I woke up cuffed to the house again, this time it was both of my ankles. I can walk alright but I don't know how I'm gonna get out of these. These are honestly really thick.

I just got done brushing my teeth after getting out of the shower. My hands and ankle sting a bit still but those are freshly bandaged. Trevor likes to look at the one on my cheek and talk about ways to remedy it when it heals, he said the best way to heal it was to not cover it all the time and let it breathe.

Thankfully Trevor didn't do much to me for punishment last night except for shackle me and bite the hell out of certain parts of my body. Other than that everything has been normal.

I sat on the bed and turned on the tv and started eating the breakfast he made: French toast with honey and orange juice.

"Marti, my darling come here," Trevor said popping his head into the room.

I put the tray down and walked out. I saw a chair in the living room with cuffs on it. "What's this?" I asked, suspicious of this set up.

There's a plastic mat on the floor too. Oh my god no...

"Come here," He said, a little less sweetly this time.

I walked over very slowly and cautiously. He grabbed me and shoved me in the chair then cuffed me down. "Trevor wait please, no, stop!" I begged. I tried to push on him and grab at his hands but no luck. He pushed my chest against the back of the chair and grabbed the back of my neck, digging his nails in my skin.

"Please Trevor s-stop...w-what are you doing?" I asked, he stopped then walked around me and went to the table. "Trevor please don't," I cried out when I saw him pull out a razor blade.

He stared me down and came back. "Just making sure you learn your lesson," he whispered in my ear as he walked behind me.

"My less-" I winced out in pain. I could feel horrible pain on my back. "T-Trevor ar-are you cutting me?!" I asked frantically. He gave another cut. And another. He was going slow and deep for some, making me scream out, he shoved cloth into my mouth. He went quick for others making me jump and jerk. "Trevor please stop!" I screamed. "Please!" I begged but my words were muffled anyways.

He didn't say much the entire time, just chuckled at me jumping and jerking around. He continued cutting into my back and parts of my arms. The cloth fell from my mouth entirely as I screamed loudly out in pain and he covered my mouth with his hand, that was covered in my blood. "Your blood is beautiful Marti, did you know that?" He said sinisterly. I tasted my own blood inside my mouth and winced out in fear.

I'm going to have these scars forever. I can never forget this. How could he do this to me. I thought he loved me... I'm such an idiot I even tried to convince myself and remember that he didn't actually love me and that he had problems but fuck... I'm still so heartbroken.

"I-I," was all I could get out. I could feel myself becoming light headed and put my head down.

"I'll take care of you no worries," he said. He untied me but my back was stinging so badly I couldn't even stand. He picked me up and brought me to the tub and let hot water spray on my back. I yelled out in pain and he clamped his hand over my mouth.

"You brought this upon yourself Marti," he said to me and continued spraying my back. "I love you," he whispered.

This isn't love. What is this. Why is he saying this to me after doing such a thing. He's so cruel. He's so twisted. At least he didn't kill me... but how bad is my back. I haven't even seen it. These are permanent scars I'll have forever.

What if I never get out of this?

Finally done with the shower he stands me up and hands me a miniature mirror so I can see my back in the big mirror behind me.

He's ruined my skin... there's so many slashes and marks... why...

He turned me around and started to put cream on my back and bandaged me up. He put his hands around my neck and squeezed gently. "Those marks are gonna look so cute when they're all healed just you wait, then everyone will know for certain you're mine... cause we have been together for at least..." he looked off and bobbed his head pretending to think hard, "27 days right?" He asked with a wicked smile, looking me dead in the eye in the mirror, squeezing my neck tighter. My eyes widened.

He knows about the cravings.

"Trevor..." I said trying to get out of his grasp, "I can explain."

I can't explain but I can stall him maybe.

"No need to explain, I'm not mad at that," he chuckled, "I understand you want to know how long you've been here, I'll buy you a calendar instead alright?" He said and pulled me back easily, he kissed me and hugged me softly. I winced in pain from the cuts but he was careful not to touch them too much.

