《Spectrum》71
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** 1 Year Later **
"Nat! Come on! You're going to be late!" Nathanial yells.
"No, I don't want to leave yet." I complain, holding his baby closer to my chest.
"She'll be in L.A soon enough. We're visiting Mami and Papi soon." He reminds me.
"I don't know what the hell I'm going to do when I get back." I sigh.
"You start over. It's a new year. What's the saying? New year, new you?" He laughs.
"New year, new me." I repeat softly.
"What are you going to do when you get there?" He asks, tickling his daughter's tummy gently.
"Probably just...I don't know. Look for a job?" He laughs. "You cashed out your retirement plan and...it isn't going to last forever." He reminds me.
"I know, I know." I sigh. "Is it crazy is I go back to G.R.I.P?" I ask.
"Yes. It's a bad idea. Find somewhere else." He says. "What about that Brian guy? You told me he left, didn't he?"
"Yeah. He went to Justin's company. Maybe I'll talk to him." I sigh.
"Grayson would still probably write you a letter of recommendation." Nathanial points out.
"You're right." I say. "I probably shouldn't ask, though."
"It's been a year, Nat. You guys are on good terms. Everything worked out for the best." He says.
"Yeah." I nod. "I don't know. I'll figure it out when I get there, yeah?"
"Yeah. Are you going to go and see him?" He asks.
"I'm not sure." I admit. Although a big part of me wants to go and see Grayson, I know it might not help our situation.
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After the night I met with Ryan, everything changed. I mean, how could things not change? I was on a downhill spiral. Leaving was really the only option.
"No, you can't just leave. We can work on this! We have to! I wasn't serious about all the shit I said before..I'm sorry." Grayson says in a pleading voice.
"Stop saying that you're sorry, Grayson! You see, this is the problem! You don't have anything that you need to be sorry about! I'm the one who is sorry! Okay? I can't do this anymore, Grayson. Right now, I need to leave." I yell, grabbing my car keys from off of his counter.
"No! You don't! Come on, you have bruising all over you. You need to go to the cops. I'll take you! I can-"
"No! I can't...I know this doesn't make sense to you, okay? I get that. I'm not the easiest person to deal with. God, clearly! But I need to figure this out on my own. Until then, I can't be with anyone. Especially not you." I reply.
"No, you can! I can help you. God, Nat! Please. Just....stay the night. We can figure it out. I love you. I fucking love you and I will do anything in my power to make this better. Please just listen to me!" He yells.
"I'm sorry, Grayson. I'm moving to Miami. I need to be with Nathanial. We need each other right now. I don't expect you to understand where I'm coming from. I don't expect you to understand any of this! Because if we're being completely honest, I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing right now. Two hours ago, I assumed that this was just a regular fight. That you and me were going to get over this and be perfectly fine tomorrow. Suddenly, I was at Ryan's apartment. I don't know why. I'm fucking sick, Grayson. I need help. I can not get that help here. I need to leave. Nathanial is going to take care of me. We need to work on our family right now. This relationship isn't helping any of us. It's ruining my relationship with my brother and it's ruining your relationship with your best friend and sister. I can't be the reason that you're alone, Grayson! Please, don't be mad at me. Please, don't resent me for this. Please, just let me go." I plead.
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He stares at me with disbelief. The look of utter heartbreak is clear on his face.
"But what am I going to do without you?" He asks.
"You move on." I cry.
"Natalia." Nathanial says, trying to get my attention.
"What?" I ask, looking up and shaking away all thoughts.
"You keep zoning out on me." He laughs. "We need to leave." He sighs.
"We do." I nod. "You know, I'm going to miss this." I admit.
"This?" He asks.
"Miami. And you, of course." I laugh.
"I'm going to miss you, too." He replies. "Who knows. Maybe we'll move back to L.A." He adds.
"Maybe I'll move to Miami." I reply.
"Or." He says.
"Or we'll both just live where we love."
"Miami." He says.
"L.A." I sigh. "Damnit."
"I know." He groans. "But...we'll visit each other." He assures me.
"And we'll never let stupid shit get in the way ever again?" I ask.
"As long as you stop being a complete idiot." He laughs.
"Shut up." I laugh in reply.
"What about Sofia?" He asks with a frown.
"We've talked." I admit. "I miss her."
"I'm sure she misses you too. You're easy to miss. You're a likable person, Nat. Don't ever think otherwise."
"She's still with Shane." I reply.
"And have you talked to him?" He asks.
"No." I sigh. "I mean, kind of. He asked me to come back to Grayson one time when I was over here. I'm sure he just felt obligated to say that, though." I admit.
"Well, I can tell you one thing is for certain." He says. "You need to get to the airport and figure it out as you go."
"You're right." I mutter.
"Come on. We'll have our sappy goodbye at the airport."
"Fine. Let's go." I sigh. "It'll be okay, right?"
"It always is." He smiles.
-
The end is approaching. I'm not ready
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