Lindsey

I never thought I would do it. I never thought I would leave my hometown in Upstate New York, leave my family, all of my friends, everything I've ever known, and move over two hours away to the big city. It has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. I'd picture myself living it up in NYC, strolling through the streets like I owned the place, partying on the weekends with my fabulous girlfriends and our hot boyfriends (because, of course, my dream boyfriend would be sexy as fuck). 

My imagination ran wild with all the little details of what my life in NYC would be like. Everything was perfect, and I was so incredibly happy in those musings. For the longest time, that's all I ever wanted, and I was dead-set on making it my reality.

Then, I met Lucas. He became my boyfriend senior year of high school. He was charming, charismatic, popular, and ridiculously attractive. So, I was a goner from the moment he approached me and charmed his way into my life. I couldn't resist his playful smile, the way he'd look at me with those big brown eyes, or the way he'd run his hands through his dirty blond hair. He lured me in with his charm and devastatingly good looks and made me fall fast and hard.

Many of my female classmates would lust after him. Some would even flirt with him while we were together. Not that I blamed them. With his charisma and good looks and the fact that he was captain of the football team, who wouldn't want him? 

You'd think that it would have made me insecure, but back then, I was so confident in myself and my relationship that I didn't consider for a moment that he would be unfaithful. And he made me believe that he would never hurt me. So, I trusted him.

I trusted him so much that I started to lose myself in him. When the weekend would roll around, we would always do what he wanted to do. We would always hang out with his friends, go where he wanted to go, do what he wanted to do. When we would talk about the future, he would criticize my dreams and say they were unrealistic or that moving so far away was selfish and I should think about the other people in my life (namely him) before I plan something so "crazy". 

I applied to several universities, including some in NYC, and when the time finally came to choose where to start my future. I narrowed it down to two choices-one in the city and one where Lucas wanted to go close to home. I wanted to pursue my NYC dream, but I loved Lucas, and I didn't want to be selfish. So, I chose the college that Lucas wanted and ditched my NYC dreams in the process.

Before Lucas, I was so confident in myself and very outgoing. I held my head high and knew exactly what I wanted out of life. When I saw something I wanted, I went for it without a second thought. Somehow, in the five years I dated him, I changed drastically. I became timid, confused, and much less confident. I lost almost all my friends because I isolated myself from them for so long. 

The only one who stuck by me was Nadia. Since freshman year of high school, she was my best friend, my ride or die, my other half. She was admittedly the only one of my friends who didn't try to warn me away from Lucas. She supported our relationship. She would even come to hang out with us when we just wanted to laze around and watch D-list movies. She and I were so close that we rented a house together after college graduation.

I thought I could trust her. I thought she would always have my back. I always believed her when she said no guy would ever come between us. Then, I got off work early one day and came home only to find my supposed best friend straddling my boyfriend on our couch. Both stark naked, groping and grinding on one another like there was no tomorrow. 

Turns out, they had been doing it for years. Apparently, he couldn't resist her, and she got off on the thrill of sneaking around behind my back. I was devastated.

I moved out after that, dumped him (and her), and blocked them both on all social media. I went back to my parents' house, bawling my eyes out with a broken heart and shattered ego. My ex-boyfriend and my ex-best friend had managed to break me down completely in one fell swoop. 

They ruined my ability to trust anyone new from that point forward and turned me into a paranoid loner. I practically locked myself away after that for a whole year. I only left the house to go to work or run errands. I didn't talk to anyone outside of my family. And I certainly didn't date anyone. At twenty-three years old, I felt like a ruined woman. I felt lost.

For the past several months, I've been gaining tiny pieces of myself back. I don't shut out the world entirely anymore. I'm starting to do the things I used to that made me happy, the things that made me, me. I'm a little more trusting with people now, but I still can't say I've made new "friends". 

Really, though, can you blame me? My "best friend" of nearly a decade betrayed me without so much as an apology. She chose a guy over me, and, to make it worse, she chose my guy. The very same guy I committed myself to for five years, the one I planned a future with. There's just no easy way to shake the feeling you're left with after experiencing that kind of betrayal.

My recovery from that nightmare is thanks, in large part, to my older brother, Liam. When he found out what happened, he offered to come up and kick Lucas's ass for what he did to me. I convinced Liam not to by reminding him that doing so would negatively affect his pro-hockey career. 

Yeah, Liam is part of the NYC Cobras, the city's professional hockey team. He's been on the team for five years playing left-wing, and he's amazing both on and off the ice. He's tried to get me to open up again and meet new people. He invited me multiple times to stay with him and his roommates in the city. He told me how great it was, how much he thought I'd love it. I always turned him down. Then one day, I woke up and decided I needed a change.

I couldn't just stay stagnant and wallow away forever. I wanted to get out of there and live. And I didn't want to live so close to the two people who wrecked me any longer. For my sanity, I needed to leave this place and find a new beginning. There was something deep inside me that refused to let go of my NYC dream. 

After what I'd been through over the past few years, I was scared shitless about uprooting my life and jumping into something so new. But my family was supportive, especially Liam. He reminded me that he would be right there with me. That he and his friends would help me get acclimated to living in the city, and before long, I'd forget all about the horror that was Lucas and Nadia.

So, after months of debating whether I could go through with it, I finally applied for some jobs and packed up my life. I am really doing this. Liam is letting me stay with him and his two roommates in the city while I look for a place of my own. He's always been one of my biggest supporters, even when I pushed him away a bit because of Lucas. He's always forgiven me for whatever wrongs I've done, and he lifts me up when I'm feeling down. 

I regret those years I pushed him away because Lucas told me Liam was out to get him and convinced me I couldn't trust my own brother. Yeah, I believed him because love makes you do dumb shit sometimes. If I had listened to Liam instead, I could have saved myself years of torment and heartbreak.

It's better to learn late than never, though, right? So, here I am, twenty-four years old, sitting in the back of my dad's SUV with boxes and bags that hold nearly my entire life inside them, trying not to freak out about this huge step I am about to take in my life. I'm really trying to keep it together here, but internally, I'm freaking the fuck out. 

Mom texted Liam five minutes ago and gave him the heads up that we were approaching his building. He told her that he and one of the roomies would be downstairs to meet us.

 ......

When we pull up outside the apartment complex, Liam is standing there, ready to greet us. Standing next to him is one of the most perfect men I have ever seen in my life. He's tall (like really tall), probably 6'3"-6'4" with light blond hair, bright blue eyes, and muscles for days. I feel my face heat up, my breathing quickens, and my jaw drops. I can't remember the last time I had this kind of reaction to a man. The only thing I can think right now is, "holy fuck!". 

A/N:

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