He's so fucked up... what the hell kind of emotion am I supposed to have towards him.

He handed me soft clothing and he slipped them on me quickly and helped me lay in the bed, he ran his fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead then my cheek.

"You're adorable Marti," he whispered against my lips, "I'll go get you your food," he said then walked out of the room. I looked at the window I had kicked and saw it was boarded up with wood already. It covered the entire window.

He came back in and handed me a bowl of chicken, Mac n cheese, and rice. He had his own and a blunt with two water bottles. He handed me a bottle and flipped on the tv.

He lit the blunt and took the first hit then handed it to me. I took a big hit and let myself sink into the high.

I'm so stalled for words. I can't think of anything to say or think I'm at such a loss.

A feeling of dread and hopelessness mixed with mania has overwhelmed me. I need a better escape plan than that, maybe if his friends knew just what he does they would help me? Maybe?

Alex would've probably helped me.

———

I sighed slumping back against Trevor as we did another day of delivering drugs and dealing with some drama. He patted my head and sighed too.

He gave me a calendar and let me catch up on how long we've "been in love" as he claims.

I'll let him stay thinking that we're in love as long as he doesn't hurt me again.

My cuts have healed but they're still extremely visible right now, especially the deep ones, they're still super dark pink. I'll have these on my body for the rest of my life I'm sure of it.

"Let's stop at a restaurant here, I wanna order some food," Trevor said. We pulled up to the drive thru of this restaurant and got food for everyone. Before we pulled up to the window, Trevor gripped my hair and pulled me up, then whispered in my ear, "I know you're a smart cupcake but, do anything and I'll mark you again got it?"

"Yes sir," I replied, nodded, then stayed silent. I sat up in his lap and just looked at the floor.

I held onto the food and looked into the eyes of the girl working the drive thru. She used to go to my school but I don't think she recognizes me because she didn't react at seeing me at all. I must look different.

We drove off and arrived at the house and started eating. I ordered chicken with fries and a root beer. I ate everything pretty quickly and sat back, Trevor pulled me close to him to cuddle and we watched the tv. House of 1000 corpses was on.

"This is my favorite movie," he said.

"Yeah I can imagine why," I teased. He chuckled at that and patted my head.

This was kind of nice just sitting here and doing nothing.

The popcorn was passed around and I took a handful to munch on.

His friends fell asleep quickly on the couches and I was dozing off myself before Trevor picked me up and carried me to the bed. I was terrified at what he was going to do. But all he did was lay me down gently and kiss my forehead.

"Goodnight Marti," he whispered.

After about 10-15 minutes he turned off all the lights, the TV, and came to the room.

"Goodnight guys," I heard him say to his friends and close the bedroom door.

He laid next to me and wrapped his arms around me, "goodnight my love," he whispered and kissed my shoulder. I sighed in relief and became comfy.

———

53 days

"Wake up Marti!" Trevor shouted angrily. I shook awake and looked at him. He was standing in the door way and had a weird smile on his face.

"Is everything alright?" I asked and gripped the sheets.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU FUCKING BITCH!" He yelled at me.

"W-What?" I asked.

"You think I don't know your birthday? You may keep it private on social media but it's not private on your I.D. I know today is your birthday," he said and came towards me with his hands behind his back, he put his hand forward when he got to me and showed me a card with a small box.

I accepted them, "thank you Trevor," I said and opened the card first.

"Happy birthday!" It said on the front. I opened it and a hand written message was in there:

"Oct. 7th, 2018

Marti, Happy 19th birthday.

Tonight we're going to a party, there'll be new people to meet there too that are excited to meet you and people that you know already. We'll have a proper birthday celebration for you another night, this is a once a year kind of event, that's the only reason why we're definitely going. It's an invite only kinda deal.

I love you,

Trevor"

My heart stung at the last part. It was written so beautifully in cursive and it made me want to scream.

"I love you"

I looked up at him, "what kind of party?"

