"B-bhai j-jaan woh m-main Ha....." I tried to speak but stopped right in the middle of my sentence when I looked behind my brothers and saw him. Haider, he spotted me talking to Hamdan and Azaan bhai.

"Bhai woh main chudiyan pahan rahi thi. Woh kuch tote gayi the bus uski wajah se mere haathon main chot lagai (I was trying to put my bangles on and a few of them broke, that is why I have scratch marks on my hands)" I tried to reason as he walked up to us.

"Acha, doesn't seem like it to me though" said Azaan bhai as he glared at my hand more suspiciously. "Haider bhai, app kab aye?" Hamdan bhai spotted him.

"I was getting bored, so I thought of why not spend some time with my lovely wife," Haider replied, eyeing me in the eyes.

I looked down as he kept his eyes on me, hinting me to dare to say a word out my mouth and I'll be done for. I moved closer to Azaan bhai trying to smile, covering up my uncomfortableness around Haider and not to seem too skeptical.

"But it seems like she's too busy with her brothers" he complained jokingly with my brothers as they laughed at him. "You see, our Zara Jaan (life) is very dear to us. Her leaving home yesterday had us all very sad, so obviously we had to come and annoy her right away" Azaan bhai said, hugging me from the side, squeezing me tightly.

"Ouch..... bhai you're hurting me" I muttered trying to move him away from me. "So you have tolerated us because we can't stay away from our sister's for too long, so if we ever come over at your place unannounced then we're sorry in advance" said Azaan bhai laughing.

I just stood there as they conversed among each other, listening to what they said. I felt weird just standing next to him as he kept looking at me now and then as he chatted with Hamdan and Azaan bhai, laughing and joking as they shared our childhood stories.

Even after everything he did to me and what he said today, about our marriage I can't believe its still the same person. He looked so calm and elegant, like the perfect husband material. He changes his demeanor so quickly and now he's acting all nice and loving in front of my brothers, hiding his true colors under that facade I thought.

As the rest of the event passed by I tried to spend as much time as I could with my family before going back to that hell hole with him so I thought why not make some use of it.

I received so many gifts from Ami and Abu as well as my brother. Everyone was enjoying the night but I knew some certain people were not too happy.

Those people include my uncle and his family, as well as some of my cousins. I could just tell by their stares that they weren't too happy about this union. They all would come and congratulate me with the most fakest smiles ever.

If only they knew that I'm not so content with this whole collateral also. I was emotionally manipulated into this mess, but all they saw was that he was a good looking doctor with lots of money, he was Handsome and dashing. Not knowing his true face.

I guess I would just have to live my life like this now as I have no choice, unless Haider himself decides to end everything with a divorce because I know I can't. I can't even say that word out of my mouth because if I do I'd be dead that second.

This brings me to my last and only option, which is to listen to what Haider said it will be for my betterment. I can just continue on with my education without any problems because after all they did promise me and Abu that I'll still be able to continue on with school. Now let's hope they keep that promise as they said I thought.

This reminds me of my nursing school application, I have to check and see if I have been accepted or not by now the decisions should be made. I just hope I get it in.

"Ya Allah please help me get into the school. I'll read an extra Yaseen in the morning please, just please get me in" I prayed to myself and made a note to make sure that I check my application.

***********************************************

One Week Later....

I woke up early today because I'm going to go visit my family as I want to give them the good news of me getting accepted into my dream nursing school. Ami and my brothers would be so happy when I share the good news with them.

Especially Armaan bhai since he always wanted me to continue my education and be successful so I can't stand on my own two feet.

I checked yesterday again on the school website. I checked the status of my application and it said that I was accepted with a ten thousand dollar scholarship, as I still couldn't believe it.

I remember two days ago when I was going to check for the first time I prayed two rakat nafl (prayer) the night before it. I logged into my school account to check my status.

I was so scared that I told Bella to look at it first and then tell me what it says. Once she read the letter, she gave me the most dejected look ever.

That scared me so much that I was almost on the verge to cry again because I didn't get accepted into my dream nursing school. Once I started tearing up she grabbed me and gave me a tight hug screaming in my ear "you got in, why are you crying?" She asked.

