"Yuri, he left."

_________________________________________________________

After the junior world championship, Katrina could feel something was off with her brother. Viktor apologised relentlessly for a whole day for not being there when she won her last junior gold medal, saying that he and Chris went to get drinks after she went to bed and had a little too much - he had slept through her performance but he got a horrid hangover which Katrina could only see as Karma. But even once they got back home to St Petersburg, things weren't the same anymore. She waited a good half an hour for her brother to watch her in the studio, as he had done since she started to train for competitions, before she gave up and practiced by herself. When she saw him on the ice, he didn't shout her name or talk to her -or anyone- and just practiced the short routine he'd began working on with a far off look on his face - the only time he talked to her was when he decided to head home early and that he'd pick up dinner later.

Katrina wasn't used to seeing her brother so drained, it was like the glowing spark to his personality was dimming a little everyday, she didn't like seeing her brother like this, this wasn't the Viktor she had known her entire life. The Viktor that had let her dress him up and play tea with her dolls with so much enthusiasm and gusto - he never discouraged her and would let her stick various sparkly clips in his long hair. The Viktor that had gone to all her school plays, sat right at the front with a camera to film everything and cheered louder than any of the parents. The Viktor that called her school to say she was sick so he could take her shopping for the entire day when her friends had been mean to her - taking her to literally every single shop and buying so much cake at a local patisserie cafe that she had forgotten why she had been so upset. Now he just seemed lifeless.

Yakov told her that it was probably a phase and he'd pick himself up like normal once he found new inspiration for his next routine. A week went by and Katrina wasn't so sure. She knew her brother, it wasn't like previous times, he was uninspired because he was bored - Viktor didn't see anyone challenging him like they used to. Everyone was so used to him winning that they had given up on rivalling him, even Chris, and without a rival he didn't try as hard as he used to. Plus, he wasn't getting younger, as much as Katrina didn't like to admit it her brother was significantly older than her, while she was just starting he was coming to an end - skaters were only good for a period of time before their body's could no longer keep up. The interviews he gave after the world championships, for the first time Katrina saw him hesitate in his words when he was asked what was he going to do - skate another year or retire? Her brother was being weighed down by such expectations - does he skate another year and continue what he loves or surprise everyone and retire from skating? She didn't know which he'd choose but maybe she could make him feel more like himself again.

"I'm home," Katrina called as she opened the apartment door, Makkachin giving her a friendly hello from the couch as he lay comfortably over her brother, quietly relaxing with his phone in hand.

"Oh hello Printsessa," Viktor glancing at her with a warm smile, "how was practice?"

"You would know if you had showed up today, " Katrina sighing, placing a white bag on the kitchen top in, taking out a small packaged box and looking in the cabinets for plates, "I got a lot of people asking where you were and Yakov is probably going to give you an earful sometime for skipping on him."

"Hey it's not even season yet," Viktor watching her with interest and stroking the top of Makkachins head, "I'm allowed to have a little break, there's a difference between resting and skipping after all."

Katrina took down two small plates and placed the contents of the box onto them before carrying them over to the couch, Katrina sitting on the floor with her back leaning against the sofa and handed one plate up to Viktor, "don't shoot the messenger especially when the messenger brings you cake."

Viktor laughed and took the cake, "very true," Katrina smiled at the sight of her brother looking like his normal self again.

Katrina flicked through the channels on the Tv as Viktor scrolled through his phone idly, Makkachin happy to get petted lovingly by both Nikiforovs, "Viktor."

"Hmmm."

"You know you can talk to me if something's bothering you," Katrinas words making Viktor look up from his phone, "I know you want to deal with things on your own and I know I'm only your younger sister but you can talk to me Viktor."

"I know Printsessa, but right now let's just eat cake," Katrina thought she had gotten her brother back to his normal self, that he'd perk up soon, go back to practice, finish his choreography and be the normal smiley Viktor she knew.

