Harry pov

8th of February

Today is zayn's 20th birthday and with it starts a new diary. If you would have told me I'd keep writing these when

I was pregnant, I wouldn't have believed you. These were only meant to track my pregnancy and zayn's first few years. I've grown to love writing though, and I love writing about my son more than anything.

He was beaming today; Noah had organized a surprise party for him and he was ecstatic. Zayn has been so busy

with the house recently that he hasn't spent much time with his friends and family. Zayn can be a pretty introverted guy, especially when his wolf is in control, but today he was

basking in all the attention.

He kept telling everyone about his new house and how it is almost finished. He also kept talking about how this year

would be the year he'd meet his mate. He can't stop talking about them, not that I blame him. Mates are the most

beautiful thing in this world and I can't wait for zayn to meet his.

This year, zayn will have been our Alpha for two years. He has done such an excellent job so far, and I couldn't be more proud of him. He always sets his pack first, and even when he's been so busy with the house, he keeps up with his Alpha duties.

He has a temper, and he has plenty of mischief, but he has grown up to be a good man.

~

I couldn't keep the smile off my face from his mother's kind words. I had a free hour and decided to take out the

diary once again to read some more entries. Zayn has had it pretty rough recently. After crying the whole

evening after visiting his pack he has been kind of down.

I was hoping to find something in this diary that could cheer him up. Don't think a surprise party would cheer him up right now though...

Zayn's mother wrote every day, but sometimes the entries were pretty short. Just a few sentences. There

were also entries with a more words.

~

The 17th of February,

Cade visited us today. It is rare that his wolf form goes out to socialize but there he was, sitting at our doorstep in

human form. He gruffly stated that he needed to discuss some Alpha duties with Yaser, but I know the wolf just

wanted some attention. The wolf pretends to be an antisocial one but nothing gets past a mother's eyes.

He did indeed talk to Yaser about some things, but after that he kind of hung around the house. Cade isn't usually one for words, he prefers physical contact. However, it can only be

with someone he cares about, he usually glares at strangers.

When I asked him if he was staying for dinner, he shook his head and left the house. Even after I told him I was making pancakes for dinner, one of their favorites.

He's an interesting wolf, that's for sure. Zayn and Cade have a good bond, they confide in each other and rely on

each other's strengths. Even if they bicker from time to time, zayn and Cade are truly a great match made by the goddess.

I bet tomorrow; a grumpy zayn will visit. He hates it when he loses control of his wolf side. Both human and wolf side are incredibly stubborn and don't like it when things don't go their ways.

They've both got a lot to learn, but I'm sure that will come with time.

~

I let out a short chuckle at the story. That really did sound a lot like Cade, acting all cool while really just hoping

you'll give him a hug. Adorable.

Maybe I should just cuddle more with zayn and Cade. Would that cheer them up enough? I sighed and closed

the book again. It really wasn't helping as much as I would have hoped.

"Rough day?" Someone behind me spoke up and I jumped. When I turned around I was relieved to see

Marcel.

"Just some things going on." I decided to reply.

"Want to talk about it?" Marcel asked further.

I sighed, "zayn has just been down lately, he has been thinking about his old pack a lot, and I don't know how to cheer him up." I confessed.

Marcel took a seat next to me and hummed, "That is a rough one. Alpha's can get stuck in their own heads when it comes to emotions."

I nodded, "I know he needs time to think about it, but seeing him like this just doesn't sit right with me. It's like

it hurts or something."

"Welcome to the mate bond. It's a powerful thing." Marcel spoke with a chuckle, "A positive to the mate bond is that your support will probably help him too."

"I know, that's what Zayn keeps telling me as well. I just wish I could do more." I mumbled.

Marcel shrugged, "I don't know anything else about what's going on. But knowing the effect my mate can have on me, I reckon you're already doing more than enough." He

said before standing and walking away.

---

When I got home I had a little while longer to think about things. I had already called with Harley and Fred and they both said that I just had to give him time and that my support would be enough. At this point, I wasn't sure whether I was annoyed by that advice or whether it was still helpful. I even called Robin for advice, but she told me to have sex with him. Not helpful.

When zayn came home it was later than usual. He texted me he had to pick up the books I had requested

from Ray and I had started dinner.

He remained silent when he walked in, setting a bag with books down on the kitchen island before hugging me from behind and kissing my mark.

"I missed you, mate." Cade spoke.

I turned around and smiled at him. It seems Cade won another battle against zayn. "How was your day?" I

asked.

Cade grunted, "zayn worked and then went to Ray's pack. We ran home." I nodded in understanding. That

explains why Cade is in control.

"What are you making?"

"Pancakes for dinner." I admitted sheepishly.