I let go of her that instant and asked her "then why the hell you looked so sad?" "I was playing around, duh! You fall for everything" she said as I pushed her away looking at my laptop screen.

Oh my god I couldn't believe it so I started jumping around the room hand in hand with Bella. I told Maria aunty right away too and she was so happy for me. I laughed to myself remembering that day, it brought a little bit of happiness into my life I thought.

As I got up I remember that I didn't really ask Haider if I should go or not but I mean he did say that he doesn't care about what I do or where I go as long as I'm not in his way, so I guess it's fine then.

I prayed my Fajr prayer and read my Yaseen as the usual routine for me and started to get ready. I took a cold shower as its summertime and New York has lately been so hot, with the heatwave passing through the country.

I decided on wearing a cream dress with a dark green dupatta (long scarf) matching its design. I applied some concealer under my eyes to cover the dark under bags from all the sleepless nights I spent because of stress and crying non stop.

I added some mascara and finished off my look with some lip tint heading downstairs. I went into the dinning room, seeing the leftover food on the table, which means that Haider already left having his breakfast.

This has been our routine for the past five days. He would wake early in the morning, have his breakfast, leave and then come back late at night around twelve or even later in the night. Whenever we do see each other at home he would just completely ignore me as if I'm some stranger and go on his way.

I don't mind it all if he isn't interested in conversing with me at all but it would've been nice if we could've been at least friends. I would've at least had someone to talk to other than Maria aunty.

I can't really talk to Bella that much because of her studies so most of the time I end up being alone at home not doing anything. I even asked Maria aunty if I could help her around the house to be occupied with some work but she never lets me. I've been stuck in this house all by myself for the past five days now and I need company so I decided to go see Ami then.

As I stood by the table already Maria aunty came in with an empty tray picking up the leftovers after Haider. "Honey are you going somewhere?" She asked.

"Yes, I'm going to go see my mother. I have to tell her and my brothers the good news you know" I said with a huge smile. I've actually been in a happy mood ever since I found out about my acceptance in my dream school.

"Oh yes, I'm sure they will be so proud of you. This is such a big achievement after all. You'll definitely be a great nurse one day too" she said.

"Do you want to have your breakfast before you leave? I prepare it quickly?" She asked. "Yeah that would be great" I said sitting down on a chair as she went back to the kitchen to grab my breakfast.

I grab my acceptance letter that I received yesterday in my mail from my purse and looked at it for the tenth time today. I still can't believe that I have come this far, all the extra hard work and the extra classes I took did pay off after all I thought to myself.

"Ya Allah tera shukar (thank god)" I said out loud to myself as Maria aunty brought my breakfast and ate.

Once I was done I got a call from Azaan bhai that he was here to pick me up. I got up saying goodbye to Maria and left. I had already asked Azaan bhai last night if he could pick me up and he agreed.

***********************************************

"As-salamu alaikum Ami (hello mom)" I walked in through the main door. "Walaikum Assalam meri bachi, kaisi ho tum?(how are you?)" She asked, kissing me on my forehead.

"Alhamdulillah, teen Ami. Sab kidhar hai? Koi nazar nahi araha? (I'm good. Where is everyone. I don't see anyone)" I asked, looking around.

I knew that Sara Baji's family had already returned back to Toronto two days ago but Alizey bhabi was nowhere insight I thought.

"Woh Feroz doctor ke pass gaya hai Alizey ke saath, unki dabiyat teek nahi thi (Feroze went to the doctor with Alizey, she wasn't feeling well)" Ami said with a huge grin on her face.

"Ami kya baat hai?, aap bahut khush lag rahi hai (mom what is wrong? You look very happy)" I asked her sitting next to her on the sofa.

"Khushi ki toh baat hai pagal, bus confirm karne ka Intezaar hai (it is something to be happy about, I'm just waiting on for it to be confirmed)" Ami said.

"Acha agar seede se nahi batana hai toh mat bataye, wase mujhe be achi news deni hai. Par abhi nahi, jab hum sub ekate honge tab (okay if you don't want to tell me directly then don't say it, but I have good news to say also. I'll let you all know once we're all together) I said.