It wasn't until she got up to clean her plate that she noticed what her brother had been looking at, "who's Yuuri Katsuki? Friend of yours?"

"I don't really know him that well," Viktor shrugged, pausing the YouTube video, "he was a skater in last seasons world championships, didn't do very well."

"....is this the drunk guy Chris told me about?" Katrina placing the plates by the sink and walking back to her brother, hugging his shoulders from behind the couch, "you know the one he danced on a stripper pole with."

"Yeah," Viktor completely glossing over the fact that Chris had been talking to his sister without his knowledge, "you were out with Mila at the time right?"

"Don't change the subject on me, Chris told me that you two got friendly on the dance floor too," Katrina pressing play on Viktors phone to watch for herself, "hey isn't that your routine? Or something that closely resembles your routine?"

"Stay close to me, yes," Viktor meticulously watching the dark haired figure skater on his screen with the drunken words 'be my coach Viktor' still ringing in his head for some reason. "mama loved that routine..."

Seeing her brother getting lost in the screen again and the sullen look on his face, Katrina grabbed a throw pillow and playfully hit her brother, "Makkachin needs walking and you skipped practice so you walk him," Makkachin licking Viktors face in agreement.

Viktor laughed, holding his hands up in defeat at the two teaming up, "ok ok, fair enough," getting up and grabbing his jacket with Makkachin at his feet, "don't worry I'll be gone long enough for you to get ready for your date with Yuri."

"I'M NOT GOING ON A DATE!" Katrina throwing another throw pillow at her brother who dodged this time by closing the apartment door in time for it to hit the door instead of his face as he left to walk Makkachin. "Jeez if Mila blabbed to Viktor I'm gonna post those pictures of her in Georgi's makeup," Katrina muttering to herself, picking up Viktors phone as he once again left it without realizing (at least he remembered to take his keys) and putting it on the coffee table for him to easily find later, "I mean it's just them checking out a new cafe, Mila said she could't go since she was going on a date with her boyfriend and Yuri said he liked sweets too..."

Katrina looked at her reflection in a nearby mirror, 'maybe I should put something nice on though...I mean I don't want to go to in my stinky practice clothes', Katrina heading to her room. Looking through her wardrobe as she realized that if she couldn't wear anything less than stylish if she was going to be seen with Yuri but she couldn't look too fancy right or he'd think it was weird - why did being a girl be so hard?

__________________________________________

Yuri looked at his phone, checking the time for what seemed like the dozenth time since getting there, waiting outside the cafe - he didn't really know why he agreed to go - he wasn't a huge sweets lover but as soon as Katrina asked him if he wanted to go check this place out after Mila and pretty much every other female skater said they were busy, he couldn't say no.

"Yuri!" he looked up from his phone at the sound of his name to see the girl he'd just been thinking about was running over to him from across the street.

He felt very faint.

Katrina had this cute little grey grey sundress, a white cardigan, nude pink strappy shoes, and carrying a small brown leather messenger bag (http://www.polyvore.com/coffee/set?.svc=copypaste&embedder=12289745&id=123407393). She'd tied her hair into a long french plait that fell over her right shoulder, showing the pearl studs in her ears and she had her circle sunglasses on top of her head.

She was so cute.

So cute that Yuri felt light headed.

"Hey Yuri thanks for waiting for me," Katrina smiled at him, running up to him.

'Holy hell,' Yuri trying to not look down at her chest which the dress did very little to hide, darn puberty, he could feel the heat rising to his face, "y-yeah its fine."

"Come on lets go," Katrina grabbing his wrist impatiently and dragging the dazed Yuri inside the cafe, "wow it's so pretty."

Yuri just hummed in response, still a little dazed by Katrina grabbing his wrist, her outfit and his teenager hormones just in general making him feel all weird and stuff - he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. In his dazed state he didn't pull away or make her get off him, he just let her pull him into the cafe and up to the counter to order.

