Lindsey

Chase and Liam left first thing this morning for the airport. The team is away for their next game; so, I have been left alone for the next couple days with Taylor. She has decided to drag me to dinner tonight at some swanky restaurant on the Upper East Side. Great!

I seriously consider faking sick to get out of it, but I think she'd see right through my guise. It's not that I'm trying to avoid her. Okay, maybe I am, but I have no idea how to get through a full two days, just the two of us. I'm fairly certain we have nothing in common. She's this pretty, successful, outgoing young professional with a cushy life. And I'm this awkward transplant from Upstate who just retired from a two-year stint as a shut-in. What could we possibly have to talk about?

Maybe my real concern is that after I get to know her, I'll end up liking her. I'm being petty. I'm very aware of that. It's just; I haven't had any interest in a guy for the last two years. Then, on day one in the city, I see Chase and develop a serious crush instantaneously. Since Taylor got back, I just can't shake this feeling of inadequacy. It's like, Taylor stepped into the picture, and Lindsey gets pushed to the side. I'm 95% sure they have some sort of relationship going on in the shadows. If I'm being honest, that's my biggest issue with her. She has what I want...Chase.

......

When we arrive at the restaurant, she tells the hostess her name and that we have a reservation for two. The hostess seats us at a comfy booth close to the bar. The atmosphere is great here. Perfect temperature, soft music playing in the background, no obnoxious diners, and the food smells amazing at the tables we passed on our way to our seats. With everything else she has going for her; it makes sense she would have access to the best restaurants in the city too.

Our server comes over and places our menus and some water on the table. We look through the menu and chat about how each of our days went. After a beat, the server comes back and takes our order which includes a fancy bottle of French wine, courtesy of Taylor.

In fact, the whole dinner tonight is on Taylor. She said it was because she got a bonus from work and wanted to celebrate. I'm not convinced, though. I feel like she's taking pity on me since I just started my job and haven't got my first paycheck yet. I may as well try to enjoy it. That's easier said than done, though. I'm still pretty bummed about the whole situation with Chase.

After we each have a glass of wine, Taylor asks how I like living here so far and how my job is going. I tell her honestly that I love the city and my job. She asks about the firm and what I do there. I tell her about the accounting firm and how I'm working as an assistant right now, but hope to move up the ladder eventually to be an accountant.

That's what I went to school for, after all. Taking the assistant position was just to get my foot in the door since that was the only job-opening they had. I tell her the firm has an excellent reputation and they have a history of taking very good care of employees, so that's why I wanted to work there.

She gives me an encouraging smile and tells me that she thinks what I'm doing is awesome, and she thinks I have a good head on my shoulders, and she's impressed at the legwork I did before applying for jobs here. She comments that most of the women in the inner "hockey circle" don't have such drive or determination.

The server refills my glass and offers to refill Taylor's, but she declines. She must have seen the confused look on my face because she proceeded to tell me, "I usually only drink one glass anymore. After that, I switch to water."

"Oh," I reply, still curious as to why she does that but too afraid to ask.

As if she can read my mind, Taylor continues, "I cut back a lot after my brother died. I don't know if Liam told you anything about that, but he was killed in a drunk driving accident about three years ago. I went off the rails for a while, drank way too much, partied too much, and almost made some other poor choices while I was under the influence. So, since then, I have this rule of one drink, then I'm done."

I feel a pang of sadness run through me. Liam told me a little about Justin's accident, but I was so wrapped up in Lucas at the time, I barely paid attention to what Liam was telling me. I feel so bad now. That whole incident must have been incredibly difficult for them. Especially Taylor. I don't know what I'd do if something like that happened to Liam.

"I'm so sorry, Taylor. That must have been awful!"

She looks over at me with glassy eyes. "It was, but I was lucky to have Liam and Chase there through everything. We all really leaned on each other through it all."

I feel guilty as a twinge of jealousy creeps in on me, "that must have brought you all closer together."

She smiles lightly. "It did. Especially Liam and I since we've known each other longer." She chuckles. "He'd probably kill me for telling you this, but we hung out a bit during that time, just the two of us. We'd drink and watch movies and try to distract ourselves from our new reality. We ended up making out a handful of times. I guess it was our twisted way of trying to cope with the accident."

I nearly choke on my wine. She and Liam! "You and Liam?! What?! Holy shit!"

"I know, crazy, right? But we laugh about it now."

I wonder... "What about you and Chase? Did the two of you ever..."

"Me and Chase?" She starts laughing hard. "Oh God, no! We never did anything. He was always off with one of his groupies back then." I flinch at her statement, and she composes herself, quickly adding, "he's not like that anymore, though. He was just trying to cope with a terrible situation as best he could, like the rest of us."

I nod my head, and she adds, "you know, he's actually a really good guy. Those stories they print about him in the press are grossly embellished. They'll say anything to make a buck. He's not the so-called playboy of New York anymore. He's grown up a lot recently. Wants something more out of life than fame and one-nighters."

I draw my eyebrows together and look at her as I try to process what she just unloaded. "Annnnd," she continues, "I think he really likes you." The corners of her lips draw up.