I still didn't understand what she meant so I just let it go because I was too happy to tell her my good news but I decided on waiting when the whole family is together, then I'll announce it I thought.

I put my head in Ami's lap as she kept messaging my head and moving her fingers through my hairs. I closed my eyes trying to relax in her lap more comfortably.

"Zara beta? (Zara, my child)" She called my name as I had my eyes closed. "Jee Ami (yes mom)" I answered with my eyes closed.

"Tum khush toh ho na? Haider tumhara sahi tara se hayal toh rakta hai na? (You are happy right? Haider takes good care of you right?)" asked Ami. That instantly made me open my eyes looking up at her. I didn't know what to say so I kept quiet, staring at the ceiling.

"Zara beta Maine kuch pucha? (Zara my child, I asked you something)" She asked again when I didn't bother answering her the first time. I closed my eyes trying my best not to cry.

"J-jee Ami, main khush hoon aur wo mere khayal rakhta hai. Bahut, bahut khayal rakhta hai" I said as tears surfaced in my eyes again.

I opened my eyes looking up at her again as she looked ahead out the window, she smiled at me saying "agar tum khush hoon toh phir main bhi khush hoon (if you're happy then I'm happy too)."

If only she knew what the truth was, I know then she and my brothers won't be able to handle the situation at all. Especially her. I quickly wiped my tears away before she saw them.

"Acha aaj tumhare saas aur sasur aa rahe hai, un hoone call ki thi tumhare Abu ko. Toh main puchna chahti ti ke kya Haider bhi ayaga?" She asked. I got up from her lap that instant looking at her confused.

"kyon? Wo kyun aa rahe hai?" I asked irritatedly, not that I don't want them to come but because of Haider. I don't want to see him. If they're here then that means that he has to be here also.

I mean like it's already awkward enough for me living at his house like a total stranger and then whenever we're around our family we have to act like a loving couple. I at least want to be free today but I am not, that won't happen.

"Nazri ne bataya nahi tumhe? Darasal Ahmed ne unko khane pe bhulaya hai use. Toh usne socha ke kyon na Haider aur tumhe bhi bhulaya jai saat. Par tum toh pehle se hi agayi subah subha (Nazri didn't tell you yet? Ahmed had invited them for dinner tonight. So then we thought why not invite you guys also but you're already come in the morning)" she said.

Ami got up to check if Hamdan bhai had brought the right groceries for the dinner. She instructed me to help her as Alizey bhabi was still not here. Ami had called Feroze bhai and they said that they'll be here in about thirty minutes though.

I just hope that Haider doesn't come along with Bashar uncle and Nazri, let him be busy in that stupid hospital of his I thought. Ya Allah please, please bring some kind of emergency upon him so he doesn't show up I begged internally.

I wanted this time to spend with my family, give them the good news about my school and scholarship and now he will be here to ruin everything. I won't be able to talk to them as freely as I can when I'm alone with them I thought.

***********************************************

We all sat in the living room after dinner as everyone enjoyed their chai (tea). I sat in-between Armaan and Hamdan bhai as everyone chatted among themselves.

Feroze bhai and Alizey bhabi had come right before zuhr prayer. By their looks they seemed so happy and excited. When I asked them Alizey bhabi said that they had some good news to share. I told them that I also had some good news which got them all excited even more.

But we decided on announcing the good news when the family is all together after dinner. I agreed to it and waited to tell them. Nazri aunty and Bashar uncle had arrived right after Maghrib when we had our dinner and were now sitting down having some chai (tea).

The elders talked among themselves, having a deep conversation about the upcoming election that my uncle will be running for, as me, Azaan, Hamdan, and Alizey bhabi talked amongst ourselves about random things.

Once every few minutes Azaan would make some stupid jokes and all of us would laugh out loud making all the elders to look at and would give her worst look at Azaan, as if he dare embarrass them he's in big trouble then.

A little after a while we heard the doorbell ring indicating that someone was here. Azaan bhai got up to see who it was when Nazri aunty again out loud, all of our attention on her.