He couldn't hear anything, he could see Katrina moving her mouth, smiling and laughing with the lady at the counter before turning to him, looking as if she was talking to him - oh man what was going on!

"Yuri, Yuri, Yuri," she repeated his name a few times before he finally reacted with a 'huh?' and looked around disorientated, "I said, what do you want?"

"Oh I umm errr coffee frappaccino," he of course immediately regretted his decision - Mila hopelessly teased him about his 'white girl' taste in coffee, he tried to have black coffee in response but after one sip it was way too bitter for him that he had spat it out almost immediately.

"Can I get a strawberry frappaccino but with coconut milk and whipped cream please," Katrina asked, the service lady nodding and turning away to make the drinks for the 2 teens, Katrina turning to Yuri with a smile as if she was saying 'it's ok I'll order something even girlier.'

"You sit down, I'll get the drinks and stuff," Yuri muttered, loud enough though for Katrina to hear though, she looked a little taken back for a second but simply nodded and looked for a free place for them to sit.

The service lady appeared with their drinks and a small box of what Yuri had to assume was some deserts Katrina had picked when he had blanked out, "first date?" Yuri went red again but before he could deny it though the lady knowingly smiled at him, "ah ha, oh young love and your both very cute together."

Yuri was definitely red.

He hurried to pay for the drinks and the sweets without much else to say and just to get away from the situation which was making him feel weird. Was this a date? Was he really on a real date?Was he really on a real date with Katrina Nikiforov? What was going on?

"Yuri!" Katrina called over to him thinking that he couldn't see where she was sitting and waved to further draw his, and quite a few other people in the cafe (but like she cared), attention.

As much as he was embarrassed by her calling his name in the middle of a cafe, and it seemed she had zero shame while his brain on the other hand made him want to melt into the floor and disappear. But when he noticed other guys looking at her, he went straight from flight to fight and hastily walked over to Katrina, sitting opposite her and sending glares to anyone that looked over in their direction as she sat happily opening the desert box and sipping her drink.

Maybe being on a date wasn't bad...

wait did she think this was a date or not...

"So which cupcake do you want?"

________________________________________

"Hey Viktor," Katrina unlocking the apartment door, "sorry I'm late, I was out with..." Katrina looked round a dark apartment, something was very off, she noticed things were missing and Makkachin was no where to be seen when he would usually greet her at the door in some form or another. "Viktor?" Wondering round the apartment bewildered, the bathroom was unlocked so he wasn't there. She checked her phone for messages, if he ever went out Viktor would always text her at least - no new messages. She checked his room and that's when she saw - most of his stuff was gone and alot of Makkachin's was gone too. She checked her phone again in a panic - no new messages.

She tried calling him to only get his auto recorded voice mail message. She tried again and again but got no answer.

"Maybe he just went out," Katrina tried rationalizing to herself, running her hands through her hair, "maybe his phone died while he was out walking Makkachin and he started talking to someone or went to go get a drink. He'll be back soon. He'll be back soon."

She grabbed a blanket from her room and sat on the couch, she turned on the TV as she tried to distract herself but she could hardly concentrate when her brain wasn't comprehending what was going on. Viktor hated leaving her alone - the world championship had just been a one time fluke - he promised that they'd stay together.

There was no way he'd abandon her - right?

Viktor would be back, running right through that door, apologizing for being late, saying he forgot and it was all a big misunderstanding.

An hour passed.

Katrina looked at her phone again for the zillionth time again - no new messages. She tried calling him - swearing she had left 7 messages by now.

The Tv just blaring some mindless tv trash as she sat in the dark wrapped in a blanket and hugging her knees to her chest.

He would be back any minute.

Another hour passed.

She called Georgi. She called Mila. She even called Chris. She called every single one of the senior Russian skaters. They all swore that he wasn't with them.

When she called Yakov she felt sick to her stomach at what he said, "Viktor's gone. He went to Japan."

She dropped her phone.