My eyes are about to fall out of my head, and I feel like my jaw is no longer attached to me. "What?! Are you serious? Me? He likes me?"

Her smile widens. "He likes you, Lindsey."

I gulp down the rest of my wine in one go and start babbling, "I can't believe this. That can't be right. Are you sure? I kind of thought he was into you. I mean, I saw you two huddled together whispering a lot the last few days; and it just makes sense, you know, the two of you. But me? Ha! Are you sure?"

The smile slips from her face for a second, and her eyes widen at my confession. "Oh no! You thought something was going on with Chase and me? Oh, Lindsey! No! I promise you nothing is happening between him and me, and there will never be."

She huffs a sigh while rubbing her temple. "When you saw us whispering to each other, he was asking me to help him with you. He said he thought he screwed things up somehow and scared you off. He was asking for help getting back on your good side."

I stare at her, blinking for far longer than I should before any words come out of my mouth again. "Oh, okay." I feel like I'm in shock. I shake my head as I try to process everything.

Chase was asking for help with me? Chase likes me? Is this real?

Taylor reaches across the table and lays a hand on my arm, pulling my focus back to her. "Lindsey, Chase really likes you. And I know with his history, that may be kind of scary, but he really is a good guy with a huge heart. We all have history. That doesn't mean we are bound to repeat our past mistakes. Don't let that fear hold you back." She lets go of my arm. "You never know; you two could be amazing together."

Suddenly, something clicks in my head. What she said about letting fear hold you back made me realize I've been doing just that for the last two years. I let fear hold me back from getting to know people; I'd given up on love and friendship because I was afraid I'd get hurt again like I did with Lucas and Nadia. She's right. I can't let fear keep me down anymore. I need to open up and let people in.

I feel a smile form on my face. "You know, I think you're right. We could be amazing together." She beams back at me.

The rest of the night felt so much lighter after that. I was no longer hiding my resentment for Taylor because I no longer felt resentment for her. My one reason to hate her disappeared when she confessed what was actually going on with her and Chase.

And her detail about Liam! Whoa! I asked her if there was anything between them. She laughed it off and said there was no chance, that they were better off as friends, she was okay with that, and so was he. I shrugged it off, and we moved on to other topics.

She told me about her mom and her life back in Vegas before moving to New York. She and Justin were military brats and moved a lot growing up. They lost their dad when she was sixteen. He was killed in combat. She explains that her tattoos are in memory of both her dad and Justin. She has a symbol for each of them with their initials, birthdates, and death dates.

Her dad's symbol is a pair of dog tags on her ribs, and Justin's is a wolf paw on her shoulder blade. The mascot for Justin's college was the wolf and he was always protective of his pack, so she thought it was a fitting symbol for him. She smiles fondly as she talks about her family.

We then talk about college and old friends and boyfriends, which leads to me telling her my story about meeting Lucas, dating Lucas, and eventually dumping him. I give her an abbreviated version of the story and leave out the fact that I became a hermit for two years after that. I'm still not ready to open up to her 100%, and it's still embarrassing admitting all the details of what happened.

She goes on to inform me of her ex, who also cheated on her. They dated for a year, and she found out he was cheating when she surprised him at his office with lunch. Apparently, she caught him in the act with his personal trainer right there on top of his desk. Guess he was in too big of a hurry to lock the door.

Then she tells me about her job with AthletaWear. How she started as an intern and was promoted after graduating to assistant and now works as an account rep. She explains that her clients are all athletes sponsored by the company. Her job is to serve as a liaison between her clients and the rest of the AthletaWear team to make sure contract requirements are fulfilled seamlessly. Many of her clients are part of the Cobras' Hockey team. She also has a few clients on the city's baseball team.

Eventually, we get to the topic of my least favorite female duo. Val and Jenna D.

Taylor asks what has happened so far with the two of them. I tell her about the nasty looks and comments they make at my expense and how Val is always hanging on to Chase and planting herself between us. Taylor informs me that I have nothing to worry about with Val and Chase, that he has no interest in her whatsoever, and she just won't take the hint and leave him alone.

I then ask why no one tells them off. She explains that Jenna D. is friends with the team manager's niece or something like that, so everyone just tolerates them. Something about the manager having a short fuse, so none of the guys want to piss him off. Therefore, the diabolic duo gets to hang around.

Maybe it's the wine. Maybe it's the realization that she isn't after Chase. Maybe it's because I feel a strange connection to her, but I want to tell her more. About my life, my feelings for Chase, about Lucas and Nadia, everything. I feel like I need a good friend to vent to about things, someone I can go to for girl-talk.

It's just; I can't bring myself to let my walls down completely with her. I have Nadia to thank for that. What Nadia did to me, left a cut far deeper than Lucas did. Her betrayal was somehow much more profound.

Talking with Taylor has really opened my eyes. My assumptions about her were so wrong. After getting to know her, I really would like to be friends with her. Good friends. Maybe over time, I'll let that happen. I just don't think I'm ready for that yet. But, one thing I am interested in is exploring where things could go with Chase, now that I know he likes me too.