Cade gave a genuine smile, "It smells delicious."

I smiled, "Can you set the table?" I asked.

Cade nodded but didn't let me go for another three minute. Only when he noticed the pancakes were done,

did he rush to the cupboards and set the table, forgetting about silverware in the process.

"You can just use your hands." He argued when I asked him about it, but after a stern look he got up and

collected some silverware for us.

We didn't really talk much during dinner, but it didn't bother me. Cade isn't a talker, so I know he isn't being

quiet because of Tuesday. After dinner I sat down to read while Cade snuggled up besides me on the couch.

They brought multiple books for me to read. Some on the history of werewolves, packs and ranks, and one

specifically on mates. I decided to start with the one for mates.

I realized that I knew quite a bit of information already. The process of mating or the mate bond and its effects. It was good to know I already knew so much. I flicked through the pages, taking in the information while Cade played with my hair.

I frowned as I read a piece on heat. "Cade? Why does it say here that heat returns every two to three months?"

"Because it does." Came his helpful reply.

I turned to him and he seemed to realize that I was being serious. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Cade looked slightly panicked before his facial expression changed to annoyance.

I blinked in confusion as he groaned, "At the time we didn't want to worry you, and after that the topic just didn't come up." Zayn spoke.

I raised an eyebrow and rolled his eyes, "Cade chickened out."

I chuckled, "I wasn't angry at him."

Zayn shook his head and shrugged it off, "Sorry for not telling you earlier."

I looked back at the book, "It's fine. How much time passed since my last heat?"

"Almost a month. Your next heat should be around Christmas, maybe a bit later than that." Zayn said.

This time I groaned, "Great."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know humans can have heat." Zayn grabbed the book and read some more before he pointed out a sentence.

Human mates aren't known to have heat. They can wait between marking and mating as long as the wolf is able to control himself.

"Guess we found something that isn't in the books." I hummed.

Zayn nodded, "I think it's because I'm an Alpha. Usually, Alpha's are kind of forced to complete the bond because

of their position in the pack. The female or omega male doesn't really

have the chance to go through heat."

I nodded in understanding as I aimlessly stared at the book. Maybe we should just complete the bond before Christmas... I don't want to go through heat again.

Zayn kissed my cheek, "I can see those gears turning. Don't force yourself to do anything. We will gladly wait and we will go through heat countless of times if you're not ready. Cade and I don't mind."

I gave a weak smile, "You're not the one going through the pain though..."

"I guess so... I'll talk to Ray. Maybe there are some healers out there who have stuff that helps with heat. During your last heat we had to improvise. We can prepare for it this time around." Zayn tried to reassure me.

I let out a breath and then shook my head, "It's fine. Honestly, the cramping isn't that bad when you're next to

me. But you'll have to take wolfsbane again. And then there is the hormones..."

Zayn grinned, "Is it that bad to want me sexually?"

I gave him my meanest frown and pushed him away, "If it was up to the two of you we'd be fucking around like rabbits!"

"Do you really think that lowly of us?" Zayn asked with a pout.

"Yes!"

Zayn's smirk only widened, "We wouldn't be fucking like rabbits. We'd be making passionate love."

"And how often would we be making this 'passionate love?' Every moment of the day?" I crossed my arms in

front of me.

Zayn eyes glanced down at my lips, then trail down to my crotch. I rolled my eyes and, making zayn chuckle,

"Spending the entire day in bed with you would be amazing, but sadly we have responsibilities."

"Ah, so the man has a brain after all."

"Where have we been giving you the idea that we're some sex beast?" Zayn asked with an amused expression.

"You're always touching me!" I gave him my argument.

Zayn rolled his eyes, "We don't just do that because we want to have sex."

I looked away from him, "Whatever."

Zayn laughed and pulled me closer. I didn't fight him on it, and instead reveled in his embrace. When his laugh subsided I felt the tone change. Zayn took in a deep breath and hugged me closer to him.

"I love you."

"And I love you." I replied.

"I'm sorry I've been a bit down these past few days." Zayn said after a bit.

I squeezed his arms, "That's ok. Don't apologize for something like that."

"I know it affects you though." Zayn argued.

I pulled away from his embrace and looked at him, "zayn, if you're willing to poison yourself and wait for me, then why shouldn't I be supportive of you?"

"You were in heat because of m-"

"Oh, you didn't know! None of that is your fault." I gently cupped zayn's face, "Relationships work in two ways you know. Don't feel bad for things like this. I'm here for you just as much as you're here for me. I'm yours just as much as you're mine."

Zayn grabbed the hand that was holding his face and let out a content sigh, "I love you so much."

I let go of his face and hugged him instead, "And I love you."

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