"lagta hai Haider aa gaya. Wo thoda sa busy tha, isi wajah ah nahi sake time per. lekin maine unko zabardasti se bhulaye (looks like Haider is here now. He was actually busy which is why he couldn't come on time with us but I forced him to come)."

Oh shoot I thought he won't be coming since both uncle and aunty came alone. Why aunty? why? Why did you have to bring him? If he was busy you should've let him do his work I wined internally.

"Koi baat nahi, acha hua ke us ne time nekala apne busy schedule se aur aa gaya. Wase bhi main aur Alizey achi news dena chate hai aur Zara bhi (that's not a problem, it's good that he took time out of his busy schedule and came. Me and Alizey want to share some good news with you as well as Zara)." Feroze bhai said out loud, at the same time as Haider walked in with Azaan bhai.

He came into the living looking straight at me, giving me a fake smile. I returned the gesture and just hoped that he wouldn't come and sit by me. But unfortunately Azaan bhai had offered up his seat for him to sit by me.

He said his salaams to my parents and his, apologizing for his lateness. Ami offered him chai (tea) and he accepted. She asked me to get up and make him a cup. I obliged by getting up from my seat immediately to make him a cup.

Fifteen minutes later when the chai (tea) was made, I quickly poured it in a cup and served it to him. I noticed that all the other seats on the sofa were occupied by everyone else, except the one next to him.

I had no choice other than to sit beside him. I felt like Azaan bhai had made me sit beside him on purpose. I looked at him as he gave me a wink with a mischievous smile.

I completely ignored him as everyone one was engaged in the conversation amongst Abu and Bashar uncle. They were still talking about their upcoming elections. Apparently Nasir uncle was facing some problems and he needed some help with his jalsa (gathering for elections or campaigns).

"Mujhe jana hoga Pakistan. Nasir bhai ko meri zarorate hai, wo yeah sab akele nahi kar sakta isliye toh us ne mujhe bulaya hai (I will have to go to Pakistan. Nasir needs my help with the elections m, he can't do all the work by himself so that's why he called me for help)" Abu said.

I was too engrossed in my own thoughts while drinking my chai (tea) until I heard him say those words out of his mouth.

"Abu ap Pakistan ja rahe ho, kab aur kyon? (Dad your going to Pakistan, when?)" I asked him. "Jee beta, tum hare uncle ko meri help chahiye isliye (yes my child, your uncle needs my help that's why)" he said with a smile.

"And I'll be leaving next week" he said. This fast, what the hell. Why is he in such a hurry I thought. I was about to ask him when he'll be back but Feroze bhai interrupted me in between asking me to tell them the god news that I was going to share with them.

This is the perfect opportunity for me to inform them all with this news. At least I'll get to see Haider's reaction and what he thinks. Will his family still let me study or if they have changed their minds now.

"Oh yes.... Ami, Abu tumhe yaad hai na jab shadi se pehle maine nursing school apply kiya tha? (Mom, dad you guys remember that before my wedding that I had applied for nursing school right?" I asked them all as they nodded their heads that they remembered.

"Maine apni application ki status check kar li thi. Un ho ne mujhe accept kar liya ten thousand dollar scholarship ke sath (So I checked my status for the application and I got accepted into the program with a ten thousand dollar scholarship)" I said in one breath because of the excitement I could hold.

"What? Really?" Armaan bhai got up from his seat with his hands on his mouth. Ami and Abu were so surprised. They all were so amazed along with my other brothers also. All of them came ahead congratulating me with hugs and kisses on my forehead.

Ami and Abu were both so happy. Bashar and Nazri aunty were also happy about my achievement, at least the worry of being threatened to not study anymore was gone now I thought to myself as I smiled.

I'll be the first female in my family to graduate from a university with an actual degree, which is also so shocking to me. I can't believe I have actually come this far. Now that I know for sure that uncle and aunty have no problem and I can study all I want. They sure kept their promise.

I looked to my right expecting at least some kind of response from him but I got nothing. Except a plain congratulations and that too

without a glance from him.