"Open your other present," he said. I opened the other one and there was a spiked collar inside. I looked up at him confused. "It's an adult party, and since you have that collar, no one will try to take you because they'll know you belong to me," he said, "you'll be on my leash." He said and kissed my lips.

"Hah... so... a sex party?" I asked blushing madly.

"Kinda, add BDSM and club into the mix and you got it. What's the problem? I thought you've fucked plenty of times before?" He teased.

Ugh... he knows I haven't he's such an ass. I don't know how to feel about this kind of event.

"Such a scaredy cat."

"I promise you I'm not scared," I said, coming back at him.

He gripped my hair and kissed my lips, "I might fuck you during this party. Take you in front of everyone," he chuckled. "Then you won't be a virgin anymore." I just rolled my eyes at him and he laughed, "I'm just kidding... kinda," he said as he walked out. "Get changed! Your clothes are on the bed!" He yelled through the door. I looked at the bed and saw a white button up, black jacket, and black slack shorts and blue tie.

I sighed and got changed quickly. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair then came out to the living room. "So?" I asked.

"Adorable, but where's your collar?" He asked. I pulled it out of my pocket. "Put it on."

"Do I really have to p-"

"Yes, it's to keep you safe. Basically at this BDSM party, you are called my sub, I am called your dom there. And that lets others know that you're mine and they can't touch you without permission. But they might say things to you to try and tease you. You'll see others wearing collars so you don't have to feel alone I promise you. Now put the collar on please," He said beckoning a little annoyed.

I put it on quickly and kept my head down. He came over to me, brought my chin up and hooked a leash on the collar. "You are so cute," I gave him an annoyed but embarrassed look.

"Am I a dog now or something?" I muttered.

"No you're my Marti and you can't run from me," he said smiling at me, he kissed my lips and cheek then pulled me out of the house. He pushed me into the side of his mustang and cuffed me to the door and shut it. I tried to put on my seatbelt but I couldn't. When he got into the car he put it on for me while kissing my lips softly, he bit my bottom lip and pulled.

I couldn't help but blush at how passionate his kissing was right now. He lit a blunt, took a hit and blew the smoke out, then started the car, turning on some music. He passed me the blunt and let me take the next couple of hits while he was picking songs. I sat back and relaxed in the chair, I could feel the high almost instantly. "I don't want you drinking too much and getting hungover." He smiled at me and bit his lip.

Oh fuck that's kinda hot. I'm going to hell. I glanced at his phone, he turned on the song "Animal" by Chase Holfelder. It sounded lovely.

I blinked at him shyly. He took the blunt and took a few hits and stared into my eyes intensely while taking them. He gripped my hair softly and kissed my neck. And he chuckled, "you're so cute." He kissed me again, pushing his warm tongue against mine.

Then handed me the blunt, "smoke more," he whispered against my lips then sat back at bit. He unbutton my jacket and my shirt. Then placed his hand in my shirt and grabbed at my nipple, and pinched, I let out a whimper then took some hits finally, he smiled finally and chuckled, "good boy."

This is so bad. I shouldn't be enjoying this. On the drive over I had to wear a black wig and a black eye mask. We drove through the city and I caught glimpses of people.

Glimpses of life. Glimpses of normalcy. Things I took for granted like walking to the pizza shop or smoking a cigarette at the bar with a friend when I got drunk once in a blue moon.

Even just sitting at the bus stop. Washing dishes at my first honest job I had that only lasted a few months. I'll forever cherish those simple moments now as they can never happen again.

"We're almost here," he mentioned as we pulled up to a fancy apartment complex looking building, he slipped on his black eye mask quickly. His had a red slash design through the center. Mine was a plain black with a frill and lace piece on one side that covers my scar.

We got out of the car and he walked me down the alleyway to a creepy looking door. He knocked twice then three times, a little window opened and an eye looked us up and down. Trevor gave a little wave and the there was a chuckle, the door opened, "come on in man," a tall man wearing a red eye mask chuckled and welcome us in, "hello Marti, happy 19th birthday, my name is Gold," he said to me.