This had to be a sick joke. It made her want to throw up for sure.

She couldn't breath, her chest was too tight to breath, it hurt. It all hurt. She clutched her chest hoping it would alleviate the pain even a little. Her breath was shallow and quick like she was drowning without water.

He couldn't of left her.

He promised.

He promised!

She cried just like the night she lost her mother. Ugly tears that stung her cheeks and eyes like acid, leaving horrid red stains in their wake over her pale skin.

Viktor was her world.

He was the only family she had left.

And as her world came crashing down - she felt so alone.

She felt like a child. So weak and so afraid of the world as it became so much darker without a light to chase away the shadows.

The worst of it - he didn't say goodbye.

He didn't tell her or leave a note to explain himself - he just left her. He threw her away like their old couch - he didn't need her but she needed him. She was 15 years old. For God sake.

He left her.

He left her when he had promised that they would stay together - he'd promised to look after her. Their mother was dead and she knew next to nothing about their father. What was she meant to do?

She had lost everything.

To her, it was worse than any fall or slip she had ever taken.

She wanted to scream but she could hardly breath. It was like something had slivered around her throat and was choking the life out of her.

You're not good enough for him. You're not good enough so he left to find someone better.

That's what her reflection in the mirror shouted at her.

You're not good enough.

If she could move she'd throw the nearest object at that mirror and shatter it to a million pieces. The best she could do in her catatonic state was bring her hands up to her ears as she tried to block out the voices of doubt.

Not good enough.

Not good enough.

Not good enough.

BUZZZZZZZZZZ

Her phone vibrated as it flashed with a call sign. She snatched her phone and pressed the receive icon without even looking at the caller id. Maybe it was Viktor saying he'd completely forgot to bring her and he'd be back to take her with him or at least say why he had left or that this was some big misunderstanding.

"Katrina?"

Yuri.

She could feel the pain in her chest choking her once more as reality hit her again.

"I know its late but you dropped some kind of notebook at the cafe and I forgot to give it to you before, I can bring it along to practice tomorrow if you want. I haven't really looked at it but if its something special or personal I can...Katrina are you ok?" Yuri a little uneased by the fact Katrina had been very quiet - too quiet for her - and when he heard her sniff like she had been crying he knew something had to of happened.

"Yuri. He left."

It didn't take a genius to know who 'he' was.She sounded so weak, she sounded nothing like her normal bubbly self he had just seen a little while ago. He'd never heard her sound so defeat, so hurt, so heartbroken and fragile that it stabbed at his own chest just to hear her say those 3 words.

"Please Yuri," she sniffed again, "I can't stay here."

After a pause and the sound of rustling she heard the only words that loosened the grip on her chest just enough to make breathing a little easier, "stay there, I'll be there as soon as I can."

When Yuri found her, in an unlocked apartment which wasn't safe for a girl already weak from a panic attack, she was huddled by the side of the couch in complete darkness with a blanket hugged closely to her body and covering most of her from sight. She had pulled herself into the smallest position she could with her arms and legs pulled up to her chest to make her seem even smaller than normal. Even with only the light of the hallway lighting the room he could see that her eyes were bloodshot red and so were her cheeks, but most of all, they were full of fear. Katrina was normally so confident looking, she took critique or harsh comments with a smile, she never once looked uncertain of herself. At the World Championship he'd seen a crack. Now he could see a girl who underneath her armour was fragile and weak, like a doll that had been broken completely or a child left alone in the world. She had cracks that no one else saw, scars from a lifetime of expectations of living up to her brothers name with no glory of her own and of being beaten down by cruel fate over and over, scars she couldn't hide in her fragile state.

When she saw him looking at her, Katrina's reaction was to pull the blanket over her eyes and block out the ugliness of her face caused by crying - she was a Nikiforov, she couldn't let anyone see her as less than perfect. "Please don't look at me." She didn't want to be seen like this, especially not Yuri who was always so strong and independent in comparison to her.