, innocent eyes. She held gently onto my finger as I rocked her to sleep in my arms for the first time.

A nurse came in and we filled out the birth certificate. Sydney Fleur Y/L/N.

When I was told I had a visitor, I had no idea who it would be. I had hoped it would be my parents or a family member coming to forgive me. I was wrong.

My breath caught in my throat when he walked in the room. He smiled a sweet smile that had the nurse convinced he was a good man. He wasn't, and he never will be. "Could you give us a minute?" he asked kindly. The nurse nodded with a smile and left the room. I couldn't find my voice to ask her to stay.

"Long time no see, Y/N," he said, sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed. I clutched my baby closer to my chest. "What? Not even gonna say hi?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" I finally croaked out.

"Well, I came here to see my niece, obviously," he said smugly, knowing damn well what he did.

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"She's not your niece," I snapped bitterly.

"Oh really? Because last time I checked, my brother is the one who got you knocked up."

"Get out," I cried.

"No. No, I don't think I will. You know, I haven't stopped thinking about you. The way you looked when he held you down. The way you screamed. The way you begged me for help. So stupid. So naïve. I have to see it again. I have to have you for myself. It was stupid to make Mark do it. I should've taken the prize for myself."

"Leave, now."

"Sweetheart, it's cute that you think you have any control over me. Your parents don't believe you. The cops don't believe you. The whole damn town knows what a slut you are. It's a good thing you're pretty, 'cause there's nothing in that head of yours."

"Look, Ben, you have five seconds to get out or I'm calling security to drag you out."

"Oh yeah? Is that what you're gonna do? Newsflash, Y/N: I'm five years older than you, way stronger, and closer to the phone. So threaten me all you want, but you can't do shit, and we both know it," Ben sneered.

I cried, my shoulders slumping more. "Why'd you make Mark do it? Why make your own brother..."

He seemed to think it over before laughing shortly, sharply. "Because I wanted to. And because I could."

"You had your fun. Just leave me and my kid alone. What the hell do you even want from me?"

He smirked. It looked kind at first glance, but his eyes were menacing, and I knew better by then. "I want you. I want to feel you the way Mark did. I want you to be mine, the way you should've been from the start."

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"You're delusional," I laughed humorlessly. I swung my hand backward and pressed the code blue button on the wall.

"You bitch," he spat as people began rushing toward the room. "I will find you again, Y/N. You can't run forever."

And those were his last words to me.

Until five years later.

I've never told anybody exactly what happened that night at that stupid party. Or that day at the hospital when Syd was born. Not even Ash. I always figured it would be something I'd take to the grave. There's no point in going to the cops; they won't do anything until he kills me. But now...now I think maybe I should have told someone. Changed my name. Done anything to hide better.

He found me.

He found me, and there's not a damn thing I can do.

It's been so long. So long that I thought we were safe. I guess not. Maybe he's just dumber than I thought so it took him five years to find me. Or maybe he was just waiting until I was truly happy, just so he could take it all away from me.

I check that all the windows are shut and the door is locked, then pull all the curtains closed tight. I quietly spin a chair in the living room to face the apartment door. I'd feel more comfortable if I had my gun, but I got rid of it after I quit my job at the club. I had a kid to think about and wasn't in imminent danger because of my job anymore, so I got rid of it. I regret that now.

He can get to me. He can hurt me, he can kill me, he can do whatever he wants to me. But he's not getting to my kid. He will never have the chance to hurt my family. Syd, Florence, and Ash will be safe. Even if I have to die protecting them.

~

When I met you

I picked you out, I shook you up and turned you around

Turned you into someone new

Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet

Success has been so easy for you

But don't forget, it's me who put you where you are now

and I can put you back down too

Don't, don't you want me?

You know I can't believe it

When I hear that you won't see me

Don't, don't you want me?

You know I can't believe it

When you say that you don't need me

It's much too late to find

You think you've changed your mind

You'd better change it back

Or we will both be sorry

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