《Her Song (Florence Pugh)》I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

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The bright morning sun cuts through the curtains, illuminating the unfamiliar bedroom. My eyes flutter open as I groan quietly. I feel around the mattress, confused at the lack of another body next to me. I sit up and notice a note on the pillow.

Morning, beautiful. Sorry to leave you like this but I had to go to work. Call me later :)

I sigh and gather my clothes off the floor, stiffly pulling them on my tired body. I find my phone in the pocket of my jeans; unsurprisingly, the battery is dead. I leave the apartment, locking the door behind me. When I get to my car, the dashboard says it's 9am, which means Ash is already at the shop with Syd. And Florence has probably already stopped by.

I drive home in a daze, inattentively passing by cars and stoplights. I really need caffeine.

Upon arriving at the apartment, the first thing I do is plug in my phone. I hop in the shower as it charges, then brew some coffee to wake myself up. Eventually, I meander back to my phone—which is now fully charged—and check my notifications. I click on the most recent text, which is from Ash.

You were supposed to tell me if you weren't coming home, asshole.

At least you got laid thoooo

Assuming you didn't get kidnapped and/or murdered, that is.

Anyway, we're at the shop. Take your time.

Thank you, Ash. Sorry for not texting. I got distracted.

She only answers with the middle finger emoji, prompting me to roll my eyes. I exit our chat and see several new messages from a random number. With furrowed eyebrows, I open the string of messages. What the...?

Guilt claws up my throat as I read. I feel like I'm gonna puke, my heartbeat thumping in my chest. Regret. That's what it is. That cold-hearted bitch named regret. I have no idea how to respond.

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Florence?

I stare at the screen for several minutes, chewing my lip in anticipation. It finally shows that she read the message, but she doesn't reply.

Flo, please answer. I know it's you. Can we please just talk about this?

After ten minutes, both texts are read but there's still no reply. "Dammit," I mutter to myself, unplugging my phone and dumping my coffee in the sink. I grab my keys off the counter and leave the apartment, taking the steps two at a time.

My fingers tap anxiously on the steering wheel as I drive, checking my phone at every red light. Throwing the car in park outside the shop, I rush inside and stop in front of the counter, asking "Ash, has she been in yet?"

"Wow, morning to you too."

"Has Florence come in yet?" I repeat impatiently.

"No, she hasn't. I think you pissed her off with your date."

I groan frustratedly, slumping on a stool.

"Morning, Momma! Did you have fun at your sleepover?"

"Morning, Syd. Sure, it was...loads of fun," I answer dejectedly.

~

Around noon, I'm filling out some paperwork at the counter when a blonde woman sits next to me. "Hey, Scarlett. What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk," she says with a small smile. "Have you talked to Florence?"

I huff an insincere laugh and shake my head. "She texted me last night. I answered her this morning and now she's ignoring me. I don't know what to do."

"Well, she showed up at my house around midnight last night. She was drunk...like, really drunk. She was going on about you and some girl and- well, it was hard to decipher what she was saying, but she was clearly upset. Y/N, what is going on with you guys?"

"I don't know." With my head in my hands, I repeated "I don't know. I really like her, Scarlett. But she has Zach."

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"That doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings for you."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's pretty obvious, sweetheart. What she's doing isn't fair to you, I know. But just try to consider what she's dealing with, too."

Scarlett's right. I've been so focused on my feelings that I haven't stopped to think about the fact that Florence is probably so conflicted.

"What do you think I should do?" I ask Scarlett.

"I would give you her address and tell you to go see her, but...he'll probably be there too. Just call her, okay? I doubt she'll answer, but I know she'll listen to the voicemail," she suggests. I nod and she says, "I really have to go. Rose and Colin are waiting for me. Good luck, Y/N."

"Thank you, Scarlett."

She leaves and I stare at my phone, debating what I want to say. Walking out back for some privacy, I create a new contact with the number from last night and press call. It rings over and over, until I'm finally sent to voicemail.

"Hey, Florence. I didn't really expect you to answer, but I just need to talk to you. About those texts...you have to see where I'm coming from. As much as I've grown to like you over the past couple weeks, you have a boyfriend. So, yes, I agreed to a date and I spent the night with her. But you can't be mad about that because how do you think I feel when I see you with him? I know you're probably feeling conflicted, so I'm giving you some space to figure things out. I'll be here when you're ready. Just don't be a stranger, okay? See you around," I end the voicemail with a shaky breath.

I walk back into the shop, plastering on a fake smile to greet customers and fool Syd. I just hope Florence comes back to me. Even if we can't be anything more than friends, I want her in my life.

~

It's around closing time, and Syd is asleep in a bean bag chair. The bell rings and in walks a man. Brown hair, older, conventionally attractive. Boyfriend.

"Uh, hey, Zach," I greet apprehensively.

"Don't. Just stop, okay? I heard the message you left Florence," he spits, stepping much closer to me than I'm comfortable with. "And you're gonna back off, got it?"

"I don't-"

"I'm her boyfriend. She is mine, so stay the fuck away from her. God, I can't believe Florence brought me here and introduced me to you. I can't believe I didn't see what you're doing. If I find out you're trying anything with her, I will ruin you. Think about the influence I have. I could destroy you and your shop's reputation with a single post. I never wanna see you again."

I pause, raising my eyebrows. "Are you done, or...?"

"Do you understand me?" he shouts, slamming his hand down on the counter next to us.

"Yes, yes I understand you."

"Good. I blocked your number on Florence's phone. Don't even brother trying to contact her. She won't be coming back here," he growls before storming out of the shop.

I sigh heavily, closing my eyes. I feel a tug on my wrist and look down to find Syd staring at me with tears in her eyes. "Momma, why was that man yelling?" she whispers, her lip quivering.

I hoist her up and hold her on my hip. "He was just upset, honey. It's fine, I promise. You have nothing to worry about," I reassure her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. I feel her nod against my shoulder.

Nothing to worry about at all.

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