"Hello, thank you very much, Mr. Gold," I said and smiled at him.

He patted my head, "this ones a cutie you better keep a strong grip on him," Gold chuckled. I stood up and noticed he had a friendly smile on his face, "Everyone here is very cool, but if anyone causes you any problems just let one of the staff members know, we're all wearing red eye masks. Or me personally, everyone knows I'm a dom." He smirked. "Consent is mandatory."

Tell Trevor that.

"Thank you, I appreciate that," I said and then we walked more down the hallway then were brought into another small room. Where the music could be heard as a thumping muffle. Then we were patted down intensely and Trevor's gun was pulled out, "very nice," then it was handed back to him.

They're handing it back? Wtf? I-? That must mean others have their weapons on them too.

"Thank you," Trevor said and put it back in the armpit holster. The same thing happened with all of his weapons and drugs. They both took bumps of cocaine quickly together and laughed at old times. I stood awkwardly while a person stared at me, mouthing to me that they wanted to fuck me. My face was bursting into red as I turned my head away and that person chuckled.

We opened the door to another room, a much bigger room it was like a night club with people dancing everywhere and everyone was wearing leather or barely any clothing at all. Some people stopped what they were doing to stare at me and Trevor, I got a bit nervous and tripped a little bit and thankfully no one laughed at me, I just noticed some people lick their lips.

Strange but not mean at least.

Thankfully the lights around us were now red and flashing so no one could see me blush but I didn't feel as nervous as before. Trevor is into humiliation I figured public humiliation would be his thing too, I feared the other doms would be like that too but I suppose they know how to treat others.

Trevor handed me the blunt from before and had me light it. I took a hit and he held my leash tighter and pulled me closer to him. I laughed, then blew the smoke into his face and he smirked at me, "you're so adorable, don't be so nervous, no one will make fun of you unless you ask them to." He shouted. The music was blaring but thankfully I heard him. I nodded in understanding and he gave me a reassuring wink.

That's good to know, makes me feel a lot better about being here for sure.

We walked to a way less loud and less crowded area. I saw chairs aligned against the black walls and the floors were covered with mats. I got a little concerned because of things Trevor did with mats but I shook it out of my head quickly.

There's no way that stuff could happen here...

Trevor and I sat down, he pulled me into his lap, the chairs were quite comfy and Trevor stroked my hair so it was becoming nice honestly. The lights started to dim as more people came into the room. We weren't the only pair and I wasn't the only sub on a leash.

Trevor was right, we're not the only ones.

I looked to see a man in a suit pulling a woman on a leash towards the center of the room. There was the contraption I've never really seen before. He pulled her clothes off and grabbed her throat. Trevor squeezed my thigh. I looked at him and he winked at me.

He handed me a glass of alcohol and put his finger in my mouth against my tongue, he pushed a pill inside with his finger and whispered into my ear, "swallow it or punishment." I accepted the drink and I took a sip, swallowed the pill and looked back at him, "it was ecstasy no worries, it won't hurt you, only make you feel better." He said, I bit my lip.

Such a jerk either way.

He moved my face and made me look back at the woman and she was completely naked and being pulled up to the contraption, bent over. A random guy from the crowd came up to her and started having sex with her.

I looked back at Trevor, "what's your plan here?" I asked.

"Oh I'm never gonna put you up there I'm way too possessive of you, don't worry about me trying to share with just anyone anytime soon," he said smugly.

With just anyone?

I ignored my dirty thoughts and looked back. They were whipping her and stuffing every hole she had. I looked down at the ground, I didn't exactly want to watch this.

We were there for a while I feel like, I looked around the room and saw everyone else making out with their subs, having sex in their chairs, other various things. Me and Trevor were the only ones who weren't doing anything sexual, he was massaging my inner thighs and playing with my hair but that's it.

"I'm not letting anyone see you naked, so I'll tease you outside of your clothes for now," he whispered against my neck. The girl was screaming out and saying she was climaxing. I looked around more to see others climaxing as well.

No wonder it's a once a year event this is intense...